fair enough i fucking hate the sun tooOriginally Posted by Log
Bon Vivant of Violet
fair enough i fucking hate the sun too
mom said its my turn to have mod back
Chapter 8
Edward Snowden checked the front door, it was unlocked for whatever reason. Well that makes my life easier, Snowden thought. He walked inside.
Ladies and Gentlemen…
Godzilla stares at his destiny.
I present to you all…
Godzilla reaches out for his destiny.
The one and only…
Godzilla is now on top of his destiny.
GODZILLA IN A WHEELCHAIR! Yes that’s what I’ve been hyping up and oh it’s glorious. You guys don’t care? OK :c See, I’m a good guy, I help out the disabled!
Godzilla was now able to navigate the city more effectively, he rolled up to a building and then punched the shit out of it. It toppled over, just like the good old days. Sort of.
Lincoln Chafee went over the beginning of the tape in his head. “Hello… Mr. President, as you can probably tell, most everyone is gone. Since pretty much every other qualified person ever for the job is gone, we were forced to vest the power in you. You, President Lincoln Chafee. I would request you give your oath of office but ain’t nobody got time for that. So let’s get down to business, here is your honorary job briefing…”
Lincoln Chafee watched the three-way fight from a distance, and felt deeply saddened. As President of the United States I pledge to fight for peace! Chafee clenched his fists and approached the three-way. All three turned their heads towards Lincoln Chafee.
“My uh, fellow Americans. You should stop the fighting because that’s what I think you should do I mean well, I give you an EXECUTIVE ORDER to stop fighting. Yeah.” Lincoln Chafee stammered. This fucking guy again? Thought Ghost Rider. Raven tilted her head to the side. Kaname just sat there staring at the horizon.
“So are you going to move along peacefully now?” Lincoln Chafee asked.
Ghost Rider looked ready to attack Chafee, but six Secret Service agents suddenly emerged from behind Lincoln Chafee, with their MP5s pointed at the three-way.
Ghost Rider and Raven glanced at each other, and then looked towards the Secret Service. Raven used her telekinesis to take away their guns and then Ghost Rider just lit all of them up with his hellfire. The fight was over within seconds.
Lincoln Chafee looked down on the scorched corpses of his Secret Service agents, and then looked at Raven and Ghost Rider… Kaname disappeared off to somewhere. Lincoln Chafee took a step forward to both of them and reached into his pockets.
He threw one frog in Ghost Rider’s eyes and then another frog into Raven’s eyes. Lincoln Chafee then used the distraction as an opportunity to run away... Our President everybody!
Sole Survivor and Dogmeat kept on running, and they ran past the elephant from before. Sole Survivor decide to board the elephant and the elephant started running away from the destruction. But eventually, the spread of death overtook them. The elephant stood still, looking around now that it knew the spread of death wasn’t going to kill it. Sole Survivor saw what used to be a vibrant forest become a desolate wasteland. Now this is what I’m used to, she thought. But this comfort did not last long, she felt a shockwave coming from the ground. Then, a distant sound something akin to a building crumbling down.
She urged the elephant and Dogmeat to start running again… Grocery Bag was going HAM.
Pearl Fey felt it overtaking her once again… but this time she was shrinking. She emerged as… Goombario, in a kimono of course. “Time for some payback.”
“I can fly? Sweeeeetttttt,” Super Skunk said excitedly as he started levitating in the air. Shadow saw this as an opportunity, and started trying to spin away.
“I’m not letting you get away that easy!” Super Skunk said.
Super Skunk tackled Shadow out of the air and started dragging him across the floor. Then he flew up a bit and stomped Shadow into the ground. This broke the floor, and sent Shadow 6 feet underground, but he was still spinning by clipping through the surrounding ground… somehow. Super Skunk flew down there and picked Shadow back up again. Super Skunk flew out of the dojo through the ceiling with Shadow in hand.
Once they were up in the air Skunk put Shadow in front of him and then through his staff up the air dramatically (just to show off) and then smoothly caught it. With Shadow still in place he swung the staff at Shadow like it was a fucking baseball bat or something and sent the dude flying towards Tokyo. The staff broke but still, it looked cool mang.
Now they were in Tokyo, paying no mind to the handicapped Godzilla nearby. Super Skunk rushed at Shadow from all directions, and then unleashed his ULTIMATE ATTACK! A green cloud surrounded both of them, and Shadow was completely incapable of seeing anything through it. Shadow felt himself blistering up, and realized he had to get out of the gas cloud as soon as possible. “CHAOS CONTROL!” Shadow shouted, and used the slowed down time to evade Super Skunk and get the fuck out of the cloud. Super Skunk looked around frantically, but unfortunately, he couldn’t see shit in the cloud either. He tried blindly flying around the cloud to find Shadow, and while he did not find him, the cloud started dissipating before long. Super Skunk spotted the battered (but still spinning) Shadow and flew over to him.
“You’re finished now. Got any last words?” Super Skunk said confidently.
“Ugh *vomits* fuck…” Shadow responded.
“What’s a fuck?” Super Skunk asked. Being from a children’s TV Show, he had no awareness of such a word.
“Well… *vomits* Chaos… BLAST!” Suddenly a large field of energy bursted from Shadow, sending Super Skunk flying into the ground, leaving a pretty deep crater.
Super Skunk climbed out, unharmed, and got ready to fly back at Shadow. He started to, but after only getting a few feet off the ground, his super form disappeared and he fell back down on the ground.
“Ow…” Skunk got up and brushed himself off. He heard some loud squeaking noise, and turned around. But… it was kind of sort of too late.
Godzilla paid no mind to the speck of blood on the left wheel of his wheelchair, he just kept on rolling. As for Skunk… the poor thing was essentially roadkill now.
TWELFTH DEATH
Skunk-Glike
Yeah well… I mean, the Super form was a huge stat boost, but when your original stats aren’t that great… it wasn’t really enough to finish Shadow off. As such, Shadow shall continue to spin for another day.
I looked at Shadow from my vantage point, and wondered if I should try jumping him or not. Might as well try some target practice. My paw/flipper/whatevers started lighting up with sparks.
Turtle and Sane were looking and a roughly drawn out map of the arena to decide what to do next.
“Maybe we should check out that Wal-Mart next, I hope the dildos are still in stock.” Turtle said. Palkia roared in affirmation, but it sounded a bit… off. Nobody noticed it, but Palkia’s eyes were a deeper red than usual.
“Sounds like a plan.” Sane suddenly detected something nearby and turned around. He saw Goombario poking his head out from behind a building.
“OK man I need to take a shit, I’ll be right back.” Sane said to Turtle.
“Go ahead.” Turtle responded.
Sane walked to where he saw Goombario, and sure enough, there he was. He was wearing a kimono for some reason and he had hair now, but still. That hair actually looked familiar, but Sane decided to disregard it.
“Hey, where the hell did you go off to?” Sane asked Goombario.
“Turtle tried to get rid of me! I’m telling you man he can’t be trusted!” Goombario answered.
“I’m sure he had his reasons.”
“That’s the thing though, I was just minding my own business and Turtle kicked me off the Palkia. It was a lucky thing we weren’t too high up, or I would have died!”
“He did that? No…”
“I’m telling you man, he’s a murderous backstabbing psychopath! You can’t trust him at all! He’ll act nice but that’s all just a facade!” I’m actually quite amazed at how Goombario managed to say that so smoothly.
“But I thought the Dildo League was a league of JUSTICE!”
“That’s just what he wants you to believe. How could it possibly be a league for justice with such a backstabbing leader like that?”
“You might have a point…” Sane still looked uncertain, but that seed of doubt was all Goombario needed.
“I’ll be counting on you then!” Goombario said with a smile.
Sane headed back to the team.
“Oh hey you’re back, how was your shit?”
“Oh, just wonderful.” Sane replied in an oddly erratic way, he hoped Turtle wouldn’t notice.
“Hey, you’re acting a bit weird.”
“Oh no- I mean, I feel so good after taking a shit that I just get all excited and stuff.”
“Well, OK then.” Turtle didn’t sound completely convinced, but it was enough to hold him over. Sane sighed in relief.
“That’s a pretty sunrise there.” Turtle commented.
“What? Oh yeah, I guess it is.” Sane also looked towards the horizon as well. Indeed, it was.
TUNE IN FOR CHAPTER 9 BECAUSE THAT’S THE NEXT CHAPTER AND STUFF
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
Well, Pearl Fey better get her shit together. I'm tired of not having a single kill to my name in Royales. XD
*Adapter looks at me sadly*
You don't count!
Watch Magical Girl Raising Project. Just do it.
I mean, to be fair Pearl had a notable part in Sam Burgess' death
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
True. Better than most of my bloodline's other choices.
*Adapter looks at me again*
Shut up or I'll feed you to the wolves!
Watch Magical Girl Raising Project. Just do it.
Bon Vivant of Violet
kaname went fast
super speed kaname away
mom said its my turn to have mod back
Chapter 9
Edward Snowden walked into well, my house. The interior design was absolutely fabulous, but Snowden didn’t seem to care too much about that. He entered the room where my laptop was, and observed the laptop seemingly typing up the battle on its own. Snowden looked at all of the video feeds, which showed all of the contestants doing… well, whatever they’re doing. This information was all his for the taking. Snowden sat down and stared at the screens. He had a slight headache, but he disregarded it.
Shadow reflected on how his performance in the game so far, particularly the fact that a fucking Skunk gave him a run for his money. He wondered what to do next, the closest by opponent was Godzilla but Shadow was at least smart enough to know that was an awful idea. Shadow also wanted to rest, but that was pretty much impossible. Shadow sighed and started to spin away, Godzilla paid no mind and just went about his business destroying more skyscrapers. Godzilla can always rely on skyscraper destruction when he has nothing else more interesting to do. It’s fun, probably.
But Godzilla wasn’t Shadow’s only problem. In fact, if I had shot that bolt of magical electricity at Shadow a quarter of a second earlier, it would have hit him straight on. Shadow followed the path of the bolt and flew towards me.
“So we *vomits* meet again!” Shadow said.
“Yeah probably.” I reply.
“So you’re the one who shot at me I take it?”
“Yeah probably.”
“So we’re going to fight now?”
“Yeah probably.”
“Do you think you can *vomits* take me out?”
“Yeah probably.”
I swear Shadow must have puked almost 100 times by now, seriously how the fuck is this even possible. Oh well, we’re gonna fight now I guess. Again.
Lincoln Chafee entered an empty ass building, and saw Kaname Kuran hanging out in the center of it. Kaname was wearing a black dress shirt now, it was also partially unbuttoned, displaying his alluring chest. Lincoln Chafee, not knowing the full extent of the danger he was in approached Kaname. “Hey, as an EXECUTIVE ORDER I think you might want to tell me what you’re doing.” Lincoln Chafee said, slightly nervously. Kaname calmly walked towards him and stopped a few feet away from him. Kaname looked Lincoln Chafee straight in the eyes, seductively.
“Oh, I don’t care for the sun too much.”
Lincoln Chafee was just staring at Kaname’s chest.
“Hey, are you listening?”
“Oh yeah, sure. Kill the sun right?” Lincoln Chafee continued to stare at that exposed skin, while he may have denied it he wanted to see more of it.
“My eye’s are up here you know!” Kaname’s eyes flashed red for just a second, before returning to its initial brown state.
“I know! Don’t worry I can uhhh uhhhhh deal with your problem.” Kaname simply smiled in response.
South Sudan was looking like that shitty 2012 movie now, except with you know, better CGI. The ground was literally falling from under their feet, and Sole Survivor (still on her elephant) and Dogmeat were just trying to run away before they fell off too. Sole Survivor looked behind her as hordes of kob (a type of antelope) were running from their impending doom, only to fall into nothingness. She looked away, not wanting to even think about sharing the same fate. That’s right, look forward, look forward, that’s where my future lies. Sole Survivor thought, trying to encourage herself. She saw some birds tried to fly away from the doom, but got enveloped in the dust cloud. She did not see them come back out. For some reason this one grocery bag appeared to be riding the wind faster than the birds were (IT MUST BE A CONSPIRACY!) Sole Survivor paid no mind to that detail however. As they got closer to the border of South Sudan, the dust cloud drew closer…
And closer…
And closer…
Sole Survivor turned around again, Dogmeat was nowhere to be found. “Dogmeat…? DOGMEEAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT!” She screamed out, but to no avail. That dog was gone.
Now she and the elephant were right at the border, but the ground caught up to them, and she felt herself starting to descend into darkness. Well, at least she could rejoin Dogmeat. Unless...
Sole Survivor jumped off the elephant like Mario would to Yoshi, and just barely made it on top of the ledge of Whogivesafuck, Iowa. Dogmeat was gone, the elephant was gone, and well, South Sudan was too.
THIRTEENTH DEATH
South Sudan-KITN
Sole Survivor was now officially the Sole Survivor of that incident. OK, not quite. She pays no mind as the Grocery Bag flies away in the wind.
And Dogmeat? Well… Dogmeat was simply floating in space now. Nothing much to say about that, I mean, dogs can’t survive the vacuum of fucking space.
FOURT-
Wait what, the fucker’s still alive? … How? Oh well, point is, he is, somehow. But Sole Survivor would have to continue on with her journey, alone.
Sane and Turtle watched the sun rise in awe, but eventually Sane decided to speak out.
“Hey Turtle?” Sane asked.
“Yeah?” Turtle replied.
“What do you think JUSTICE is?”
“The right answer to people doing the wrong thing?”
“So was what you did to say, Goombario, the right thing?”
“Well of course it was.”
“OK, that’s all I need to know,” Sane turned his head back to the sunset once more, and sighed, “hey want to go back to the center of town? I want to pray to our divine dildo god’s likeness for better days.”
“I’d be down for that.” With Turtle’s confirmation, they headed towards the Divine Dildo monument in the center of town. Neither of them noticed the kimono-clad Goombario watching them from a safe distance.
“Why, that’s a mighty fine dildo.” Sane commented.
“Of course it is.” Turtle replied.
“A great place for a duel.”
“Wait what?”
Sane took out two dildo-shaped tonfas, and took on a battle stance.
“Oh, I see how it is. I was hoping it didn’t have to come to this Dildnose, but you leave me no choice,” Turtle drew out his dildo blade and then motioned towards Palkia, who was currently nibbling on a brick, “Palkia you piece of shit, let’s kick this guy’s ass!”
“Hey, I thought we were going to be fair!” Sane objected.
“Fuck that shit,” Turtle replied coldly.
Palkia was tripping balls, the trees had eyes, the grass was pink, Turtle had wrapped himself up in an American flag, this simply couldn’t be reality. Therefore, Palkia had to return to the dimension that was reality. Palkia created a portal and disappeared into it. That's what happens if you take shrooms mang.
“Oh come on you piece of shit! Just when I needed you the most!” Turtle was visibly frustrated.
“Wanna fight me like a man then?” Sane responded with a sneer.
“I must warn you dildnose, you cannot defeat the Dildo Master.” Turtle said, clearly regaining his confidence.
“Try me. He who does not truly believe in JUSTICE can never win!”
And so, the dildo wars commenced.
Raven and Ghost Rider both looked onwards to the sunrise.
“Quite the nice sunrise there.” Ghost Rider said, surprisingly casually.
“Sure.” Raven replied, sounding disinterested.
“Well, I like giant balls of flames myself.”
“Good for you.”
“But the sun does not burn nearly as much as my passion for-” Ghost Rider was cut off when Raven sent him flying away with her telekinesis. That guy was irritating, Raven thought. She continued to stare at the sunrise, but had a sinking feeling weighing in on her. Something bad was going to happen here.
The sun continued to send its UV radiation down on us naive souls. If the sun was sentient, it would likely be thinking, WHY WON’T YOU GUYS FUCKING DIE ALREADYYYYYYYYYYY!
Ahhhhh the sun, silly sun, don’t you know our ozone layer protects us from such things? The Sun sent out solar winds, starting to strip away the atmosphere. Since the arena was only a few small pieces of land floating in space, we had no magnetic field. In hindsight, maybe letting the fucking sun in wasn’t such a good idea.
TUNE IN FOR CHAPTER TEN WHEN THE SUN ALSO RISES!
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
I kinda want Raven to win this thing now. XD
Watch Magical Girl Raising Project. Just do it.
I'm really curios what Snowden can do from there
Bon Vivant of Violet
Go president chaffee blow up the sun
mom said its my turn to have mod back
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