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Thread: help me: sanic

  1. #1
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    help me: sanic

    Okay, so I've been friends with this girl since about August or September, and I really started to develop feelings for her around November. We were both involved in the same club, so I decided to push off asking her out in fear of complicating things within the club. Anyway, I don't know exactly what happened, but she ended up getting a boyfriend... I think. I'm still not sure.

    Anyway, that guy is in this club too, and I saw them interacting a lot for a couple weeks. Because of this, I kind of lost interest in the girl, thinking she probably just wasn't interested in me. I think they ended up breaking up around January, though, because they don't really seem to be on good terms with each other. Anyway, I slipped back into liking her late in the month, but I was still a little uncertain about asking her out.

    On Valentine's Day, it looked like our club was going to disband for the year. I realized I wasn't going to see her for months, so I tried to get a mutual friend to convey the message that I liked her. Then because of a misunderstanding, it turns out the club is staying together, which kind of made things awkward. She hasn't actually really acted any different around me at the club meetings, but I do have suspicions that she might be trying to avoid me because she missed a couple meetings (and I know our mutual friend did in fact convey the message prior to those). So now I think there are a couple possibilities.

    1) She doesn't like me and is trying to avoid me, but is good at hiding her uninterest to my face. This is the possibility I mostly think is probable.

    2) She does like me, but doesn't want to complicate things around her ex and is missing meetings because of that.

    3) She likes me but is too nervous to admit it; her missing the meetings are just unfortunate timing (she did have some pretty legitimate excuses). I really hope it's this one.

    4) She isn't sure if she likes me back or not.

    So I said all that to say this: how should I go about asking her whether she does like me back? I don't want to ask her at the club meetings because they're supposed to be "professional" and I don't want to embarrass her/be embarrassed in front of everyone, but I also don't know how to get in contact with her aside from that (she has a Facebook but very rarely uses it). Right now my plan is to send her a Facebook message, and if she doesn't get on to see it, try to find a good time to ask at a future meeting. But really I have no idea what to do because my parents are quite honestly not being very helpful. Does anybody have any idea what to do in this situation?


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  2. #2
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    From how I see it, you're probably overthinking the thing about missing meetings. If she has legitimate excuses, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt that she just couldn't make the meetings. I think it's really unlikely she's trying to avoid you, if she's not acting any different around you.

    I've never asked a girl out before so my advice might not be the best, but I would probably just go to her at one of the club meetings and be like "Hey, can I talk to you in private at some point today?" and then you can ask her. Which I know is much easier said than done, believe me, but if you really are deadset on getting an answer, doing it in person is probably the best way to do it. Facebook message seems a little too shy and insincere, my gut reaction is that she probably wouldn't like that.

    Question that I think is important: Did your friend tell her in a way that was like "Oh Sanic wanted me to tell you that he likes you" or did he word in a way like "I think Sanic likes you"? Because when I've liked a girl, the people I talk to about it are usually just like "Oh yeah I can tell she likes you too you should ask her out", and then I usually just disregard those comments because I assume they're just trying to be positive. My point is that if she's not 100% sure you like her, then she'd probably just completely disregard what your friend told her, regardless of how she feels. If he worded it in a very definite, confident way, then there's definitely nothing to fear about just straight up telling her how you feel, since she already knows.

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  3. #3
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    I do have a problem with overthinking things, that much is true. It's mostly the fact that she didn't miss a single meeting beforehand from what I remember that worried me. But yeah, you're probably right.

    I have no idea how the message was conveyed, to be quite honest. I guess either way, though, at this point there's no harm in telling her. So yeah, I'll probably just try to bring it up whenever I can at the meetings.

    Thanks!


    Who won?

    Spoiler: 
    Bill O'Reilly
    Hitler
    Abraham Lincoln
    Sarah Palin
    Kim Jong-il
    Beethoven
    Einstein
    Genghis Khan
    Bonaparte
    Benjamin Franklin
    Dumbledore
    Dr. Seuss
    Mr. T
    Columbus
    EpicLloyd
    Hitler
    Master Chief
    Wright Bros
    Elvis Presley
    Marilyn Monroe
    Steve Jobs
    Freddie Mercury
    Barack Obama
    Doc Brown
    Clint Eastwood
    Sherlock Holmes
    Moses
    Eve
    Gandhi
    Edison
    Babe Ruth
    Mozart
    Gorbachev
    Darth Vader
    Al Capone
    Joan of Arc
    Bob Ross
    Michael Jordan
    JP Morgan
    Rick Grimes
    Superman
    Stephen King
    Sir Isaac Newton
    William Wallace
    Artists
    Stay Puft
    Bonnie and Clyde
    Zeus
    Hannibal Lecter
    Oprah Winfrey
    Quentin Tarantino
    Lewis and Clark
    David Copperfield
    RoboCop
    Eastern Philosophers (Confucius)
    Julius Caesar
    Stan Lee
    Boba Fett
    JRR Tolkien
    Gordon Ramsay
    Frederick Douglass
    Sean Connery
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    Frederick the Great
    Donald Trump
    Charles Darwin
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    Tony Hawk
    Theodore Roosevelt
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