VGBR. ReduxSauce

[Top-Hattington]

This is turning out nicely so far, loved the QWOP backstory

[Lohuydahutt]

You know, I had this thing prepared. I was ready to congratulate Polar for not choosing the worst character in my analysis. But no. You had to kill the second worse character with the worse one.

Good chapter though.

To be fair, Polar's wasn't the worst in my VGBR :3

[rangernumberx]

Anticlimatic, amirite

When are you doing the analysis?

I want to see if your winner corresponds to mine

It will be posted either tonight or tomorrow, probably the latter.

[Clemi]

*waves his flag* go QWOP go

[Turtlesauce]

Chapter Two

QWOP: I want to die.
He saw Axel coming towards Ridley and he lay down in front of him.
Axel accelerated..
*splat*
Aah, sweet liberation. Finally he was free from his body. Free to be what he always was..
TRY AGAIN?
NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOO
He appeared in front of the racetrack.
FUCK

---

Axel had a little bump in the road, but that didn't stop him from getting his vengeance.
Axel turned on War Wheel, and with a roar, ran over Ridley, breaking his back. Then, thinking the dragon was dead, set his sights on another...

However, if Axel would've played Metroid, he would've known Ridley is not easy to kill. He scurried away, and went to consume Nye's corpse.
Eugh. Tastes like science.

---

Diana hit Samus head-on, knocking her over, and almost breaking her armour.
Diana: There is no man that can beat me.
Samus: I AM NO MAN. I AM
Samus turned into Morphball
Samus: A BALL
She then started gaining momentum. Like a pinball with a cause, Samus started hitting tree after tree, gaining more and more speed, and then finally releasing a final charge against Diana.
Who looked surprised as fuck.

---

Booker and Potter were still behind barricades.
Booker: Ok, man, this is getting boring. Are we just gonna sit here? I have a game to win.
Potter on the other hand, was having major troubles. His wand was fucking up. Wasn't using the right spells.
Potter got up.
EXPELIARMUS
And Booker's hair fell off.
Oops.
Booker: YOU MOTHERFUCKER. MY HAIR.
He got up, and walked to Harry, saying mean stuff.
He took him by the neck, and started pounding him to the ground.
If only someone could save him.
Like.. someone with huge tires for hands.
That thought was followed by the sound of screeching tires, something about revenge, and a crash

---

Bowser fell down, his knees cut by Rizer.
Rizer: say goodnight, motherfucker.
And as Rizer aimed the gun at Bowser, Koopalings swarmed the Arena.
Rizer sighed
the Koopalings started ripping off his arms and legs, and massacrating him untill only a puddle of blood was left.
Rizer was dead.
Wait.
Up up, down down, left right, left right, A B.
30 Rizes appeared.
All smiling
With bazookas.

30 Rizes vs Bowser and the Koopalings.
This should be fun.

---

Joel fell, shot in the shoulder by Roman.
Then, Roman got close to Joel, and wanted to shoot him in the head.
Joel, with a quick reaction, knocked over Roman's gun, then started beating him to death with a plank.
The bloody Roman on the floor took out his cellphone and said
"Cousin.. let's go... Bowling..."
Those were his last words
SECOND DEATH - ROMAN BELLIC
Joel turned around, satisfied.
Niko: Stop right there, cyka.
Joel knew that voice, but before he could say anything, he got hit with a bowling ball.
Niko: No one.. messes with my cousin.
???: Waaa
???: TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW
Niko's head got smashed in with the Banhammer.
Dion: Cya in Moderators Log, ya bitch.
Layton helped Joel up
Layton: Are you ok, sir? Need any help?
Joel: I'm fine
Layton: Would you consider an alliance? Three heads are better than two!
Joel knew that if you want to survive, you need a group. He accepted.
Dion: FRIENDSHIP!!!

To be continued...

[Kubby]

#TeamLaytonAndDion ftw! scratch that, check next episode xD

However, science does not taste that bad...

[Turtlesauce]

#TeamLaytonAndDion ftw!

However, science does not taste that bad...

Bill Nye's does.

Also

#TeamLaytonDionandJoel

[Top-Hattington]

QWOP's struggle is both sad and hilarious. Well done.

*and also I love the incorporation of Axel into the mix, this is pretty awesome*

[Turtlesauce]

Chapter Three

A huge war was waging...
Between Rizers and Koopalings.
The Rizers took the higher ground, armed with shotguns, machineguns, and generally a lot of guns.
The Koopalings were taking a more tactical approach.

Morton Koopa Jr came from behind, and smashed 4 Rizers with his hammer. This however, wasn't much use, since the other Rizer saw him, and blew his turtle head to bits.

Wendy O. Koopa: I DEMAND YOU TO STOP
*shot*

Iggy Koopa jumped on them from a Twisted Tree, jumping from Rizer to Rizer, killing about 10 of them, untill a Twisted Tree got hold of him, and the Rizers were able to shoot him down.

3 more Koopas left. 16 more Rizers left.

Lemmy Koopa was not an aggressive Koopa. But seeing his brother killed, made him go into a rage then he got permabanned and threw his ball at the Rizers, killing off just 1. Then he went off to join the circus.

2 Koopas vs 15 Rizers? Unfair. For the Rizers.

Roy Koopa was out to have some fun. He took a step back, and charged as hard as he could towards a building, knocking it over and taking down 10 Rizers. The other 6 stopped him dead in his tracks with an RPG

There it was.

6 Rizers vs Ludwig von Koopa.

He was known as the smartest Koopa for a reason. Making use of the twisted trees around him and the statue from the Hall of Heroes, he created the perfect trap.

Rizers started shooting at him. Using his agility, he made the Rizers hit the trees. The trees moved, and made the statue fall.

Killing the Rizers. But only 5 of them..

*shot*

Ludwig dropped dead.

There it was, injured Dreamy Bowser vs Bill Rizer.

Rizer aimed his shotgun at Bowser...
Layton: Excuse me, sir?
Rizer turned around and *BANHAMMER*Rizer fell down, with no more head. Not even the Konami Code can save you from that.
THIRD DEATH-BILL RIZER
Layton: Well done my Canadian friend
Dion:
They forgot, however, about Bowser. He grabbed Layton by the head and almost ripped him to bits.
What Bowser didn't know is that #TeamFriendship had three members.
Joel knew that, as he started pounding Bowser into submission, laughing and enjoying himself all the way
Dion whispered to Layton: "That's not very friendly"
Bowser then dissapeared, leaving Joel rather unhappy.

---

QWOP was sitting face down on the grass.
I hate my life.

---

Axel crashed into Booker, leaving him almost dead under his wheels.
Potter: Thank you, friend
Axel turned to Potter
Axel: I.. am not... YOUR FRIEND.. I AM YOUR BANE
And he accelerated towards Potter. Harry dodged, and got into a car he found nearby. He got in, turned on the ignition, and made a run for it, screaming and screeching Axel after him.

Among the rubble they left behind, a little spark flickered. Spark turned into flame, flame turned into fire, as an enraged Booker resurfaced, with Devil's Kiss as his vigor, and vengeance in his eyes.

No more shotguns. It's flame on.

---

Samus powerballed into Diana, knocking her over. Over and over, she kept smashing her even more. Just as she was about to give the final power-roll, Ridley made his appearance, grabbing the ball as a hawk grabs a turtle, and lifted her up to the SSBB battlefield.
Ridley: the time is now, Samus. This will be the final battle. No more regenerating, no more battles. This is the end.
Samus: Bring it you piece of bird-shit

Diana got up. She really needed some potions. She started walking to the Twisted Treeline shop.
QWOP saw her
Oh no. He knew where this is going.
*Sigh*
Diana didn't see QWOP
She just tripped over him, and fell.
Smashing her head against a rock.
FOURTH DEATH-DIANA

QWOP: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

To be continued...

[Top-Hattington]

#teamragingdeathmachine