WardenOfTheNorth's Rap Battles

[WardenOfTheNorth]

This is where my new rap battles will be posted. Here are the links to my first 3 battles:

#1: King Tut vs Moctezuma II:
http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...s-Moctezuma-II

#2: George R.R. Martin vs J.R.R. Tolkien:
http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...-J-R-R-Tolkien

#3: John F. Kennedy vs Julius Caesar:
http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...-Julius-Caesar


List of battles on this thread:
#4: Andy Warhol vs. Vincent van Gogh
#5: Mark Twain vs. Ernest Hemingway
#6: King Arthur vs. Henry VIII
#7: Brendon Urie vs. Patrick Stump
#8: Simon Cowell vs. Gordon Ramsay


Suggestions are always welcome!

[WardenOfTheNorth]

Rap Battle #4: Andy Warhol vs. Vincent Van Gogh


EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
ANDY WARHOL
VS.
VINCENT VAN GOGH

BEGIN!

WARHOL:
Of all the world's worst artists I think we have a winner
This depressed, mentally unstable, suicidal ginger
I survived a gunshot, you sure as hell didn't
Cypresses and wheat fields are your creative limit
You made yourself half-deaf when you should have gone for mute
I wasn't interested in women but you dated a prostitute
I'm the pristine painter that holds the most power
Vince when I'm done with you you'll be pushing Sunflowers

VAN GOGH:
Look at this flamboyant hypochondriac outcast
I'm a post-impressionist master, your work will never last
I'd beat you any day, any Starry Night
Just look at your hair! Such a downright ugly sight
Your work appeals to an audience that must not very smart
You painted pictures of Coke and you just called it pop art
Go pack your crappy paintings on The Factory's shelf
You coined the term 15 minutes of fame about yourself

WARHOL:
Bold talk coming from a man too poor to paint others
How your shit became famous is really quite a wonder
Your rhymes are enough to bore anyone to tears
You best watch out or you'll end up just like your ear

VAN GOGH:
Your raps and art have bad taste, just like your fans
Go back to Pittsburgh and hide behind your soup cans
I have but one last thing to say to this talentless mama's boy
It's all your fault that modern art has been destroyed

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

[@Dumbledore]

Good. I would give it 8.5/10

Warhol's best line
I wasn't interested in women but you dated a prostitute
Warhol's worst line
Your rhymes are enough to bore anyone to death
Van Gogh's best line
You painted pictures of Coke and you just called it pop art
Van Gogh's worst line
Your work to appeals to audience that must not very smart

Sorry, but I can't really judge it properly because I know little about the characters

[WardenOfTheNorth]

Battle #5: Mark Twain vs. Ernest Hemingway

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!
MARK TWAIN
VS.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY

BEGIN!

HEMINGWAY:
A Farewell to this Einstein-looking hick is what I'm rapping for
You drove a steamboat while I was fighting in a war
So come on, Sammy, where do I even begin?
Why don't you go leave on a raft like Huckleberry Finn
Your so-called humorous prose are the worst I've ever heard
You talk too much just like your use of the n-word
I won a Nobel Prize, I'm a true word warrior
I'll con you into losing like my name was Tom Sawyer

TWAIN:
Let's go, you bearded hack, let's see what you've got
I'll end your life quicker than a shotgun shot
I wrote the Great American Novel, you followed in your daddy's footsteps
Thank God for that, your books aren't even complex
Your rhymes are as boring as The Old Man and the Sea
So don't even flee or I'll throw you in the Mississippi
I'll fuck you up worse than Normandy
Just when will you see the bell tolls for me!

HEMINGWAY:
Take your bankrupt ass back to Hannibal, you literary disaster
You think because you met EpicLloyd it makes you a good rapper?
Reading your books about rivers is such a goddamn bore
You'll fail this battle worst than the Paige Compositor

TWAIN:
Cool it Bumby, I'm the Father of American Lit
The Sun Also Rises? What a load of dog shit
You look like a White Elephant, and you know what else, Hem?
It's a damn shame those planes didn't crash with you in them

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

[Moonjik]

Great battle, Heningway destroyed him. I especially love the EpicLLOYD reference.

[@Dumbledore]

Good job. Twain won this battle.

[WardenOfTheNorth]

Gracias amigos

[Stofferex]

Awesome, Mark Twain won!

[WardenOfTheNorth]

Awesome, Mark Twain won!

Thanks!

[WardenOfTheNorth]

Battle #6: King Arthur vs. Henry VIII

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
KING ARTHUR
VS.
HENRY VIII

BEGIN!

ARTHUR:
Hark! A royal fatass approacheth the King of the Britons
I hear you died from your obesity, well history's going to be rewritten
I'll slay you like Mordred, turn your dynasty into a pile of shreds
I'll use Excalibur to swiftly butcher and behead
This egotistic, insecure, lustful little twat
Your heir was an illegitimate king and a shitty one at that
I quested for the Holy Grail and gained large amounts of wealth
So take your shattered legacy and go fucketh thine self

HENRY VIII:
You fictional asshole, you think you were fit to rule Camelot?
You were completely and wholly oblivious while Guinevere was banging Lancelot
What's that? You're well known because you pulled a sword from a stone?
I couldn't hear you over the moaning and groaning of all of the hundreds bitches I boned!
I spit rhymes in your general direction, you filthy fucking swine
If one more word comes out your mouth I'll have to taunt you a second time!
I'll split you in two like England and Rome, school you like the Knights of Ni
You'll end up like the Black Knight if you try to step to King Henry

ARTHUR:
'Tis a but a flesh wound! Henry you're doomed, all six of your wives detested you
It wasn't your power or your glory, it was only your gut that grew
Do I have to Tudor you how to rap? Your last verse sounded like right crap
I'll put your head atop a spike like Anne Boleyn's, old chap

HENRY VIII:
The Knights of the Round Table were nothing more than just a fable
Could you even rule without Merlin? We all know you weren't capable
Why don't you go cower in Avalon with Sir Galahad
Cause you and I both know I'm the greatest king England ever had

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!