Chapter Five: I don't want to set the world on fire
Abigail found himself in Eoin's house, which was a 21st century mansion. Huh.
Eoin: Look be here, Abigail.. Oh fuck it. I don't even speak broken english. Look, Teutorigos is nutcase, but he's onto something. He seeks the 3 Souls of the Forgotten. Those three souls belong to three people: The Forest-Folk Elder, Xander, and the final guy is unknown. When Teutorigos took The Elder's soul, he did not destroy it, instead it moved on to one of your group, the Adapter. His morphing abilities made him the perfect target for the soul, which possessed him. He killed The Pinger Slinger, and turned MC Water Fountain crazy. He plans to kill every single one of you.
Abigail: I go kill him?
Eoin sighed: Why did I get stuck with the dullest tool in the metaphorical shed? No, you go kill ALL of them.
Abigail shrugged.
Eoin: Hmm.. wait. I got something to compensate for that. I'll make you the ultimate killing machine.
Yrenkeep had a fire problem. Constantly On-Fire Guy fed himself from all the town's flames, and he was huge.
Constantly On-Fire Guy: NO MORE CRUSADE. NO MORE EVIL. FIRE SHALL PURGE ALL!
He morphed into a barrier that covered the town, sending smaller flames (copies of himself) down.
CRINN was in the middle of the square. Thankfully, he was immune to fire, but the heat might overclock him.
CRINN: Go. Go. Gadget-Cards.
He whipped out his card dispenser, and in a blaze that was not COFG, came out..
Flamewanker.
Flamewanker emerged onto the battlefield, holding his fiery shlong.
Flamewanker: Oh god.. all this fire.. oh my..
Two flames of COFG rushed CRINN, and Flamewanker came. To the rescue.
Flamewanker: Oh hello there, flames, you look good tonight.. oh yeah.. oh baby..
COFG Flame: OH WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING?
COFG Flame: IS THAT HIS DICK? FUCKING HELL DUDE!
The two Flames walked away, leaving Flamewanker solo.
CRINN: Repugnant. But. Successful.
The Adapter, morphed into the Pinger, was hiding under the platform.
Brine the III, caught a glimpse of him while he was fending off two flames. He slashed them, then rushed to the Pinger.
Brine III: Pinger! Are you alright? I haven't seen you in a while.
Pinger Slinger: Ye mang, I'm fine..
Brine squinted through his helmet, then punched the Pinger in the mouth. As he fell to the ground, a small, purple shadow left his body.
Brine: That's for killing the Pinger and MC Water Fountain.
Brine III grabbed his sword, and headed back into battle.
Meanwhile, inside the Adapter's head
A huge, purple man, was standing tall in front of a huge crowd of.. everything. War generals, animals, people The Adapter met, people he killed, everything.
Purple Man: YOU ALL BOW TO ME NOW! WITH ALL OF YOU, I SHALL SEE THAT NONE OF THESE IDIOTS FINISH THIS SO CALLED CRUSADE! I -
Brine's fist appeared from the blue, and punched the Purple Man so hard, he disappeared.
The crowd was silent.
Attila the Hun: Are we free now?
Brad Pitt: I think so..
Al-Kemist and David (still in dragon form) were in the backline, safe from the flames.
David: How do we stop him?
Al-Kemist sighed: He needs to die.
He took out a potion and handed it to David.
Al-Kemist: Here's what you need to do..
Hallam and Hewitt were stuck together, again, and they were fending off the flames.
"We have to get to the source, we can't fight the flames off forever.", said Hallam as he sniped a couple of Flames.
"Speak for yourself, nature-boy", replied Hewitt as he disposed of three more flames with some quick gun-play.
"Could you stop insulting me? I have reason enough to kill you right here on the spot as it is." said a pissed-off Hallam as he sliced off a flame with his blade
"Blah blah blah, stop being such a pussy." replied a trigger-happy Hewitt as he more fiery beings were shot down.
Hallam turned to Hewitt and put a blade to his neck. He looked him dead in the eye. The look said more than any threat could.
Hewitt kicked him back, aimed a pistol at him, and fired.
Hallam closed his eyes.
And then he opened them. He looked behind him, as a Flame dropped down to the ground with a bullet in it.
He then looked back at Hewitt, whose face was covered in a smug grin.
The Adapter got up. Where was he?
He noticed that he could morph into The Pinger Slinger and MC Water Fountain freely. Did it mean that.. he killed them?
The Adapter looked up, then saw a chance to redeem himself to the group.
Brine III was running through the town square, when he saw Xander. He drew his blade, and approached him.
The Moth, Pierre and Teutorigos were in the middle of the square.
Teutorigos: How do we take him down?
They were surrounded by Flames, rushing and attacking them.
Pierre and Moth were fighting valiantly to hold them off.
Mothbama: We need to uh.. do uh.. something.
David soared above them.
David: TEUTORIGOS! I NEED TO HOP ONTO ME! WE'RE TALKING THIS GUY DOWN!.
Teutorigos climbed onto David.
David: We're going to need something to clear a path. We're headed straight for Constantly On-Fire Guy's core.
Pierre nodded.
David flew off with Teutorigos on his back.
Pierre looked towards Moth.
Moth flapped his wings releasing Radiation of DEATH, and Pierre sent a soundwave, propelling the Radiation of DEATH towards Constantly On-Fire Guy.
Pierre: YOU'RE IN TREBLE, MAN!
Moth: Ugh..
Adapter jumped up on David.
David: What the?
Adapter: You'll never be able to take him down, he'll burn you before you get there. I can help.
David: But.. how?
The big fiery dude, COFG, was really, really, really, angry.
COFG: HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE ON FIRE, HUH? YOU LIKE IT?
Then, he saw the Radiation approaching him.
COFG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
The Radiation hit him full-on, and made a big whole right in the middle of him.
COFG: WOW BOO-HOO, YOU HURT MY FIRE. FUCK YOU. WAIT. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
Adapter: Are you ready, buddy?
The Adapter morphed into a massive slingshot.
David: Will this work?
Teutorigos was clenching onto David's scales.
Adapter: Sure!
The Slingshot Adapter let go, and threw Dragon David at full speed towards COFG.
Adapter: I hope.
David was propelled the hole that Pierre and Moth made.
Teutorigos: What's the plan?
David handed him the Potion the alchemist gave him.
Teutorigos: I see. Matyrdom is the only way, then so be it.
David flew Teutorigos closer to COFG. Teutorigos stood up on two feet.
"REMEMBER ME AS THE ONE WHO CHOSE DEATH OVER HELL. REMEMBER ME AS THE ONE WHO CHOSE GOOD OVER EVIL. REMEMBER ME AS I SHALL FIND MYSELF IN THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL SWINGING MY SWORD AT THE DEVIL. HUZZAH!"
Teutorigos flung himself into COFG.
Al-Kemist watched. The potion should take effect any minute now.
He noticed Brine the Third at the other end of the square, wiping blood of his sword.
Weird. Flames don't bleed.
COFG: WHAT? TEUTORIGOS!? DON'T FUCK ME OVER? I SWEAR I WILL
Teutorigos dropped in the fiery pit that was COFG. And soon, Sir Teutorigos' body, courtesy of Al-Kemist, exploded in an icy blast.
COFG: NO!
COFG started shrinking, more and more, as ice consumed his fire.
COFG: WHAT IS... WAIT... I FEEL... THE...
As ice overtook fire, a shriveled, burnt, but not on-fire man lay on the ground.
The group ran towards him.
David: Is he..?
COFG coughed, then smiled.
COFG: I don't feel the pain anymore.. *cough*.. the fire.. stopped.. I feel chilly.. I was jealous of everyone that they didn't feel my pain, and I was right.. this is great.. I hope Death's embrace is.. cold.. hehe
Third Death: Constantly On-Fire Guy
Hewitt stood up: Teutorigos is dead. What now?
Hallam: Crusade is over. Go home.
Everybody looked down at the ground.
David: He's probably down there now, annoying the devil with his self-righteousness.
Brine III: Do not mourn no longer.
They all turned and saw him, holding his sword on his shoulder.
Brine III: I shall finish what he started. I shall lead the crusade.
Meanwhile, a little girl was roaming the woods, trained and ready to kill.
With whole new gear, as well...
To be continued..
Originally Posted by Dion
Reply With Quote
