OC Village

[GonadTheNomad]

TBH I just wanted a Jack Harkness type but it developed to be way more OP...

[Turtlesauce]

Yay :3 sweet analysis, Loh, ty :3

[Moonjik]

Woah great analysis Log

[Turtlesauce]

Cremation

Looking at 'em all, I realized I was up to my neck in seven shades of shite. The mayor seemed like a total bad-arse. I wouldn't never wanna be in his face, ever. Gleeson and Larkson're on the same page. They're the brooding types of fellas, as dangerous as a bag of badgers. The Hobo and the Idiot? Frankly, I don't know how they survived all this time, ye couldn't boil an egg between em! What? Oh, that's an ole Irish saying. Means they're useless. So far, I've taken a liking towards Ole Hetty, Galvan, and Hibiki. They seem like the type you'd like to swing a pint towards. That leaves Slypha, and Loafa Bred.. They're.. eccentric, to say the least. Oh, right. I met Jericho that night.

The door opened softly but firmly. A shorter man in armor stepped forth, looking straight into the ground as he sat at the table.

Travis Parker: Nice of you to join us, Jericho.

Jericho faked a smile, then tended to the beer that Galvan brought him.

Parker: Alright, here's what we do. Larkson, Gleeson, you come with me. We'll inspect the forest, something's fishy. Hetty, you go to the graveyard, and talk to whoever you think might be good. The rest of you, stay here, and keep an eye on this Traveler. I don't like him one bit.

Jericho: What about -

Parker: Stay here, Jericho.

Parker, followed by Gleeson and Larkson, left the bar. A deadly silence fell over everyone. Almost everyone.

Loafa Bred: EYYY GUESS WHO-A BROUGHT THE OLIVE BREAD, EH?

Traveler: I guess I could go fer one, why the feck not?

Loafa Bred: Yeah but are-a you BREADY for it?

Hobo: BAWHAHWHWHAHAHAHAHHWHAHWHAHWHAHHWAHWHAH

Loafa Bred: EY, chill-a yo' bruschettas, eh?

Aunt Hetty: Alright, dearies, I'm off to the cemetery. Be nice, alright?

Aunt Hetty grabbed her bag, then left the bar.

The Hobo got up: DEATH IS IN A PURSE AND IT JINGLES NICELY. HELL CONSUMES TIME AS THE PURSE JINGLES!

He sat down.

Traveler: He's fecked in the head, or what?

Hibiki laughed: No.. no.. he's just a bit.. uhm.. special..

Galvan: Yeah, a special kind of crazy.

Traveler: Riiiight, okay then, I'll guess I'll be on me merry way!

He turned his head, and stared right into Sylpha's piercing eyes.

Slypha: YOU SHOULD REALLY STAY HERE :D I mean, as love as I'd like to take you out for a walk, Parker told us that -

A knock was heard on the bar door.

Galvan got up, and headed for it.

Jericho: He's gone.

Galvan: Huh?

Jericho: He knocked on the door and ran away. Something happened.

---

Parker: Larkson, do you sense anything?

Travis Parker, Jeremiah Gleeson and Larkson were in the forest.

Larkson: Hmm.. *sniff*... Strong perfume... Very strong...

Gleeson: Probably to mask his scent.

Larkson: So he has to be a very smelly enemy.

Gleeson: Or a very clever half-beast, who knows we could track them down by the smell.

Parker looked at them proudly, then he started sniffing.

Parker: Hey, do you?

Larkson: SMOKE!

Gleeson: To the village. NOW!

---

Hetty was in the cemetery, eating a cupcake. She was standing in front of the grave of Bernard McLewin, the former Stewart of the King. Hetty put the cupcake in her bag, and took out some chemicals. She poured them onto the grave, and she started dancing around the grave.

"Tereth, death and despair!", she cried out, reading from a little old book. "The earth, Shalt-an-anom!", she said, as he gracefully hopped over the grave. "ARISE, BAK-AK-KAB" she said one last time as she closed the book.

She used her whistle, and several purple sprites appeared. She reached her hand to one, and slammed it in the grave. The earth started shaking, and out came a skeleton that barely had any meat left on him. He got up, then crumbled to the ground.

Hetty: Hello, Bernie, dear!

Bernard McLewin: Ugh.. must resurrection always hurt in this way?

Hetty giggled.

Bernard: Nice to see you again, Hetty. What's the problem?

Hetty: Well, you see, Bernie, someone bought the village. We received a missive from the King.

Bernard: Hmm..

Hetty: Whoever could have done this?

Bernard: Well, let me see.. It could've been the King himself that wanted the village, but that's unlikely.. Must've been a wealthy family.. Either the Craichs, the O'Learies, or the Felds.. That is, unless the Wizard Council decided that -

Bernard was stopped short, when a laugh was heard behind Hetty, and the graves burst into flames.

Hetty immediately ran towards the exit of the cemetery, but she was weak because of the summoning, and she tripped. She looked up, and saw the sole of a boot heading towards her head.

---

When we all arrived, it was too late. The cemetery was ashes, and Hetty's body was burned to a crisp. Everyone was either sad, or furious. Me? I was glad.

I was glad that Parker was finally off me back.

To be continued...

[YellowNerd]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Good episode mang

[Poles]

oh crap :OOO

[Faker]

Oh man, I had a feeling [Hetty] would be the first out. She was way too useful for the plot to ignore her.

Good read!

[Turtlesauce]

Oh man, I had a feeling Hetty would be the first out. She was way too useful for the plot to ignore her.

Good read!

Thanks!

You should spoiler that, tho

[Klonoa]

I have a theory. I definitely have a theory that can easily be proved. This chapter proved it more, but I need more evidence. Great chapter! Actually, you surprised me. Shocking in the emotional sense.

[rangernumberx]

Rejected idea 1:- Forumers. Yes, of course this idea came across my mind before it was instantly casted out for being too joke-y. It would have most likely been me or Turtle, but it may have been Sam, sick of everyone treating him like s**t and so getting his own back on their creations. The arsenal of these characters would be based on their forum jokes and such, so I would have a trident, Turtle would have dildos, and so on. They would also have...I guess semi-omnipotence? Not knowing everything, that would be too far, but knowing more at once than an average guy would've. However, in the end, this would have also been a fairly predictable character type, as well as one in need of a serious buff.