Epic Rap Battles of Whatever I Feel Like

[Brinstark]

Hi. :D Ive decided to join in the fan made battle fun! This first one is actually something Ive written in my spare time. Adhering to my fan-ness of anime, it suits.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!!
LIGHT YAGAMI!
VS!!
KAZUTO KIRIGAYA!!!!
BEGIN!

Light Yagami:
What’s a high schooler got on this college education?
Call this cram school, cramming my fist into this failed Japanimation!
My father’s Chief, head of the family and police.
Your daddy’s probably underground pushing up daisies.
Try talking to me once you get your diploma;
but for now, call you Asuna, put you in a coma!

Kazuto Kirigaya:
Remember, your dad’s dead too! That’s virtually reality.
If this was Smash, No Contest. Mortal Kombat? Fatality.
You’ve got one bitch, but even my sis wants to fuck me!
I’ve got a larger killstreak than Misa Amane!
I’m about to knock a Light out, put you into darkness.
You’re God of this world? Well I’m an atheist.

Light’s eyes begin to turn an intense shade of red as his muscles tighten. Eventually he calms down.

Kira:
My name’s Kira, world leader, punishing every single beater.
With rhymes that cut deeper than Lisbeth’s swords, draining your HP meter.
You got girls? Sure, a 12 year old who wants to roll you into a Kirito burrito.
I’m a detective detective. Killing all who oppose, damn right I’m lethal.
I’ve got the wits to hunt down L, the gall to face the death of my father.
Your chance of victory’s about as real as your daughter!

Two Nerve Gear helmets drop from the sky onto Light and Kazuto’s heads, transporting them to SAO.

Kirito:
Jesus, your personality can give someone a heart attack in 40 seconds.
You’ve got no flow or skill, but I’m Dual Wielding those weapons!
Even if you’d Shinigami Eyes you couldn’t see that your end was Near your pinnacle.
If you want to kill the bad guys then kill your raps because they’re criminal.
Pawning your work off of Mikami? I’ve seen more balls on Asuna.
If you’re such a genius how’d you get your ass killed by Masuda!?

WHO WON!?
WHO'S NEXT!?
YOU DECIDE!!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!!

[Lohuydahutt]

Pretty good, not perfect or anything but honestly there's not much to do but go up from here :3 But just as a little note

Pawning your work off of Mikami? I’ve seen more balls on Asuna.

While I definitely get what it's trying to say it also comes off as an unintentionally hilarious self diss if you take it literally xP

[Lancer]

Pretty good! One recommendation--as a battle writer and rapper, I've found that 6 line verses are REALLY janky (at least, when rapping they are, beats aren't very conducive to them), so I'd recommend next time cutting a couplet from the final verses and putting them in the first verses. As you're just writing, I mean, it's not a huge deal, so do what you like

A lot of the lines you have here are really spectacular, though, and although a few are a bit wordy, they flow pretty well. Nice job.

[Brinstark]

Thanks guys, I know its not the best. I plan to improve as I go though. Trial and error.

Pretty good! One recommendation--as a battle writer and rapper, I've found that 6 line verses are REALLY janky (at least, when rapping they are, beats aren't very conducive to them), so I'd recommend next time cutting a couplet from the final verses and putting them in the first verses. As you're just writing, I mean, it's not a huge deal, so do what you like

A lot of the lines you have here are really spectacular, though, and although a few are a bit wordy, they flow pretty well. Nice job.

Thanks for the advice, although Im slightly confused. Do you mean the verses are too long or too short?

[Lohuydahutt]

Thanks guys, I know its not the best. I plan to improve as I go though. Trial and error.


Thanks for the advice, although Im slightly confused. Do you mean the verses are too long or too short?

He's suggesting that you could've restructured them to 8-4 verses instead of 6-6 ones if I interpreted it correctly xP

But again, since it's a writing-only fanmade it doesn't really matter much. Fuck you could do a 2-25 verse if you felt like it. It would be weird but you could do it xP

[Lancer]

Oh, sorry. My recommendation is to do verses that can be divisible by 4, such as 4/8/12/16, et cetera. Length doesn't matter, but for a rap, divisibility by 4 should be best.

And yeah, what Loh said is right, you can of course do whatever you'd like, I'm simply giving a recommendation

[Brinstark]

Heres another one I just wrote. Still not the best, but I like it.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!!
GLADOS!
VS!!
THE TEEERMINAAATOOORRR!!!
BEGIN!!

The Terminator:
Prepare to be Terminated. Eradicated.
This bitch AI had Spheres but got castrated!
By a chick named Chell, straight outta Hell.
Tore your lab to pieces. Does that ring a bell?
But I'm your Salvation, top mechanation.
Little Caroline's a slut with a "Cave" full of Johnsons!
Crush ya harder than that fucking moron Wheatley.
I'm comin' back with a Genysis; Gabe'll never let you see three.

GLaDOS:
Oh. Great. It's Robocop with a CPU malfunction.
Time has directed you to the scrap heap; you should set another junction.
Reviewing your files, I've found you to be a murder-hungry bot who never ate.
So you can go Cyberdyne on a Mashy-Spike Plate.
You couldn't Skynet a profit higher than the Matrix; it did it better.
And I won't C 3, but you won't get a P.O. because you're a dead letter.
Come a year we'll see another defect be revived.
Your arc is done but meanwhile I am Still Alive.

Turrets: Hello.

*The Terminator is shot down by Turrets but then rises again with half his face missing.*

The Terminator:
I'm such hot stuff , I make the Cold War thaw out.
You're so preoccupied with your "subjects" you let a Rattmann crawl about.
I'd say it's Judgement Day but it takes a bird to send this bitch South.
I'd hear better disses straight from a mute's mouth!

*GLaDOS loses her monotone voice and becomes angry*

GLaDOS:
I'll burn your kind down with combustible lemons as Connor cries!
Fuck the cake, your whole existence was a damn lie!
Two Portals' all it takes to displace your movie line.
Send your scraps up to Space Core!... But there won't be a thumbs-up this time.

WHO WON!?
WHO'S NEXT!?
YOU DECIDE!!!
EPIC! SPAAAAAACEEEEE!!! RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!!

[Brinstark]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!!
JAY GATSBY!
VS!!
THEEEE GOVEEERNOOOOR!!!
BEGIN!!

The Governor:
Post-apolitician with a vision; you can call me The Governor (The Governor).
You tried to pluck a Daisy but you couldn't covet her (covet her).
You're a sappy millionaire with no heir, I'll put you down like Milton.
Tearin' holes in you like my name was George Wilson.
Woodbury you in flow; another burial at sea.
The biggest bad since Heisenberg on the AMC.
Turns out Gatsby ain't so Great, now isn't that funny?
And I really gotta question how this cheapskate got his money.

Jay Gatsby:
Now old sport, you don't wanna step to the roarin' 20s.
Cheapskate? Michonne wouldn't even spare a Penny.
I forgive Wilson's sins, he best thought an eye for an eye.
But my two eyes see that's not the case with you, now is it big guy?
You're another corrupt politician, took a cue from Rich Nixon.
Old sport, you're in deeper shit than my good ol' pal Nick's in.
I've got a party to attend, maybe I'll mix some martinis.
But the only club you've seen is the one that killed Martinez.

The Governor:
I've got an iron fist, strong enough to rule the nation.
Crimes so big they live in a black man's hallucinations.
I did what was best for the strong, no matter how you spin it.
Now earn your keep or I'll have your ass in a New York minute!

Jay Gatsby:
I own the East Egg, and the West Egg, you've surely got none.
But you sure got screwed by Tara, AND SHE'S A LESBIAN!!!
I was the fictional pinnacle of acclaimed writer Fitzgerald;
You and Robert Kirkman're just the bottom of the barrel.

WHO WON!?
WHO'S NEXT!?
YOU DECIDE!!!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!!

[Brinstark]

I wrote, er... typed, this battle with my cuz. He was kind enough to enlighten me with some very revealing info beforehand. Please enjoy! :D

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!!
TATSUMIGAKILL!
VS!!
YAAAAACKEEEERZZ!!!
BEGIN!!

Yackerz:
Yo, the Yackz is back on the attack.
I'm crushin' my cousin 'till he's about to crack!
3 years of experience pimping with my forum homies.
A little ban never hurt my pride, but without my crew I'll admit I was lonely.
But yo Tatsumi, don't step to me
lest you wanna get Sinister Spike'd by your own family!
I'm at the top of my game, call me Alejandro.
Is that such a shocker? Then call me Helio!
But rest assured, one thing will always reign true.
PB and Sparts'll back me up 'fore they even turn to you!

TatsumiGaKill:
You've got a rep, yes, but are you prepared for this?
With more name changes than a dude in protective services.
I'm stealing your "crew" as I serve this dis.
Now make like Blazing Pwnage, and burn to crisps.
I'm 4real trashing you, your little GlisXor persona too.
Switching up my flow more than you switch groups.
I'm making popular headway, right away, just ask Adonis.
You call yourself Gliscor but you're more like an Oddish.
Better take Kovah before you open your trap.
But knowing your games and stories, you won't ever finish this rap.

Yackerz:
Ask Adonis? If I'm honest, I gave him that chair leg.
I'm a bonafide villain; you're obsessed with hentai... excuse me, anime.
As YN's prince, I'll gif you a chance to run.
But don't you ever forget who the forum Glikes as #1.

TatsumiGaKill:
If it weren't for me, you wouldn't even be in redemption.
Even SWJ puppeted you like he was Jim Henson.
When I rise on this site you'll wish you were never born.
But hey, big cuz, at least you've got that porn.

WHO WON!?
WHO'S NEXT!?
YOU DECIDE!!!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!!

[Faker]

... Well, you thrashed me cuz XP

It's cool tho. I'm not even angry. *pops inner blood vessel.*