SupERB Rap Battles

[@Dumbledore]

*Nutty's contest did not take place due to lack of volunteers, so I will continue with season 2*

SupERB rap battles #7

Luis Suarez (soccer player who bit other players)
vs
Edward Cullen (vampire from Twilight)

Suarez:
I'll always have the last word I'm the ref of this pitch
I thought that Jacob was the one but now I found a second bitch
I'm the Liverpool ace, you have a shovelface title
Hand balled a football got Uruguay to semifinal
You're telepathetic like a carnivore vegetarian and your girl
Is facial expressionless and your family tried to eat her
But I guess that it's true love for a hundred years old virgin
You're the biggest internet meme, a team Blade victim

Edward:
Look it might seem crazy but Alice had this vision
That I'll knock this racist labeled prick to the lowest division
So you better fake a dive and stay put to the ground
Or else I'll show you my vampiric skills and how to get fouled
You can strike a ball, I catch a car with my hands
So show how well you can swim under the pile of red cards
I'll dodge your rhymes just like you dodge a schoolboy defender
No I won't headbutt you, I'll destroy your bad temper

Suarez:
Your books destroy me... with boredom, and you'd probably watch me sleep
Anyway I can't hear you over all this crowd cheered
At me, score a hat-trick quicker than you're going down
My gold pile shines brighter than you in the sun
Soon the Spanish will know that I bring too much danger
Cause I'm playing like the Argentinian Di Maria... Angel
Even me and Patrice Evra made a better love story
Now this clown face will share the same fate as Cedric Diggory

Edward:
You kick balls for living, well let us switch the roles
You only bit few people, I fought vampiric foes
And I bit few people, your girl is probably team Edward
All you have left is making sure you header my balls good
Your style stinks like garlic, don't make me smell the fumes
The truth is that Renesmee is a tougher chick than you
A player worthy millions but your rhymes are still cheap
So lay down your dirty hands, you killed off sportsmanship

Who won
Who's next
You decide

[@Dumbledore]

SupERB rap battles #8

Benito Mussolini
Vs
Julius Caesar

Benito:
First in this battle, always first in politics
The true dictator also known for limiting dicks
OVRA for a hunt, that's what they do best
Making sure to keep quiet this epileptic in a dress
Asterix beats your empire like a barbaric Houdini
Crowds praising Il Duce, girls blow my Mussolini mini
Don't try to plan your attacks, cause I'm not a retard
I'll eat you like a rabbit cause this salad just got served

Julius:
Once every year, it is Julius'es month
When I come, I see, I conquer Mussolini on the spot
Got Vercingetorix on his knees, win on a daily basis
You're gave the pope some hope (that's dope) but you were an atheist
I'd put you under a siege to watch you battle for wheat
You failed in both world wars you couldn't handle the heat
I expanded the borders you couldn't even conquer Fiume
I'm more disastrous and dangerous than mount Vesuvius... boom!

Benito:
I brought Avanti, the army! Italian Combat Squad
Organised a March on Rome and striked a fear attack
I'd order my Black Shirts to stomp you out supersonic
I made the Pact of Steel while the "Father" was Ironic
I gained the popularity for boosting the economy
Each cover of the magazine the man who fought the Treaty
You got fucked up by a couple of Assassins already
Let me picture your punchline, "You too, Mussolini?"

Julius:
I have statues of me and a noble leader status
I fought against the pirates, I am more brutal than Brutus
Everyone knows you're just a cheater rather than a workaholic
Attracted to wars but died just like a common coward
The enemy of state I'd throw you in the Coliseum.
This ugly fat prick belongs in Circus Maximus
You fucked up the media so why not censor this line
This *bleep* *bleeeeeep* hangs out in Milan

Who won
Who's next
You decide

[@Dumbledore]

Warning! Religious people could find me offensive. I tried to make it more funny than racist.

SupERB rap battles #9

Jesus Christ
Vs
Muhammad

Muhammad:
You're Jesus Chr-azy if you mess with Allah Akbar
I'll make this virgin go red like he just got a sunburn
Desert style, this sandstorm *points at himself* will blow the Christmas star
Betrayed by your best friend, look who's got a mental scar
All your disciples died like a cast of Game of Thrones
And how can you rule with a crown made of thorns
You broke your own religious laws like a religious sinner
There's only one God and only one real winner

Jesus:
Filled with Holy Spirit I rap in the name of the Father
I'll first calm the storm then turn your blood into water
Cause I am the Son of God you just pass the word around
You're from the orphanage, while I'm in the promised land
(Oh) JC performing lyrical miracles
The Chosen One to cut you out like my circumsized genitals
I hate the dudes who treat their girls just like a dirty animal
You'll need a good Samaritan cause your state will be critical

Muhammad:
I journeyed through the desert and gained followers in Mecca
You also had a journey from Old City to Golgotha
But Jesus is a pussy, how much women did I marry
You spent time with disciples like a homo virgin Mary
And it's weird how easily Roman soldiers crossed you out
Truth is you're a Jew, you know what happens to your kind?
Just like ashes to ashes I'll turn you back into dust
Before you tell those outcast "The Parable Of How You Lost"

Jesus:
I'll free all your slaves and teach you what's morally right
So go back to your trading cause you're leaving broke tonight
You underestimate me, so I'll repel this devil
I'll knock you out faster than the tables in the temple
I helped the ones who needed help, I am a total pacifist
But I could still drop more lyrical bombs than Muslim terrorists
I'll take care of you but not like sheep and a shepherd
Remember God should love everyone... except for this pervert

Who won
Who's next
You decide

[Turtlesauce]

Wow' really awesome.

Jesus won D:

[@Dumbledore]

Wow' really awesome.

Jesus won D:

That's what I thought as well

JC got them flows

[Turtlesauce]

Fo shizzle.

Also, do Deadpool vs Jack the Ripper :D

[@Dumbledore]

Fo shizzle.

Also, do Deadpool vs Jack the Ripper :D

OK I'll try my best

[laithXRLD555]

It's very good but the Minecraft refrences are much more than those of Indiana Jones

[@Dumbledore]

It's very good but the Minecraft refrences are much more than those of Indiana Jones

Thanks. Yeah I did realise that. Minecraft would be something I would know more about

[icegrave173]

*This was done before the Erb TMNT vs Renaissance Painters*

Erb Crazy's Crazy Erbs #4
Leonardo (TMNT)
vs
Leonardo (Da Vinci)

Leonardo (Da Vinci):
I'm a sculptor, a doctor, mechanic, an inventor
Biologist, a physicist, maths genius and a painter
In perspective you get smaller as you drop further
You wouldn't even beat a little red plumber
Coming out of your shell but don't try to out-dance me
My era has called upon a painter army
Outnumbered, I'll disect you just to make my work better
Your death would be a perfect gift for Splinter

Leo (TMNT):
You see crazy omens but I'm a real folk
Don't you know I'm sfumato hot
I bet that you had no wife or a kid
Wait, weren't you the guy who died in Titanic
I'm a leader, your loneliness is a joke
Mike's Nunchucks would like to offer you a choke
Shredding fucking Shredder since the 1980's
Looking in the mirror, beat all of your paintings

Leonardo (Da Vinci):
I guess that you're good in your Nin-SHITsu class
While I watch the Foot Clan kick your ass
You're just one of whacky action figures
Make some red paint flow out of your vessels

Leo (TMNT):
I save the world that we live in
I bet you watch me dead down from heaven
My rhymes are how your last supper tastes
I live in a sewage but your rhymes are a waste

Who won
Who's next
You decide

HE PREDICTED IT!