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Thread: Could It Be? Yet Another BR? (Yes, It Could Be and It Is)

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by WhenDovesCry View Post
    Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal)
    Calypso (Twisted Metal)

    Mascot will be DJ Pon-3 (MLP)
    Perfect. X3

    (Ya want the mute version or Nowacking?)
    Watch Magical Girl Raising Project. Just do it.

  2. #22
    BrineBlade's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starlight Glimmer View Post
    Perfect. X3

    (Ya want the mute version or Nowacking?)
    Nowacking
    Spoiler: 

  3. #23
    Turtlesauce's Avatar 2016 Writer of the Year
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    Switching the Riddler for Lyle

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadpool View Post
    Name: Lyle

    Age: 31

    Appearance: A medium height, medium build individual. He wears jeans, sneakers, and a hoodie, with the hood always being over his head. Underneath the hood (which somehow never falls off), is a man with long hair, and a bushy beard. His eyes are of a piercing blue, and he is ALWAYS SMILING.

    Personality: Easy-going, doesn't have a care in the world, and is always cracking jokes. He will fight when needed, but would rather just joke around. Enjoys company.

    Background: Lyle learned of his power when he was very small. Being smart, he kept it to himself, and used it to life-hack his way through 31 years of living. He doesn't know where his power came from and he doesn't care.

    Skills/Powers/Abilities:

    Teleportation: Lyle can teleport ANYWHERE at will. The teleportation takes less than half a second, and it's always precise. He can take a picture of the Bahamas sunset, eat dinner in New York, and shake hands with penguins at the North Pole all within minutes of one another. Using this power all this life, he's pretty used to it, and knows exactly how and when to use it. It requires no effort from him to do it, so he can do it A LOT. Also, he can teleport other objects, but only small ones, and objects he's used to.

    Experienced Mind: Loving puzzles, he was always really good at logical decisions, and can think his way out of any situation.

    Infinite Ammo: Knowing he's not going to a pajama party, Lyle brought a pistol, a 9mm Glock. He's a good shot, and a steady aim, but the best part about him is that he can teleport ammo into his pistol infinitely.

    Very Funny: He is pretty darn funny.

    Likes: Jokes, Company, Seeing the world, any kind of food, puzzles, brainstorming

    Dislikes: People with no sense of humour, unnecessary violence, boredom, heavy metal music

    Flaws to Their Character: He's.. very... uhm.. human. He's not very strong, fast, resistant, or anything that someone with superpowers usually is. Also he hates when someone doesn't think he's funny.

    In One Sentence, Who are They?: Teleporting Funnyman
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    I will delete this forum.

  4. #24
    Juiz's Avatar
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    Changing my mascot to Hot Gay Dad
    Your friendly neighborhood Dadministrator

    Got a question? Just need someone to chat with? Drop me a PM!

    Stuff:
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    Forum Awards:
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    September 2014 Member of the Month
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    ERBoH.com's 2014 Artist of the Year
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    February 2016 Member of the Month
    ERBoH.com's 2016 Staff Member of the Year
    ERBoH.com's 2016 Chatter of the Year
    ERBoH.com's 2016 Most Active User of the Year
    ERBoH.com's 2016 Best Meme of the Year (SEX PONIES)
    ERBoH.com's 2016 Best REWF of the Year (Juiz vs Helioptle)
    ERBoH.com's 2016 Spammer of the Year
    ERBoH.com's 2016 Best Username of the Year (Hugh Mungus)


    le epic maymays xdd:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket View Post
    Is Juiz darth vader? i hope so because that means he gets to be a dad


    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    This isn't the first time Juiz has given Sane a forced analysis pounding and it won't be the last.
    Quote Originally Posted by Samilton View Post
    juiz is a revolutionary
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    get cancer
    Quote Originally Posted by Samilton
    They're called Japanese people, Juiz



    Quote Originally Posted by Gika
    The fiirst rule of ERBOH.com is: You do not tell Juiz what to do.
    The second rule of ERBOH.com is: You DO NOT tell Juiz what to do.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sans
    do you have a moment to hear about our lord and savior juizus
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket View Post
    sorry polar, im a moderator of the people

    and the people say you suck
    Quote Originally Posted by sane View Post
    "Don't be such a pussy Sam." shouted Juiz, the big, strong, captivating godly man that he was.


    Quote Originally Posted by YellowNerd View Post
    I love juiz more than his girlfriend does
    Quote Originally Posted by sane View Post
    My name is Sane, and this is my buddy Juiz, we're kind of a big deal and we can kick a lot of ass and love Wonderwall.
    Quote Originally Posted by sane
    this forum is dead and I am the necrophiliac who will fuck it back to life
    Quote Originally Posted by Brad View Post
    Juiz, you are truly the Shakespeare of our time. I laughed. I cried. I gave up red meat. Thank you, you beautiful bright ray of freedom in this otherwise fascist community. Thank you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    This forum needs a good return to fascism


  5. #25
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    I'm putting Biktoria in as my first character -

    Name: Biktoria Sterling

    Age: 23

    Appearance: Biktoria has a petite body shape – standing just a little over five feet. She has a deep tan complexion and large, dark eyes. Her cheeks are smattered with a constellation of fine freckles, just a shade darker than her skin. Biktoria weights one hundred and four pounds. Her raven hair is long and wavy and is tied in a messy bun – secured with a silver pin – when she is in uniform. Biktoria’s limbs are well-proportioned but her fingers are rather short and stubby. She has a small nose and slightly pointed ears on an attractive heart-shaped face.

    Biktoria’s attire consists of a khaki smock and white pyjama trousers. Her smock is broken up by pieces of bronze-coloured mail armour located on her shoulders, her flanks and over her chest. The mail pads around her flanks have dust-coloured silk draping off of them that fall to her knees. Biktoria wears bronze-coloured shin-guards and fingerless leather gloves. She sometimes wears a scarlet silk turban over her head with silk drapes she uses to cover the lower half of her face. A long tattoo in the shape of a flame snakes up her left arm. It conceals a red burn scar.

    Personality: Biktoria is feisty and hot-headed. A bit of an introvert, Biktoria enjoys being alone most of the time as she tends to think she can get more done without other people around. She is fierce and strong, both mentally and physically and is highly persistent, impressionable and self-reliant. Biktoria refuses to back down and can come across as very stubborn and quick to annoy. When met with a challenge, Biktoria prefers to go off on her own and brood over the possibilities rather than debate and cooperate with her teammates. Although this behaviour can be seen as annoying she usually does come up with the right solution after some time. Biktoria doesn’t make a big song or dance about her achievements and prefers to just trudge on with things rather than celebrate.

    Biktoria tends to be cold towards people she first meets and does not make friends very easily. When she does however learn to trust someone she is firmly loyal to them and will try her hardest not to let them down. Her loyalty is perhaps the characteristic that she most values and will fight tooth and nail for those she cares about. Despite her frosty demeanour to people she doesn’t know, Biktoria does have a soft spot for children and has a motherly instinct. She is far more patient with a young child than she is with a teenager or an adult.

    When it comes to love Biktoria is a demiromantic. When she finds she likes someone (always someone who she has learned to trust) she becomes awkward and flustered around them and even more short-tempered and irritable. She is on edge when she is with someone she likes and tries to push romantic feelings away – never being one to admit she has them. Blushing, sparks tend to come out of her fingers. She is pretty much tsundere

    Background: Biktoria is of mixed-race descent and hails from the British Raj. Her father was a British military officer and her mother was a local Indian woman. Biktoria grew up fairly well-off in an Indian manor where she discovered her strange ability. Her powers frightened the servants who saw her has a sorceress cursed by demons and begged Biktoria’s parents to send her away. Biktoria’s mother agreed with the servants, desiring their daughter be sent somewhere else to live away lest someone discovered her skill. Her father however was intrigued by Biktoria’s ability and studied it, becoming her mentor and deciding Biktoria must stay with the family. This caused all the servants to leave and Biktoria’s mother to resent her.

    Biktoria and her mother had heated arguments every day. Biktoria’s mother accused her of being a witch and a demon and ordered her out of the house. Every time Biktoria’s father intervened on her behalf. The tense home situation made everyone angry. One night Biktoria lost her temper completely with her mother and burned her room to a crisp, burning her arm in the process. Biktoria’s mother lay gasping for breath as she succumbed to her burns and died. Horrified, Biktoria fled the scene before her father would know and vowed never to return – living in shame of her past.

    After leaving her home at the age of seventeen, Biktoria travelled far away from her wealthy suburb eventually happening upon a poverty-stricken village. There Biktoria found work in a local orphanage (where her love of children began). The children of the orphanage did not judge her for her ability and thought it made her unique and special. This filled her with some resolve and love knowing that these children she cared for loved her. While continuing at the orphanage, Biktoria trained herself in her art, eventually forming a martial art that incorporated her power. By day she works at the orphanage looking after children but by night she becomes a vigilante and warrior, defending her village from those who dare attack it.

    Skills/Powers/Abilities: Biktoria is a pyromancer – she can spontaneously generate flames and control them through pyrokinesis. Biktoria can shoot flames like projectiles at her opponents, streams of fire create melee weapons made out of fire and defend with firewalls. The amount of fire she can generate depends on her health, her concentration, her anger and her determination to achieve the task. If she breaks concentration for merely a couple of seconds the fire will disappear. Biktoria must constantly eat spicy foods to maximize her potential to create flames. She can be relentless with her constant barrages of fire, only tiring out after she has finished what she started. To enhance her ability Biktoria created a martial art. She can deliver swift graceful kicks and punches to further attack or defend. She is agile and graceful and a skilled gymnast. Now that Biktoria has all but mastered her art she is immune to burns and fire damage.

    Likes: Fire, children, spice, night-time, warmth, being alone

    Dislikes: Water, stupidity, migraines, extroversion, criminals, thieves, her mother and old life

    Flaws to Their Character: Biktoria is hot-headed and straight to the point. She might offend a lot of people with what she says and is very disagreeable. She constantly suffers from migraines which enhance her already short temper. She can have sporadic outbursts of anger and frustration and snap at people (but is very careful not to immolate them). Biktoria suffers from PTSD and has nightmares and hallucinations of her past. Thus is it is very difficult for her to sleep and she often meditates to regain her energy instead. Also, she is a poor swimmer.

    In One Sentence, Who are They?: Hot female Prince Zuko.
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  6. #26
    We just need GoB's other guy and mascot and then we'll get this thing underway!

    Be prepared.. be very prepared.
    Watch Magical Girl Raising Project. Just do it.

  7. #27
    Turtlesauce's Avatar 2016 Writer of the Year
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    *Cue Scar's song*
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    I will delete this forum.

  8. #28
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    My other character will be Peeta Mellark from the Hunger Games and their mascot will be Sebastian the Crab from the Little Mermaid
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  9. #29
    Rocket's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    I'm gonna pick Don Flamenco (ON DRUGS) from Punch-Out!!. I'm also going to pick Sexually Frustrated Hispanic Male Youth with a gun and a sword, who is a self explanatory OC. Our team mascot is Pikaman (that pikachu x ganondorf glitch from super smash bros brawl)
    mom said its my turn to have mod back

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    rocket-senpai makes my kokoro go doki doki
    Quote Originally Posted by BSB
    Rocket you single handedly saved the site. Never thought it would be you but congratulations

  10. #30
    Chapter 0: The Start of A Night to Remember Part 1/3

    (DISCLAIMER: Alright, the initial disclaimer I had here actually made the episode go over its character limit, so go to the disclaimer in Part 2 for the longer version.

    Basically formatting got weird due to the limit and I'd really appreciate feedback. :3)

    Spoiler: 
    Widespread applause rang out across the globe; from the homes of the working class to those fortunate enough to purchase tickets for this extraordinary event. Millions of people gathered from every country known to man to this one stadium located in the Sahara Desert. Years of terraforming transformed a large area of the desert into a sustainable grassland filled with greens, fauna, and mini oases--all with the intent of hosting an amazing Royale for those wealthy enough, and some lucky enough, to witness first hand.

    Thump-thump-thump. A screech sounded from a large box suite located high up above the seating arrangement. CEO of Future 4 You Industries, Glike, spoke.

    "Testing, testing... 123. Alright, I'm on.. GREETINGS! I am Glike of Future 4 You, first I want to start off by thanking all you wealthy benefactors who helped make this dream a reality. If it weren't for the likes of generous individuals such as yourself the technology employed here today wouldn't exist for at least another few centuries. 26 brave men and women have voluntarily, some more than others, entered themselves in today's competition in order to show off the capabilities of the technologies that you will be seeing firsthand.

    The first of which, the Plexifield surrounding the inner stadium; made with Plexiglass in mind, this force field is indestructible. A generous amount of arms and nuclear weapons from our esteemed global sponsors, The United States of America and Russia, have been lended for the sole purpose of testing the strength of this field.. suffice to say, those seats you are sitting in were protected from the greatest weapons produced in contemporary times. We are fully confident that the field can take hits from anything that will be thrown at it today. However, your safety is our number one priority, so we've asked the participants to focus their efforts on taking down each other.. not you guys.

    Participants, volunteers; we know, we know, you really want to meet 'em. Rather than introduce them myself our 13 sponsors have selected a "mascot", so to speak, for every 2 participants. We shall let them handle the introductions. Now, I ask that you reflect on the uses of technology you are about to see here: most of these volunteers were recruited from different realities as well as time periods, and we are very eager to showcase the capability of this technology to bring worlds and times to together in a way never before witnessed by humankind. So, without further ado, please welcome our first mascot!"

    ***

    "Oh ho ho, get ready.." a voice rang out, "for Papi!" A circular patch in the center of the field rose up, allowing the first mascot to step out. This was a fair-skinned Hispanic male in his mid 30s. He was toned, but more impressive was the black bushy mustache that perched on his upper lip. He was, in every sense of the word, fine.

    "Aquí estoy! You shall all know me as the one, the only Hot Gay Dad. Where I come from, I am known worldwide. I, as you Americanos say, get around. Every man and woman, child or adult, has gotten to know me very intimately. Now, I know I that I am 'muy caliente,' but let not that detract from two of the real stars of the show, no? Give it up for Dion, top Administrator of ERBoH.Com second only to Rob. Also, give a hearty round of applause for troubled, and boy do I mean troubled, youth Rei Kurushimi!"

    Sounds of confusion, in the form of questions from the audience such as "ERBoH.Com?" or "Who the heck is this Dion fellow?" were drowned out by the clapping and stomping of millions of people.

    A pasty dude in a black tee with impeccable facial hair was the first to step through the entrance and take center stage. This was Dion. Dion pulled a small bottle of Jack out of his pocket and took a swig of it before throwing it on the ground.

    "Wassup bitches?" Applause rang out. "Now, I better not be getting sued for displaying that Jack logo, ya see Jack Daniels isn't one of our official sponsors. I just wanna make it clear, what was in that battle was 100%, bonafide... MAPLE SYRUUUUUPP! CANADA REPRESENT!!!!"

    Hundreds of Canadians in the stands broke out in an uproar of applause.

    "Alright, settle down, settle down. I'm here for one reason and one reason only: TO WIN! I've got some guys over at ERBoH.Com who want to see me kick major ass.. and the odd few who actually wanna see my ass. Who knows, maybe they will maybe they won't... but don't take me for granted. I have spent years mastering the craft of Administration. I've been rewarded with the one true hammer to rival even Mjolnir..."

    Dion spawned a gargantuan golden mallet, the light of which filled the stadium.

    "THE BANHAMMER!!!"

    Once again, applause.

    Dion de-spawned the hammer, "I was also molded in the ways and lifestyle of the Canadian.. I've mastered control all things cold, syrupy, and moose-like. Look forward to me winning this thing! Now, give it up for this next traumatized chump or whatever."

    Applause!

    Dion stepped aside, allowing the other guy to step forward. This guy was even paler than Dion and looked like he hadn't slept in years. He was covered in all sorts of nasty cuts and bruises and even had ash on his face. He was very, erm, top-heavy.. most of his white hair hung down over one side of his body, the other side of head lacking the dome fur.

    "My name's Rei. I'm really just here to satisfy my," Rei licked his lips, "thirst. And I'm not talking about that Jack syrup crap, I.. want.. blood! You can't really see him, but my good friend Itami is here today to help me get my fix. Now, unlike this bozo over here I'm not going to spout on about what I can do. No, I'd like to keep that a bit of a mystery for the time being. I just hope ya guys didn't eat breakfast, because you may lose the contents of your stomachs once you see what I have up my sleeves. And I don't care what you guys think, but if I don't get what I came here for.. I'm going to be very very upset. You better hope that Plexifarm or whatever Glike calls it holds."

    Rei walked back between Dion and Hot Gay Dad.

    "Woo! Go Rei, I love ya!" yelled out a single audience member as he clapped. The others were too terrified to say or do anything.

    ***

    The field was cleared of the previous three, and the next mascot was ready to introduce his pair.

    The next mascot arrived from the center elevator. He wore a black tee, similar to Dion's, and jeans tightened by a spiked belt. He his black hair was mop-like and came down to just below his shoulders. Much of the audience was very well who he was. He stared, with a crazed look in his eye, before finally shouting out.

    "ARE YOU ALL READY!?"

    Applause!

    "I CAN'T HEAR YOU? MOTHERFUCKERS, I SAID ARE YOU READY!?!?"

    APPLAUSE!

    "I'M MARILYN MANSOOOOOOON!!! But I'm sure you already know that! I'm honored to be here today, representing two of my idols! If I had my drummer with me here today, I would have put on a performance, but I'm flying solo today. Plus I kinda threw out my voice a mite with that yelling bit! I've got some of the coolest cats on the block today with me, and you give them that fucking applause you just gave me, alright!? Now, as you know my name is Marilyn Manson.. some of you may know the history behind that name, others may not. If you do, then you'll know just who I'm about to introduce.

    First up, we got some of that vintage pussy.. MARILYN MONROE!! After that, we got the baddest guy of 'em all, CHARLES MANSON!! Give it up, give it up!!!"

    A woman in a white, almost translucent dress walked up to the mic. The dress ended in a skirt, but besides the skirt, she wasn't wearing anything on her legs. Her bleached hair and beauty mark easily gave up her identity.

    "Hi there," she said with an intentional rasp to her voice, drumming her fingers along the mic, "I'm Marilyn Monroe.. Now, I'm just as surprised to be here in the 21st century, but that don't matter too much today. History painted me as an actress and singer, sex symbol of America, but I'm here to prove I'm much more than that. I'm a very capable woman, and if you get on my bad side, I'll just have to go femme fatale on you. But I know what you're really here to say, so here's a little early dessert.."

    Monroe pressed a button on the mic, which caused a gust of air to burst from the ground below her, sending her skirt aflutter as she feigned bashfulness. Monroe handed the mic over to Charles as the crowd applauded.

    Charles extended his arm outward, gesturing for the crowd to quiet down, "Alright, now my name is Charles Manson. You may know me for some of my misdeeds, but frankly I don't give a fuck. Today, I get to put my one talent to the test, and that talent is killin'. I ain't gonna hold back, and I'm sure as hell not gonna clock out today. So, any of you seeking 'justice' or 'retribution,' quit getting your panties in a twist, because I'm here to win! Ya'll hear that you sunuvabitches? CHUCK IS HERE TO WIN!!"

    Charles threw his fists into the air but was met with boos and insults. One guy even attempted to throw a rock at him.. of course it bounced right back off the force field and hit him in the eye.

    "Fuckin' ingrates," muttered Chuck.

    ***

    This next mascot.. got a very mixed reaction. When he first stepped out of the elevator he was met with uproarious applause. However, when he turned around to adjust his tie, everyone felt compelled to boo. Upon hearing the displeasure, he turned around once again. However, at this point the audience was cheering again.

    "Alright, alright.. I don't know what's going on, but let's settle down. My name's Polar..."

    A voice came from just behind his head, "...Bama."

    It was at this point, his true bizarre nature was revealed. This was PolarBama, an experiment got wrong. Two high-ranking members from the very same forum Dion was Admin of thought it'd be more efficient to clone themselves. On the first try, unfortunately, the two clones melted together and became one, an amalgamation of the lovable and well-known PolarBore, and the despised and suckish Sambama. The front half was Polar, a stereotypical Brazilian looking kid from America; and the back half was Sam, a gangly white dude with an acne-ridden face.

    "Now, I'd like to state some exposition about my past but I'm sure other force beyond our understanding has already done. So, let's just get on with it. I'm very excited to introduce our newest members, and my combined technical father: Polar and Sam!"

    Polar arrived first and received a standing ovation, just for appearing. He waited until the cheering died down before speaking, "I'd like t-"

    "YAAAAYYYYY!!! ENCORE! ENCORE!!" cried the core.

    Polar waited again, "As I-"

    "HAVE MY KIDS, POLAR!!!!"

    Polar sighed and waited again. Finally he spoke once more, "You done? Alright.. as I was saying. I'm genuinely humbled by this opportunity. I'm here to make a good name for myself as well as the rest of ERBoH.Com. I realize we have others from the website as well, but hey, that was there choice not mine. I won't be holding back, whether I'm facing friend or foe. Thank you."

    Polar stood to the side as the crowd cheered, only for the cheers to subside and be replaced with boos as Sam stepped forward.

    "Hi, I'm Sam and-..."

    "BOO, YOU STINK!"

    Sam put his hand up and nodded, "Th-Thank you." Sam then stepped backward, not even getting a chance to speak for himself.

    ***

    A young teenager who looked like the emo lovechild of Dion and Marilyn Manson entered. He was very pale looking, and was dressed in all black. He slowly walked to the mic and spoke with a whiny, raspy voice, "Hi, my name is like Jon Jumper. I'm a mascot for like two people and shit. Really, I'm just in it for some free publicity and fuck bitches. Life's been a bit rough lately, and sometimes I just feel my only release is to cut myself from this mortal coil. It's kinda hardcore, really. But today, there's going to be a different release, and I think my two people'll be able to pull it off. Say hello to this, like time witch spirit lady, Kurumi Tokisaki, and my personal hero, Existential Crisis Man. Peace."

    Jumper moved back and allowed Kurumi to take the stage. Kurumi looked like a typical teenage girl dressed in atypical clothing. She wore a very frilly dress with black and red stripes as well as a light, frilly red bonnet-type headpiece. She also wore red-frilled black sleeves which were unconnected to the dress. She had two mismatched colored eyes, one red and the other a brilliant gamboge.

    "AHAAHAHA!! Hello my soon-to-be loyal fans! I hope you enjoy my youthful look and complexion, for you see... I can only stay this pretty and powerful as long as I have sustenance. I do a little soul-searching, in the literal sense, to find only the ripest victims. I do this so I can remain this way as long as possible, and I do have a longterm goal but I won't bore you with the details. Honestly, the competition so far? They're completely weak, so weak in fact it's almost not worth it to kill them. But that Rei boy, you see, there's something interesting about him. I implore you all to take this journey with me, watch as I break him and suck him dry. AHAHAHAHA!!"

    "YOU CAN SUCK ME DRY KURUMI!" yelled someone from the audience.

    "Shut it! Don't you get fresh with me, meatsack!" she yelled. "Anywho, look forward to seeing me again later." With a wave Kurumi walked off.

    A rather generic looking guy in his 30s slowly trudged towards the microphone, watching the ground as he walked. He stared at the grass even as he addressed his audience, "I'm... *sigh* Existential Crisis Man.. I guess. I can like, phase through anything and you can't hurt me no matter how much you try.. not anymore than the illusion called life already has, I guess. ..I don't know, why should I care? We're all going to die someday anyway. Not like it matters if nothing really exists, though.. I don't even know why I bother... I'm just taking up space, I guess.."

    Existential Crisis Man sadly walked back to the elevator, sighing along the way.

    ***

    .

    ..

    ...

    "Absolutely... riveting...," sighed Glike. Everyone in the stadium grew bored over the half-hour in which the latest mascot said nothing.

    "I-I'm shocked, genuinely surprised.." said Glike, "I thought there was more than meets the eye with this mascot, but uh, no. No, it's literally just a meatball sub, with.. umm.. with no sauce to boot. I-I sincerely apologize folks, I thought th-"

    "Sorry, I'm-a sorry! It's my blame, I'll take-a the blame. All the blame, right here!" A man in a chef's hat quickly rushed out of the elevator. His hat, handlebar mustache, and accent betrayed his true nature. Nothing about him was authentic Italian, including the sandwich.

    "I'm-a, well you-a see, you can call-a me a Loafa Bred. Loafa Bred, yeah, that's-a what I'm-a goin' with! Ya see, I'm-a not entirely sure who I really... Anyway, that's-a my meatball sub! Beautiful creation! I a thought it'd be the perfect mascot. But don't-a worry, I'll-a translate!"

    Loafa Bred put his ear to the sub and nodded, occasionally muttering "mhm, uh-huh" to himself. He stood again and spoke, "He-a says that the mascots about to be a presented to you guys are gonna be-a great. Contrary to their-a name, they will not be a singing their swan song tonight. These-a two are from the video-making group Cygnus. A-get it? Cuz the constellation and-a the swan an-.." Loafa Bred notices millions of unamused stares, "Ahem... Juiz and Jon of Cygnus.."

    Juiz tried everything to make himself look cool. He had his black leather jacket on with spikes on the shoulders, sunglasses, and a fake tattoo of a dragon. Quite honestly.. it kind of worked. He looked somewhat badass.

    Juiz yanked the microphone out of Bred's hands and spoke, "What up, nerds? I'm Juiz, one of the creative minds and top personalities of Cygnus, yo. And I'mma straight tell ya'll that this here.. this stadium? It's MY turf! Now, don't front with me or I'll just have to pop a cap in yo sorry little a-.. Ah, what the fuck am I saying?" Juiz took off his sunglasses and spoke again, "What's up guys? I'm Juiz. You may know me from Cygnus or you may know me as one of the Super Mods over at ERBoH.Com. Now, I may not hold as much power as say Polar or Dion, but don't get it twisted.. when I'm serious I don't mess around. Not much to say besides that, but don't count me out just. Alright, I'll see ya guys later."

    Jon was most likely some pasty, chubby white guy that no one likes, and I bel-

    Whoops, would you look at that. He's already getting booed off the stage.

    "GET OFF THE STAGE, GEEK."

    "NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE JON."

    "YOU SUCK MORE THAN SAM."

    Jon returned to the elevator, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

    ***

    The next mascot was due to arrive any second now. Nobody knew what they were in for, but they were definitely about to get the best treat of all. They were about to be introduced to the smartest, sexiest costumed man from Earth to Uranus, no doubt. Now, let's take a moment to reflect on his awesomeness. He's like Wolverine without all that gruffness, he's like Deathstroke but without all the dryness, he's like.. aw, who am I kidding?

    What up bitches? I'm your friendly neighborhood Deadpool! But only am I over here, he's over there. Look for yourself! *points camera at the stadium* The rugged man in ladybug pajamas waved at the camera and shouted, "Look Ma, I'm on TV!"

    Now, what could this heroic funnyman have in store for us? "I'm glad ya asked DP, today I'm going to introduce you to the fabulous Lyle and the and the macho Living Armour. Why don't you two step right up, alright?"

    And as this amazing hero said that, Lyle approached the mic... Hold it.

    "What's wrong, DP?"

    You said fabulous, DP..

    "Yeah, that's right DP."

    But he doesn't look all that fabulous, DP.

    "*anime gasp* You know what this means, DP?"

    MAKEOVER!

    "MAKEOVER!"

    *one transition later*

    My chatty counterpart forced a pink dress onto Lyle who was now prepared to speak.

    And action!

    "What is this, Victoria's Secret? I thought this was going to be a rough-and-tumble showdown, not a beauty pageant. Heh, whatever. Name's Lyle."

    Lyle appeared right next to in-story DP. Psst, look at him rippin' off my style. Whoa, now he's next to Glike! He's speaking on that Glike mic, "As ya can see, I love teleporting. I live it, I breathe it. But I'm not a one-trick pony, no sirree. Now, get a listen to th- WHOA!"

    And there I go, dragging Lyle back to the field, somehow passing through that Sexyfield, sorry, Plexifield. No one is allowed to be as funny or funnier than me.

    "Bye Lyle! Alright, I got this guy fixed up so we won't need a transition this time. It's the macho Living Armour.. oh darn, he's stuck in the elevator. Give me a few minutes, I'll get him out."

    *one transition later* Heh, I'm a rebel.

    The Living Armour walked up to the mic; take notice of those fabulous pecs drawn on with state-of-the-art Crayola crayons.

    Living Armour spoke, "I couldst maketh bett'r art with the dung of a donkey, thee clotpole. Anon, thee shalt knoweth me as the Living Armour. I am an enchant'd thing of immeasurable calib'r. Doth not und'restimate me, f'r I has't the spirit of a knight and the capability of the King's most wondrous men. I shalt sayeth farewell f'r the timeth, but expecteth to seeth me on the battlefield v'ry lief, mine own comrades. HURRAH!"

    Now, before I go I just want to say-

    *Commercial Break*
    Watch Magical Girl Raising Project. Just do it.

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