George R.R. Martin vs. J.R.R. Tolkien

[WardenOfTheNorth]

This is my second fan made battle, but my first in several months. I hope you guys enjoy it!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
VS.
J.R.R. TOLKIEN
BEGIN!!

TOLKIEN:
Lieutenant Tolkien's here to bust a Quenya rhyme
Against this fat bearded prick who still thinks he's in his prime
I'm legendary, I'm one in Silmarillion
You don't care about your characters, you're too busy killin' em
One does not simply try to battle rap against me
I'll use that turtle on your hat to nail you to a weirwood tree
I'll strangle you with your suspenders, drag you into Mordor
Your writing and your rhymes are just as bad as your lore
Your work was inspired by mine, you overweight crook
It takes you a whole century to write one fucking book

MARTIN:
Here's George R.R. Martin, first of his name
You created Middle Earth but rapping sure ain't your game
You wouldn't last in Westeros, nope not one day
I'll set you ablaze like Blackwater Bay
So what do you say? End you like Gandalf the Grey
Beating this sickly little nerd will be simply child's play
The good guys always win? That theme's so cliché
You must be in a trench Fevre Dream if you think that's ok
Even Frodo can't save you so you best say goodbye
Cause in this Game of Rhyme you either win or you die

TOLKIEN:
You'll be nothing but A Feast for Crows when I'm through with you
You can't go one page without describing loads of food
I'm the father of high fantasy, you're absolutely nothing
You and your sex scenes are both equally disgusting

MARTIN:
How about this, I kill a Stark every time your raps suck
By the looks of it they'll all be dead but I don't give a fuck
You won't have to wait years for my next book, seriously
"The Downfall of House Tolkien" by yours truly

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!

[Stofferex]

Awesome, Tolkien won! Keep it up :3

[@Dumbledore]

Beautiful. Great work. Love the referereferences. Do more.

[Moonjik]

I love Martin but Tolkien owned him in this battle (plus the fat bastard killed me off -_-) keep up the great work.

PS. you may be the warden but I'm the king. >

[WardenOfTheNorth]

Thanks for the good reviews guys! I'll be starting my next battle shortly.

[Stofferex]

Can't wait :3

[ZombieLicker]

That was really a great battle. I look forward to more!

[Platinum]

I do say, that was rather enjoyable. Tolkien's first verse was pretty nice, I grinned at some of those burns, and the finisher was absolutely great. Martin's reply was mostly filled with so-so rhymes, in my opinion, so Tolkien won the first round. However, in the second verses they were both pretty great. But I don't really think they'll match Tolkien's first verse. As such, I believe Tolkien won. Though, this certainly didn't mean his opponent was bad. It just felt a little bland, but Martin still gave a pretty good fight. Tolkien just burned him a lot harder.

Good luck on continuing projects.

[WardenOfTheNorth]

Thank you both for the reviews!