Wow, really? I would say your pun was inSane but it was really Strange.Originally Posted by rangernumberx
Frankly, I thought you were better than the West of those pun-makers.
Wow, really? I would say your pun was inSane but it was really Strange.
Frankly, I thought you were better than the West of those pun-makers.
Your character dies next.
So does yours in min..
Oh wait.
{ ͡• ͜ʖ ͡•}
So it was Ranger's Frank not SBS's Frank
I can dig it
Chapter 2
Log:
Sam Fisher put his good ole’ goggles on and approached the boot slowly. It appeared to be completely empty but… something strange was dripping in the water. He got closer, getting even more cautious. Eventually he was inside, but the dripping continued. He had his assault rifle ready for action as he looked up… he saw nothing for a moment but he could smell burnt rubber and what smelled like rotting corpses. SCP-106 dropped down from the “ceiling” quicker than Fisher could react. SCP-106 slowly corroded Sam’s suit while Sam tried to bash SCP-106’s head in with the butt of his assault rifle. This threat caused SCP-106 to hasten his job, but Sam Fisher still found himself getting dragged into SCP-106’s pocket dimension.
Sam Fisher wakes up, finding himself in what appears to be a dark and desolate set of hallways. The fact that it was dark proved to not be a problem however because of his good ole’ goggles. This was more his style anyway. He detected strange footsteps and decided to follow them, as cautiously as always. Somewhere in that dimension, SCP-106 watched Sam while chuckling. Sam heard the echos but could not pinpoint its origin. He found that the footprints stopped right before a wall. “This place is fucked up: confirmed.”
Meanwhile Ratchet was ready for a dramatic showdown against sorcerer Hitler. He dodged the incoming fireballs and responded with some blasts from the N60 Storm. He heard a vaguely familiar sounding laugh and suddenly there was nothing but a robe remaining. Huh, that wasn’t too hard. Ratchet then directed his attention to where he saw Lester and Skarmory fall.
Skarmory slowly got out of the water and weakly attempted to dry himself off. He heard fighting going on behind the weird iron fence, but he could not see what was going down. He did see what appeared to be a leftover piece of apple on the ground however. He promptly picked it up, and suddenly felt slightly rejuvenated. Since there wasn’t any immediate danger he decided it was a good time to use roost as well. As such he was back to full health. Completely ignoring the ruckus on the other side of the fence Skarmory preened his feathers. He could join in later.
It was dark… too dark… Lester started murmuring incoherently and rocked back and forth. He saw some things he could not forget when he hit his head… he saw a blocky man get his legs chopped off… he saw a massive explosion… he saw himself bashing some guys face in with a rock… some poor guy getting strangled by a tree… ghosts surrounding him… him befriending a dragon… and then his own death… he… felt it… he felt his skin burn… the pain… the agony… and then… nothing. Lester continued to rock back and forth… back and forth… murmuring something… back and forth… back and forth… pain… agony… and then… nothing...
Ratchet was standing directly outside the boot, listening to the faint murmurs coming from inside. He was somewhat creeped out but he managed to regain his composure. He blasted a hole in the boot using a charged shot of his Shock Blaster and walked inside after the smoke dissipated. He looked to the right, nothing. Looked to the left and he saw an awkward looking kid curled up into a ball. Completely ignoring his position, there was a crazed look in his eye. Those eyes caused Ratchet to hesitate for just a moment, but that was all that he needed. The mind known of the awkward loser known as Lester the Unlikely was gone. Something else has taken its place, and that something got up in a flash and just as quickly got Ratchet into a chokehold with his sword. Ratchet desperately tried to muscle his way out. Lester said nothing, the blood spoke for itself.
A cannon fires
FIRST DEATH
Ratchet-The Duck. “You’re never too young to have a Vietnam flashback” -Lester
“Well, that was a thing.” Said the spheal over the loudspeakers. He sounded a lot less bored than he was during his previous announcements.
Lester looked down on the corpse of… whatever the fuck Ratchet was, and started looting him without hesitation. There were no words coming out of his mouth. There was not a single coherent thought in his brain. He also had no idea how to use any of Ratchet’s weapons, but he had some spare time to figure it out.
Meanwhile on the other side of the fence the two biggest baddies of the stage were duking it out. Metal Sonic was quite literally running circles around Mecha-Hitler, the poor guy couldn’t even land a single bullet. Suddenly Metal Sonic used a homing attack, going directly for Hitler’s head. And while it would be logically concluded that that part would have broken easier, the damage was evenly distributed along his suit. Mecha-Hitler continued to fire bullets from his chain gun at Metal Sonic, which he promptly put a black shield up to deflect. We decided to finally translate something Hitler said so… it was as follows: “FUCK!” There, we gave Hitler dialogue. Happy? You better be bitches. Also while I the narrator was wasting your time with these sentences Metal Sonic totally just demolished Mecha-Hitler’s suit.
While the suit was a complete wreck, a lone figure we all know and love emerged from the scraps. He still had 2 chain guns because why the fuck not, and he was ready to fight.
And meanwhile, Mudcrab continues on doing nothing. Life is good for a crab, indeed it is. The vague thought that there was some fighting going on around him crossed his limited mind… but he didn’t pay any mind.
TUNE IN FOR CHAPTER 3 WHERE… EVEN MORE SHIT HAPPENS!
---
Kubby:
Axel’s chainguns were only moderately successful at hitting Trevor’s plane, and Trevor’s SMG was only moderately successful at harming Axel. Despite instruments not working anymore, Trevor still kept his plane in the air.
Aiden...did not like that...What could he do about this...He decided to restore the power to all the gauges. In fact, let’s give’em a little extra power. Let’s overclock them.
Trevor noticed that his instruments were working again. Weird. Oh. Now they’ve started going down again. In fact, they started burning just slightly, before erupting into a full blown fire. Pearce could not affect the plane’s controls directly, but the fire began gradually damaging all the controllers plane had, leaving Philips with less and less control over his machine. He made the plane a bit more level, but he knew he had to make a go for it.
The plane doors opened, and Trevor jumped off his vehicle, then opening his parachute.
Axel noticed the flaming plane coming straight at him. He quickly made a turn, and decided to run...drive for his life. Adrenaline was pumping He did not give a slightest damn about his feet getting slightly effed up by the terrain he was driving on. The plane hit the ground, and the resulting explosion managed to throw Axel out of control and into a building.
The impact damaged the Axel’s “choice” of vehicle. In fact, it weakened its constraints to a point where Axel managed to break free from his mobile prison.
-Holy fuck - he said to Trevor running towards him - than..- he was interrupted by a fist to the face.
-There is a fucker, who was causing something very wrong going with my plane. I HAVE NO FUCKING TIME FOR A MEAL ON WHEELS - Trevor pulled a hatchet out of his inventory, and smashed it straight into Axel’s shoulder, where it got stuck.
-Oh, so you want to fight. Alright. - Axel punched Philips back, and detached one of the chainguns out of his machine.
-Well, I’ll be fucked! - Trevor took cover (but not before getting shot in his ass), and pulled out a chaingun on his own. He took a quick mental sketch of his opponent. Axel was obviously more durable than a normal human. What weakspots did he have… - You are not very fucking nice - he mumbled to Axel, and began firing at Axel, aiming at his legs.
-Shit! - Axel noticed the bullets tearing his already effed up feet and lower legs. He went into one of the houses.
-You think I’m not prepared for that, huh? - Trevol pulled out a grenade, and was about to throw it and clear the house, when he heard the voice he wanted to hear the least:
-TREVOR! - he saw a woman in her late 60’s.
Trevor was speechless.
-Is that how you greet your mother? - that was Mrs Philips.
-I’m sorry, mom! - Trevor got to his knees - Forgive me! - but his mother only kicked him in the face.
-What is wrong with you, fighting with strangers instead of finding yourself a wife? Are you gay? Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted a gay son, instead of a failure like you…
Axel observed Trevor, who apparently was talking to himself instead of fighting. Time to make a kill, he thought, and limped with his
chaingun to Trevor’s cover.
Ridley vs Poo match was continuing. Ridley got too focused on destroying the arena, he got hit by poojectile, It has thrown him into a random house. He immediately got up, and was about to get back into a fight, when something seemed to have hit him. It seemed to be an arrow. He spotted a guy with a sword strapped to his back, and a bow in his hands. He mumbled something (which meant “Puny human, that’ll be a quick kill to go along with my record.”), and grabbed Wander before proceeding. He rose up in the air, and released the grip on the Colossus fighter.
Meanwhile, Wander already managed to grab Ridley. back. Sure. Ridley’s claws might be sharp, and he might be breathing plasma, as he was doing right then to try and erase Wander clinging on him, but you know what? Wander fought foes bigger than that. He grabbed Ridley’s tail as well, and climbed onto his torso. This was a high stakes fight, roughly as high as the altitude they were in.
Plasma Dragon, come back, fight ain’t over yet
One scat from me is less than you can take
The guy I was battling backed down like a hoe
So whoever might be near...fight me bro
….
Aaaaaa-
A roll of toilet paper got into Poo’s mouth. Two of them actually. One was thrown by Geralt, the other one was thrown by the unknown fighter.
Where’d you get that from,
This thing’ only in my home
The Poo looked at the Poo mountain in the distance
Ooooh, IIIIII seee-
And another two were thrown at him.
Ridley and Wander were still in the air. Wander was holding tight on the Space Dragon trying to throw him off. He pulled out his ancient sword, and thrusted it in Ridley’s torso. The sword could harm and kill anybody, and Ridley was no exception. However, it was not the only spot Wander had to attack. The head. The head was the major spot. They were flying for a while, when Ridley felt a little bit weak… Wonder where that came from. Surely has nothing to do with the fact he was covered in the Great Mighty Poo, and Wander just introduced it into Ridley’s bloodstream with his sword, does it?
Geralt and the fighter were still pushing the Poo away. Sure, it was a bit too big, and too strong-willed for Axii and the Yrden sign was kinda the opposite of what they wanted to do, but Aard was reasonably capable of pushing the GMP away. Poo was holding off on his own, however, spamming the more poojectiles the more pushed back he was.
The unknown fighter pointed at the gate .
-I’ll open that real quick. - and then Ridley, with Wander on him crashed into the gate, destroying it, and revealing the endless, GTA style ocean that surrounded the area. Ridley, weakened by the Poo (too big to be killed by it though), rose once more, to try and vaporise Wander with his breath, but then, the ancient sword went through his head. And again. And again. And again.
First death - Ridley
That’s when The Great Mighty Poo looked at the water and realised what was going on. Why he was pushed back towards the gate.
“No, I won’t get flushed by the likes of you
Now, taste some more of Great Mighty Poo
And began forming the biggest poojectile he could form.
Ranger:
Gordon walked over to the corpse of his first victim of this round, treading in the red mush that once was Frank’s head. He knelt down and patted the reported down, until he found what he was looking for: The shotgun. He unloaded it, and examined a cartridge. It looked like the same sort that would work with his, so he…ok, I’ll level with you. I have no idea where he keeps his ammo and weapons, so I’m just going to be vague and say he put it with the rest of his ammo. Ok? Ok. Well, after that, Gordon went on to explore the beach a bit more, with his pistol drawn. He came across a white wolf, who seemed to be sniffing at a black cuboid, filled with a purple energy. Gordon sniffed as well, and smelled a stench akin to a wood fuelled fire. Amaterasu turned her head, saw Gordon out of the corner of her eye and then leaped all the way around, snarling. Gordon pulled up his pistol, silently threatening Amaterasu to make the first move. She did, leaping the whole distance towards him. The scientist was knocked over, and desperately tried to keep the snapping jaw of his new opponent away from his neck. He hit her in the face with the butt of his pistol once his left hand had a firm position on her neck, and on the second strike she fell away. He pointed his gun, and unloaded half of the loaded ammunition at Amaterasu. Amaterasu used another celestial brush technique, and time slowed to a crawl. While this did affect her as well, it allowed enough time for her to just react to the shots fired at her, managing to get out of the way of all of them. Four real-life seconds later, time returned to it’s usual pace, and Freeman reloaded his pistol. This…was going to be tough.
Mega Man fired another three shots at Clown Man. However, he was anticipating this, and just stepped to the side to avoid them (“The curses of being a 2D scroller character, people” Ranger commentated to those listening). He lunged forward with the knife, as Mega Man jumped backwards, constantly looking at Joker, and fired yet another three shot burst. Two of these actually struck Joker, one in the face and one in the torso, revealing the horrible truth: They stung, nothing more. The mere shock of a face shot managed to get Joker to drop the knife, but this revelation was just better in the long run for him. “Oh, you’ve got me! Oh, the pain! Oh, let me show you how bullets should actually feel.” Halfway through the sentence he pulled out his revolver again, and fired. It clanged against Mega Man’s shoulder, causing a relatively decent dent. This, and the revelation of the uselessness of his standard mega blaster against non-mechanical beings, prompted the Blue Bomber to change weapons. While his head, arms, feet, and underwear-shaped-area remained blue, the rest of his body had turned white. He thrust forward his mega buster and, before Joker could come up with a retort, fired three small tornadoes in a forwards/upwards arc. The furthest one caught Joker, knocking him off his feet and the gun out of his hand, sending it up and away, clattering to the floor and discharging some five meters back once the tornado had disappeared. The Joker pulled out yet another gun, the King of Hearts. Mega Man jumped, and a large amount of the rapid fire shots went under the android, but two shots met their mark. Mega Man made a pained expression and moved back in the air involuntarily, but there was no other outwards signs of damage, for some reason. Joker threw the gun aside, and pulled out a small canister. Cackling, he sprayed a load of Joker Gas all over Mega Man. He just stood there, nonplussed. Tired of this going nowhere, he changed weapons. His blue parts turned brown, and the white parts turned yellow, as a metal blade appeared in his hand. Joker died the same way he did last time: A haunting grin slashed across his face.
Second Death: Joker
“You really shouldn’t try to taunt, and poison, a robot, you know? It just…doesn’t work.” Mega Man wasn’t listening, checking out his new capabilities. He turned entirely purple, with the exception of his chest plate being a lime green. He didn’t have time to test out his new weapon, as a roar came from the left. Bowletta had finally decided to make her presence known.
Jaina played Unstable Portal, causing a rift to appear behind her, causing massive amounts of wind to the environment and caused her clothes to billow dramatically, yet didn’t really affect anybody at all. A card slowly came out of this portal, and drifted down into Jaina’s hand. She played it, and as it started to take form the little creature ran up to Bishop, starting with a yell and ending with a persistent cough. Bishop casually raised his shotgun again and fired, leaving a gaping hole where it’s chest used to be. It looked down, looked back at Bishop, tried to give one final cough, and then the Leper Gnome exploded, showering Bishop with a thick, green, foul smelling substance. Jaina stood there, Sen’jin Shieldmasta standing in front of her, trying to figure out what to do. Her minion still had summoning sickness, so attacking wasn’t possible, she could cast a fireball, but she didn’t want to waste her coin just yet, and while it hurt a bit, the Leper Gnome’s deathrattle wouldn’t hold him for long…she looked around.
“Shieldmasta! Come on!” She said, and the two of them ran. Bishop wiped the goo away from his eyes, and saw a figure in blue head into the large tower in the town. He raised his weapon, but realised that it would be pointless to try and hit her.
“So, that’s how you want to play?” He traded his shotgun for a submachine gun. “Fine.” He walked forwards, always prepared to fire, and ultimately entered Pokemon Tower, which would witness at least one more death before the day is done.
---
Turtle:
???: Dion! Diooon!? Do you hear me?
Dion: Mom?
Dion opened his eyes. He found himself in a bright room, with nothing around him.
Polar: I’m not your mom.
Umby: You could be cuz you suck
Ludwig: OOOOOOOOOOOO
Dion: What the…
Dion heard the voices of his friends, and their faces were flashed before his eyes briefly.
Dion: Guys.. where are.. you?
Sam: We’re here. We’re always here.
Dion: Yeah.. I know. Am I.. dead?
YellowNerd: Nope. But Layton is.
Dion: Who?
YellowNerd: Layton, dude. You’re in a VGBR.
Dion: I’m.. what?
Adonis: Take a look.
A big screen popped up in front of Dion, revealing the VGBR arena. His body, the Meta Knight, was getting up. Dion, however, was not.
___________________________________
Deadpool: I THINK IT’S TIME TO OPEN UP ANOTHER CA-- UGH-- What the-- fuck.
Deadpool had problems finishing his sentence. He was impaled in the stomach by a certain pirate-assassin.
Good thing he had a regen factor.
Kenway dropped The Merc with a Mouth, then scouted the area for a next target.
A big mouthed guy who claims to be an executioner? Perfect.
Kenway smiled, gripping his pistol.
______________________________________
Draven stepped in the middle of the arena.
Draven: IS THERE ANYONE HERE WHO CAN FACE THE GLORIOUS EXECUTIONER?
Bard let out a melodic sigh.
Draven: … and Bard?
Draven held out his weapons, ready for a challenge. He heard some rustling behind him, and used Flash as fast as he could, teleporting 10 feet away from the attacking Kenway.
Draven: Didn’t your mom ever tell you not to sneak up on people?
Kenway: Didn’t your mom ever tell you to.. oh, wait..
Meep: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Draven screamed in rage, then hurled a blade towards Kenway, who dodged it nimbly.
Deadpool was gathering himself off of the floor behind Kenway.
Until Draven’s blade met his foot.
Deadpool: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Ouchies.
Kenway whipped out his wrist-gun, aiming for Draven’s head. He shot, but missed the headshot, hitting Draven in the chest. Bard immediately reacted, healing Draven’s wounds.
Kenway: Two against one? Not fair. For you!
Kenway jumped into a pack of monks and dissappeared.
Draven: WHERE DID HE GO?
Bard sighed melodiously.
__________________________________________________ _
Hecarim: GET OFF THE REAPER OF DEATH YOU FOOLISH sugary pack of love muffins!
Booker payed no attention to the schizophrenic pony deathlord’s cries, and mounted the Reaping Steed.
Booker: YEEE-HAAW
DeWitt, using his hookshot, steered Hecarim to the center of mass (Kenway, Bard, Draven). However, a mass of metal jumped in his face. It was Meta-Dion. But Dion’s face was no longer, just darkness.
Meta-Knight extended his Banhammer, and smacked DeWitt over the head, knocking him off Hecarim.
Dion: NO! Why am I fighting?! I cannot control this!
Booker fell to the ground, unconscious, as Meta Knight walked in for the kill.
__________________________________________________ _________
Hecarim did not stop, and was reaching high speeds with his Devastating Charge.
Draven: WHERE DID HE DISAPPEAR?
Kenway jumped from the group of monks onto Draven, jamming his hidden blade into Draven’s heart.
Bard looked to his right, and noticed Hecarim readying the one-shot kill and threw out his Tempered Fate ultimate.
xXxPussyfucker69xXx (Bard): OMG noob Draven watch out for my ulti u bronze
DeathLordNoobPwnerPL (Draven): kurwa STFU noob ur mom sucks my dick japierdole
Draven pushed Kenway aside, leaving the Tempered Fate to only hit Bard and himself, making them invincible.
Kenway: Is that supposed to help you against me?
Hecarim: EMBRACE THE MIGHT OF THE friendship and love!
In a flurry of rainbows and phantom riders, Hecarim passed through the invincible Draven and Bard, and slammed full speed into Kenway, blowing him to bits.
SECOND DEATH: Edward Kenway
Deadpool: Not even haystacks can save him now!
_____________________________________________
The final cage opened.
Bigby stepped out, and sniffed the air.
Bigby Wolf: Smells like death.
He dropped his cigarette to the ground, and stomped on it.
Deadpool: Are Bard and Draven finally friends? Will Booker get up before Meta-Ex-Dion bashes his brains in? Will Hecarim see a shrink? Does anyone read this? WILL I EVER FIND MY FUCKING LEG?
All that and more to be answer in the next episode of
TOTAL
DRAMA
VGBR!
Last edited by Kubby; 09-27-2015 at 05:26 AM.
Did you just..
I just want to disclaim: He was planned to die even before I made that comment. It's honestly entirely coincidental.
Spoilers mang
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
No booker
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