OCBR: Crusade

[Kubby]

Then you need some random scrub telling all the magic electricity users "get back to work, all stars arena won't maintain itself.". Magically, so they want to leave the arena.

[Turtlesauce]

Nice banter guys.

First episode sometime today, stay tuned

[Lohuydahutt]

OCBR Analysis:

Constantly On Fire Guy: Well, he’s on fire. Hurray for fire. Inb4 he just happens to light a bush that my guy HAPPENED to be sleeping in on fire causing my guy to die first. That would be just dandy. But yeah, while I don’t think every contestant will actually be that threatened by fire (I mean, we have a dragon here) those that do will have a hard time, especially those that rely on close-quarters combat. Those who can fight from long range will probably have an easier time taking him down however. After all, even if he has “thick skin” that doesn’t automatically mean he’ll be immune to bullets and shit.

Brine “Salt Slice” III: Well, he’s a guy, with an energy sword. With enhanced senses, good physicality, and enhanced legs, he’s definitely not a pushover. But he doesn’t really have much that puts him ahead of the pack either. He’s not going to have an easy time with long range fighters either.

CRINN: Now this guy’s one of the most broken best contenders. Spider mech of death, fuck yeah. With those “high-teck metals” he’s probably going to be able to take a good amount of hits before he goes down, and he can definitely dish it out. He’s packed with some good conventional weapons and some… well, unconventional ones. The regular weapons speak for themselves, so let’s take a closer look at the Hearthstone ones shall we?

OK so we have the Ancotin BlasteriBer, which deals 3 damage to hard enemy. Not an easy enemy, just the hard ones. So I guess my moth is fucked ;n; but yeah, it could be interpreted that this thing can’t do shit to some of the weaker guys like our favorite junkie, so that could be funnnnn. Anuce Ene rams minions that get attacked. Which basically means that said minion will get double teamed by his own teammate… Best. Card. EVER! Band Srapon is… well, in this context probably kind of useless. Theoretically, if every OC in this royale is a “hero” then it literally can’t attack anybody. Unless someone brings their own minions I guess. Bane Korth’arz, well, destroying opponents weapons sounds ridiculously broken. Not really sure what “minion noxt to minion” means tho. Blacker Spork seems kind of counter productive, considering how the only minions would be the ones CRINN owns probably. Again, it said ALL minions. Blood Manos is… IDK, have fun with that one. Chomw Shamipe is a friendly minion. That’s nice I guess.

Dark Cill Mage is… it seems kind of counter-productive. Based off of the wording, it basically means CRINN becomes a minion but… what the fuck is he a minion of then? Who knowwwwwssssss. Echamace is… ummm… basically makes a minion attack CRINN? IDK mang. Flamewanker is the best one though, even though I have no idea how the fuck that effect is supposed to work. Fre Engensar doesn’t seem very productive either, but who am I to judge? Kink Banana seems VERY deadly tho. Maganarme ummm… makes minions disappear I think…? Murloc Giant is… OK. Attacks random enemies I’ll take it. But if it attacks a random enemy how can it attack the wrong enemy…? Oh well. Or is it just always wrong? xP

OK, IDK how Hearthstone works but if the description is to be believed, Rechate is kind of OP. After all, it only hurts a COPY OF YOUR TURN! Is this going to like, break the space-time continuum or something like that? Ridkerator is… something. Maybe that one damage randomly will like, attack a tree or something. The sheep is actually like, probably one of the most effective cards here, since it actually attacks the “hero” and shit xPPPPP Snake Tran is also… something. All minions have a mana crystal, good for them. I’m not sure how many Slemes there are on this field so Spectral Kndid, the perfect weapon against an apparently non-existent enemy. It’s amazing man. Spite Rager seems VERY useful indeed. Tree Trap ummmm… well, if I’m interpreting it correctly, this card literally would just destroy CRINN and replace it with a Purlot. And then the Purlot commits Sudoku when IT summons a minion. Wane Rostor also seems QUITE useful, in its power to like, not die. Amazing man.

But yeah, those cards COULD be formidable, but a good chunk of them will actually hurt CRINN far more than they help it. But whatever. Also it’s definitely one of the faster contestants, and has plenty of other bad ass shit. Overall the best chance at defeating this dude is his own cards.

David: Well, he goes hulk mode and turns into a dragon. When he’s a dragon he can do dragon-y stuff… He’s about as threatening as any other dragon, which is to say, he’s pretty fucking threatening. Because you know, it’s a fucking dragon. His personality might put him in some rough spots though.

The Adapter: Well, he’s probably one of the better guys at stealth, and his copy ability is certainly useful. Adapter is either going to die early and not really be able to do much, or become ridiculously overpowered with the abilities he accumulated. It could go either way really. If I had to bet, it's probably going to end up being the latter.

MC Water Fountain: well, he spits fire. So I guess that’s a decent threat. Honestly there’s a LOT of fire going around in this royale. Also I guess getting people high can be a useful tool. Unfortunately, considering how he is not dildnose, I highly doubt he’ll be able to do nearly as well as last time.

The Moth of DEATH: What’s more deadly than a moth that also happens to be a politician? Nothing. That’s what. This is also one of the more broken more powerful contenders. He’s likely not going to be perceived as a threat by most immediately, nor even perceived as an actual part of the fight. Also he has a decent chance of basically getting a minion, so that’s nice. His radiation attack has a good amount of lethal potential, and even if they don’t die from it, they’ll probably get like, cancer or something. His essence gives him pretty good durability that’ll shield him from most attacks with relative ease. Well, the first blow any way. Again he’s completely vulnerable while sleeping but I’d imagine a sleeping moth would not be easy to find. His telekinesis is a bit more situational but could be useful for stuff like disarming opponents and such. The airstrike has the potential to be pretty devastating as well, and it gives him a good long-range option. Unfortunately, airstrikes do take a bit of time so they might come short in a more immediate life or death situation. Also moth sex could distract him. Either way, do not underestimate Mothbama.

Al-Kemist: Well, he’s an alchemist. He’s good at both chemical and biological warfare, though the latter may not be as effective against non-humans. Stuff like the gas bomb could be particularly effective because of its capability to attack multiple people at once. And with his sword he’s no slouch at close range either. The time traveling aspect is a bit of a wildcard, it’ll be interesting to see how much of a factor that ends up being for the story. Definitely one of the characters with the higher potential all things considered.

Jack Hewitt: He’s a guy with a gun and he can like, shoot people. Also he’s good at stealth. While he does have some cool equipment there is not much that puts him that far above a normal well trained person. We’ll see how it goes.

The Pinger Slinger: Should’ve been Hot Gay Dad :c oh well, instead we got a random drug addict who’ll pop you in the gobber m8. We already have plenty of pyromaniacs around so those matches probably won’t end up being anything special. Don’t really expect this one to go too far to be honest.

Hallam Crow: oh hey survivor guy. He will surviveeeeeeeeeeeeeee, yeah, as long as he knows how to love he knows he’ll be aliveeeeeeeee. His bow and arrow along with the sword don’t really seem too different from the norm, though the projectile dagger could catch someone by surprise. The bolas could have interesting utility however. In the world of ridiculous minion wielding spider robots, dragons, and moths of death he may not seem to compare, but surviving’s his specialty. We’ll see how successful at not dying he is.

Abigail Jackson: Oh hey, another one who would seem completely weak and harmless at first but is actually kind of deadly. Hurray for the crazy girl axe murderer. However, while she may be good with the axe, it’s still a normal axe. Take that away and she’s basically just a psychotic little girl. From a character development perspective, she could be interesting, but from a combat perspective there isn’t that much going for her.

Pierre Forte: Fuck yeah Music Man. Whether he’s being completely quiet or as loud as possible, he’s definitely one of the more deadly dudes here. He’s also probably one of the better fighters when it comes to long range attacks. Not only does he have a wide radius of attack, but anybody within that radius is vulnerable. The metronome could also be potentially life saving, but as Sanic said it’s probably not going to come up too often.

Overall, there are some obvious favorites to win and some obvious weak links but I still think it has enough balance to be interesting without too much buffing or nerfing or anything. I’m interested to see how it goes.

[Moonjik]

Nigga dat analysis made me jizz(zzzz)

[Kubby]

The Adapter: Well, he’s probably one of the better guys at stealth, and his copy ability is certainly useful. Adapter is either going to die early and not really be able to do much, or become ridiculously overpowered with the abilities he accumulated. It could go either way really. If I had to bet, it's probably going to end up being the latter.

At least until he copies a Tree Trap. And a Purlot.

[Lohuydahutt]

At least until he copies a Tree Trap. And a Purlot.

True, true

[Juiz]

Great analysis

[Klonoa]

Looking at the cast of characters added after mine (because I was gone for a couple days), this is my reaction.

"Cool, cool, cool, cool, great, awesome, cool, nice, cool, David loves card games!, cool, nice" There are so many good characters here!

[Turtlesauce]

Chapter Zero: Crusaders

A group of people were gathered in a forest at noon.

Sir Teutorigos turned around.

Sir Teutorigos: Men, I hope you're ready for a -

What was behind him were not the crusaders he expected, but the weirdest bunch of people since that Scooby-Doo episode where they meet Johnny Bravo. Anyway.

The first person to really stand out was a guy. On fire. Constantly. His name? *sigh*

Constantly On-Fire Guy. Yes. Exactly.

Sir Teutorigos looked at him: I've met men with the fates of slaves, convicts, lunatics, but yours seems much gruesome.

Constantly On-Fire Guy: THANKS DUDE THAT HELPS.

Fire can't cure sarcasm.

Our Teutonic protagonist turned to the next person in his regiment. A 10 year old boy. That's half dragon. Who writes this shit?

David bowed, saluting Sir Teutorigos skeptically.

Sir Teutorigos: I know a man is as old as his heart. I sense a strong heart deep inside you.

David: Thank you!

But it was not David, it was.. another David?

Sir Teutorigos: Show yourself.

The Adapter morphed into Winston Churchill. Don't ask why.

The Adapter: Well then. How'd you know?

Sir Teutorigos: Your talent is extraordinary, but it won't be enough.

Abigail Jackson: Y'all talk too much!

Sir Teutorigos looked at the spoiled 12 year old girl wielding a battleaxe.

He was taught that if you didn't have anything good to say, you'd best move on.

So he moved on to the huge spider mech, the CRINN.

Sir Teutorigos: It never hurts to have a death machine around, ha ha!

CRINN: Futile.

MC Water Fountain squinted at Teutorigos: Sup.

He smiled creepily.

Sir Teutorgios squinted through his helmet.

A hand extended towards him. He looked up to see Brine the Third.

Brine: I look forward to fighting alongside you.

Sir Teutorigos laughed heartily: I see chivalry is not yet lost, I welcome you, Ser Brine!

Jack Hewitt smirked: Sorry to break the knightly romance, but punkhead over there is trying to sell meth to the 10 year old dragon boy.

The Pinger Slinger dropped the bag and stepped away from David: Nah mayne it wa'n't me, mate, chill!

Sir Teutorigos stuck his sword in the ground. He didn't even start and he already had enough of this shit.

Hallam Crow was sitting crouched next to a tree: I wouldn't worry much, if I were you. Nature takes its course, the weak shall fall.

Sir Teutorigos: Hmph. We control our own nature, Ser Hallam.

Pierre Forte: Aah, nature, the true muse of art!

Hallam Crow: We're here to fight, not for art.

Pierre Forte: Don't use that TONE with me.. heheh

Sir Teutorigos shifted his attention to the last person in the group.

Al-Kemist was strolling along the forest, following a small creature.

Al-Kemist: You see this beautiful creature? To the naked eye it might look like an insect, but it's in fact the Moth of Death!

The Moth made some happy moth noises.

Sir Teutorigos examined his little army. It looked like an odd bunch, and it will be tested, numerous times. He looked to the sky, lifted his sword.

Sir Teutorigos: FOLLOW ME WHEREVER I LEAD YOU, BE BRAVE IN FRONT OF ANY OBSTACLE WE MIGHT COME ACROSS, AND KNOW THAT DEATH FEARS US! LET US SET FORTH ON OUR CRUSADE, FOR WHAT LIES AHEAD IS GREATER THAN DIVINITY AND DEMONIC PUT TOGHETER. HUZZAH!

The group marched on, inspired by the cheesy stuff.

The Pinger Slinger: Ey David ever tried coke?

[Lohuydahutt]

Fuck yeah, kick those... whoever the fuck we're supposed to be fighting's ass Mothbama!