Frank is perf
Frank is perf
Originally Posted by Juiz
Chapter 6
Captain Jack Sparrow pulled out two flintlock pistols and fired both at the serpent simultaneously. It seemed to have little effect.
“See there! I tried to vanquish the beast with my ultimate attack but it failed! This creature must be impossible to defeat, so let us cut our losses and escape while we still can.” Jack Sparrow said.
“Man fuck that shit, I’m gonna kick his ass you watch me!” Rob Ford said before charging at the serpent.
“His confidence is just infectious!” Drew Brees said.
“You guys are hopeless,” Jack Sparrow muttered under his breath. Jack Sparrow stood back to shoot at the serpent with his pistols. Not because he actually thought it’d accomplish anything, but more so because it gave him excuse to stay as far away from the serpent as possible.
Meanwhile Rob Ford rushed at the serpent, and the serpent simply grabbed him by the shirt in its mouth. Rob Ford flailed his arms to no avail, he was pretty much helpless. If it wasn’t for Drew Brees taking the initiative anyways.
“Jack, back me up!” Drew Brees said.
“You see I would but I am in an unfortunate position. You see, I find myself without any more bullets or powder, so with that in mind perhaps it would be best to leave. Just putting that concept out there, not suggesting anything.” Jack Sparrow said.
Drew Brees had no interest in that. He took out his football, and threw it at the serpent. Brees aimed well and the football ended up hitting the serpent straight in the eye, forcing it to drop Ford into the water. Drew Brees ran to the water to save him but…
“Woah, how the hell are you doing that?” Rob Ford said. Drew Brees was standing on top of the water, reaching out to Ford.
“I have no clue really, but right now, I’m here to help you out,” Drew Brees said.
“I can get myself out thank you very much!” Rob Ford replied. Well, he was only in about 4 foot deep water.
“Well I went through all of the effort of helping you out so you could at least give me the satisfaction here OK?” Drew Brees said.
“Ummm… Drew?” Rob Ford said suddenly looking a bit fearful.
“What?”
“Behind you.”
Drew Brees turned around to see the serpent looking straight at both of them.
“Well crap,” Drew Brees said.
“HAHA, SUCK IT!” the great Demiurge said from above. They did not hear him.
Well, they’re goners, Captain Jack Sparrow thought. He whistled and walked away.
“So this where we go out huh?” Rob Ford said, surprisingly calmly.
“Guess so,” Drew Brees said.
The serpent was just about to eat them aliveeeeeeeeeeeeeee but then…
“HEY! SNAKE THING!” Saitama yelled out.
The serpent turned around to look on the average looking bald guy in a cape. Saitama jumped at the serpent and punched it in the face, killing it instantly.
Drew Brees and Rob Ford returned to land, and Captain Jack Sparrow greeted them with a grin.
“Let us celebrate this momentous occasion, where we have prevailed!” Jack Sparrow handed out another bottle of rum to each of them (and a bottle for himself, of course). How many bottles of rum does he have with him? … Enough.
Saitama stared blankly at the three while they celebrated. They were all completely ignoring him in spite of the fact that he saved them. Saitama sighed and walked away.
Meanwhile the great Demiurge was planning his next line of attack.
Gavril T65 pulled up next to Homura. Homura watched the doors on the cargo box fly open, and coming out of the darkness was a familiar face.
“MADOKA?” Homura cried out.
“Homura, I have something to tell you,” she said.
“What is it?” Homura couldn’t tell if she should be afraid or excited by what was about to happen next.
“... I’m straight,” Madoka said.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, ” Homura fell onto her hands and knees and tears started welling up in her eyes.
Madoka disappeared into the cargo box and the doors slammed shut. Gavril T65 drove away.
Frank West came out of the closet, and the lion did too. Meanwhile in another part of the mall a metrosexual Asian kid and a paralyzed dude were exploring the premises. This is going to make for a great fight now won’t it? xP
rangernumberx stood across from Lincoln Chafee, the Ghost Rider.
Rocket1908 in a water ninja costume stood across from Captain Falcon.
Fire vs Water or whatever. Let’s do this shit.
Lincoln Chafee spit out some hellfire at ranger, but he deflected it by spinning his trident and then attempted to jab at Chafee with it. He ended up jabbing in between the ribs so it hit nothing.
“FALCON KICK!” Captain Falcon yelled out as he tried to attack Rocket1908. Rocket1908 took a step to the side and then threw another water balloon at Captain Falcon’s head. It seemed to have little effect, and the penguin had no idea why.
Ranger used the water in the air to form a decent sized sphere of water, and hurled it at Lincoln Chafee’s head. It evaporated upon impact.
Rocket1908 threw yet another water balloon at Captain Falcon. Captain Falcon was getting annoyed more than anything now.
“COME ON!” he said.
“How the fuck are you still alive m8?” Rocket1908 said.
It was time to try something else then.
Lincoln Chafee grabbed Ranger, and looked him straight in the eye. This was the penance stare. Ranger saw all of the pain he inflicted on others… he felt all of it… and it wasn’t that much, tbh. Lincoln Chafee was caught off guard by how unmoved Ranger was, and Ranger saw that as his chance. He stabbed Lincoln Chafee with the trident and tossed him into the ocean.
“God save the Queen,” Ranger said triumphantly.
Rocket1908 was now in a color swap of his previous costume. He was a fire ninja now :OOOOOOOOOOO
Rocket1908 squirted some hot sauce at Captain Falcon, this too seemed to have little effect. Captain Falcon was getting tired of the penguin’s shit, and went for the you-probably-know-what.
“FALCON, PAAAWWWWWNNNNNCHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Rocket1908 was seemingly incinerated by the punch, “YES!”
But that was only what Rocket1908 wanted him to believe. He reappeared a safe distance away from Captain Falcon and walked away. Such is the perk of being a fire ninja.
Meanwhile, the battle over who gets to kill Sam was starting.
“Hey Log can’t we just ban ‘em?” Poles asked.
“Yeah probably,” I said.
Poles tried to set his hammer to permaban, but for some reason it wouldn’t do anything.
“Log it’s not working :c”
“Must be something wrong with the control panel, probably.”
“Darn, at least that’s not the only way we can beat them : D”
“Indeed.”
Kermit opened fire with his A to the motherfucking K and we both ducked under cover.
“So Poles, how are we gonna beat this guy?”
“It’s just a frog with a gun mang, it shouldn’t be that hard.”
Poles got out from under cover while Kermit was reloaded, rushed him down, and RKO’D HIM OUTTA NOWHERE
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH
OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH
OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Kermit survived it just fine, pulled out a wad of cash, and said, “Yo Tyrone, you gonna help me or what?”
“Why of course!” Tyrone replied. Tyrone put on a white fedora, and then put a pink fedora over the white fedora.
MLG MODE: ACTIVATE!
He pulled out a 2D bottle of Mountain Dew and DRANK THE WHOLE THING OHMAGAWD. He pulled out a 2D sniper rifle and started #noscoping some n00bs. He managed to hit both of us, but we were both able to regenerate from the wounds. I tried shooting some MAGICAL electricity at Tyrone and he responded by casting some chain lightning of his own. The lightning seemed to be of equal strength, but then Tyrone 420 Blaze’d it causing his attack to overwhelm me and send me crashing into the DZS Facility.
“Woah man, where did you come from?” Shaggy said.
“Why are YOU here? Oh well, no matter, I still need to lynch Sam,” I said and flopped back outside to rejoin the fight.
“Oh man… Something tells me that I have to like, do something other than sitting around eating,” Shaggy said to himself. No shit Shaggy, no shit.
Sam had no idea if he should be sad or flattered that everybody is fighting over who gets to kill him, but either way it didn’t feel right just standing idly waiting to get killed. It was about time to fight back against his fate.
While Rocket1908 was making his escape he ended up bumping into Upchuck.
“Get out of my way m8,” Rocket1908 said.
“Where did you come from?” Uphcuck replied with a question.
“Australia m8, why you ask?”
“That wasn’t what I meant…”
But something about this penguin’s shape seemed compelling…
Guardian shot fired at random upon the grid of cards, but the cards kept on simply vanishing and then reappearing. This was charging up his super meter pretty well though. Seeing that this was having little effect, Guardian tossed a solar grenade at the cards, setting a big chunk of the cards on fire. They turned to cinders but reappeared afterwards; however, this process was noticeably slower than it usually was. Seeing that this line of attack was more effective, Guardian went up to the cards, hit the closest by cards with a scorch, backed away, then hit them with two more grenades. He then tried to mow down the rest of them with a machine gun. At the point when his magazine became empty, there were only two cards remaining. The cards started multiplying outwards again until the grid was restored. Guardian’s attempts to stop it with his shotgun but it failed to slow them down significantly. The cards then formed into two vertical lines, and then wrapped around the Guardian making two spinning rings around him. One card flew straight at Guardian, cutting into him. Then another, and another. Guardian didn’t want to do this but he had to use his ace in the hole so to speak.
Guardian thrust his hand upwards and was enveloped in light. This was his radiance ability. The card continued to attack but it seemed to have little effect. Guardian hit one of the two ring of cards with scorch and the ring of cards turned into a ring of fire. The remaining cards regrouped in the same grid-like pattern, but this was what Guardian wanted. He tossed another solar grenade at the cards, but this time the blast was large enough to envelop all of them in flames. All of the cards turned into ash, and they did not regenerate. The light enveloping Guardian’s body disappeared and he let out a sigh in relief. It was over…
Spoiler:
... For the Guardian. See, there actually was one last Ace of Spades card remaining, and it was the real one. It was levitating behind Guardian the whole tim. And when the Guardian dropped his radiance, it turned 90º and flew straight through the Guardian’s heart. Moral of the story: Ace of Spades is a magic motherfucker.
(Also just as a note, the reason the Guardian couldn’t come back to life this time was because the fireborn ability ONLY works when he has an unused supercharge. And yes, I am trying to logically justify the death of a Guardian by the hands of a fucking card, deal with it.)
Captain Old Fred was in his yellow submarine once more, and he felt some hatred welling up inside of him. For some reason, he instinctively knew where to drive the yellow submarine next.
Katsura Otoko was still just kind of waiting around. You’ll have your time soon, I promise mang.
HE LIVES IN HIS OWN HEAVU-U-U-U-UN COLLECTS IT TO GO FROM A SEVEN-ELEVU-U-U-U-UN SO YEAH CHAPTER SEVEN’S UP NEXT!
Last edited by Lohuydahutt; 12-29-2015 at 02:54 AM.
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
Bon Vivant of Violet
Just as i envisioned him... a smartass and an absolute pain. Lovely
mom said its my turn to have mod back
Gangsta Kermit and Tyrone are my favorite
Reading the Ranger-Chafee fight and the Tyrone/Kermit/Polar/You segment was the highlight mang.
Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!Spoiler:
Poor Saitama, I really feel for him
Kerm term
Tao of Blue
Guess you can't guard from a card.
Juiz: You can quote me on this: Klonoa is my favorite son.
Bon Vivant of Violet
Psst just saying Guardians have a radar that covers all directions and shows what direction enemies are in so he'd be able to see a red dot behind him the whole time
that is all
Go Breesus
Spoiler:
I mean, I would imagine a radar wouldn't be designed to detect a fucking card but what do I know? Maybe it had a MAGICAL anti-radarerer or something
maybe
idk
shut up
Spoiler:
I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
