Hey look. ...I made a Rap Battle.

[Klonoa]

Behold! I made a rap battle! ...Maybe more in the future! ....Yeah, that's all I got. By the way, I'll be trying not to do more Fire Emblem battles in the future. Maybe one more, thanks to Turtle.
Battles

1. Corrin vs Robin
2. Sain and Kent vs Sully and Stahl
3. Aung San Suu Kyi vs Ho Chi Minh

[Turtlesauce]

I had to browse the reference guide, but this battle was really on point. Good job!

[Mike Hat]

I liked this battle a lot tbh. I think Corrin won, although I haven't played FE so I might have missed some references.

[Klonoa]

Call me a nerd, but I love Fire Emblem. I decided to put the two most famous customizable Avatars in the FE series, Robin from Awakening and Corrin from the unreleased Fates, together in a rap battle.

For those who have no idea what Fire Emblem is, or if you're not a hardcore fan, I've included references at the bottom.
And by the way,
SPOILER ALERT! FOR BOTH GAMES!


Kay, enjoy.

HEY, LOOK! I MADE A RAP BATTLE!

CORRIN!
VERSUS!
ROBIN!
BEGIN!

Corrin:
The premonitions you have won’t save you this time.
You’ll be begging for my mercy at my dragon shrine.
Just like Gunter at the bridge, I’ll knock you off the grid!
And you’re gonna fall harder than Emmeryn did!
When you meet your defeat, your amnesia will repeat.
You could never kick my ass cause you have no feet!
I’m a Dragon with a burning passion, I turn up the heat!
So go back to Ylisse and suck on some bear meat!
It’s your Fate to have Awakening discarded on a shelf,
Before me, your greatest foe was none other than yourself!
It’s not a question of If, it’s a matter of fact!
You’ll lose here today, and no destiny can change that!


Robin:
Yup, I have amnesia, you adopted cur.
I’m gonna try and forget how bad those raps of yours were!
I’m the most well-versed rapper that’s under the sun.
You call that rapping? No, here’s how it’s done!
Why’d you ambition to fight against the tactician magician?
You’ll be wishin’ you were fishin’ for easier competition!
Now I’m bringing the Thunder, shocking you like Thoron!
Come in, beat you, crush your towers like with Sauron!
Don’t try to stand up to me with two left feet.
I’ll come and burn you harder than a wyvern in heat!
I’m a matchmaker, too, with exceptional class.
And so Corrin, you may now kiss my ass.


Corrin:
I am now free from my citadel with more skills than you could dream of
I was forced to train my ass off, now I’m like a second Grima!
I’ll tear through your body quicker than some seaweed in a store.
I thought MY father was controlling. ...And then I met yours!
Your daddy found some bitch and did the No-no Cha-cha.
You were raised to be a puppet and to kill a Naga!
But you failed him, like how you failed at picking your lines.
Then you killed him, like I did to this battle with my rhymes!
Stepping in a Prince’s territory is an act of war!
You will die here today, as the son of a whore!
This is my verse, My Castle, my win, and my game!
Do you not accept my judgement? Well, your outcome’s still the same!


Robin:
This “win” that you claim is as obscure as your release date!
I’d paint a picture of your future, but it wouldn’t look great.
Everything you’ve said to me was just a mere taunt!
You bitch, my hobby’s killing dragons whenever I want!
Your sibs have always lost you and your family’s a fake.
Your birth was a mere accident, ‘cause my game took the cake!
Since you invite friends to your room to make pornos all the time,
Unsheath your sword, Dragon Warrior, and grind for some Slime!
Screw your US release, I’ll just come over and seize.
‘Cause you ripped off a Narnia book, and made it Japanese!
Chrom, get Falchion. Make sure it’s well gripped,
Because this little dragon just got his scales tipped!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
I HAVE NO IDEA!
BUT I MADE A RAP BATTLE!

Okay, here come the explanations.

Spoiler: 

Corrin:
The premonitions you have won’t help you this time.
Robin had premonitions about him killing Chrom, his best friend and the ruler of the kingdom of Ylisse. He used this foreknowledge to prevent that from happening in the future.
You’ll be begging for my mercy at my dragon shrine.
Players can go to offer sacrifices at a dragon shrine in Fates. Corrin is also a dragon.
Just like Gunter at the bridge, I’ll knock you off the grid!
Gunter, Corrin’s bodyguard, was knocked off a bridge by an evil ally. The FE games are known for having a traversable grid during gameplay.
And you’re gonna fall harder than Emmeryn did!
Robin created a plan to save Emmeryn, the sister of Chrom, from execution. That plan failed, and Emmeryn sacrificed herself by jumping off a cliff to her supposed death.
When you meet your defeat, your amnesia will repeat.
Robin is infamous for having severe amnesia.
You could never kick my ass cause you have no feet!
FE Awakening is known for the models of every character without feet. Nintendo underestimated the 3DS’ capabilities and left out the feet. Eventually they found out they could add feet, but it was too late.
I’m a Dragon with a burning passion, I turn up the heat!
Again, Corrin’s a dragon. Dragons breathe fire.
So go back to Ylisse and suck on some bear meat!
It’s revealed Robin’s favorite meat is… from a bear. A bear is also a big muscled hairy man in gay culture, and their meat is… well, you get the point.
It’s your Fate to have Awakening discarded on a shelf,
Corrin’s game is FE Fates. Robin’s is FE Awakening.
Before me, your greatest foe was none other than yourself!
Robin’s double is the final boss. If Corrin’s better than the final boss, he’s pretty tough.
It’s not a question of If, it’s a matter of fact!
In Japan, Corrin’s game is called Fire Emblem: If.
You’ll lose here today, and no destiny can change that!
One of the first lines of dialogue in Awakening is Chrom telling Robin, “This is it! Our final battle! You’re one of us, Robin, and no destiny can change that!”




Robin:
Yup, I have amnesia, you adopted cur.
Again, Robin has amnesia. Corrin is adopted… but he doesn’t know that till he’s grown up.
I’m gonna try and forget how bad those raps of yours were!
Hopefully his amnesia will have a nice effect this time.
I’m the most well-versed rapper that’s under the sun.
Making a pun with verse, meaning he’s experienced and this is an actual music verse.
You call that rapping? No, here’s how it’s done!
“Here’s how it’s done!” is one of Robin’s four Critical Quotes.
Why’d you ambition to fight against the tactician magician?
“The tactician magician” is the nickname given to Robin while fighting in the Boxing Ring stage in Smash 4.
You’ll be wishin’ you were fishin’ for easier competition!
Maybe Robin’s not as easy to beat as Corrin would have hoped?
Now I’m bringing the Thunder, shocking you like Thoron!
“Robin brings the Thunder!” is Robin’s tagline for Smash 4 to introduce him. Thunder and Thoron are electric spells, with Thoron being the strongest.
Come in, beat you, crush your towers like with Sauron!
In Fates, other players can enter Corrin’s castle and wreck the buildings he built up. Robin’s saying how he’ll defeat Corrin by entering his game (which he can actually do IRL) and tear down his buildings like with Sauron, the bad guy from Lord of the Rings. In Lord of the Rings, Sauron was defeated by troops entering and disposing the Ring, resulting in Sauron’s tower breaking.
Don’t try to stand up to me with two left feet.
Robin may have no feet, but ironically, the female Corrin’s official art has two left feet as a mistake. This was eventually fixed.
I’ll come and burn you harder than a wyvern in heat!
In Robin and Chrom’s support conversations, Chrom admits and apologizes for coming onto Robin “like a wyvern in heat”. Wyverns also spit fire.
I’m a matchmaker, too, with exceptional class.
Robin is responsible for marrying people in the entire army. No, really. It’s ALL him. Pun on class, not meaning his awesomeness, but his class, the Tactician class, is only available to him and his kin.
And so Corrin, you may now kiss my ass.
When getting married, the priest traditionally says “You may now kiss the bride” to the groom. Robin’s a matchmaker, so he can say this.


Corrin:
I am now free from my citadel with more skills than you could dream of
Corrin was kept in a citadel to do nothing but train. Pun on skills, not just saying he has more ability, but the FE games have Skills for each person. Robin can have at max 5 at a time, while Corrin can have at max 6.
I was forced to train my ass off, now I’m like a second Grima!
Grima’s the big bad dragon ready to destroy the world in Awakening.
I’ll tear through your body quicker than some seaweed in a store.
Robin bought some fiber-enriched seaweed and decided to eat a whole bunch of it in one time. ...It didn’t go well.
I thought MY father was controlling. ...And then I met yours!
Corrin’s adopted dad, Garon, is mean and has an iron fist over everything. Robin’s dad, Validar, can actually mind-control Robin to do his bidding.
Your daddy found some bitch and did the No-no Cha-cha.
This is true. The No-no Cha-cha is another way to say the Woohoo dance, I guess.
You were raised to be a puppet and to kill a Naga!
This is also true. Robin was to be born to be a vessel for Grima and to kill the good dragon, Naga.
But you failed him, like how you failed at picking your lines.
Robin didn’t do this, but actually killed Grima instead, failing his father’s expectations.
Then you killed him, like I did to this battle with my rhymes!
Then Robin killed his father in a duel. Twice, if you count the part in his premonitions.
Stepping in a Prince’s territory is an act of war!
Again, Robin can enter into Corrin’s personal castle IRL via his amiibo.
You will die here today, as the son of a whore!
Referring back, this is one of the theories players have. Robin’s mom may or may not have been a prostitute.
This is my verse, My Castle, my win, and my game!
Corrin’s castle is lovingly named, officially, My Castle.
Do you not accept my judgement? Well, your outcome’s still the same!
At one point, Chrom’s daughter Lucina wants to kill Robin for some matter. The textbox reads, “Accept Lucina’s Judgement?” Many similar decisions, including this one, have the same outcome, despite Robin picking either Yes or No. Back to Lucina’s judgement, the scene always ends with Lucina sparing Robin. For Corrin… that might not be the case.


Robin:
This “win” that you claim is as obscure as your release date!
Japan’s version of the game was released June 25th, 2015. For the US, they say “2016”. ...When? No one knows.
I’d paint a picture of your future, but it wouldn’t look great.
Double meaning here. In a support conversation, Robin is revealed to be a poor painter. Robin is also saying Corrin’s future isn’t so good.
Everything you’ve said to me was just a mere taunt!
Robin rarely seems to falter against his enemies, and Corrin is no different.
You bitch, my hobby’s killing dragons whenever I want!
After beating the game, the game resets to the time before the final battle, where Robin gets to kill the dragon Grima. Literally, he can kill dragons whenever he wants to.
Your sibs have always lost you and your family’s a fake.
Corrin’s blood siblings lost him since he was little, because Corrin was kidnapped. His foster siblings loved him, and he loved them back. He grew up only to find his family was fake.
Your birth was a mere accident, ‘cause my game took the cake!
Awakening was initially the last FE game. However, since it got so much critical acclaim, they decided to make Fates.
Since you invite friends to your room to make pornos all the time,
Corrin can invite his siblings and fellow soldiers into his room and “build interactions” with them by touching them on the face. You can also strip characters down to their underwear and… interact with them? Either way, they will say things like “Not now, Master Corrin… what if someone sees…?” That quote is from his butler.
Unsheath your sword, Dragon Warrior, and grind for some Slime!
Corrin carries a sword. He’s also a dragon. Dragon Warrior/Dragon Quest is another game that has enemies called Slimes. Grinding for slime in this sense means… the obvious.
Screw your US release, I’ll just come over and seize.
Robin’s taking a big risk, battling Corrin before his US release. Pun on overseas. Robin has gone overseas to the US already, and he actually went across an ocean in Awakening to kill some bad guy. Seizing is a popular FE command to finish a level.
‘Cause you ripped off a Narnia book, and made it Japanese!
In the Narnia book The Horse and his Boy, a young boy from a foreign country is taken to another country where he finds out he’s actually the royal of another country. At birth, he was kidnapped from his home and taken to another country, just like Corrin. And get this… the protagonist in that Narnia book… his name is Corin.
Chrom, get Falchion. Make sure it’s well gripped,
Chrom is Robin’s best friend, and he wields the legendary sword Falchion, which does critical damage on dragons and wyverns. Corrin, again, happens to be a dragon.
Because this little dragon just got his scales tipped!
“Time to tip the scales!” might just be Robin’s most famous line EVER. It’s also one of his Critical Quotes. Also, there’s a pun here, as dragons are covered in scales. ...It’s an epic end line if you’re a big FE fan.

So. ...How did I do? :D

[Turtlesauce]

I'd love to see Sain and Kent in this

[Klonoa]

I'd love to see Sain and Kent in this

HEEEEEY, LOOK! I MADE A RAP BATTLE!
SAIN AND KENT
VERSUS!
SULLY AND STAHL!

(Dude, another Fire Emblem one? Get a life.)

BEGIN!

Sully is Red
Stahl is Green
Kent is Blue
Sain is Black


Sully and Stahl


With raps sharper than an Eagler’s talons in the skies,
I’ll gladly send these arche-typos down to their demise.
They’ll never be Great Knights; they should check their status.
Or I’ll shove their Blazing Sword and burn their small little asses!
They disobeyed-! (I’ll have them slayed!) ...the orders of their captain.
They’ll break my heart--! (Tear them apart!) ...with their sucky rapping.
May I have the pleasure of your head? ‘Cause I’ll be Caelin you all!
And make Shakespeare’s King Lear think you’re awful to a fault!
The green one’s sane, but strange. He flirts?! I’ll give him what for!
And call me a Russian leader; I’m ruling with an Iron Sword!
Where should we stab ‘em, Stahl? Everywhere. That’s great advice!
Now let’s do the impossible and kill them twice!


Sain and Kent


Hey Kent? Tell me please, why’s this dweeb and this plebe
beefing incessantly with the two knights of Elibe?
They want to screw with us, Sain, like a young Dr. Huxtable.
You go destroy that tomboy. I’ll uproot this vegetable.
If anyone thinks I’ll hold back for this lady, they’re mistaken.
I mean, I’d dis my counterpart, but that Stahl’s already taken...
You’re no damsel; you’re a monster! Hardly worthy of seduction.
Flip you the bird, then drop you like a plane in the Hudson!
You hungry for more, Stahl? Let me serve you with this rap.
Your verse, like your hair, should be cut short. (Oh snap!)
Too bad you can’t brush that off, ‘cause your resistance is… yuck.
And there’s nothing special with you. Save for how your raps suck.


Sully
Was that rapping a joke? It just hastened your decline.
And me putting my boot in your face is the punchline.


Sain
Your curses don’t deter me! In fact, they’re bloody dismal!
And those raps you cooked up were disgustingly abysmal...


Stahl
You remind me of fondue: incoherent and cheesy.
We’re the vicious Bull and Panther! You’re… Mario and Luigi.


Kent
Your Iron Sword’s got nothing on my raps and Lance of steel,
Sucks this isn’t Pokemon. ‘Cause you need a Burn Heal.


Sully and Stahl


Those raps were a wash. Worse than mine; I’m appalled!
I’ll never honor you again! ...Unless you run into a wall.
Let’s kill ’em now, after all, they’re dying to see the Light.
But like FnaF 4, once they see red, it’s knighty-knight!


Sain and Kent


You Kent beat us! Aye, you must be inSain.
If you’re not Abel to fight, then you should be slain!
Go back to herding your sheep, ‘cause you talk a lot of bull.
Or else your legacy will be missing from the credits roll!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
I HAVE NO IDEA!
BUT I MADE A RAP BATTLE!

Reference Guide!

Spoiler: 

Sully and Stahl


With raps sharper than an Eagler’s talons in the skies,
Eagle talons are sharper. Eagler is the name of Sain and Kent’s boss.
I’ll gladly send these arche-typos down to their demise.
In several Fire Emblem games, there are characters that follow the same models and stats, known as archetypes. Having two knights, red and green, are a staple of the series. Sully and Stahl follow this archetype, but Sain and Kent are the only knights whose stats are completely reversed, thus being typos.
They’ll never be Great Knights; they should check their status.
While Sully and Stahl can promote to either Great Knights or Paladins, Sain and Kent can only promote to Paladins.
Or I’ll shove their Blazing Sword and burn their small little asses!
Blazing Sword is the Japanese name for their game. Also, fire and burning? Hahaha….
They disobeyed-! (I’ll have them slayed!) ...the orders of their captain.
The ruler, Lundgren, told Sain and Kent to capture a girl named Lyn. ...They ended up helping her.
They’ll break my heart--! (Tear them apart!) ...with their sucky rapping.
Notice the difference between Sully and Stahl. Sully is wilder while Stahl is mellow. This is the opposite with Sain and Kent.
May I have the pleasure of your head? ‘Cause I’ll be Caelin you all!
Sain’s introduction has him saying “May I have the pleasure of your name? Or better yet, your company?”. Caelin is a pun on killin’. Caelin is the region where Lyn should rule.
And make Shakespeare’s King Lear think you’re awful to a fault!
Kent shares his name with King Lear’s subordinate. Like Shakespeare’s Kent, he’s incredibly loyal. Kent’s description says he’s “virtuous to a fault”.
The green one’s sane, but strange. He flirts?! I’ll give him what for!
If you don’t get the forum reference, you need a time out. Also, Sane is a big flirter, and Sully despises these sorts of people.
And call me a Russian leader; I’m ruling with an Iron Sword!
Stalin was said to rule with an iron fist. There are no iron fists, but there are Iron Swords. Stalin also sounds like “Stahl” in the beginning.
Where should we stab ‘em, Stahl? Everywhere. That’s great advice!
One of Sully’s critical quotes is “Where should I stab ya?!”.
Now let’s do the impossible and kill them twice!
Another of Sully’s crit quotes is “I’ll kill you twice!”. However, once you die in Fire Emblem, especially in S+K’s game, you don’t come back. Sully’s going to murder them more times than once, it seems.


Sain and Kent


Hey Kent? Tell me please, why’s this dweeb and this plebe
beefing incessantly with the two knights of Elibe?
Elibe is the continent where Sain and Kent are from.
They want to screw with us, Sain, like a young Dr. Huxtable.
Bill Cosby played Dr. Huxtable in a popular TV show. He has admitted in 2015 to seducing and having sexual encounters with women in his younger days.
You go destroy that tomboy. I’ll uproot this vegetable.
Sully is a massive tomboy-ish character. Stahl’s messy green hair has, at one point, made enemies confuse his head for a vegetable.
If anyone thinks I’ll hold back for this lady, they’re mistaken.
Sain is a skirt-chaser, but he doesn’t seem like he wants to hold back for Sully.
I mean, I’d dis my counterpart, but that Stahl’s already taken…
Pun with Stahl’s name with saying how a bathroom stall was already taken.
You’re no damsel; you’re a monster! Hardly worthy of seduction.
Sully is also the name of a big blue monster in Monster’s Inc. by Pixar.
Flip you the bird, then drop you like a plane in the Hudson!
In 2009, some birds flew into a plane turbine, causing it to make an emergency landing in New York’s Hudson River. The pilot of the plane was Captain Sully.
You hungry for more, Stahl? Let me serve you with this rap.
Stahl’s running gag, or one of them, is that he is always hungry. Kent makes a pun saying how he’ll serve Stahl some food, (a wrap) and he’ll school Stahl with his rap.
Your verse, like your hair, should be cut short. (Oh snap!)
Stahl’s massive cowlick is another of his running gags. He doesn’t really like it.
Too bad you can’t brush that off, ‘cause your resistance is… yuck.
Pun on brush, as in hairbrushes. Also, Stahl’s resistance is incredibly low, which is why he can’t brush the disses off.
And there’s nothing special with you. Save for how your raps suck.
Stahl’s biggest problem is how he is incredibly average among all the fighters. Nothing about him stands out, except for, according to Kent, how he sucks at rapping.


Sully
Was that rapping a joke? It just hastened your decline.
And me putting my boot in your face is the punchline.
In Sully’s introduction, she encounters someone trying to flirt with her. She responds with “I get it. This is a joke. And when I put my boot through your face, that’s the punchline.”


Sain
Your curses don’t deter me! In fact, they’re bloody dismal!
And those raps you cooked up were disgustingly abysmal…
Sully is known for cursing like a sailor. Also, her cooking skills are terrible, and she’ll make anyone sick if she does. Her description has her as “The last one you want cooking”.


Stahl
You remind me of fondue: incoherent and cheesy.
We’re the vicious Bull and Panther! You’re… Mario and Luigi.
Fondue is a dish made with cheese that oozes out like creamy molasses. Cain and Abel, the original red and green knights that started the archetype, were known as the Bull and Panther. Stahl compares Sain and Kent instead to Mario and Luigi.


Kent
Your Iron Sword’s got nothing on my raps and Lance of steel,
Sucks this isn’t Pokemon. ‘Cause you need a Burn Heal.
Countering Stahl’s declaration of being like Stalin with an Iron Sword, Kent has a Steel Lance. Lances beat Swords in the Fire Emblem games, and Lance is also the name of one of the knights from FE6. Stahl also makes medicine, but he’ll need a Burn Heal from Pokemon to defend against Kent’s disses.


Sully and Stahl


Those raps were a wash. Worse than mine; I’m appalled!
In addition to cooking, Sully’s washing skills are less than satisfactory.
I’ll never honor you again! ...Unless you run into a wall.
Stahl’s confession to the Avatar upon getting married is “My lady, I may never take my eyes off of you again! ...Unless I run into a wall.”
Let’s kill ’em now, after all, they’re dying to see the Light.
“Seeing the light” means dying. Dying to do something means really wanting to do it. Light is also the name of the Final Level in Sain and Kent’s game. Of course Sain and Kent want to see the Light, because they want to beat the game.
But like FNaF 4, once they see red, it’s knighty-knight!
In Five Nights at Freddy’s 4, the death sequence involves the screen suddenly becoming a bloody red. Since Sully is red, she’s saying once Sain and Kent see her, it’s the death of them. Also, puns on night.


Sain and Kent


You Kent beat us! Aye, you must be inSain.
Puns on their names.
If you’re not Abel to fight, then you should be slain!
Abel, again was one of the original knights. But in the Bible, a character, Abel, was slain by his brother. What’s his brother’s name? Cain.
Go back to herding your sheep, ‘cause you talk a lot of bull.
Sully and Stahl are members of the Shepherds, and Sain and Kent use parallelism to say how they talk a lot of junk, or bull.
Or else your legacy will be missing from the credits roll!
If they die, Sully and Stahl will have no legacy whatsoever when the credits roll at the end of Awakening.

So how did I do? :D

[Mike Hat]

Hmm. I think I ever so slightly preferred Robin vs. Corrin, but I definitely, definitely still liked this one (and I'm biased cuz I know more about Robin so :V)

I think I liked Sully and Stahl more. Just by a little bit though.

[Poles]

Not big on Fire Emblem but that was really good : D

[Turtlesauce]

Dayum, this is was great.

Funny, clever, well rounded.

I love reading these

[YellowNerd]

Ha! Amazing work : D