EPIC RAP BATTLES OF UH
RADIOHEAD
VERSUS
THE BEATLES
BEGIN!
Radiohead:
You don’t belong here, so we’ll put you in your right place.
Raps sweet as Pablo Honey, let’s give you all a little taste.
Spitting sick on this mic like with myxomatosis.
Blow your mind out and scatter your brains like you’re driving a Lotus.
You better run for your life, Paul, because our band’s running amok.
You might as well just give up, Ghost, you’re out of your little luck.
Don’t step to us, John, we’ll stomp you out 15 times with our old brown shoes
We’re sure you wish you were bulletproof with all of the shots fired at you.
George, we’ll let you down and leave you flat, leave us and don’t bother.
Anyone can play guitar, but ours blows this horse out of the water.
(How’d these guys make their millions.) Don’t ask me why, I don’t know.
Do yourselves a favour, pack your bags, and Rin-go home.
The Beatles:
*beat stops abruptly*
Well then. Now, who’s going first?
Radiohead:
*beat starts again*
Oh come on, you suckers aren’t even bloody prepared.
We’re mopping the floor up with your Hitler hair.
(Oh.) We can find better things to do, let’s leave these pussies alone.
And with that, we’re done burning you losers, (these bluebirds have flown.)
The Beatles:
*beat stops again*
Well, would you look at that, our rap opponents walked out on us! We should’ve been able to beat those youngins easily!
Did you really have to do that, John? Why didn’t you just go ahead and rap whatever came to your mind, and let us sort things out as we went?
Because you’re a fuckin’ cunt, Paul. Plain and simple.
Whoa John, was that necessary?
Nope, but neither is putting one of your shitty songs on our records.
Come on guys, we can work this out!..
Get it?.. Like the song we made? We Can Work It Out?
That was awful, Ringo.
Well, even though John just insulted me out of the blue, I have to agree with him.
Well… grah!
*Beat starts back up*
Ringo Starr:
Awful? I’m the one thing telling you apart from One Direction!
I rap naturally on tracks like I was Thomas the Tank Engine!
From my hair to the feet down below my knees, ain’t I perfection?
Hell, feel free as a bird to make a film of your Erection!
Better than the Best, it’ll be easy for me to leave you all Beat!
I’m a beautiful boy, you’re bigger failures than the Apple Boutique!
I’m fly as wings, my raps will leave you unable to speak!
You’re nothing but junk, wankers, you’re just like fan mail to me!
Call me a hurricane, ‘cause I’m taking this battle by storm
Weed arrests are a huge no no, boys, let me show you the door!
Got the flow to rain on your parade, I’m miles above all the people,
Plant you like a tree, take your life away like an infestation of beetles!
I’ll own you here, there, anywhere, so why don’t we do it in the road?
From Penny Lane to Abbey, you can suck my long and winding chode!
I’m an All-Starr, I’m the greatest, always putting on a great show,
And if you don’t believe me, just ask your mothers, they should know!
John Lennon:
Ye fuckin’ twat, I never had my mother and I know you didn’t either!
Got a schnoz that big but still a jealous, tight a$$, mouth breather!
You’re over! I’ll be telling every one around how I won this war!
I’m colder! Shame this turkey’s album responses were lukewarm!
Call yourself the greatest? Whatever helps you sleep thru the night.
Left-wing raps’ll burn this Nicol back to the ground, (damn right!)
Throwing shade, your fake plastic love songs are silly!
So suck MY dick, Dick, let me take you down to Meat City!
Paul McCartney:
We shouldn’t have beef, give peace a chance and stop being jerks!
John Lennon:
I’ll leave you squealing like your wife singing and let you nap in the dirt!
Paul McCartney:
Paul MC ain’t C Moon with short-sighted hypocrite L7s!
Amazing, maybe, how people can follow a man with no direction!
Understand someday you need to try and get over yourself one of these days,
Losing like another day in your weekend, this rap game’s easy to play!
I’m on fire, I’m the man, I’d recommend you start running and don’t stop,
So make like a seagull and fly away, Lenny, or just suck my great cock!
Don’t even try, try, try, your raps are nothing, they belong in Nutopia!
Everybody out there’s ready for my next big hit: Pimp Slappin’ the Both of Ya!
And George, before you say what you feel, beware of this beautiful knight!
Don’t even care anymore, try me, I’d be thrilled to punch out your damn lights!
George Harrison:
My sweet lord, we aren’t going anywhere with fussing and debating,
Let’s come together and shatter the competition like our Ed Sullivan ratings!
Let this pass, we’ve been through thick and thin together all of these years
Give me peace on Earth, your arguing’s like One Direction to my ears!
One Direction:
Oh, I’m sorry, we can’t hear your criticism from the top of the charts!
Attack you and steal this battle like we stole teenage girls’ hearts!
We’re something great, you must be inZayn if you think you can match our Style!
You can’t stand this Payne, we spit flow on this mic just like the Niall!
Oh, and speaking of birds, we’ll give you that and not take it back!
You’ve never loved your stomach or your thighs, because you’re all FAT!
We’ll light you up like we light up the world, send you leaving in one direction!
That’s right, we’ll send all ya’ll packin’ like Ringo in the White Album sessions!
You’re clearly outmatched, we’ve got, like, 20 fucking writers on our side!
We’ll steal your girls and have a bed-in with them, give em a ticket to ride!
Ya’ll talk about dick-suckin’ so much, why don’t you suck deez 1D Ds?
You dorks are clearly going to lose against the greatest band you’ve ever-
*Beat Stops*
The Beatles: no fak u
One Direction: :c what if we start dissing Radiohead, then?
The Beatles: no fak u
One Direction: D: ;-; *leaves*
The Beatles: *Four man high five*
Who Won?
Who’s Next? (even though I’m not sure if I’m taking suggestions. meh suggest anyway but I can’t promise anything ok)
You Decide!
Epic Rap Battles of UHHHHHHH