Video Game Battle Royale...yet another one

[Turtlesauce]

OOOH ME ME

Char: Geralt of Rivia
Game: Witcher series
Arena: La Valette Castle

[Kubby]

Great. The signups are closed. First chapter should be posted today (or tomorrow).

[GonadTheNomad]

So, what weapons does Sam Fisher get?

[Katz]

I'm hoping Bowletta gets her Death Balls and Laser Eyes above everything.

[Kubby]

Well, I plan on giving him an SC piston and a karambit knife.

[GonadTheNomad]

Well, I plan on giving him an SC piston and a karambit knife.

SC piston, k.

Karambit, k.

Can he haz NVG's and flashbangs too?

[Turtlesauce]

Great Mighty Poo wins, tho

[Kubby]

CHAPTER I

-Ladies and gentlemen! - an omnipresent voice could be heard clearly by the contestants - Welcome to yet another Video...Game...BATTLE ROYALE! - it was the never appearing announcer from Carmageddon series. - Attention now, competitors! This is your one minute warning! I repeat, one minute before the fight begins!

[Note I have NO sense of scale AT ALL when it comes to comparing the worlds]

The arena was a mish-mash of different worlds. The La Valette castle walls had gates replaced by the skull like gate from Castle Wily, which was closed, but they were surrounded by siege towers. Inside them was a mix of lowerclass buildings that came from the original game (but rearranged a bit, when compared to the Witcher counterpart), the prison from GH 3 (which was not on an island this time), and the Poo Mountain, with Great Mighty Poo's arena inside.

Next to the whole castle, was the Surround arena in it's blocky glory and then the landscape, reminiscent of that of Mushroom Kingdom, but actually coming from the Flappy Bird. Of course, there were a lot of pipes (extending into the sky) with gaps. Next to all these locations, was the Twilight River (only the river, with lily pads and all), which divided the Normandy Beach (also located next to the castle, but on the opposite side when compared to the castle), and then flew straight into the English Channel.

On the other side of a river, was a hill, with a giant slingshot atop of it, coming from Angry birds and, next to it, the Summoner's Rift field of justice. (One half of it though, the one containing the red nexus). And then, there was the Black Mesa Research Facility. Its interior was different though, with Bowletta's throne room (only the throne room she's in) being inside, as well as The Price is Right set, and the Pumkinland's fast food outlet. Oh, and one stage from the Castle Wily. The rest of the Facility was a mix of Sector C rooms and Heavenly Host Elementary School rooms. There's also a part of the Black Mesa monorail system, but it has no monorail trains. It has one of the two entrances (and ends) in the B.M.R.F, and the other one on the other side, in one of the La Valette's lower class buildings

Bowletta, in normal form, was in the Flappy bird landscape, as well, as the Flappy Bird himself, suspended in the air, ready to begin the game. They don't see each other -

Great Mighty Poo is in his arena, alone. -

Green Surround block is on the Normandy Beach, on the La Valette side, and Sam Fisher is on the Black Mesa side of the Beach. Fisher is equipped with the SC Pistol, Karambit knife, and his googles (with sonar) Note that both are Surround Block is atop the cliff, while Sam is not. -

Peter Pumkin is in the monorail tunnel, under the river

Syndra is in the Facility, in the Fast Food. -

Satoshi, equipped with a nail puller, is right next to Summoner's Rift nexus

Gordon Freeman is in the Surround arena, with crowbar in his hand, and an MP5 in equipment-

Red Angry Bird is on his slingshot, ready to launch. -

Tomba is outside the La Valette castle, next to the gate. -

Lars Umlaut is on the prison stage -

Geralt, with a steel longsword, and a silver one, for hunting the monsters, is in one of the Heavenly Host Elementary School classrooms, next to the monorail tunnel entrance.

Chaos Kin is in The Price is Right set. -

New Age Retro Hippie is on one of the lily pads, on the Twilight River, equipped with a toothbrush and a ruler

-Those who are about to die, we salute you! - Then, the announcer began counting
10...
9...
8...
7...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
-GO!

Angry Bird launched himself from the slingshot, aiming for the castle. After all, the pigs can be there! He flew, and flew, flew over the Hippie, and smashed into the skull gate, just under the skull's left eye. He did not succeed much in breaching through the castle, but he did make a crack on the gate. Then, the bird landed next to Tomba who, startled by the red fella, backed off.

-Damn pigs... - the avian muttered
-Pigs, you say? - Tomba got interested - I hate those evil pigs! dem thieves
-Oh yes, they keep stealing my eggs...
-Yeah, they've stolen my grandpa's bangle...
-...Aliance?
-Alright!

And so the Tomba took the angry bird, and went into the siege tower

The Great Mighty Poo decided to warm up. Perhaps the voice will be needed soon
-mi...mi...mi..miiiiiii...

But there was someone who did hear that. Poo Mountain was next to the prison.
-Hmmmm... Someone's trying to sing... I'll go to them and we'll make a band together! - Lars was so brilliant in his decisions.
He then left the prison.

Bowletta was looking for the way out of what she though was Mushroom Kingdom. He walked around the pipes, but then she heard something. It was like a sound of a coin being collected. Or like a sound of a bird getting a point. In fact, it was a bird getting a point. Flappy bird was flying around, with his score at 4, and then the avian noticed Bowletta. He noticed Flappy as well. She started throwing fireballs at the bird, but the blue fella dodged his attack, which was not particularly spectacular, but pretty awesome considering the atrocious FB controls.
-Haha! - Bird laughed at her.
He then decided to end this with a fire blast. She aimed...and he hit...The Flappy was unscatched though. Who would have thought that Flappy was immune to fire. Of course, that never was shown in the game, but there was no need for it, so ya know.
-Haha, sucka! - Bird turned around to mock Bowletta, and then turned to see where he is going.

Flappy did turn quick enough to notice he's heading straight towards a pipe, but did not turn quick enough to avoid that, or even to say anything more than "Oh f..." before the collision. Bowletta approached the collapsed bird, and then she stomped on Flappy

FIRST DEATH - Flappy Bird
-OOOH! Splatter Bonus for Bowletta! And First Kill Bonus for him! I guess Flappy won't flap her the bird anymore! - the announcer informed everyone of the first death.

The Chaos Kin left The Price Is Right set and wandered around the Facility. Then, he noticed a nice fast food outlet. And he noticed a person inside. A laser was fired at Syndra, and it did cause a burn. She jumped behind the counter, and conjured a Dark Sphere. She then used her will to throw the sphere in question at Chaos Kin. He stumbled back a bit, and then a dark energy blast struck the counter, making a sizable hole. Syndra created another sphere, but when she started looking for her targer, Chaos Kin was not there. Feeling something is wrong, she decided to Scatter the Weak, and knocked Chaos Kin back, who apparently was right next to her. Time to get away, she thought, and started escaping from her opponent.

Green Surround Block decided to move to the castle. He had no legs, yet he was mysteriously moving, emitting a beep everytime he moved by a unit. This beep caught attention of Sam Fisher, who climbed up the cliff very quickly and noticed a very large, snake-like form with a green head, leaving a trail in form of a thick wall. He aimed his pistol, and fired. It had no effect. The Surround certainly only thought something along the lines of "what was that sound" and after turning around and failing to notice perfectly hidden Sam, continued going to the castle.

Gordon Freeman looked around and noticed that he was trapped in the arena. There were gaps between blocks, but they were too small for him to fit. He then noticed something in one gap. What was that? He came closer and noticed that it was his gravity gun. Hmmm... He looked for it. Now, it was only a matter of regaining it back in his position. He began reaching for it.

Satoshi Mochida was standing around, when he noticed a bird getting slingshot into a castle. Hmmm, weird sight. And the bird looked delicious. And he was kinda hungry.
-Let's go and investigate this!
First, though he had to find a way to cross the river. He noticed some lily pads. Are they floaty enough? He jumped on one, and they were! He jumped on another, and another, and then he stood in front of a person with crossed legs, wielding a ruler, and a toothbrush
-Hmmm - the person said - I've been doing my measurements...
-Yeah?
-And if you aren't compensating for something, then you definitely should!

Geralt was exploring the facility, wandering through the labs and through the classrooms, and he ended up at a monorail station. He did not quite know there was no train anymore, just a single track and a tunnel, so he waited for one, and waited, and waited. But then he has heard some steps. They were coming from the tunnel. he stood up and readied for potential combat situation, when a pumpkin man emerged from the tunnel.
-Hmmm, I'm very hungry! - he shouted, when he approached the Witcher - I want a pale impotent mutant guy!
-Chędoż się! (rough translation: "Go fuck thyself!") - Geralt responded, and pulled out his steel sword.

[Poles]

Rip in peas.

[YellowNerd]

#TomBird Best Alliance