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Thread: Epic Rap Battles of... uh...

  1. #41
    Lohuydahutt's Avatar Senior Member
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    Bob Dole vs Bob Dylan, battle of midwestern Bobs

    2016 Republican Candidate Battle Royale (or Democrat Battle Royale if you want to make life easier xP)

    Spoiler: 
    My life story:
    Spoiler: 


    Spoiler: 

    I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)

  2. #42
    Tara Strong vs Mel Blanc

    Iconic female voice actress vs iconic voice actor...

    Or I might do this myself if you don't actually.
    Watch Magical Girl Raising Project. Just do it.

  3. #43
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    The Grinch vs. Shrek (children's bad guys turned good)
    Krampus vs. Jack Skellington (scary Christmas)
    Christmas Carol battle where Donald Trump is visited by ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future of your choice

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  4. #44
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    #bringitback? #suggestions?

  5. #45
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    Stevie Wonder vs Stevie Ray Vaughn vs Stevie Nicks :^)


    Who won?

    Spoiler: 
    Bill O'Reilly
    Hitler
    Abraham Lincoln
    Sarah Palin
    Kim Jong-il
    Beethoven
    Einstein
    Genghis Khan
    Bonaparte
    Benjamin Franklin
    Dumbledore
    Dr. Seuss
    Mr. T
    Columbus
    EpicLloyd
    Hitler
    Master Chief
    Wright Bros
    Elvis Presley
    Marilyn Monroe
    Steve Jobs
    Freddie Mercury
    Barack Obama
    Doc Brown
    Clint Eastwood
    Sherlock Holmes
    Moses
    Eve
    Gandhi
    Edison
    Babe Ruth
    Mozart
    Gorbachev
    Darth Vader
    Al Capone
    Joan of Arc
    Bob Ross
    Michael Jordan
    JP Morgan
    Rick Grimes
    Superman
    Stephen King
    Sir Isaac Newton
    William Wallace
    Artists
    Stay Puft
    Bonnie and Clyde
    Zeus
    Hannibal Lecter
    Oprah Winfrey
    Quentin Tarantino
    Lewis and Clark
    David Copperfield
    RoboCop
    Eastern Philosophers (Confucius)
    Julius Caesar
    Stan Lee
    Boba Fett
    JRR Tolkien
    Gordon Ramsay
    Frederick Douglass
    Sean Connery
    Bruce Banner
    Frederick the Great
    Donald Trump
    Charles Darwin
    Wonder Woman
    Tony Hawk
    Theodore Roosevelt
    EpicLLOYD

  6. #46
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SanicAtTheDisco View Post
    Stevie Wonder vs Stevie Ray Vaughn vs Stevie Nicks :^)
    I probably don't feel like using more ERB chars or like using chars I barely know like the other two rip D:

  7. #47
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Ghost Rider vs Eminem

    A grocery bag versus a ceiling-high stack of money vs a pear tree
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it

  8. #48
    Klonoa's Avatar Tao of Blue
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    A serious version of Qin Shi Huang Di vs Ronald Reagan.

    Juiz: You can quote me on this: Klonoa is my favorite son.

  9. #49
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    It’s time for the third installment of Paul Walker vs DICKS. This time, they face off in a serious rap battle. Read their first two battles here.
    Paul Walker vs DICKS 1
    Paul Walker vs DICKS 2

    Spoiler: 
    Beat:
    https://soundcloud.com/allrounda/ins...t-by-allrounda

    Epic Rap Battles of Uhhhhhhh…
    DICKS the Pikachu
    Versus
    Paul Walkerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    Begin!


    DICKS:
    You’re about to crash and burn, that’s your status condition
    Give tea bags until you sandbag in this verbal demolition
    I took your mom for a joy ride, which shouldn’t come as a shock
    Thunderclapped her all night, and only knocked off when my nuts locked
    As a star, you ain’t as shiny as the pacifier or the wrestler
    Took me thirty minutes to die, and I still developed more character
    You’re a post mortem philanthropist, helping vultures be paid
    Your career peaked at ya death, then they all took a Wiz on ya grave

    Paul Walker:
    Pee chews dicks, but don’t act a fool, this isn’t TJB
    You’re unequipped, go to school, takes no detective to see
    This gen’s James Dean v. inside joke’s joke from twenty thirteen
    Collected more sports cars than you had minutes slacking on screen
    We pack our movies with fury, your franchise panders to furries
    Beat you, smile, leave in a hurry, plot armor gives me no worries
    So bring your rodents and turkeys, I’ll leave you all running scared
    You can’t catch up to me, your team is no match for Team Flare

    DICKS:
    A furry joke? Is the dead horse going to come in as the next guy?
    I should have expected reused material, going off of your franchise
    You think you’re James Dean? No, cause that’s just obscene
    The only innovative thing you did was get killed by your own machine

    Paul Walker:
    You’ve got 122 games, they’re milking you like Miltank
    While I stole the show in seven movies and helped my family make bank
    I look like a model, you’re a fat dick with spam at the center
    Face it, you suck, DICKS, it’s no surprise Sam’s your mentor!

    Rob Ford:
    I came to kick ass and snort coco and I’m in love with the coco
    It’s two forgotten dead dildos against former mayor of Toronto
    Showering in champagne, so many prostitutes I can’t name
    Let’s get this on video, smoking you punks without shame
    Going through your verses was like chemo part two
    It was not very effective, it just made me more sick of you
    Pikachu, you stole my nickname from the last hooker I slept with
    Your raps are so bad they’re criminal, why the fuck was I arrested?
    And Paul, how drunk do you have to be to make a car explode?
    Had more need for speed than you, but kept my eyes on the road
    I’m the football coachin’, crack smokin’, Crazy Town runnin’ badass
    Not a fire or electric type of guy, but I’ll gladly go smoke some grass

    Who won?
    Who’s next?
    Epic Rap Battles of Uhhhhhhh….

  10. #50
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Reference Guide:
    Spoiler: 
    DICKS:
    You’re about to crash and burn, that’s your status condition
    1. Paul Walker died in a car crash. The car burst into flames, burning him.
    2. Burn is a status condition in Pokemon.
    3. Paul Walker’s current status is that he is burned, as he was cremated.

    Give tea bags until you sandbag in this verbal demolition
    1. DICKS wants to put his scrotum in Paul’s face since he’s DICKS. Tea bags are given in video games after a death. And DICKS is from a video game
    2. Sandbagging is a racing term for underperforming at an event.
    3. It's demolition, as in a demolition derby. Another car crash joke.
    4. I’m kind of comparing DICKS and Paul Walker and their competitive domains here.. Like video games vs racing, which are both controversially called sports.

    I took your mom for a joy ride, which shouldn’t come as a shock
    1. In both of the Paul Walker vs DICKS TJBs, DICKS is reliant on mom jokes. I thought it’d be funny to bring them into this battle as well.
    2. Joy Ride is a Paul Walker movie and a sex joke.
    3. Shock is a joke about Pikachu being an electric type Pokemon. This shouldn’t be a shock since DICKS has made his relationship with Paul’s mother clear since 2013.

    Thunderclapped her all night, and only knocked off when my nuts locked
    1. Thunderclap is a sex term.
    2. Knock off is a Pokemon move. It renders items unusable. Like DICKS’ nuts when he reached the point where he couldn’t ejaculate anymore.
    3. Nuts locked is a pun for nuzlocke. The original playthrough that DICKS is from was a nuzlocke.

    As a star, you ain’t as shiny as the pacifier or the wrestler
    1. “Star, you” is a pun. Staryu is a Pokemon.
    2. Shinies are a thing in Pokemon, hence the use of that term.
    3. The pacifier and the wrestler are Vin Diesel and the Rock, who are arguably more famous as stars of the Fast and Furious franchise than Paul Walker.
    4. He’s calling them by those names to make Paul look like shit. Like, “wow, he’s not as famous as the dude from the Pacifier or some dude from wrestling, and he’s a dedicated actor”.

    Took me thirty minutes to die, and I still developed more character
    1. I’m not sure exactly how long DICKS survived in Sam’s nuzlocke, but he lived a very short life. It was probably about 30 minutes.
    2. In his short life, he developed more character than Paul Walker did as Brian O’Conner in 7 movies. He’s calling the character bland and generic.
    3.This adds on to the previous line, as the implication is that the Rock and Vin Diesel have more interesting characters in the Fast and Furious franchise.

    You’re a post mortem philanthropist, helping vultures be paid
    1. Paul Walker was known for his work as a philanthropist. But DICKS is saying the real philanthropy came after Paul’s death.
    2. After Paul died, a lot of people were quick to capitalize on the death for profit. Like vultures do.
    3. “Vultures be” is a pun for the vulture Pokemon Vullaby. I’ve always imagined DICKS with a strong Boston accent in the TJBs so that plays into this one.

    Your career peaked at ya death, then they all took a Wiz on ya grave
    1. Peaked at ya is a Pikachu pun.
    2. Paul Walker’s fame definitely sky-rocketed after his early death.
    3. This plays into the last line by giving an example of someone who profited off of the death. Charlie Puth and Wiz Khalifa wrote “See You Again”, a tribute to Paul Walker which earned them tons of money.
    4. Wiz on your grave is a pee joke. DICKS is obviously no stranger to pee, just look at his name. Plus, his first line in a TJB was “suck on me you cup of pee”.
    5. DICKS is essentially mocking how Paul’s death was exploited for personal profit.


    Paul Walker:
    Pee chews dicks, but don’t act a fool, this isn’t TJB
    1. Pee chews is a Pichu pun.
    2. The “dicks” is a joke about DICKS’ name.
    3. That one forum meme about stuff eating dicks.
    4. Paul is discrediting DICKS’ entire last verse by letting him know they aren’t in TJB, or Terrible Joke Battles, anymore. These two have had two Terrible Joke Battles where they fooled around, but now there’s none of that.
    5. Act a Fool is a song Ludacris did for 2 Fast 2 Furious, which was nominated for a Grammy. Paul appears in the music video.
    6. Paul is calling DICKS a fool for trashing Wiz Khalifa for making a tribute to him. He gives an example of a rap song he was a part of to show that he’d approve of Wiz’s song as well.

    You’re unequipped, go to school, takes no detective to see
    1. Paul Walker is saying DICKS is unprepared for this battle, as he is untrained, having only been an active Pokemon for 30 minutes.
    2. He’s telling DICKS to go to school with his trainer. There have been many schools for Pokemon trainers in the franchise for inexperienced trainers.
    3. Equipment is something trainers acquire in the Pokemon games. During the DICKS playthrough, Sam didn’t have the chance to get any, making DICKS unequipped.
    4. “It takes no detective to see” is a double reference. A much more obvious reference to the new Detective Pikachu movie, and one to Brian O’Conner’s original job in the Fast and Furious movies: an undercover LAPD detective.
    5. This plays off the last line because he’s telling DICKS it’s obvious he wasn’t prepared for a serious rap battle.
    6. Detective Pikachu received no formal training to become a detective. Meanwhile, Brian O’Conner went to Police Academy.

    This gen’s James Dean v. inside joke’s joke from twenty thirteen
    1. Paul Walker is comparing himself to another beloved actor who died early in a car crash, James Dean.
    2. Gen is a popular Pokemon term for generations of different Pokemon. But here, Paul is using it to describe himself as the modern James Dean.
    3. DICKS happened in 2013. It’s a fairly inside joke that not many people were there for, since it was Sam’s playthrough of a nuzlocke, and probably only became a forum meme since Sam is also a part of a forum inside joke.
    4. Paul is comparing his fame and success to DICKS’ relative obscurity-being a dead meme that was only popular because it was attached to another meme on an internet forum.

    Collected more sports cars than you had minutes slacking on screen
    1. Once again, not sure how long DICKS lasted but it was around 30 minutes. Paul Walker collected about 30 cars during his life.
    Slacking is a pun for Slaking, a Pokemon.
    2. Paul Walker is comparing his own performance on screen to DICKS’. In 30 minutes, DICKS died and became an inside joke. In Paul Walker’s enormous presence in the Fast and Furious movies specifically, he managed to perform well enough to be called the James Dean of this generation.

    We pack our movies with fury, your franchise panders to furries
    1. Comparing Fast and Furious (hence the fury) to Pokemon directly. Basically saying his franchise is badass while making fun of Pokemon fans.
    2. The mentioning of furries is a bit of a pun, since it sounds similar to fury.
    3. The furry joke is very clearly a joke about most Pokemon being humanoid animals.

    Beat you, smile, leave in a hurry, plot armor gives me no worries
    1. Basically what happened at the end of Furious 7, Paul Walker’s last movie. They beat some bad guys with some plot armor shenanigans, then Brian O’Conner retired, gave the camera a smile, and drove off into the sunset.
    2. Brian O’Conner lives on, as will Paul Walker after he makes quick work of DICKS and gives his signature smile.
    3. Plays off the last line.. “Hurry” and “fury” is an indirect saying “fast and furious”.
    4. Paul Walker will drive off fast after beating DICKS with no worries about a car crash since he has his character’s plot armor.

    So bring your rodents and turkeys, I’ll leave you all running scared
    1. Reducing Pokemon to “rodents and turkeys”.
    2. Basically challenging DICKS to bring his whole team, since Pokemon work in teams, but Paul would still win.
    3. Running Scared is a Paul Walker movie.

    You can’t catch up to me, your team’s no match for Team Flare
    1. Catch up is a joke about the Pokemon slogan: “gotta catch em all”.
    2. DICKS can’t catch up to Paul cuz he’s so fast. And furious.
    3. Paul is calling his own team Team Flare because he went out in flames after going way too fast in a car. Hence why DICKS can’t catch up.
    Team Flare is an antagonist team in Pokemon X and Y.
    4. Match is a pun.. Since matches from matchboxes make fire.
    5. Throwback to the first line of the battle, where DICKS mocked Paul’s death but now Paul uses it to his advantage.


    DICKS:
    A furry joke? Is the dead horse going to come in as the next guy?
    1. A furry joke about Pokemon is very easy to make.
    2. DICKS is saying making a furry joke about Pokemon is “beating a dead horse”, or doing something that’s been done before.
    3. Bringing animals up in a counter to the furry joke.
    4. In the original Paul Walker vs DICKS battles, there were followed up by tons and tons of other dead people.

    I should have expected reused material, going off of your franchise
    1. DICKS is countering Paul’s line about his franchise being for furries even further, saying Paul’s franchise is dependent on reused material.
    The Fast and Furious movies have been criticized for all being very similar movies.
    2. He’s saying he should have expected reused material, like that furry joke, since Paul’s franchise uses so much reused stuff.

    You think you’re James Dean? No, cause that’s just obscene
    1. DICKS is saying Paul Walker is no James Dean, a critically acclaimed actor who has been remembered through many generations.
    2. “No, cause” is a reference to a James Dean movie: “Rebel Without a Cause”. So no cause.
    3. DICKS calling something obscene is funny since his name is literally DICKS. Means more coming from him.

    The only innovative thing you did was get killed by your own machine
    1. DICKS is saying James Dean was an innovative actor while Paul Walker is just another Hollywood actor.
    2. Some inventors have been killed by their own machines. Paul Walker was killed by his own machine, as in his car.
    3. DICKS is saying Paul Walker brought nothing new to the table. The closest quality he had to an inventor/innovative person was getting killed by his machine.
    4. Also saying the only thing Paul Walker has in common with James Dean is them dying in a car crash, nothing to do with acting ability.


    Paul Walker:
    You’ve got 122 games, they’re milking you like Miltank
    1. Counter to DICKS’ line about Fast and Furious reusing material, saying Pokemon is milking their franchise even harder.
    2.There are 122 Pokemon games, which is pretty nuts.
    3. Miltank is a cow Pokemon. Apparently it gives five gallons of milk per day, which is a lot.

    While I stole the show in seven movies and helped my family make bank
    1. Paul Walker was only in seven Fast & Furious movies, where he was one of the main characters. Which is a lot less milk-y than Pokemon’s 122 games, many of which feature Pikachu.
    2. In Fast Five, the characters plan a heist for $100 million dollars. Hence “stealing” the show and “make bank”.
    3. Paul Walker made $25 million in his career, which was left to his family. His family also gained money from his death in other ways.
    4. Counter to DICKS’ earlier line about him helping “vultures” get paid.. Making it sound much more noble by pointing out how he supported his family.

    I look like a model, you’re a fat dick with spam at the center
    1. For reference, here’s a picture of Paul Walker and DICKS together circa 2013: http://i.imgur.com/fe80DTF.png
    2. Paul Walker was considered very attractive, and he was.
    3. DICKS is obviously very fat. This is a throwback to Paul Walker’s line in their first battle: “I'm a former millionnaire, you're a dick fatter than Notch”
    4. Reference to the forum section Spam Central, since DICKS is a spammy meme. His essence is spam.
    5. Paul is also saying DICKS eats a lot, so he has spam at the center, since spam is a food.

    Face it, you suck, DICKS, it’s no surprise Sam’s your mentor!
    1. It’s a fact, DICKS was trained by Sam, who sucks.
    2. Sam also got him killed.
    3. Reference to Rob Ford’s line in the first battle: “DICKS you suck”
    4. The only joke here is “you suck, DICKS” since it’s like “you suck dicks”. Otherwise, this is kind of a throwback to their origins in TJB with a low-effort line about Sam sucking.


    Rob Ford:
    I came to kick ass and smoke coco and I’m in love with the coco
    1. Reference to that famous movie line: “I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum and I'm all out of bubblegum”. He’s going up against a movie star so it makes sense to quote a movie.
    2. Rob Ford was known for his cocaine addiction.
    3. Reference to the famous rap song by O.T. Genasis “CoCo”, which has the line “I’m in love with the coco”, regarding cocaine.

    It’s two forgotten dead dildos against former mayor of Toronto
    1. When Paul and DICKS died, their popularity skyrocketed, but now it’s diminished. Meanwhile, Rob Ford was most popular before his death due to his controversies.
    2. Rob Ford held a position much higher than either of his opponents, acting as Toronto’s 64th mayor.
    3. He’s lumping them both together into “dildos” as an insult. Which is a reference to DICKS’ name.

    Showering in champagne, so many prostitutes I can’t name
    1. Rob Ford is boasting about his… luxurious lifestyle. He was an alcoholic who partied with prostitutes while acting as mayor of Toronto. He had a wife and kids, too.
    2. Reference to my boy Lohuydahutt’s Almost Fucking Anything Battle Royale, where Rob Ford bathed in a sea of champagne. Thought it’d be fun to reference that since DICKS is a forum thing.

    Let’s get this on video, smoking you punks without shame
    1. The public was made aware of Rob Ford’s cocaine addiction through a cell-phone video, which received a lot of media coverage.
    Rob Ford originally denied his addiction to the public, but admitted it after a while. He didn’t step down from office or anything after this became public knowledge. In fact, he only stopped being involved in politics after getting cancer.
    2. He has no shame about smoking these punks just like he had no shame about smoking crack, so yeah.

    Going through your verses was like chemo part two
    1. Rob Ford went through chemotherapy for his cancer, and excruciating process.

    It was not very effective, it just made me more sick of you
    1. Rob Ford’s chemotherapy was not effective, and he ended up dying of cancer in 2016.
    2. The side-effects of chemotherapy are that it makes you feel sick and nauseous.
    3. Obvious reference to Pokemon with “not very effective”.

    Pikachu, you stole my nickname from the last hooker I slept with
    1. Rob Ford made the last hooker he slept with call him DICKS. This isn’t really a reference to anything, it’s just an in-character thing to say.

    Your raps are so bad they’re criminal, why the fuck was I arrested?
    1. Rob Ford was arrested for DUI and marijuana possession in the 90s, but later claimed he forgot all about it.
    2. Rob Ford is saying DICKS has more reason to be locked up than himself, since DICKS had shitty raps while he doesn’t even know what he did.

    And Paul, how drunk do you have to be to make a car explode?
    1. Paul Walker wasn’t drunk during his car crash. In fact, he wasn’t even driving. But Rob Ford doesn’t know that.
    2. Rob Ford mentioned his DUI in the line right before this. Rob Ford was an alcoholic and even he never crashed so hard his car exploded.

    Had more need for speed than you, but kept my eyes on the road
    1. Speed is meth. Rob Ford was a known drug user who may or may not have done it.
    2. Reference to Need for Speed, a racing game series since Paul is involved with car racing.
    3. Expanding on Rob Ford’s line from their first TJB: “paul walker, i have a bigger need for speed”
    4. Rob Ford had a bigger need for speed than Paul, and yet Paul’s crash was directly because of how fast his car was going.
    5. Rob Ford never had a reported car crash.
    6. Rob Ford is continuing to diss Paul for crashing his car, even though it was driven by someone else. This is done to suit Rob Ford’s character of being crazy and not giving a shit.

    I’m the football coachin’, crack smokin’, Crazy Town runnin’ badass
    1. Rob Ford was a known football coach.
    2. He was also a known crack smoker, which he’s made very clear.
    3. A biography on Rob Ford’s career named Crazy Town, referring to Toronto, was released in 2013.

    Not a fire or electric type of guy, but I’ll gladly go smoke some grass
    1. Pikachu is obviously an electric type, and Paul Walker essentially declared himself a fire type at the end of his first verse. Both are Pokemon types. Rob Ford is calling himself a grass type, since he smokes it.
    2. Rob Ford is known for his marijuana usage, and it’s called grass as slang.

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