I'm uhhhhh glad that they uhhhhh hit the right target this time.
I'm uhhhhh glad that they uhhhhh hit the right target this time.
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
Well crap.
Originally Posted by Juiz
You're a stuttering communist
Oh yeah? Well uhhhhh you're stupid.
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
Oh ok, fair enough
Adapter better guard his soul with his life. XD I doubt Pinger's too happy with what happened to him.
Watch Magical Girl Raising Project. Just do it.
Bon Vivant of Violet
DA PINGA SLINGAS BACK BOYZ
mom said its my turn to have mod back
Chapter Nine: Where Turtle becomes M. Night Shyamalan
The Pinger Slinger was finishing his 4th doobie, when a familiar figure popped next to him.
???: Hey, Pingie, what's up?
Pinger Slinger: Jack Nicholson?
The Devil: Nah, buddy, it's me, the guy down under. El Diablo.
Pinger: You look like Jack Nicholson to me, mate.
The Devil: That's the form I take when I greet mortals. Here's the deal, buddy, you got the last evil soul on Earth, so don't fuck this up or we're both taking the trolley down-town.
Pinger blew a puff of smoke his way: Yeah, whatever, okay.
The Devil: Oh, hell, I have to do everything myself.
Devil Nicholson popped away.
Adapter morphed into an eagle and flew towards David.
Adapter: DAVID!
David: What?
Adapter: FREEDOM!.. ugh, I mean, you need to land, now!
David listened, and he landed with Moth, Hewitt and CRINN.
CRINN (woman voice): Thank you for your patience, I hope you had a nice flight, enjoy your stay!
Adapter: Where's Hallam?
Hewitt: Got diagnosed with Asshole-itis. Turns out it was terminal.
Adapter: I see.. Anyway I..
He forgot what he had to say.
Adapter: OH RIGHT, WE HAVE TO KILL THE PINGER SLINGER!
Moth: I thought he was uh... with us.
Adapter: Dude, he hasn't been here for 7 chapters.
David: What?
Adapter: I mean, for a long time. Hehe.
Hewitt: Why should we kill him?
Adapter: OH RIGHT. HE HAS THE LAST EVIL SOUL ON EARTH!
CRINN: Plot. Twist.
David: Hop on my back, I'll fly you back to the th-
???: Hold on for a bit, what's the rush, what's the rush?
From a puff of smoke, Jack Nicholson appeared.
The Devil: Look, friends, what would we do without a bit a evil in the world, huh?
David: We'd probably be better.
The Devil: Better schmetter. Oh, by the by, David, your mother says hi! From the DEEPEST PIT OF HELL!
David staggered back, and Hewitt took out a combat knife. He grabbed Nicholson by the neck, and slammed him to the ground with a Krav Maga move. Jack Devilson got up, pissed, but Hewitt stabbed him tossed into a tree.
The Devil: ENOUGH!
The Devil changed his shape into Roy Elghanayan.
Hewitt: M-M-Master?
Roy Devilghanayan: Come here, baby, lemme teach you how to 'Maga.
Hewitt grabbed him by the shoulders, but Roy tackled him in the gut. Hewitt then tried to use his lower body strength to get Roy to the ground, but Roy grabbed him by the legs, and knocked him down, as Hewitt smacked his head against a rock.
The Devil: One down, 4 to go.
Moth stepped (flew) up.
Mothbama: I uh... will not uh.. allow uh.. Lucifer in uh.. The United States of America.
Devil turned into Mitt Romney. Which was the same thing, basically.
Mitt Romney: Fuck you, Mothbama, you suck.
Mothbama: No, you suck.
Mitt Romney: That's not Mothchelle thought last night.
Mothbama: Why you little uh.. Republican piece of uh.. shit.
Mothbama sent waves of death to Romney, but the Devil morphed into a Lady Moth, and she dropped to the floor as the radiation hit her.
Mothbama couldn't control his urges, and rushed to her.
Mothbama: I'm sorry, baby, I really am.
Moth-Devil: Baby.. will you kiss me?..
Mothbama: Only if you don't tell Mothchelle baby..
Moth-Devil: So.. it's a.. deal?
Mothbama: Yeah, baby.
Devil (as he morphed into Nicholson): CHA-CHING!
A hole opened under Mothbama.
Devil: NEVER MAKE DEALS WITH THE DEVIL! NEVER!
A huge, demonic hand reached up and grabbed Mothbama.
Mothbama: Let me uh.. go, I am the uh.. President of the United States of Mothmerica, I uh.. AHH!
The demonic hand pulled Mothbama in, and the hole in the ground closed down.
Ninth Death: Moth of Death
The Adapter stepped up: Oh, so you can morph? Meet your match,
Bitch.
Adapter morphed into a bull, then charged The Devil, who morphed into a toreador and just OLE!'d the Adapter, who bulled past the Devil.
Adapter: Hrrrngh.. Alright..
Adapter turned into MC Water Fountain.
MC Water Fountain: YO YO YO
What up!
Man from down below!
You fucking suck!
I just came to say hello!
And suck my dick!
The Devil replied by turning into Eminem:
I AM WHITE!
I AM A FUCKING BUM!
I DO LIVE IN A TRAILER WITH MY MOM!
AND MY BOY FUTURE IS AN UNCLE TOM!
AND WINK DID FUCK MY GIRL!
BUT I'M STILL STANDING HERE SCREAMING FUCK THE FREE WORLD!
I don't wanna win, I'm outie
Tell these people something they don't know about me.
MC Water Fountain dropped on both knees: I got... rekt.. yo
Adapter morphed into a mouse, and scurried away.
A huge dragon leg stomped in front of the Devil.
"Leave my friends alone."
Devil Nicholson: Whoa, there, dragon boy, calm down!
David extended his scaly neck and grabbed the Devil in his mouth, piercing him with his teeth. The Devil poofed away and appeared in front of David.
Devil: Tsk-Tsk, you can't kill the Dev-
David slashed with his claw, and hit the Devil over the face, cutting deep.
Devil: Aah.. you little twerp.
David swooshed with his tail and knocked down the Devil, who was bleeding intensely.
The Devil then morphed into David's Mother.
Mother: David?.. It's.. you
David: STOP IT! I KNOW THIS IS ONE OF YOUR TRICKS!
Mother: David.. he.. let me see you..
David: What?.. You're..
Mother: Yes.. David.. I'm sorry.. there's something I haven't told you..
David transformed back into human, and grabbed his Mother.
Mother: You're.. you're.. A CHUMP!
The Devil turned Nicholson and stabbed David in the gut, then prepared another blow, but CRINN came to the rescue, and kicked the Devil with his robotic legs.
CRINN: Du-du-dudun!
CRINN unloaded his whole arsenal into the Devil, machine guns, rifles, bombs, you name it. Then, to top it off, released a card...
A soggy Kink Banana flopped onto the battlefield.
When the smoke cleared, the Devil was unscathed.
Devil: BULLETS CAN'T HURT ME YOU..
He saw the banana.
Devil: What the...
He burst out laughing, and he couldn't stop.
Devil: OH BOY HAHAHAHAH HE THREW A BANANA AT ME AHAHHAH OH JESUS CHRIST THAT WA-
He stopped.
Devil: NO! NO! I SAID IT DIDN'T I? NO! NOOOOOOOOOO
The clouds opened, and heavenly light came down upon the Devil, slowly disintegrating him.
Hewitt, the Adapter and CRINN went to David, who was heavily wounded.
David: Hey guys.. good job! I don't think I'll make it..
Hewitt: Hang in there, kid!
David: No.. I'm fine. I.. hey Mother.. you look beautiful.. Don't worry, I'm on my way to see you. I love you.
David closed his eyes and drew his final breath.
Tenth Death: David
Adapter: I don't know what to..
Hewitt: We go after Pinger Slinger. Too many good people died so this "CRUSADE" could be for nothing. Let's go.
The Pinger Slinger was sitting next to a tree, snorting coke.
Hewitt: You.
Pinger: Oh *sniff* heyhewittadaptercrinnwassuphaventseenyouinforevera reyouokareyoufinehowareyou?
Hewitt drew his pistol.
Hewitt: I'll be fine in a moment.
To be continued...
Bon Vivant of Violet
the pinger slinger is probably the greatest character of our times, he's a junkie who get superpowers from drugs, came back from the dead and blew smoke in the devil's face. fuckin legend
mom said its my turn to have mod back
I mean, generally when you make deals with the devil isn't it like, in exchange for your soul or something? I should uh... sue because that wasn't in the uh... contract.
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
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