Almost Fucking Anything Battle Royale/AFABR Round 2

[Lohuydahutt]

Save me one spot pls, i'll sign up tomorrow :P

It has been reserved.

But I'm still not going to allow any more character changes after this hour ends for anyone else just so I can start like, actually planning and shit.

[YellowNerd]

I'm changing my CoD Ghost to :

Name : Katsura Otoko
Where it's from : Japanese Urban Legends/Folklore
Arena : The earth??

[Lohuydahutt]

Alright, I'm letting Clemi add his guys later, and I guess if somebody else new ends up adding some guys as well between now and then I'll allow it, but for all of you guys who already signed up? For the sake of my sanity, no more character changes will be accepted =P

[Rocket]

I'll try and fill you in on what i remember about my penguin character within the next 2-3 days

[Lohuydahutt]

I'll try and fill you in on what i remember about my penguin character within the next 2-3 days

alright thanks, that will help certainly

[Rocket]

I figured youd probably need it

[Clemi]

The bully we can see at the beggining of Dis Rap For Hire Season 2 Episode 2
Dis Rap for Hire
Makers Studio


Big Man Tyrone
Big Man Tyrone's official channel/tipee
Behind his desk

[sane]

The bully we can see at the beggining of Dis Rap For Hire Season 2 Episode 2
Dis Rap for Hire
Makers Studio


Big Man Tyrone
Big Man Tyrone's official channel/tipee
Behind his desk

isnt that hiimrawn

[Lohuydahutt]

Oh well, OK, now Sign Ups are officially CLOSED

expect the prologue either tomorrow or the day after that :3

also if anybody wants to do an analysis they can that probably helps

[Lohuydahutt]

Ah well, DOUBLE POST TIME

Prologue

The moon shines upon the coastal town of Idon’tfuckingknow, North Carolina… yeah. The sun is long gone for continuity’s sake but SOMEHOW the moon shines brightly anyway, because fuck science. Waves break on the shoreline and well, yeah, shit’s about to go down.

On its east side, there is well, the Atlantic Ocean, oh how vast. To its south is the Superdome, because we airlifted it all the way up here because fuck you that’s why. And to the north is Buckingham Palace because fuck you we airlifted that too somehow. If you can’t tell, this town is also poorly planned out. It has a giant ass mall on one end, and a beach on the other. In between the two are certain things such as a random ass warehouse, a hotel, the DZS Facility for some reason, a bar, a popeyes, an igloo for some reason idk why, a building with a boxing ring inside, and then towering over all of them is our great Mod Watch Tower (also airlifted over here somehow). Here’s a basic map of the place.

Spoiler: 

Now for the contestants and shit.

---

Welcome to the night time in Idon’tfuckingknow, North Carolina.

A black sedan slowly rolls down the street. Inside of it is a doofy looking dude wearing a business suit looking around for a certain something. President Lincoln Chafee was poised to host his next “State of the Union Address” at the nearest bar. Soon enough he found a bar, creatively titled “A Bar.” But it appeared all the parking spots were taken. He drove further down the street, and saw what looked like an open space up ahead. When he got there, he saw to his horror… That somebody’s van was taking up two parking spaces.

“Come on, you’re being a little rough on me,” sighed Lincoln Chafee. But he wasn’t really surprised, in fact, he has seen all of this before. But thanks to the power of loopholes in my rules, here he is again. But this time, he had a mission. There seemed to be a lot of empty spaces at the mall, so he started heading over there.

---

And yes, there was somebody in the bar. He was a… big boned man, and he uhhh… sure knew how to properly handle those tax dollars I guess…?

“WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF BAR IS THIS! DID THEY REALLY WASTE TAXPAYER MONEY ON THIS PIECE OF SHIT?” (They didn’t :c) Robert Ford was officially drunk out of his mind. He tossed an empty bottle of beer at the wall for no reason, stumbled, and fell onto the floor.

---

Welcome to the Mod Tower… Where absolutely nothing happens.

“Hey Sam,” said a polar bear.
“What is it?” said the JEW.
“You suck.”
“I disagree.”

Sam got rekt. Sam then looked out the window.

“Um, Polar, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” Sam said nervously.
“Shut up Sam,” Polar replied.
“Seriously, look out the window,” Sam said.

Polar looked out the window.

“I’m heading out,” Polar said.
“Should I come with?” Sam asked.
“Ew no,” Poles replied.
“Oh,” Sam said dejectedly.

Polar grabbed his banhammer and a pear and headed out. Sam sighed and continued to be a jew. He looked around the room and then suddenly looked confused.

“... wait, where did Log go?” Sam said randomly.

---

Meanwhile in the basement of the DZS Facility, there was a totally random baby harp seal wearing a lab coat. He also had a big moustache for some reason, idk why. He was going through some research papers while listening to some Modest Mouse.

Well you got the perfect disguise and you’re looking okay
To the bottom of the best to the worst well what can I say?

As he looked through the papers he paid no mind to the growling caged zombie nearby, ‘twas all part of the scenery. He was Professor Total E. KnotLog.

---

Meanwhile in the Atlantic Ocean, a reasonably large vessels drifts near shore. In spite of its size, there was only one man on board. He was Johnny Depp, cosplaying as Bob Marley, who was cosplaying as a pirate. This man was Captain Jack Sparrow. He finished his bottle of rum and dropped his anchor. It was time to find some of dat booty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

---

Alas, he was not the only captain at sea. A yellow periscope pops out of the water, and looks around.

“By Neptune’s knickerbockers, I’ve hit land!” said Captain Old Fred. He and his yellow submarine were in for a ride.

---

And might as well mention the last one at sea. On a sheet of ice that drifted too far south lay a light gray seal with mottled black markings. It rolled over on its side. Don’t see those around here. This was an adult harp seal, and coincidentally, it’s also my mom. She who abandoned me when I was 12… Days old. Now she’s back for some reason.

---

A man in a skintight suit was driving around in a blue future car. He stopped when a sign caught his eye. “PUNCH Out…? … YES!” Captain Falcon said.

---

Inside the building was a boxing ring, and in that boxing ring was a muscular stereotypical Japanese man. This muscular Japanese man was wearing a turban for some reason. He had no intent of leaving this ring, he was going to let the fight come to him. Piston Hondo performed a rapid flurry of punches in the air as practice for whatever sucker was going to face him next.

---

Meanwhile in the lobby of the creatively named “A Hotel” there was like, the smartest dude in a wheelchair since Proffesor X. He was paralyzed for the most part, but that’s not going to stop him. He could not talk on his own, but that’s why he had a special keyboard at his fingertips.

“Let’s do this shit,” said the automated voice. This was Stephen Hawking.

He was not alone in that lobby, some random douchey looking guy was also there. He spotted a bowl full of peppermints and he smiled.

---

Next up was a metrosexual Asian guy on a motorcycle. He had only 10 days left before he disappeared for good, but he had been offered all fifteen eyecons if he managed to “outlive” everybody else in this fight. Naturally, he took up the offer. Now he was in a completely unfamiliar area, and he wanted some help getting around. He saw a strange looking green, blue, and orange van, and noticed that there seemed to be someone inside. He pulled up beside the van and knocked on the window. Takeru Tenkuji watched as the window rolled down and smoked drifted out of the window.

“Hello, I um, am not from around here. Do you know your way around?” Takeru spoke in a Japanese accent but for the sake of convenience, was speaking English.
“I don’t like, know. I just got here man.” Shaggy Rogers replied.
“Oh well, thanks anyway!” Takeru said, and then drove off. Takeru just flat out disappeared.
“ZOINKS was that a g-g-g-g-GHOST?” Shaggy exclaimed, suddenly feeling the need to hide somewhere. Scooby Doo, where are you? Shaggy thought. Scooby wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

That was not the only one who drove by Shaggy though. A semi-trailer truck carrying an unmarked cargo box also drove by. What really stood out to Shaggy was that the Gavril T65 had no driver at all. I don’t want to be here any more man, Shaggy thought.

---

Then there was the Popeyes, where a man who (sadly) has an existent chance of becoming the next president was eating. He was a half asleep looking black man with Gifted Hands, this man was Dr. Ben Carson. He was aware that he was soon supposed to fight a bunch of people to the death, but he knew God was with him and would give him the strength to prevail or whatever idk mang it’s Ben fucking Carson.

---

Ben Carson truly was not alone though, since there was a shirtless muscular Polish dude hanging around the outside of the Popeyes. B.J. Blazkowicz with a pistol in hand was surveying the surrounding area, he didn’t just have to worry about Nazis any more.

---

Meanwhile in an unsuspecting warehouse, there was a dildo baby alien concrete thing just standing around. SCP 173 remained entirely motionless. The lights went out for a bit, and it was now in a different place a few meters to the left. Huh.

---

Not too far away, on the south side of the mall parking lot there stood a futuristic looking dude with a round golden helmet and a long coat. He was carrying an auto rifle. He knew victory was his… des- ok no that’s terrible. Either way he was ready to kick ass and take names.

---

Speaking of kicking ass, on the north side of the mall parking lot there was a random bald dude. He adorned a white cape, a yellow suit, as well as red gloves and boots. This man may seem kind of average and unsuspecting, but there was a tremendous amount of hidden power underneath that bald head of his. Saitama looked around in confusion, shrugged, and walked towards the mall.

---

Directly in front of the mall there was a stand with a wide variety of stuffed animals and other assorted toys, but one of them seemed a little out of place. Under normal circumstances, Kermit would have blended right in, but he had a fedora, sunglasses, and an AK-47 on him, it kind of sticks out. Gangster Kermit dropped to the ground and started walking. It was time.

---

Speaking of the mall, there was certainly a fair share of people inside. For starters, there was a reasonably well dressed man with a camera checking out a hardware store. Let’s see here… any chainsaws… nope… nope… nope… YES! Oh but it’s electric :c thought Frank West as he browsed through the store. He was a man who had the experience necessary to win this fight, after all, he covered wars y’know.

---

In another section of the mall, there was an… interesting shop. It was a store where you could request a nice black guy in a suit from the UK to make a video for you. Big Man Tyrone stood at his desk with a smile on his face, patiently awaiting his next customer.

---

In yet another section of the mall, a girl calmly walked out of a gun shop. She had long black hair, a white and gray uniform, and a bored look on her face. This fine young lady was Homura Akemi. Even when the mall was seemingly empty, she hated the atmosphere of it. She started heading towards the door. Homura paid no mind as she stepped on a lone Ace of Spades playing card lying on the floor.

---

For some reason, there was also an igloo in North Carolina? How? *shrugs* In that igloo was a lone blue penguin, though this penguin was not your average penguin. For starters, it looked like this

Spoiler: 

(Let’s just say he looked like that without the tags.) Rocket 1908 waddled around the igloo and watched it slowly melt to his dismay. He quickly got out of the house, with good timing too. Because a few seconds later the entire igloo collapsed on itself.

---

There was also a run down looking RV lying around on the grass on the north side of the town. Its unassuming exterior gave no hint as to the beast within. It was green, it was short, it was fat, and that’s about it. Upchuck was looking rather confused, he had been in this form for about an hour by now and he still hasn’t changed back to his normal state. Something was up.

---

North of the RV was something far more prestigious. Packed with beautiful gardens and nice looking architecture, it was a place that was fit for royalty. But Buckingham Palace was being hijacked by a random sucky British bloke. So now all we get is fucking ranger. Ranger was standing outside in the courtyard admiring the statue of Queen Victoria… and that’s about it.

---

Then there was the south side, where there was the Superdome… which is a dome shaped football stadium if you couldn’t guess. You see where this is going right? Inside the dome, there was a lone man standing in the center of the field. He was wearing a black and gold football uniform, and he was well, carrying a football. Otherwise he was a somewhat average looking dude. Point is, this was Drew Brees.

---

In some unidentified location, there was an open field surrounded by forest. In this beautiful landscape, a lion roamed. This lion may have been alone in this world, but hey, at least his rule was unopposed. Aslan let out a great mighty roar, and then just kind of paced around.

---

But some folks were above all of this, quite literally. There was a peculiar creature standing on a cloud, and it appeared to be a griffon of some sort. “Look at all those dweebs down there, they need someone like me to show ‘em how it’s done!” Gilda said. She then swooped down towards the arena, ready to do just that.

---

There was also another being watching over the arena, but this one was from… THE MOON! Or whatever. He took the form of some weird fluffy mist, but for some reason he was supposed to be incredibly attractive. Either way, point is, this thing was the Katsura Otoko

---

And finally, floating perpetually in space was our last contestant. He was watching over every single fighter calmly, he was not exactly God but he wasn’t too far from it. He had the head of a lion, and the body of a snake. This was the Demiurge.

OK yeah whatever let’s do this.

TUNE IN FOR CHAPTER ONE WHERE ACTUAL FIGHTING AND DEATH HAPPENS :3