Worst Battle Royale Ever (probably)/WBRE(p)

[Juiz]

I had a full on legit belly laugh at the Me-Polar exchange. 10/10

[Lohuydahutt]

I had a full on legit belly laugh at the Me-Polar exchange. 10/10

I'm just trying to be accurate...
bitch.

[Juiz]

I'm just trying to be accurate...
bitch.

bitch

[Rocket]

beautiful

i can't wait

[rangernumberx]

I'm ready for some Battle Royale catharsis. Great writing, Loh.

[Klonoa]

Well, I approve.

[Lohuydahutt]

Chapter 1

“Oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man,” Morty said as he heard his door getting smashed open. Morty heard the loud footsteps as the man came up the stairs. Soon enough, Negan found where Morty was hiding.

“Found you motherfucker!” Negan said gleefully, Morty just screamed, “woah woah calm down son, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Really?”
“I could, but I won’t. Because I think you have potential kid.”
“I do?”
“Sure, whatever. You see, I may be able to kick some serious ass, but I want to seriously dominate this game. Seriously just fuck this game in the ass and make it beg for more!”
“Ummm… OK.”
“And I need your help to make that happen boy.”
“Ummm… OK.”
“Great, got any weapons we could use kid?”
“I think my grandpa might have left something behind maybe.”
“Good, where’s his shit?”

---

Ted Cruz changed into his mama jeans and exited the bathroom. When he got out, the pool game was just about to end.

“Damnnnnnnnnnnn Granville!” some blonde little shit said.
“Looks like I win m8- wait where did you come from?” Jake Granville said.
“... DAMNNNNNNNN GRANVILLE, back at it again with the noob wrecking!” the Damn Daniel Kid said.
“Sup” Joe Camel said smoothly.
“DAMNNNNNN CAMEL! That doesn’t sound quite right :c” the Damn Daniel Kid said.
“OOH OOH you guys having a new game? Can I play pleasssseeeeeeeeeeeee” Ted Cruz interjected.
“This is a cool kids only game dude,” Joe Camel said, and then nodded towards the Damn Daniel kid.
“DAMNNNNNN CAMEL! Back at it again with the implying that I’m cool too!” the Damn Daniel kid said.
“Well, you’re not cool yet. You have potential though kid, but you could be cool like me…” Joe Camel said.
“How? : D”
“Light it up kid,” Joe Camel said right before lighting up another cigarette.
“DAMNNNNNNN CAMEL how come I never thought of that?” the Damn Daniel kid said.
“This isn’t right m8” Jake Granville tried to interject.
“You look like an emo hobbit get the fuck out of here, you ain’t cool dude,” Joe Camel said dismissively.

Thus, the emo hobbit and Ted Cruz were left out of the cool kids club.

“Hey, I wanna be part of the Kool Kids Klub!” Ted Cruz said.
“Nah m8, screw the cool kids club, we should end their careers m8,” Jake Granville said.

Joe Camel gave the Damn Daniel Kid a cigarette and offered him a lighter.

“Hey kid, I think those losers are planning something,” Joe Camel said.
“Damn Granville, like just damn that guy, he sucks. Also that other dude,” the Damn Daniel Kid replied.

Joe Camel took a cue stick and broke it in half with ease. He handed one half to the Damn Daniel Kid and kept the other one. At that moment Jake Granville rushed Joe Camel down to tackle him, and Joe Camel was not able to react. The Damn Daniel Kid tried to force him off but he was dumb and kept on trying to force him off with the blunt end of the cue stick.

“DAMN GRANVILLE, GET OFF THIS GUY!” he said.

Amidst all of this confusion, Ted Cruz has his opportunity to strike. He took a while to wrap the bacon around the barrel, but it was finally ready. He emptied his entire magazine into the Damn Daniel kid. He then took out a plastic fork and took a tiny piece of it off. He then… PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH :OOOOOOO

“mmmm machine gun bacon ahuhuhuhuhuhuhuh” Ted Cruz said to the camera with a creepy smile.

The Damn Daniel kid wasn’t actually dead though, Ted Cruz’s aim was so awful that only about 2 bullets actually hit him. Ted Cruz reloaded… it was time to shove some die hard conservatism down his throat. He walked up to the Damn Daniel kid and shoved the barrel of the gun into his mouth.

“Do you like the taste of that sonny boy?” Ted Cruz said.

The Damn Daniel kid tried to say no but was you know, muffled. Apparently machine gun bacon didn’t taste all that good. Ted Cruz slid all of the machine gun bacon down his throat and forcibly closed his mouth.

“You better eat that boy,” Ted Cruz said with a smile.

The Damn Daniel kid struggled but eventually forced himself to swallow it.

“Yeah that’s right boy,” Ted Cruz said with a mischievous look on his face.

Ted Cruz stood up, and started stomping on the kid’s face.

“This is Alabama” *stomp*
“This is Alaska” *stomp*
“This is Arizona” *stomp*
“This is Arkansas” *stomp*
...

He stomped on the kid’s face, once for every state.

“Damn kid got blood on my shoes,” Ted Cruz said as he exited the bar.

Jake Granville and Joe Camel didn’t even move the entire time. They were at a loss for words.

“Damn,” Granville said.

Spoiler: 

FIRST DEATH
Damn Daniel Kid-Minch

---

Chuck McGill felt the sudden urge to look out of the window. But instead of a peaceful neighborhood, he saw the dark abyss of Balloon Boy’s eyes staring straight back at him.

“Hello,” Balloon Boy said.

Chuck McGill screamed.

---

Ben Carson was still sleeping.

---

Thus, Poles and Juiz met each other in the back.

“What do we do now?” Juiz inquired.
“Fite me,” Poles replied.
“K” Juiz replied.

Juiz like, pulled a box out of his pocket. Said box was named Jack. He threw it at Poles. It did nothing.

And then… POLES RKO’D HIM OUTTA NOWHERE OOOOOOO

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“I will literally end you,” Juiz said somewhat angrily.
“Bitch,” Poles replied.
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”

Another figure was approaching

“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“... Bitch.”
“BITCH”
“BITCHHHHHHHHH”
“Bitch?”
“Bitch!”
“Bitch.”
“Hctib”
“Sam sux”
“Bitch”
“B-b-b-b-b-b-BITCH”
“~Bitch”
“Bitch-kun!”
“Bitch”
“Bitch- ow”

Juiz had been hit in the head by a blunt object of some sort. Said blunt object returned to the hand of a certain someone I’m sure we all know, probably.

“Hey Adingus what the crap,” Juiz said.
“You know what I’m here for bro,” Adonis replied.
“Wait wat,” Poles said, completely confused by the whole situation.
“Oh wait you were here?” Adonis said glancing at Poles.
“Yeah :c”
“Well I might as well rek you too then,” Adonis said.
“Bring it on bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”
“Bitch”

This battle will start sometime… probably.

---

Dion got the sense that there was some forum drama going down. He pulled a hammer out of his sweet, sweet ass and burst out of the window.

---

Scrappy Dappy Doo also heard the conflict going on outside of his van, and it was time to save the dayyyyyyyyyyyyy

---

Cool Cat had a revelation and jumped up to his feet: “I GOTTA SAVE THE KIDS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING A KID WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING AN ADULT IN A CAT COSTUME WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING CREEPY!” Cool Cat was planning on quickly getting out the door and out of the house… if it wasn’t for that pesky “door knob” thing. Geez, doors these days AMIRITE?

“HEY, CAN I AT LEAST TAKE THE FUCKING COSTUME OFF FOR THE DOOR?” Cool Cat yelled out to somewhere.
“Lolnope,” a voice responded back to him, “Also, could you please get more into character once you actually start interacting with our other contestants?”
“YEAH WHATEVER!”

---

Soulja Boy was still trying to figure out how to fix his broken nose.

---

Hey, you should totally go into that hospital, the voice in Mark David Chapman’s head said.
“OK,” Mark replied, and started heading towards the hospital.
Wow that was easy, the voice commented.
“What did you say?” Mark asked.
Nothing.

---

“Wow that guy down there looks like he could take a beating yo. I’m going to show him my mad moves WORD! am I cool yet?” Beast Boy said with his hands pressed against the window, observing the unsuspecting panda below.

---

Sonic Boom Knuckles put his hand above his eyes to help him survey the arena.

“I spy with my little eye… oh sweeeeeeetttttttttttt,” he said. You could probably guess who that person was.

Sonic Boom Knuckles jumped… and then he jumped. And then he jumped. And then he jumped. And then he jumped. And then he jumped. And then he jumped. And then he jumped. And then he jumped. And then he jumped…

You get the idea.

---

“Oh hey look at all that action going on over there!” Bubsy Bobcat exclaimed. He paused for a moment in thought, and then shrugged.
“What could possibly go wrong?”

Bubsy Bobcat burst through the window and started gliding toward the Titan Tower or whatever the fuck it’s called.

Bayonetta heard a thud and then a slideeeee a few seconds later.

---

SoFlo Antonio was celebrating his new successful video. Almost 100 seconds had passed and he got almost 100 views.

“Now for my next masterpiece,” he said to himself. He got dressed, grabbed his iPhone, and headed out.

---

Sam Pepper had finally finished up cleaning all of the blood off his floor. “Well crap, I’m gonna need a new prank,” he said to himself. Sam Pepper decided it was best to go out and see the world… to scout for potential pranks, probably. He also brought a knife, duct tape, and some chloroform with him, but let’s not talk about that.

TUNE IN FOR CHAPTER TWO WHERE MORE STUFF HAPPENS

[Poles]

Rep worthy

[Juiz]

10/10

bitch

[Rocket]

Yeeeeee