TURTLESAUCE VS LOH FOR THE FINALE.
Also I'm pretty fucking hyped for this
TURTLESAUCE VS LOH FOR THE FINALE.
Also I'm pretty fucking hyped for this
Originally Posted by Dion
Grocery Bag v Sun
Which one destroys the Earth first?
Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!Spoiler:
Grocery Bag costs 5p, it'll destroy the economy first
Chapter 1
That One Guy walked out of the theater looking down at his phone the entire time. He took a left and then kept on walking.
Turtle saw the pink pillar of energy destroy the LEGO building and suddenly felt the urge to come down from his high dildo to see what was going on. He watched as Palkia slowly walked out of the wreckage and turned towards Turtle. Oh shit, it’s looking at me. It’s too early for me to die damnit! Thought Turtle as he found himself frozen in place. The Palkia continued to slowly walk towards Turtle. Turtle tried his best to look intimidating but at that point he was shaking. The Palkia stopped, and looked Turtle directly in the eye. Palkia let out a roar… and then slowly kneeled before Turtle, the dildo master. “What the… I mean- HAHA I knew that would happen! Yes my walking dick dragon, let us vanquish these vile non-dildo lovers TOGETHER!” Said Turtle, who suddenly regained his confidence.
Turtle boarded his newfound trusty steed. “Fly my steed, I want to get a good view of the arena!” And so Palkia did. Turtle looked around the arena, though it was a bit hard to see everything when it was so dark out. However, a dispute ended up catching his eye.
“Yo ghost rider you aint even real dude
You suck a lot, like sam, you must be a jew!” Was one of many fire rhymes Eminem spat out against Ghost Rider, unfortunately, since Ghost Rider was already on fire the rhymes had no effect. Eminem soon had a chain wrapped around him, and Ghost Rider drew him closer only to smack him right across the face.
At that point, Eminem just lost it UHUHUHUHUH
Slim Shady drew out a knife and rushed down Ghost Rider and started stabbing him repeatedly in between the rib cage. Which basically meant he was accomplishing nothing. Suddenly a black Sedan pulled up beside the two, and Lincoln Chafee stepped out of the car.
“Oh come on guys, make love not war! I totally don’t mean that in a gay way but if you are that’s fine by me.”
“Yo you really just interrupted our fight yo? I was totally gonna get that guy!” Said the disgruntled Eminem.
Ghost Rider interjected, “Shut up and let me handle this douche.”
“Come on don’t you think you’re being a little rough on me? Hurting me would be the worst decision since the Iraq War!”
Ghost Rider looked Lincoln Chafee right in the eyes, and wasted no time hitting him with a penance stare.
Yes… the penance stare, a powerful tool that makes the victim experience all of the pain they have ever inflicted upon an innocent person in their life. It’s a tool that could break the will of damn near anybody… except for Lincoln Chafee apparently.
“How the-” said the bewildered Ghost Rider right before Eminem crashed into him with his car.
What Ghost Rider didn’t know was that in Lincoln Chafee’s almost 30 years of public service, he had no scandals. He has high ethical standards man.
“Now that that chump’s out, you’re next yo.”
“Can’t we talk it out?”
“Fuck that shit. We can rap it out tho.”
“Damn, I don’t have any time to rehearse… only one option then.” Muttered Lincoln Chafee under his breath.
OK, I lied. Lincoln Chafee did have one scandal.
Lincoln Chafee reached into his pocket.
There was a certain something Chafee spent hard-earned taxpayer money on that perhaps he shouldn’t have.
Eminem reached towards his knife.
All 8 of those taxpayer dollars could have been spent on something much more worthwhile.
Lincoln Chafee threw a frog at Eminem’s eyes as a distraction.
“Ow what the fuck was that yo!” Yelled out Eminem, he watched the frog hop away. He turned around to find Ghost Rider standing right behind him.
Meanwhile Lincoln Chafee ran into the Wal-Mart to hide. As the automatic door opened, a lone grocery bag flopped out of the store, and then flew into the air with the breeze.
Sole Survivor and her dog walked out of the cornfield and found themselves by the side of a road. There was a sign reading: “South Sudan This Way >” Sole Survivor shrugged. “Might as well.” She said. She walked down the road towards South Sudan, and Dogmeat followed. As she walked down the land of grass and cornfields quite suddenly became a fucking jungle. Sole Survivor trudged on cautiously, she had no idea what horrors soon awaited her.
Raven quickly looked around the Warehouse. “Nothing of use here I take it.” Raven suddenly started levitating, and went out the same window Shadow did a few minutes before.
With Ghost Eyes strength, Goombario and him broke out of the prison with relative ease. The only question was where to go now.
“Wow, those are some big muscles you have there mister!” Commented Goombario.
“Why thank you man! I work out every day so I can beat- oh wait this is a kids show, ummm… look intimidating for no reason.” Replied Ghost Eyes, he was seemingly cheerful but his voice made it so he still sounded angry.
“I want to be a hunk like you some day! Oh by the way where are we going?”
“Why not that graveyard over there? We can loot- I mean pay our respects to the dead!”
And so they did. Once they arrived at the graveyard Ghost Eyes took it upon himself to dig up the first grave he saw… with his bare hands. Unfortunately there weren’t any real valuables on the poor skeleton he unearthed.
“Oh come on!” Wailed Ghost Eyes as he climbed out of the grave.
“No worries! There’s always the next one!” Responded Goombario.
However, before Ghost Eyes could exhume another corpse, he caught sight of what appeared to be a pretty boy teenager in a white outfit.
Ghost Eyes whispered into Goombario’s… ear… wait does Goombario even have one? “Oh hey Goombario, you told me you were really good at analyzing stuff right? What can you tell me about this guy?”
Goombario took a quick glance at Kuname Kuran to analyze him. Nope, nope, nope. Well, this could be fun actually. Thought Goombario to himself.
“Oh that guy? He’s not a problem, in fact, you could take him on all by yourself if you wanted to!” Exclaimed Goombario with a smile.
“Is that so? ALRIGHT THEN PRETTY BOY, YOU BETTER GET THE FUDGE OUT OF HERE OR I’M GONNA BEAT YOU UP!”
Ghost Eyes continued to spout out threats and didn’t even notice Goombario walking away from him. Goombario hid behind a grave so he could watch them from a distance. Alright, this is gonna be good. Thought Goombario.
“HEY MAN STOP WALKING TOWARDS ME OR I’M GONNA GIVE YOU THE OLE’ ONE TWO! AND BELIEVE ME I’LL DO IT MAN, I REALLY WILL DO- wait where’s Goombario?”
Kuname Kuran continued to slowly walk towards Ghost Eyes, and when he got too close Ghost Eyes threw a punch. Kuname casually caught the punch and gently pushed Ghost Eye’s fist back to his side.
“I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME MAN BUT IF YOU DON’T STOP I REALLY WILL KICK YOUR BUTT-” Ghost Eyes was interrupted when Kuname lightly placed his finger on Ghost Eyes’ lips.
“Shhhhhhhh no tears, only dreams now.”
Ghost Eyes felt powerless as he stared into Kuname’s eyes. Everything inside of him was telling him to move, but he just couldn’t. He was entranced by Kuname’s gaze. Ah man, this is giving me some bad prison flashbacks, thought Ghost Eyes. Kuname placed his right hand on Ghost Eyes’ cheek, and gently caressed it. Kuname continued to look Ghost Eyes right in the, well, ghost eyes and his face got even closer.
“Oh yes, I see you now. Underneath that tough looking exterior is an absolute treasure! I must say I am glad I met you,” said Kuname. Kuname then whispered into Ghost Eyes ear, “I bet you taste sweet.”
Kuname’s eyes suddenly turned a glowing red, and he swiftly bit into Ghost Eyes’ neck. Ghost Eyes screamed out in pain but soon his voice grew muted as more blood was drawn out. Goombario watched in awe but suddenly walked away. He wanted to watch the rest of it, but knew that he might be in danger if he waited around too long.
Kuname looked down on the now pale Ghost Eyes and wiped off the blood on the corners of his mouth with his sleeve. “That was refreshing.” Said Kuname with a smile, he did not have to hold back any more. As for Ghost Eyes? Well… you can probably guess.
FIRST DEATH
Ghost Eyes-Brine.
Dahlia Hawthorne was just about to enter Pearl Fey, but a more… powerful spirit overtook her. Suddenly, Pearl Fey’s body basically grew 5 times the size, she was suddenly incredibly muscular, and she had a beard now. Yet this muscular figure still had Pearl’s hair and was still wearing her kimono, which mystically adjusted its size to fit Ghost Eyes. “I’LL TELL YOU! I’M GOING TO GET THAT GOOMBARIO GUY IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!”
DOTA Nerd laughed loudly once he saw that Citizen4 left the game. “HAHA I sure showed that n00b!” Though DOTA Nerd’s satisfaction over “showing that n00b” was eventually replaced with a feeling of emptiness. Turns out Citizen4 was the only other guy on the server. Now he was truly alone. DOTA Nerd heard his goat screaming but paid no mind to it. A few seconds later he heard the doorbell. I don’t feel like getting that. Thought DOTA Nerd. As such, he stayed in his basement.
Snowden stood outside the door, and suddenly felt something small dropped on his head. He reached up to feel it and found to his dismay that it was shit of some kind. He wiped his hand on the nearby bush to get it off.
“Ow.”
That bush turned out to be a rose bush, conveniently enough. Edward Snowden sighed and examined the front of the house. Breaking in wasn’t going to be hard.
Meanwhile at the other house I was still just passively watching the proceedings. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps I should join the fight, but meh, I’ll do that later. For now I can just watch. I suppose if I’m going to be the shoe-in winner of this bout I should actually do stuff… but I don’t feel like ittttttttttttt. But… I guess I should. Fine, I’ll do it. I grab my RPG launcher and start heading out… and how do I walk out of that room but still narrate this whole battle you ask? Well, simple. Due to the scientific reason called “because I can” I have now given myself the power to make a spiritual projection of myself to do the typing for me. Yeah, that totally makes sense. Either way, shit’s going down.
Big Zam slowly walked down the desolate streets of Tokyo and eventually spotted Godzilla in the distance. “Psssh some oversized lizard is no match for the sheer power of BIG ZAM!” Said Dozle Zabi with a smirk.
Godzilla paid little mind to the slowly approaching machine as he continued to crush buildings and stomp around. Unfortunately for Big G, his back was turned for what was about to happen next.
“With this weapon, I will destroy you in one fell swoop!” Said the disgruntled Japanese man. Big Zam was putting all of its energy into one powerful attack… The Large Mega Particle Gun- seriously is that the best name they could think of? Sounds like it was named by a fucking 2nd grader! OK, either way, it’s a beam, and it’s big. The blast shot Godzilla directly in the back, and while it did not do enough to destroy Godzilla, it did destroy part of his hide leaving a patch of flesh exposed. Godzilla roared out in pain, and at that point, it was officially “on.”
That One Guy walked by the giant dildo, and paid it no mind. Texting his girl was more important after all.
Knuckles walked out of the gym since he had nothing better to do. He looked at the sign that read “THIS WAY TO TOKYO >” but since he could not read, he just saw the arrow sign. “Well, if it tells me to go that way there’s probably some sweet butt to kick down there!” Knuckles jumped into the air, and then jumped again, and again, and again, and again, to Tokyo.
Skunk was keeping close watch on his dojo, when suddenly something flew right into it. Something black, something… spinning?
“Hey mister what are you doing here?” Inquired the skunk.
“You *vomits* are black so I thought *vomits* you might be almost as edgy as I am *coughs* so will you be… my *vomits* waifu?”
“What’s a waifu?”
“Oh. Well then. I’ll see myself out then.” Shadow flew out the door once again, leaving Skunk to wonder what the heck just happened. Well, I gotta keep this dojo in good shape for Master Panda thought Skunk as he got to work cleaning the vomit off the floor. This is grosssss do I have to do this? thought Skunk as he stopped trying to after less than a minute.
Sane walked out of the movie theater and into the street dejectedly. He paused for a moment as he heard a window break. Sam Burgess, now ever so slightly drunk, couldn’t be bothered with the door. Sam Burgess looked at Sane, and started running straight at him. Oh shit, thought Sane.
The Sun still lies in wait for its first strike, but rest assured, it shall rise to the occasion soon enough.
TUNE IN FOR CHAPTER 2 WHERE MORE FIGHTING HAPPENS PROBABLY
Last edited by Lohuydahutt; 11-26-2015 at 09:31 AM.
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
I'm very happy with my choices
Also I love how you narrate yourself in the 1st person
Lmao this is fucking glorious.
It's like we gave you two sticks and chewing gum and you made the fucking Eiffel Tower with em
That is awesome.
Bon Vivant of Violet
this is brilliant
mom said its my turn to have mod back
So the sun's totally just going to solar flare the Earth from space, right?
Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!Spoiler:
Well, the small patch of land perpetually floating in space that's left of earth yeah.
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
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