Chapter 7: Obamanation
The president's body has been found, but the killer has not.
The city is in complete shambles. With no witnesses, everybody in the city could be the killer or an accomplice.
Of course, this is going to have a negative impact on some of the people in the game right now. Let's see of any of them can get anything done!
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The police thought that it was too big of a coincidence that Stephen King, who some conspiracy theorists believe murdered John Lennon in New York, was in New York at the time of the president's death. That's enough of a probable cause, right? He was brought to a local police station to be questioned.
"This is bullcrap! I've been at the zoo all day, how could I possibly murder a president? Hell, the conspiracy theory even states that I was hired by the government to kill Lennon, why would I kill the guy in charge of the government if it was true? Not that I'm saying it is true." Stephen King said, irritated.
"Anyone and anybody is a suspect, Mr. King. We're doing what we need to do to keep the nation safe and to bring justice to this vile, disgusting, pathetic excuse of a human. You're already a suspected murderer, and with some of the things you've written about, I don't think anyone would be surprised if you were." the guard replied, with a calm demeanor.
"Let me go right now or I'll make you regret it." King said, with a
smirk on his face.
"Are you threatening me?" the guard said, with obvious fear in his voice.
"Not with violence, no. I can do a lot worse than that."
"I.. I can't! I can't let someone who might have been Obama's assassin go!"
"Suit yourself."
Then all of the lights went off for the guard. He wasn't unconscious, no, but he wasn't in the police station either.
This was the realm of nightmares.
King left the guard to roll around on the floor screaming as he casually strolled out of the police station.
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Nobody suspected Henson of being involved in a crime. How could someone who looks like that possibly be a murderer?
Henson found a store that sold Muppet toys. Sadly for him, it wasn't going to be that easy, and the whole store was filled with cops questioning the workers.
Henson paid no mind to what was going on around him. He grabbed a Kermit puppet and went straight to buy it. Since the cashier was being questioned, he had to wait there for a while.
"I am very sad about what happened to the president, and I hope justice comes to those who perpetrated the crime. However, it was not me who did it, and I trust my friends enough to say that they didn't take part in it either. Now, please, there's a man behind you who's trying to buy something." the cashier said to a cop.
"Wait, what happened?" Henson asked.
"The president was murdered this morning in the Lotte New York Palace Hotel. We've apprehended two people we believe took part in the crime, but we have not found the murderer himself." the cop replied.
"Oh, that's awful! I sincerely hope that the man or woman responsible for the crime is brought to justice. Death is always a shame, especially when it comes early."
"I hope so too," the cop said, "but death won't be a shame when it comes to the motherfucker who did this."
Henson was startled by the anger and cursing, but did not say anything. This man had clearly been affected by the death of the president.
"Alright, well, I think I can trust the both of you. I'll be going on my way, then." the cop said, leaving.
Henson approached the cashier to buy the Kermit puppet.
"This for one of your kids?" the cashier asked.
"This isn't for one of my children, but it is for a child I know. You might have noticed I already had a Kermit puppet.", Henson said, mouthing the words with his puppet, "She wanted mine, but I need it, so I decided to buy her a different one."
"Oh. That's cute. Here you go!"
Henson left the store with the new puppet, and hid his own in a place where he'd easily be able to find it. He returned to the family and gave the girl her new toy.
"Enjoy it, kiddo."
He went to where he hid Kermit and, to his surprise, it was gone.
"Wow." was all he could say.
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Remember when the guard said two perpetrators had been apprehended? He was talking about Julius Caesar and William Wallace, who, as you know, had nothing to do with Hannibal's plan. Arresting Wallace made sense, he did cause the disruption that distracted the guards, but Caesar was arrested just for being with Willy when they asked if the president was in the building. They were now being questioned by the police.
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Here's Willy first.
"i swar on me mum, copper, i had nuffin to do with this", Willy said, "it was a hell of coincidence is all."
"Well, tell me, why did you run into the building and attack the guards?" the cop asked.
"i thought it'd be fun"
"Right. Tell me the truth."
"alright, fine. me and luigi there in the other room wanted to kill the president and take over the country. we had no plan on how to do that tho."
"You just admitted to planning to kill the president."
"yeah, but i didn't actually kill him or anyfin i just thought about it yknow what's so bad about that."
"There's a lot wrong with that. Even if it was unintentional, your actions led to the death of the president."
"well get better security guards then it aint my fault."
"This is not a joke."
"just let me go now i did nothing wrong"
"Let you go? You're getting a death sentence. You've committed an act of treason and indirectly murdered the president."
"i was fighting for my freedom"
"Freedom? What freedom do you need? You have plenty of it."
This question stumped Willy. He sat there for a good minute making "uhhhh" and "uhmmmm" sounds.
"You disgust me." the cop said as he left the room, leaving Willy by himself.
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Now Caesar.
"I swear on my mother, sir, I had nothing to do with that crime. It was a coincidence that I asked about the president right before that savage ran in there and did that." Caesar said.
"Well, your friend over there says that you and him planned on it beforehand. Said the two of you were trying to overthrow the president."
"Dammit, you idiot. Why would you tell them that? You just threw both of us under the bus. Wait.. maybe I can still get out of this." Caesar thought to himself.
"Did you see the guy? He's clearly insane." Caesar said.
"Well, you're right, but there's nothing to prove you aren't. You did both ask the same guard about the president."
"Well, actually, I never asked about the president. I was asking why the hotel was so heavily guarded before he rudely interrupted to ask about the president. I didn't think much of it, but it's clear that he saw the opportunity to ask and took it."
"Now that you put it that way.. you're right. Nothing the guard told us about the conversation implied that you were asking about the president, just that you were curious about the place. Sorry for the inconvenience, you're free to go.
And Caesar left. As he walked out the door, he mumbled "oh hell yeah" under his breath.
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Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is yet to come.
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Master Chief's subway stopped at the 15th Street – Prospect Park station and was instantly flooded by cops.
They questioned everyone on the subway, but nobody said anything suspicious.. until they got to Master Chief himself.
"Sir, we're gonna need you to take that suit off." the guard commanded him.
"I'm afraid it's not that easy. This thing's, like, 1000 pounds." Chief replied.
"We need to. You could be hiding something under it."
"I have nothing to hide. Want to see my guns? Take them." Chief handed the officer his guns.
"Why would you need all of these in public? Hell, an assault rifle? We're gonna need to arrest you."
"Please don't. I've been on the subway all day. Just take them."
"You're under arrest."
"Not so fast."
Chief punched the cop in the face, grabbed his guns, and ran out of there. How's he gonna get out of trouble this time?
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A Bear felt lonely with the lack of visitors.
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Beethoven's doctor never came, as the hospital was flooded with police before he could. An officer walked into the room.
"DO DOCTORS DRESS LIKE THAT IN THE FUTURE?" Beethoven shouted.
"Oh, I'm sorry about my friend, he's a deaf.. amnesiac." the man explained to the officer.
"Hey, keep it down, okay? I'll handle this." the man wrote on the paper for Beethoven to see.
"OKAY" Beethoven replied.
"So, what do you need?" the man asked the officer.
"The president has been found dead. We suspect Donald Trump of being involved, and heard he was in this hospital." the guard replied.
"Wow.. really?" the man said, then paused for a second.
"Well, we knew nothing about this. I'm sorry." the man told the officer.
"It's fine. I'll move along then." the officer said, leaving the room.
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Donald Trump was sleeping in his room before 5 different guards entered it.
"We've got you now, Trump!" one of them yelled.
"Wait, what? What happened?" Trump replied, sleepily.
"You know what happened, Barack Obama's dead," the guard explained, "and rumors say you paid someone to do it."
Trump had no emotional reaction to this news.
"Nooooooooooo, what? I love people, and I have a great relationships with the blacks. Just ask Jay Z! I would never do such a thing." he said.
"This has nothing to do with race, Mr. Trump. This has to do with the president of the United States, who you aren't too fond of, being found dead in his luxury hotel room."
"Well, I didn't know about it. Now leave me alone, will you? I'm trying to get some rest."
"We aren't convinced yet.
"Convince THIS!" Trump yelled as he threw his lamp at the police officers. He was just grumpy about being woken up.
They did not hesitate to fire at Trump, who had started the fight. Trump laid defenseless in his hospital bed as all 5 men emptied their magazines into him.
"Wait, crap, why'd we do that? It was just a lamp. He probably only did it because we were interrupting his sleep." one of the guards said.
"Meh." the other four replied.
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Hannibal Lecter loved the carnage that he caused. He also loved the taste of the president's brain, which he had finished just a few minutes ago. He left the trash bag with the rest of the president's head in an alleyway and made his way over to Times Square.
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Walt Disney and Dr. Phil arrived at Times Square. To their dismay, there was barely anyone there due to the death of the president.
"Well, crap. Guess we're gonna need to do this tomorrow." Phil said.
"Alright, no rush. It'll all be worth it in the end." Disney said, containing laughter.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing. Want to show me around this place?"
"Alright, sure."
And they went around Times Square to look at the stores there.
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RoboHAL entered the Empire State Building.
"Take me to the 102nd floor, please." he said to someone at the entrance.
"You need to pay for that."
RoboHAL took out his gun and pointed it at the worker.
"Whoa! Okay, here's a ticket. Please don't kill me."
"You need to pay for that.", he said, as he riddled her with bullets.
He then took the elevator up and got to the 102nd floor.
This wasn't high enough, so he broke through a window and climbed up to the tip of it.
"And now I'll need to put myself onto the tip and I should have control over the building." he said to himself.
And he did take himself off of RoboCop. What he didn't know was that doing this would make him lose control of RoboCop.
"Murphy's back in control, creep. Justice will be served for whatever you did with my body."
"This wasn't what I was expecting."
"Hope you can fly." Murphy said, sarcastically, as he threw HAL off of the building.
HAL sang Daisy Bell on his way down.
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Gandhi was still relaxing at the botanic garden.
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Jack the Ripper lost the girl when she walked into a crowd and a police officer approached him.
"Excuse me, mister, would you happen to have any information about the president's assassination? Anything helps." the guard asked him.
"Nope! If you can't tell from my accent, I'm on vacation. Good day, sir!"
Jack tried to find her, but he couldn't.
"I can't give up on this, that girl deserves nothing but death. I will follow this crowd forever if I have to." he thought to himself.
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Boba Fett waited for Deadpool. What was taking him so long?
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Deadpool tried everything to get the attention of the OP 3. He tried smacking them with dildos, offering to tell them who killed the president, and he promised to help them win the battle royale. Nothing was helping.
Eventually, he gave up, and teleported back over to Boba.
"Well? How'd it go?" Boba asked.
"Dude, you have no idea. I was like pew pew pew and they were like noooo and then they all died. You should've seen it."
"You're lying to me."
"Yeah, but that's how it should've been written. By the way, Hannibal Lecter killed the president. We'll be heroes if we kill him."
"Hmm.. we could get some good money off of that."
"Yeah probably."
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Originally Posted by Ye Merry Turtle
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