Almost Fucking Anything Battle Royale/AFABR

[sane]

Log stays

[Juiz]

Also, there goes Godzilla. *salutes* Now, one of the Fallout 4 characters have to die, and then everyone would have had one of their characters die.

Or both

[Samos]

the environment needs more attention than ever now that the motherfucking sun is gone

you go Chafee

[Faker]

I'm just waiting for the day Chafee comes across the grocery bag. No way he's letting thst shit fly.

[Lohuydahutt]

Chapter 13

Ghost Rider fell like, 108 or so meters down but still landed flawlessly. At this point Ghost Rider is just showing off, I mean geez. Everybody else stopped paying attention though, poor guy.

---

Grocery Bag caught onto a tree (it was rejuvenated because reasons). And once again, all of the leaves fell off. Lincoln Chafee had trouble reaching it though. So he summoned his right hand men.
“ASSIST THE PRESIDENT!”
“HELP THE PRESIDENT!”
“KELP THE PRESIDENT!”
“SERVICE THE PRESIDENT!”
“CAN’T RESIST THE PRESIDENT!”
“KISS THE PRESIDENT!”
“LYNCH THE PRESIDENT!”

The Secret Service were at Lincoln Chafee’s service once more. Grocery Bag drifted down, and landed on one of their heads. It constricted. And then...

Shouting, gunfire, more shouting, more gunfire, you know the drill.

All of them were dead, and while the Grocery Bag was bloodied, it was completely intact. Aww diddly snacks, that was my last squad of those guys, Lincoln Chafee thought in dismay. He picked up the bloodstained Grocery Bag. “But I’m just about ready to lose YOU too!” Lincoln Chafee said to the Grocery Bag. Grocery Bag did not move. Lincoln Chafee picked up Grocery Bag and then headed towards the Wal-Mart with a determined look on his face.

---

“So… what brings you to these parts… DOTA Nerd?” I said DRAMATICALLY.
“I’m gonna teach a n00b like you how it’s done!”
“K.”

DOTA Nerd (in a kimono) slowly waddled over to my computer and collapsed onto my chair. He started typing away FURIOUSLY and shit. And then… he laughed.

“Heh, haha, HAHAHA, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!” He laughed maniacally.
“Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue wait what.” I joined in.
“This is the answer to your little problem… n00b!”
“But what the fuck did you do?”
“Are you familiar with a little thing called modding?”
“Oh.”

He kind of pissed me off, but something told me this was the answer I needed.

“OK, good job mang, now get the fuck out.” I said.
“Fine den n00b!” DOTA Nerd Fey tried to get up but couldn’t get out of his chair.

---

Kaname Kuran walked up to Sole Survivor and Dogmeat. Even if he couldn’t kill that damn dog, Sole Survivor was fair game after all. But wait… something seemed… different.

“Greetings once again.” Kaname said.
“YOU!” Sole Survivor shouted out in response, she didn’t forget what Kaname *tried* to do to Dogmeat.

Dogmeat just growled at Kaname, obviously trying to intimidate him, but to no avail. Kaname just smiled, and took a step to the side. Behind Kaname was what appeared to be a black wolf, and it was almost twice the size of Dogmeat.

“I don’t need your little dog distracting me, so I brought my own little plaything.” Kaname said condescendingly. Sole Survivor took a step back, with her plasma rifle pointed at Kaname.
“Don’t get any closer!” Sole Survivor said angrily. Kaname motioned to his wolf, and the big black wolf tackled Dogmeat.

Dogmeat tried to push the wolf off of him but it appeared to be overpowering him. Sole Survivor tried to help Dogmeat but Kaname used that moment she turned away as an opportune chance to rush her down. Kaname yanked the gun out of her hand and then gently held said hand. He wrapped his other arm around her back, and looked Sole Survivor directly into her eyes. Everything inside Sole Survivor was screaming out, telling her to break away from his grip. But she found herself unable to move.

“I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time.” Kaname said softly.

Sole Survivor could not even say anything. She was completely paralyzed by Kaname’s sexy gaze.

“Farewell.” Kaname said right before his eyes turned glowing red. Kaname moved his head towards her neck and… well you can guess what happened. Sole Survivor remained motionless, even as her own blood, her own life force were sucked out of her. She slowly felt her life being drained away, and she could do nothing but stare at Kaname. She felt her blood being sucked out, and she still heard Dogmeat and that wolf clawing away at each other. The whole arena smelt like death.

“Dogmeat… I’m sorry…” She whispered. But just when she was about to close her eyes, Kaname broke his grip.

Sole Survivor collapsed on the ground, and could do nothing but watch what happened next.

She saw the black wolf lying motionless on the ground, it turned to dust and faded away.

She saw Kaname Kuran look down angrily at Dogmeat, who was biting down on his leg hard. Kaname broke free of Dogmeat’s grip, but his leg was still covered in blood.

“Oh? What do we have here?” Kaname said with a smile. Dogmeat’s fur was messy and covered in blood, one of his eyes was closed, there was a deep gash over his nose, and he was trembling. Kaname approached Dogmeat, who let out a weak bark to try to ward him off. It was all he could do.

Kaname kneeled down, and lifted Dogmeat up by the neck. Dogmeat was too weak to fight back. Kaname sighed, and then… SNAP. Kaname dropped Dogmeat onto the ground once more, and walked away.

“DOGMEAT!” Sole Survivor had a boost in adrenaline and was able to get back up and ran over to her fallen companion. She got out a stimpak and tried to inject it into Dogmeat… nothing. She tried another one, nothing. She used up every single stimpak she had in her inventory, but Dogmeat still remained motionless. Then, Sole Survivor broke out in tears.

Kaname turned his head to look back at Sole Survivor, shrugged and kept on walking. As Kaname walked out of sight, Sole Survivor lifted her head. While her face was still covered with tears, she truly had a look of vengeance. Fucking mods.

TWENTIETH DEATH
Dogmeat-Kubby

---

If you want me to be completely honest, I felt depressed just writing that out. I’m just going to have to hope Sole Survivor won’t find out why that actually happened... wait where did DOTA Nerd Fey wobble off to?

---

President Lincoln Chafee, the man who’s supposedly supposed to carry out all of the laws of the land, just stole some shit from a Wal-Mart yayyyyy. It wasn’t too much though, just some gasoline and some matches.

Lincoln Chafee found the nearest public trash can, and placed Grocery Bag inside of it. He doused the contents of the trash can with the gasoline, and then lit a match.

“As President of the United States of America I would know, the fight to save the environment must be done one step at a time. While this may be only one grocery bag, disposing of it is a necessary step- oh what the hell I’m just talking to myself now.” Lincoln Chafee tossed the lit match into the trash can, and as would be expected, the entire can burst into flames. It’s what happened next that was surprising.

As soon as Lincoln Chafee was ready to turn away, a figure burst out of the trash can. It was a large being composed of fire, but on his head was that same fucking Grocery Bag, except it had horns and a face for some reason. For the simple fact that I felt like it, I drew this to outline what it looks like :3

Spoiler: 

Lincoln Chafee fell on his ass in shock.

“Who-who… Who… are you? No, scratch that, what are you?” Lincoln Chafee stammered.
“I AM GROCERY BAG’S TRUE FORM! BY SETTING ME ABLAZE YOU HAVE UNLEASHED MY INNER DEMON FORM! BOW DOWN TO ME MERE MORTAL YOU DO NOT STAND A CHANCE AGAINST THE RAW POWER OF MY TRUE FORM! MUAHAHAHAHAHA AH YES I SEE YOU MUST BE TREMBLING IN FEAR JUST THIS MOMENT! FOR IT IS I, GROCERY BAG THE ONE WHO KILLED YOUR PUNY SECRET SERVICE, THE ONE WHO CHOKED THE GOAT, THE ONE WHO DESTROYED ALL OF SOUTH SUDAN! KNEEL BEFORE MY POWER AND-”
“So you’re part demon too huh?” Raven interjected.
“AND WHO MIGHT YOU BE?” Grocery Bag shouted out angrily.
“Oh, I’m Raven, daughter of Trigon That fucking douchebag I mean what.” Raven said.
“WHO THE FUCK IS TRIGON!” Grocery Bag shouted out.
“Wait, you’re not one of Trigon’s guys?” Raven asked, clearly confused.
“NO, MY ALLEGIANCE IS WITH SATAN!” Grocery Bag replied.
“Who the hell is Satan?” Raven asked.
“FOOLISH MORTAL, I SHALL SHOW YOU THE TRUE POWER SATAN BESTOWED UPON ME!” Grocery Bag yelled out.
“Well, whatever you say big guy.” Raven said calmly.

Sane saw Raven and Grocery Bag standing off, A.K.A a DAMSEL IN DISTRESS VS A DEMON THING! Don’t worry fair maiden it’s JUSTICE TIME! Sane thought as he ordered Palkia to fly towards those two.
“SIR DILDNOSE IS HERE TO HELP- AH FUCK” Sane was interrupted when Raven used her telekinesis to slam both of them onto the ground.
“Ugh, who are you guys?” Raven said, evidently disgusted by the appearance of both of them.
“I’m here to save you from this foul beast kind lady.” Sane said while bowing.
“I can handle this.” Raven responded.
“Rejected again…” Sane said sadly.
“FOOL! BRING ALL THE FRIENDS YOU WANT YOU STILL CAN NEVER STAND UP TO ME- ohshit” Grocery Bag was knocked when Ghost Rider rammed into the garbage can.
“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” Grocery Bag kindly asked Ghost Rider.
“My name is Ghost Rider and I fucked your girl!” Ghost Rider answered smoothly.

Grocery Bag forced himself out of the garbage can and… oh hey, he has legs, would you look at that.

“PALKIA use water thing idk man” Sane commanded.

Palkia nodded and sent a hydro pump in Grocery Bag’s direction. But the water just turned into steam on contact.

“PSSSSH YOU THINK WATER CAN PUT OUT THIS ETERNAL FIRE? OH YOU HAVE ANOTHER THING COMING! NOT ONLY ARE YOU ALL WEAK, YOU ARE STUPID!”

Ghost Rider, Raven, Sane, and Palkia surrounded him and looked towards each other. They are in a game where they must kill each other eventually, but this guy was just an asshole so as such, it was time for a temporary truce. I suppose Lincoln Chafee was also supposed to be there… but he ran off somewhere.

---

And then there was Satan, chilling out in hell. He was watching all of this go down with anticipation.

“So this is the big moment huh?” That One Guy said.
“Indeed it is. Four guys at once, heh, that’s four less guys my minion has to deal with.” Satan said smugly.
“Should be fun.” That One Guy replied.
“Indeed it should.” Satan said.

TUNE IN FOR CHAPTER FOURTEEN WHERE MORE FIGHTING HAPPENS AND STUFF!

[Turtlesauce]

Fucking mods

[Poles]

did you purposely make it ridiculously depressing and awful because I said I don't like when the dog dies
because fu

[Lohuydahutt]

did you purposely make it ridiculously depressing and awful because I said I don't like when the dog dies
because fu

Honestly, it just kind of turned out that way.

[sane]

What the fuck is a sonic

[GonadTheNomad]

You made Grocery Bag way more fun to read the antics of than I could have ever imagined.