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Thread: Do I fake my religion for the rest of my life?

  1. #1
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    Do I fake my religion for the rest of my life?

    Not gonna post anonymously cos everyone will know who I am.

    I've been an apostate since I was eleven years old (I'm seventeen right now) although my doubts about Islam started when I was around eight. I consider myself one of the luckier ones - me and my family live in Scotland where the Muslim community isn't too large and pretty moderate all things considered compared to the crazies in other parts of Europe or indeed the UK. My parents are pretty liberal Muslims; my mum doesn't wear a hijab, my dad doesn't have a beard, I'm not expected to do namaaz five times a day and Islam doesn't really play a huge role in my family life.

    That being said, my parents still consider themselves devout in their Islamic faith. They've definitely been skeptical as to what extent I've shared their faith and I have run my mouth a couple of times against Islam, halal slaughter and fundamentalism. They don't really get too angry when I debate Islam with them (unless I push the subject) and concede there are some unsavoury aspects of Muslim behaviour (they blame Muslims, not Islam which they see as a wholly good religion which stupid people have corrupted) but are not too comfortable with me saying these things. When me and my parents get into unrelated arguments my mum calls me an atheist and says that she wishes she raised me more Islamic and sent me to a madrassa but I'm sure these things are only said in anger. I'm pretty sure my parents think I'm going through a phase of teenage rebellion and that I'll grow up to be a good Muslim.

    Here's my dilemma. I'm okay at faking being a Muslim at the moment, it doesn't really affect too much about my life. I'm currently fasting with my parents as it's Ramadan, pray once or twice a week when I'm asked to and that's basically it. Yet, I don't know how my parents would react if, once I leave school and move out, I live a very un-Islamic lifestyle. I do love my parents and I'm sure it would crush them to see me drinking, or eating pork etc. but I want to live my life as my own. I don't know if my parents will strike me, or disown me if I openly state I'm an ex-Muslim. Fasting is much harder for me because I don't have any faith and I believe it's all pointless. The recent shooting in Orlando has made me really angry and I've had an argument about Islam with my mum. I don't know if I can do this anymore.
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  2. #2
    Spookiz's Avatar
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    Initially I wasn't going to comment, because I really found it hard to relate, coming from a family that doesn't practice any sort of religion. But honestly, if I was going to say anything, it'd be that you should do whatever you truly, in your heart, want to do. If you find, as time goes on, that you no longer want to practice a specific religion, or do anything specifically for that matter, then at the end of the day, that's all that matters. I know it's hard to think about doing it, because as you said, you don't want to upset your parents, but in the end it's still your life, so do what you want, and what will make you happy. : )
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  3. #3
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz View Post
    Initially I wasn't going to comment, because I really found it hard to relate, coming from a family that doesn't practice any sort of religion. But honestly, if I was going to say anything, it'd be that you should do whatever you truly, in your heart, want to do. If you find, as time goes on, that you no longer want to practice a specific religion, or do anything specifically for that matter, then at the end of the day, that's all that matters. I know it's hard to think about doing it, because as you said, you don't want to upset your parents, but in the end it's still your life, so do what you want, and what will make you happy. : )
    Thanks for the advice man, I just can't live my whole life as a lie. I'm scared of telling them anything though cos it'll break them
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  4. #4
    As a Muslim, I completely understand how you feel right now. To be honest, I'm not sure there's any way your parents will be fine with it. Parents tend to raise their kids a certain way and it hurts to see them do differently. Personally, I think if you're no longer inclined towards the religion, that's fine. Perhaps you should be more open with it once you've moved out, rather than when you're still at your parents' house, you know? I'm honestly so sorry you have to experience this,
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  5. #5
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ozymandias View Post
    As a Muslim, I completely understand how you feel right now. To be honest, I'm not sure there's any way your parents will be fine with it. Parents tend to raise their kids a certain way and it hurts to see them do differently. Personally, I think if you're no longer inclined towards the religion, that's fine. Perhaps you should be more open with it once you've moved out, rather than when you're still at your parents' house, you know? I'm honestly so sorry you have to experience this,
    I had no idea you were a Muslim bro, thanks for answering. I'm pretty lucky that where I live revealing I'm not a Muslim won't endanger my life. I have friends in England who, if anyone found out they weren't Muslim anymore, they could literally be killed. It's a sad state of affairs.
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  6. #6
    I've experienced a similar thing with my dad when i was an Athiest. He's a catholic man and took it hard when I "came out" and said that I didn't want to be confirmed or anything. I still went to church and still participated in prayer even though I wasn't feeling it myself. My dad just kinda dealt with me not believing. He still loved me even though he didn't agree with my choices. It's tough to break off from your parents but if it clears your head and makes your happier, I do suggest having a talk with your parents. I'm here for you if you ever need someone who went through a similar situation : D
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  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Mooncat View Post
    I had no idea you were a Muslim bro, thanks for answering. I'm pretty lucky that where I live revealing I'm not a Muslim won't endanger my life. I have friends in England who, if anyone found out they weren't Muslim anymore, they could literally be killed. It's a sad state of affairs.
    Yeah, I am haha. Not a problem dude. Yeah, that's true. I think that's horrible, personally. Like if you no longer believe in a religion, surely it's better that you distance yourself from it rather than imitate it to please your family. But no, they'd rather have people pretend just in order to save face. I think a lot of it is to do with culture, though. It's really brave of you to admit you no longer feel anything, loads of people just bottle it up inside and let it eat away at them. As a Muslim, I'd rather you were a happy non-Muslim than an unhappy Muslim, any day. I'd be wary of doing it whilst you're still at home though, given your parents' reaction on those other issues. But once you're out, go ahead. I wish the best for you.
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  8. #8
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ozymandias View Post
    Yeah, I am haha. Not a problem dude. Yeah, that's true. I think that's horrible, personally. Like if you no longer believe in a religion, surely it's better that you distance yourself from it rather than imitate it to please your family. But no, they'd rather have people pretend just in order to save face. I think a lot of it is to do with culture, though. It's really brave of you to admit you no longer feel anything, loads of people just bottle it up inside and let it eat away at them. As a Muslim, I'd rather you were a happy non-Muslim than an unhappy Muslim, any day. I'd be wary of doing it whilst you're still at home though, given your parents' reaction on those other issues. But once you're out, go ahead. I wish the best for you.
    That's true and I'm glad you think that way. A lot of Muslims don't unfortunately

    Quote Originally Posted by Milotic View Post
    I've experienced a similar thing with my dad when i was an Athiest. He's a catholic man and took it hard when I "came out" and said that I didn't want to be confirmed or anything. I still went to church and still participated in prayer even though I wasn't feeling it myself. My dad just kinda dealt with me not believing. He still loved me even though he didn't agree with my choices. It's tough to break off from your parents but if it clears your head and makes your happier, I do suggest having a talk with your parents. I'm here for you if you ever need someone who went through a similar situation : D
    It's really great you understand what I feel like and thanks for being there for me. I hope my parents will be as understanding, other Muslim parents would not.
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  9. #9
    sane's Avatar A Beautiful Sunset at Noon
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    I'm an Agnostic/Atheist whatever you call it I don't label it in Alabama. My sister is the only devout Southern Baptist in the family, but my parents do believe. In your situation, I'd possibly wait a bit as it seems as though your parents are very defensive over it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz View Post
    Good job Sane. You killed the forum.

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