VGBR. ReduxSauce (maybe I can finish it this time)

[Turtlesauce]

Episode zero: Let the games begin!

Rome, Italy.

Looking over Rome, you might see the Colosseum. It used to be a place of blood-drenched fighting, people chanting as gladiators fought for their lives, only to be met with gruesome death. Nowadays.. it's a quiet place..

BUT NOW IT'S A PLACE OF BLOOD-DRENCHED FIGHTING, PEOPLE CHANTING AS err.. GLADIATORS FIGHT FOR THEIR LIVES, ONLY TO BE MET WITH GRUESOME DEATH.

I am your host, the one, the only, WAAAADE WILSON

*crickets*

DEADPOOL YOU IDIOTS

*crowd cheering*

That's more like it. Now, introducing.. THE GLADIATORS.

First off, straight from a *giggles* CARD GAME: JAAAINAAA FUCKING PROUDMORE

The Southeast Gate opened, and Jaina walked in the arena of the Colosseum, as the crowd went wild

Jaina: My magic will prevail!

JUST LOOK AT THAT CROWD! I think we all know who's winning this. Speaking of winning, our next gladiator will not. Give it for... SKARMONY

Skarmony flew into the arena, and sat on the pillar. The crowd could care less.

WOW, I THINK SOMEBODY JUST FELL ASLEEP IN THE AUDIENCE. Let's wake them up.. with the one and only... SHAQUILLE O'NEAAAAAL

Shaq entered the arena, as people started screaming with excitement.

Shaq: Yo, my man Wade, wassup. We still meeting up after this game? You said you'd be bringing those girls

WOW, HEY THERE, MY WIFE COULD HEAR.

JUST KIDDING, THIS HUNK OF MAN IS AN ELIGIBLE BACHELOR, LLLLLADIES. Ahem. Moving on.

Here is the second deadliest man in red tights, show some love for the RED RANGER!

The Red Ranger stepped into the arena, and was looking around. Fighting huge creatures is more exciting.

OHOHO, We have a duo lane coming up. Straight from the game that nobody likes but everyone plays, give a warm welcome to BARD and DRAVEN!

Draven: Not Draven... DRAAAAAAAVEN!

Yeah whatever you fucking weirdo.

Bard: 🎶

Speaking of weirdos.. ANYWAY.. moving on. You hear that ladies and gentlemen? He's coming this way, and he's after rings.. and blood! GIVE IT UP FOR SUPER METAL SONIIIIIC

Metal Sonic entered the arena, and started dashing around it.

Well, to each their own. Open your xbox live, and prepare to get flamed cause here comes the Counter-Terrorist!

The Counter-Terrorist stormed into the arena

Counter-Terrorist: Alrite guise, I hope ure not as n00bs as your profile says, lmao. Let's finish before my mom comes home, tho, I should be doing homework. GL HF

*sigh* Yep, that's your average CS player. Anyway we got two more contestants, but trust me, I'm saving the best for last! There he is! Do you see him? OF COURSE NOT, BECAUSE HE'S A MASTER OF STEALTH. He could shoot me right now, but he's smart enough not to! Give your best for BISHOOOOOP

Bishop dropped from a helicopter, and dodge-rolled to the nearest cover.

Sheesh, someone get him a Xanax. Aaaand speaking of calming down, here comes the master of peace, Nobel prize winner, hater of hate.. MAHATMAAAA GHAAAAANDI. JUST LOOK AT THAT CROWD, IT'S GONE CRAZY. FUCK YOU JAINA, THIS is the crowd favourite.

Ghandi entered the arena, slowly bowing before the crowd.

Ghandi: A battle can be won without throwing a single hit.

Yeah, good luck with that. OK, LET"S GET THIS STARTED. Wait.. what? I missed someone? Where? What? A tiny prince? You hitting that LSD again, Steve? OH WAIT? THAT LITTLE TURD? YEAH, I GUESS THAT LITTLE ANT OVER THERE IS A CONTESTANT, GOOD LUCK TO YOU

The Prince was in the middle of the arena, and he was saying something. We couldn't hear, though.

NOW...

LET

THE

GAMES

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!

---

To be continued!

[Kubby]

Ghandi: A battle can be won without throwing a single hit.

Who would throw a nuke anyway? They have to be dropped.

[Turtlesauce]

Who would throw a nuke anyway? They have to be dropped.

shhhhhhhhh

[Top-Hattington]

This makes me feel things. Excitey things.

[rangernumberx]

Analysis

Bishop is the Deputy Director of Rainbow Six, a powerful multi-national counterterrorist group. With his skills and experience, he quickly reached a high up position in which Bishop has a team which has never lost a mission once. Given the secrecy of his group, he could theoretically have access to every weapon on the planet, which usually come into six catagories: Assault rifles, Light/Sub machine guns, Shotguns, Sniper Rifles, and Hand guns. Honestly, there’s so much variety in the different weapon catagories and his clothing options (including camo and bullet proof vests), I can’t cover it all. Let’s just say that he is extremely skilled, but he usually goes in as a team and with some sort of plan, which isn’t available here.

Ghandi. Oh, Ghandi. The main problem here is that…well, it’s Ghandi, who’s most well-known for peaceful demonstrations. But also there’s the fact that this is Ghandi from Civilisation V. In the first game, there was a glitch that made him the most aggressive character in the game once he got democracy, and constantly threatened the world with nuclear strikes (which is probably what will happen with his super). He actually has the highest rate of nuclear weapon production in this game, as a reference to that. However, the fact remains that he is a weak old man without any weapons or desire to use them. The biggest threat is that, if you’re a warmonger, he’s extremely unlikely to work with you, so he’s probably not going to align with anyone here.

Bard is some sort of interdimensional being that rescues existence from complete destruction, from what I can make out from his lore. I have no idea how that got him into the League of Legends, but whatever. When he’s on the field, Chimes appear, which grant him a brief increase in non-combat speed, extra experience, and restores his Mana. Meeps are also attracted, which are boosted in power every 5 chimes and attack alongside Bard once before disappearing. He can fire out a line of energy for damage and slowing the first hit down, create shrines which heal him but are destroyed by opponents, create one way passage through walls, and freeze everything in a certain area in time for a few seconds. His special, which I believe to be Zhonya’s Hourglass, freezes him in time for a few seconds, making him invincible but also unable to do anything. Bard can cause annoyance in enemies and can probably hold on for a while, but he lacks the offensive capabilities that others have to actually win this.

The Prince stands at an impressive 5cm tall. So, yeah, I guess it goes without saying that pretty much anything can kill him if it gets a direct hit. Also, his life seems to follow a distinct pattern: The King of all Cosmos (his father) does something stupid and destroys a lot of important things. The Prince is then thrown down to roll things up to make up for The King’s mistakes. He does so, and The King makes a…not even a promise, more an absent minded statement that he shouldn’t do what he did again. Rinse and repeat for as long as it takes for people to stop buying the games. His one and only weapon is the titular Katamari, which has the appearance of a very lumpy ball. Everything that runs into it becomes stuck to it until knocked loose, which makes it bigger and possible to roll up even bigger things, which makes it even bigger until he ends up rolling up the entirety of the world or The King is satisfied with its size and makes it a star. There are numerous other abilities they have, but none of which are relevant to this battle. He can hop, though, so there’s that. As living beings have been rolled up and been fine, the only way The Prince seems to be able to finish them off is with Royal Rainbow, which takes the Katamari away to become a star. After that’s used up, though, The Prince is a sitting duck.

Metal Sonic is pretty much Eggman’s magnum opus when it comes to robotic minions. It was created with the sole intention of destroying Sonic, so has numerous of his abilities, such as his signature breakneck speed capacity and can imitate his moves. The main problem with him is that, well, he has never beaten Sonic canonically, meaning that he has failed at his primary purpose. However, he does try his best, with everything from an Iron Man-esk chest laser to super computer intelligence to telescopic limbs. However, some of his attacks do have some sort of negative effect, such as the Ring Spark Field forcing him to decelerate. It could be reasoned that when Metal Sonic slows down he becomes a lot more vulnerable, which makes Bard a big threat to him. However, his special move, which turns him into Metal Overlord, gives him an immense power and speed boost, claw missiles, chaos control…I’m going to have to ask you to do your own research on him, because I feel like my view of him is tainted by how he’s my character.

Counter-Terrorist is just a generic counter terrorist from CS:GO. They tend to have a wider range of weapons than the terrorists they face, but those tend to deal less damage, and that’s about it. There aren’t any defining, key facts about these guys. The named AWP is an extremely powerful sniper, bolt action with a OHK ability on any part of the body, save legs. He has shotguns, automatics, (dual) pistols, and so on. Standard stuff, but he also has numerous side equipment such as incendiary grenades, flashbangs, and an incapacitating taser (with only one shot). I would say that he would probably work with Bishop, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was controlled by Zyroda. It should make him…slightly unpredictable (I don’t think anyone will predict a 360 no scope attempt) but all the more annoying, and a target for everyone else.

Skarmory, AKA Iron Pigeon, is an annoyance. First off, it is a flying/steel type, which makes ground and poison type moves have no effect on it, electric/fire type moves super effective, and normal, grass, flying, psychic, bug, dragon, steel, and fairy type moves not very effective. This gives it great coverage, and while it can only learn four moves at a time, those probably have great annoyance tactics. First of all, Roost removes it’s flying type, and therefore it’s ground immunity and electric weakness, as well as healing it’s HP by half. It can also learn Spikes/Stealth rock, both of which cover the ground with their named item and damage any Pokemon that gets switched in. Here, it probably means that people should watch their step. Defog removes all entry hazards, including the aforementioned, but it also renders the entire playing field clear of things people can hide behind or of smokescreens. Alternatively, Sand Attack throws, well, sand into opponents eyes to lower their accuracy, or Whirlwind force switches an opponent’s Pokemon. Here, it can mean any number of things. For a final attack, Fly takes two turns but renders Skarmoy out of the firing line for the first, and air slash has a high chance of causing an opponent to flinch, making them miss a turn. With a full restore to back it up, opponents will probably have to wait for it to run out of PP to beat it. Which will take a long, long, long, long, long, long, long time.

Jaina isn’t the one from Warcraft. Instead, she’s the one from Hearthstone, a card game based on Warcraft, in which she’s the Mage class. She, herself, can’t do much fighting in this game. Sure, there’s Fireblast which causes 1 damage to any opposing minion or player, but that’s now her special attack. Instead, she focuses on minions and spells for her attacks, and she can pull out pretty powerful ones. Flamestrike damages all opposing minions for 4 damage, Fireball one enemy for 6, Mirror Image creates two 0/2 minions with taunt, forcing opposing enemies to attack them first, and Frost Bolt, for 3 damage and stopping them from attacking next turn. These can even be increased in damage output by certain minions! She is balanced out by Mana Crystals, which increase by one every turn, and which are required to cast all spells and summon all minions. She, herself, is very durable, being able to tank 30 points of damage, but she still needs to work strategically to win. Can she win this? I think she has a chance, but it all depends on the luck of the draw, being able to hold out long enough to play her powerful cards, and not taking too long so she runs out of cards and starts taking self-inflicted damage.

Draven is the GLOOOOORIOUS executioner. Basically, he loves putting on a show so much that he kept on increasing the opportunity for escape those sent for execution had, just to show off, and the crowd loves him for it. So much so, that killing a minion, monster, tower, or just plain catching his axe nets him bonus gold. The axe in question is actually sent spinning when an enemy is hit, and if caught it automatically readies to be used again. With this ability used, the next attack also gains an attack boost, and he can have two spinning axes at once. He can also increase his movement and attack speed for a while, throws both his axes to knock those hit aside and slow them down, and Whirling Death throws them together, dealing damage that decreases with each hit, until ultimately reversing direction and returning, with damage being set at its maximum again. His Guardian Angel item, which revives him once every period of time after taking lethal damage, is welcomed due to his personality. Due to his desire for drama and flair, he’s likely to forgo easy kills in hopes of making it more entertaining, therefore putting himself at greater risk. There is only so long that can work for before he dies.

Shaq is from a game so bad that people have campaigned to have every copy of it in existence destroyed. In it, Shaq comes across an old dojo, in which he’s told that he is the prophesised one, like the main character is in every other game, to defeat the evil Sett Ra. The key defining feature of him is the terrible controls. Everything has lag, and it just devolves into attempting flying air kicks the whole time. Shaq utilizes his own martial art of Shaqido, a martial art as lethal as it sounds stupid. Even though I haven’t seen them used, he has two special moves: Inferno Kick, which is a flaming roundhouse kick and…oh god…Shaq-urikin (my hope in humanity has just vanished) which throws a spinning blade projectile across the screen. I can’t really imagine how ‘Slam Dunk’ will be a good move, so I’m just going to imagine that scene from Space Jam where Jordan is turned into a ball and dunked, and hope it’s something akin to that. If it wasn’t for this game’s rule on joke characters, I would put him down to be the first to die.

The Red Ranger is the leader of the Power Rangers, and has the compelling desire for chewing the scenery with his actions whenever he puts the suit on. What separates him from the rest (seeing that this is Jason Lee Scot, the original Red Ranger) is that he is a trained martial artist (more so than Shaq, at least), which is boosted by the super strength and durability the suit gives him. He owns the Blade Blaster, which pack a punch as either small swords or laser pistols. But, while that was standard issue for all Rangers, he personally has the signature weapon of the Power Sword, which has boosted range and power. When he runs two fingers down it, he can send a devastating slash of energy towards his opponent. For a brief period, he also wielded the Dragon Dagger (which fires green blasts of energy, combinable with the Power Sword for added strength) alongside the Dragon Shield (which should be very protective, but I can’t find many examples of it being so). These both originally and mainly belonged to the Green Ranger anyway. When their monsters become giant, though, he can call in the Megazord, which is a giant mecha. That’s all you really need to know, in this form he can literally stomp on the rest of the competition. While he should be a great contestant, he lacks versatility in his abilities, which may count against him.

[Kubby]

Gandhi has one special ability you've forgotten.
...
...
...
...

Spoiler: 

He spits yoga fire

[Lohuydahutt]

Also Skarmory has sturdy but I doubt that would come into use unless it's like

*almost dead*
*Full restore*
*blow that should have killed him in one shot*
*roost*
*troll face*

[Turtlesauce]

Episode One: This battle is going south.. or West?

The Prince is rolling..

Counter-Terrorist: OK YOU N00Bz, rdy to git pwned?

UGH COULD SOMEONE PLS KILL THAT GUY?

Bishop climbed a column, and was aiming his sniper at the Counter-Terrorist. It would be too easy to kill him now. Aim. And shoot.

Counter-Terrorist: OW FUCK YOU FUCKING CAMPER

He fell to the ground, he was shot in the leg. Bishop got down from the column, and headed towards him. He pointed the pistol to Counter-Terrorist's head.

Bishop: You think war is a game, kid? Well you got another thing coming. Say goodni..

???: Yo. Yo Bishop, first kill, that's awesome, I'mma let you finish him, but I gotta enter this VGBR, yo.

OH MY GOD, PEOPLE, COLOUR ME STUNNED! It's Kanye West ladies and gentlemen, and he's TOTALLY entering our VGBR!

Kanye: Yo who's ready to get fucked up?

*Fangirls screaming*

Kanye: Ay I said fucked up not knocked up chill out bitches.

Bishop was pissed. He dropped his pistol, and took out his knuckle ring. Using all his force, he punched Kanye in the face. Kanye fell to the floor, unconscious.

Bishop: Yeezy is down, I repeat, Yeezy is down.

Jeez, I hope he knows we disabled his comm-link. Anyway, let's look to the other side of the arena.

The Prince is rolling..

Ghandi: I do not wish to fight you.

Bard: ♫♬

Draven: I feel bad for you, then.

Ghandi: You are nothing more than an executioner, I am a man of the people. You kill me, and you accomplish nothing.

Draven: Fine by me

Draven sent his axe forward, cutting Ghandi in two.

OOOOH SNAP PEOPLE, LOOKS LIKE OUR FIRST KILL OF THE DAY

Ghandi: Uh... If it's a fight you wanted... it's.. a fight.. you get.. BITCH

*click*

Draven: What the hell was that? Ugh, doesn't matter. Finish him, buddy.

Bard went up to Ghandi.

Bard: ♩♫♪

*stomp*

First death: Mahatma Ghandi

The Prince is rolling..

Draven: Hear the crowds chanting? I bathe in blood as I bathe in adoration! THIS IS JUST THE FIRST KILL OF MANY. WELCOME TO THE VGBR... OF DRAAAAVEN

Bard started dancing with the Meeps

This guy has so much potential.. reminds me of me. Brings a tear to my eye, really.. Anyway, let's take a look at what my friend Shaq is doing

Shaq was face to face with Jaina

Shaq: C'mon, you ain't the first woman I beat

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jaina: Do not take me lightly, O'Neal

Shaq: Oh, you gonna feel pretty bad when you messed with a Shaqido master.. HIIYAAA

Shaq tried a flying kick, but fumbled and fell down..

Shaq: Dammit!

Jaina: Enough of this!

Jaina conjured up a fireball, and threw it at Shaq, knocking him into a wall.

Shaq: Oww.. my head.. what is happening to me.. I'm not.. a karate master.. I'm not a fighter.. But.. what am I?..

Red Ranger appeared in front of him, rubbing his hands.

Red Ranger: Well well.. I remember when our premiere got cancelled so they could show one of your games.. payback time

Shaq: IS THIS FOR REAL?

The Prince is rolling...

OH I DO LOVE WOMEN WITH A TASTE FOR FIRE. Looks like we have one more feud going on.. SKARMONY VS METAL SONIC

Metal Sonic was running around the arena, waiting for a moment to strike Skarmony.

Skarmony was on a column, observing Metal Sonic. He seemed to slow down.. he was coming straight for him. NOW was the chance. He just had to fly and grab him like the eagle picks up the turtle. NOW

*flinch*

FUCK.

Metal Sonic crashed into Skarmony, sending him into a wall.

That looks like the end of Skarmony folks.. I haven't seen a crash like that since I borrowed my car to Wolverine. Sheesh.

Skarmony had 1 hp left. Hmm.. this looks like a good place to.. roost.

The Prince is rolling..

I think that sums up this round folks. And now it's time to... SPIN
THE
WHEEL
OF
ARENAS

Let's see what this baby has in store for us. GIVE IT UP FOLKS.. FOR DE_DUST!

Suddenly, the columns turned into old buildings, the gates turned into gateway through houses, and the sand turned to.. well.. dust?

JOIN US NEXT ROUND TO SEE WHO... bites de_dust.

*Crowd boos*

To be continued...

[Kubby]

Oh well, seems like Gandhi got out-joked by Shaq and Kanye. I expect him to get some post-mortem kills though. Not everyone gets to get those.

[Turtlesauce]

Oh well, seems like Gandhi got out-joked by Shaq and Kanye. I expect him to get some post-mortem kills though. Not everyone gets to get those.

*click*

:P /5char