there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
she had this really adorable dog
it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam
and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
and all of a sudden im a bad guy
and you don't love me anymore
i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right
everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems
nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
Originally Posted by Wumbo
Originally Posted by PolarBore
Originally Posted by Wumbo
SENT
lies
i never lie
Honest Wumbabe
Originally Posted by SuperRapz
Originally Posted by Rocket
Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
Holy crap, it's been a long while since the last episode. Kinda crazy how I used to crank out two of these a day..
Last time on Lost in Boston:
Bill, Ted, Jesus, Moses, Gandalf, Houdini, Angel, Sacajawea, Lump, Steve, and the Easter Bunny began the Freedom Trail.
Chuck Norris vaporized Superman and knocked out Muhammad Ali.
JFK is going to his own museum with the Sunglasses Elf.
Tesla convinced Vader he's a Sith Lord, and Vader has figured out the Doctor might not be human.
Loki is trying to get Stan Lee and Batman to bow down to him. Batman is resisting.
Krillin escaped Newbury Comics.
Blackbeard, Poseidon, and Edward Kenway have plans for the USS Constitution.
Skrillex was torn apart verbally by Edgar Allan Poe and seeks revenge.
Sherlock Holmes was torn apart verbally by Michael Bay and seeks revenge.
Nietzsche and Mr. Rogers swam to Magazine Beach.
Putin and Henry VIII swam to Boston University.
Genghis Khan is building an army of his family members. Confucius is following along.
The crowd carried Edgar Allan Poe to the front of Faneuil Hall, where they dropped him and continued on their day.
"Ouch!" Edgar Allan Poe yelled, getting up and inspecting his surroundings.
Skrillex walked out of Urban Outfitters and instantly knew where he was.
"Ugh! Why'd I wake up in this dump?" he said to himself.
He saw the man who had burned him just minutes ago running around the marketplace in confusion.
Skrillex clenched his fists and walked towards the man.
Edgar Allan Poe was at a hot dog stand.
"What's that?" he asked the worker, who gave him a weird look.
"Dude!"
Edgar Allan Poe looked behind him to see a red-faced Skrillex.
"That is one ugly duckling." Poe thought to himself.
"What you did back there was seriously messed up, bro! Do you even know who I am? What even are you? You look like a total creep. A weirdo. What are you even doing here?" Skrillex shouted at Poe.
The man running the hot dog stand knew something was going to go down, so he ran out of there as fast as he could. A bunch of tourists followed.
Edgar Allan Poe stayed silent.
"Ugh, you're so weird! Talk already!" Skrillex shouted.
Edgar Allan Poe stayed silent.
Skrillex ran in for a punch, knocking Poe down.
"How does it feel being knocked down? It happens to me constantly!" Skrillex said.
Skrillex took out a bass fish, put a grip on his new weapon, and dub-stepped towards Poe.
Skrillex dropped the bass on Poe's head.
It was.. not very effective.
"What was that?" Poe said, taking the bass off of his face.
"Oh.. I was expecting your face to explode when I did that." Skrillex explained.
Edgar Allan Poe got up.
"Well.. just leave me alone, alright?" Skrillex asked, defeated.
Skrillex walked away, but noticed it was getting darker. Too much darker..
After a few minutes, he was surrounded by complete darkness.
"What the hell?" Skrillex said to himself, looking around.
Skrillex looked down and noticed a red telephone, which he picked up.
He looked up and saw Edgar Allan Poe approaching him.
"CALL 911 NOW!" Skrillex yelled into the telephone, then tossed it down. He started to make weird hand motions.
Poe stopped, confused.
"What? Why'd you tell the phone to call 911?" Poe asked Skrillex.
"Isn't that supposed to give me telekinetic powers or something?" Skrillex replied.
"Clearly not." Poe replied.
Skrillex panicked and tried to run. He ran for 10 minutes straight, not looking back.
"Alright, he has to be gone now, right?" Skrillex thought to himself, stopping. He was exhausted.
He turned back to check for Poe.
Poe was standing right there.
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" Skrillex yelled, curling up into a ball and crying.
Poe hit Skrillex, knocking him down, and took out a knife.
Just as Poe was about to stab Skrillex, a cart of dubstep equipment rolled in and hit Poe, knocking him down.
Skrillex got up, put on his headphones, and began to play music. Suddenly, purple flames illuminated the area.
"Is there a blender in here?" Poe said to himself, getting up and looking at Skrillex.
"What's that?" Poe said, but Skrillex couldn't hear it through the noise.
Poe could see Skrillex rapping to himself, but could not make out the words. After a few seconds, Skrillex picked up his laptop and a disembodied voice boomed out "DROP YA!" as Skrillex tossed his laptop at Poe. The laptop caused an explosion that would put Michael Bay to shame as it hit Poe.
Spoiler:
SECOND DEATH: Edgar Allan Poe
After the explosion cleared up, Skrillex inspected Poe's body, whose bottom half had been taken off by the explosion.
"Huh.. now how do I get out of here?" Skrillex said to himself.
He searched Poe's body to see if he had anything of use with him. All Skrillex got was a knife to the stomach from a legless man on his last legs.
Spoiler:
ACTUAL SECOND DEATH: Skrillex
Poe tried to crawl away, but bled out shortly after.
Spoiler:
THIRD DEATH: Edgar Allan Poe
Mr. Rogers and Nietzsche were silently walking around Magazine Beach wondering how they got there. They were dripping wet from having to swim in the Charles River.
"So.. how do you think we got here, neighbor?" Mr. Rogers asked, breaking the silence.
Nietzsche looked at him angrily and continued walking.
"You alright?" Mr. Rogers asked.
Nietzsche ignored it and sped up his walking.
"Don't worry, friend, we're in the same situation. We can only figure this out together." Mr. Rogers said, calmly.
Nietzsche stopped and looked back.
"Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi." Nietzsche said, walking away again.
Mr. Rogers realized this guy wasn't very friendly, and stopped trying to talk to him.
Henry and Putin made it to BU Beach. Suddenly, a crowd of people formed around Putin.
A larger crowd formed around Putin. Henry got out of there and stared from a distance.
One of the people in the crowd made the mistake of putting their hands on Putin. Putin grabbed the person's arm and flipped him over with a shoulder throw. This startled the crowd of people.
"YOU WANT TO MESS WITH ME?!" Putin shouted at the crowd.
Everyone in the crowd ran away except for one person. This person was buff and was wearing sunglasses and an American flag shirt. This man was BKR3. (because he asked to be in this and didn't give me anything to go off of)
"MURICA!" the person yelled, running in to tackle Putin, knocking him down.
As the man went for a punch to the grounded Putin, Putin grabbed his arm and countered it into an armbar.
The man tapped out, but this was not a wrestling match or an MMA fight. Putin kept the hold until he heard the man's arm crack.
Putin got up and left the man screaming on the ground from a broken arm.
Henry watched the whole thing go down from a distance.
"Nice work!" Henry said.
Khan's army grew as he continued to walk through Chinatown with Confucius.
Michael Bay and Sherlock Holmes were at the back.
"You sure you want to do this? I'm not big on animal abuse." Michael Bay joked, spitting on Sherlock.
"This mustn't register on an emotional level..
First, distract target."
Holmes took out a bag of coins and dumped them on the floor. Bay instinctively went to try and pick them up.
"Then kick his ass."
Holmes kicked Bay in the ass as he was bent over, knocking him down.
"Then punch the stupid grin off of his face."
Holmes punched Bay in the face, knocking some of his teeth out.
"Then pick him up."
Holmes grabbed Bay by the neck and forced him up.
"In an attempt to fight back, he'll go for a kick to the nuts. Block the attack."
Holmes caught Bay's foot as it went for his groin and flipped him over.
"Then pick him up again."
Holmes grabbed Bay and hoisted him up on his shoulders.
"This guy's attitude needs adjusting."
Holmes slammed Bay to the ground John Cena style, knocking him out.
"My work here is done." Holmes said to himself, walking away and leaving Bay broken and defeated on the ground.
JFK found a section of the museum that described his death on November 22, 1963. He stared at the date for a few minutes.
"That.. that was today.. is this heaven?" JFK said to himself.
The Sunglasses Elf overheard JFK and bumped in.
"No, this is definitely Earth." the elf said.
JFK stared at the elf. He was convinced that this couldn't just be a dream.
"Why do you think we're here?" JFK asked the elf.
The elf shrugged.
The two walked out of the museum and looked for a taxi.
Darth Vader and the Doctor had a moment of silence after the Doctor claimed he was John Smith.
"Well, this is awkward, ain't it? Well, I better get going. Bye!" the Doctor said, backing away slowly.
"You're going nowhere." Darth Vader said, pulling the Doctor closer with the force.
"Crap, has he figured me out? Keep calm. Keep calm.." the Doctor thought to himself.
"Don't say you're 'John Smith'. I don't care about your name. I just want to know how you countered my mind trick. No ordinary human can do that." Darth Vader said, gripping his lightsaber.
"Oh no.. what do I say? What do I say?!" the Doctor thought to himself.
"I.. don't know if I can trust you.." the Doctor said.
"Dammit! Why'd I say that?" the Doctor thought to himself.
Darth Vader turned on his lightsaber and pointed it at the Doctor.
"Can you trust me now?" Darth Vader asked.
"Hey, leave him alone." Tesla said.
Darth Vader lifted Tesla up with the force and sent him flying into the wall.
"You're no Sith Lord." Vader said as he walked towards Tesla, lightsaber in hand.
As Vader was about to cut off Tesla's head with the lightsaber, the lightsaber suddenly turned off.
"What? How the hell?" Vader said, frustrated.
Vader looked back to see the Doctor with a sonic screwdriver in hand.
"Violence is NEVER the answer!" the Doctor said.
Muhammad Ali was still knocked out and Chuck was still sitting.
Blackbeard, Poseidon, and Edward Kenway planned out taking the ship.
"Okay, so.. we'll sneak in at midnight, kill any security guards that see us, and steal the ship without anyone knowing." Edward Kenway suggested.
"Why ARRRct all stealthy? We have a god with us. We'll be fine. Let's just run in there and boARRRRd that ship and fight off anyone that challenges us." Blackbeard replied.
"Or.. I can just do this."
Poseidon manipulated the water to make a path to the USS Constitution.
"Oh.. okay." Edward Kenway said.
The three walked the path. Guards were too scared to try and stop them.
"Let's do this!" Blackbeard yelled as he got on the ship.
Once all three were on board, Poseidon made the ship move as a crowd of people stared. Not every day are you going to see something like this.
"And I'm Loki. I'm a god. Kneel." Loki commanded.
Batman took out a batarang and tossed it at Loki to no effect.
Loki sighed, took out his scepter, and placed it on Batman's chest.
"You will kneel."
Batman, mind-controlled, kneeled before Loki.
"You will follow."
Batman and Stan Lee followed Loki outside of Newbury Comics.
"Hey, how you doing?" Krillin asked a girl outside of the store.
"I have a boyfriend!" the girl replied.
"Oh.. sorry." Krillin said.
Loki walked out of the store with his two new followers. Everyone in the area ran except for Krillin.
"If I can beat this guy, maybe I can impress a hot chick!" Krillin thought to himself.
Krillin walked over to Loki.
"Hey, I don't know what your deal is, but people seem scared of you, so you're probably a bad guy!" Krillin said.
Loki responded by impaling Krillin with his scepter.
Spoiler:
FOURTH DEATH: Krillin
"Let's keep moving." Loki commanded Lee and Batman.
Bill, Ted, Jesus Christ, Moses, Gandalf, Harry Houdini, Criss Angel, Sacajawea, Lump, Steve, and the Easter Bunny walked the Freedom Trail all the way until the site of the Boston Massacre.
"Dude, isn't this that place where the British killed some people?" Bill asked Ted.
"I don't know, is it?" Ted replied.
"Yes, this is the site of the Boston Massacre." Criss Angel told them.
"So, like, people died right here? That's awesome!" Bill and Ted said.
"Death isn't awesome." Houdini said.
The Easter Bunny took out a bunch of Easter Eggs to give to everyone except Sacajawea, who had Lump in her arms.
"What are these for?" Steve asked.
"Dude, the Boston Massacre happened because people were throwing rocks at police, right?" Bill asked.
"Yeah, something like that! Let's recreate it!" Ted said.
Bill and Ted tossed their eggs at a police officer.
"Wait, why'd you do that?" Criss Angel asked.
"They'll get the joke, right?" Ted replied.
Suddenly, a crowd of people joined in on throwing stuff at the police officer.
Criss Angel, Houdini, Gandalf, Moses, Sacajawea, Lump, Steve, and Jesus made it out of there.
The Easter Bunny handed out Easter eggs to throw at the officer.
The officer shot up to try and stop the attack, but it was no use. He'd have to actually recreate this thing.
The officer fired into the crowd, hitting 2 people and the Easter Bunny. This was enough to scare the crowd away.
Spoiler:
FIFTH DEATH: Easter Bunny
Bill and Ted went to the Easter Bunny's body.
"Dude.. death isn't as awesome as I thought.." they both said.
They took a few Easter eggs and continued the Freedom Trail. They forgot all about the bunny after a little while.
[Dayum, that battle between Poe and Skrillex was intense.
Also yay, Loki]
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le epic maymays xdd:
Spoiler:
Originally Posted by Rocket
Is Juiz darth vader? i hope so because that means he gets to be a dad
Originally Posted by Dion
This isn't the first time Juiz has given Sane a forced analysis pounding and it won't be the last.
Originally Posted by Samilton
juiz is a revolutionary
Originally Posted by Dion
get cancer
Originally Posted by Samilton
They're called Japanese people, Juiz
Originally Posted by Gika
The fiirst rule of ERBOH.com is: You do not tell Juiz what to do.
The second rule of ERBOH.com is: You DO NOT tell Juiz what to do.
Originally Posted by Sans
do you have a moment to hear about our lord and savior juizus
Originally Posted by Rocket
sorry polar, im a moderator of the people
and the people say you suck
Originally Posted by sane
"Don't be such a pussy Sam." shouted Juiz, the big, strong, captivating godly man that he was.
Originally Posted by YellowNerd
I love juiz more than his girlfriend does
Originally Posted by sane
My name is Sane, and this is my buddy Juiz, we're kind of a big deal and we can kick a lot of ass and love Wonderwall.
Originally Posted by sane
this forum is dead and I am the necrophiliac who will fuck it back to life
Originally Posted by Brad
Juiz, you are truly the Shakespeare of our time. I laughed. I cried. I gave up red meat. Thank you, you beautiful bright ray of freedom in this otherwise fascist community. Thank you.
Tao of Blue
Bon Vivant of Violet
Originally Posted by Juiz
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