Don't Dance Me I'm Forum

[Dion]

Turtle: "Hehe, HARDER"

too accurate

[Kubby]

Turtle is Furryboy because his name is an animal's name so it makes contextual sense

Of course that's the only reason.

[Katz]

Of course that's the only reason.

;-) hey hey

[Katz]

Episode 4: Computers

---

The gang is playing a board game online.

Polar: "Oh, I guess it's my turn to pick a card. (Picks up card) Let's see... 'What is the biggest thing in the world?'"

Umbreon: "That's a tricky one."

Juiz: "A mountains? A sky? A windmill?"

Umbreon: "No!"

Polar: "If only there was a way to learn more about the world."

The gang looks at the globe on their shelf.

Umbreon: "Yes, if only there was a way to get more information about this."

The gang looks super intensely at the globe. It opens its eyes and smiles.

Juiz: "Wow lo-"

Juiz gets cut off by their computer, Lawlzor, who they stopped looking at.

Lawlzor: "I'm a computer! I'm a computery guy! Everything's made out of buttons and wires. I'd like to show you to my digital life! Inside of my mind, I have a digital mind!"

Polar: "Oh. You could probably help us answer this question. What is the biggest th-"

Lawlzor: "CLEVER! I'm a very clevery guy. Locate 50 users in the blink of my eye. Handcraft a picture, in a fraction of time. Inform you of anything you're too lazy to find. You know it's easy to be, a clever smart boy like me, if you can do it all digitally."

Juiz: "Wow! I'd like to be as smart as a computer."

Polar: "Actually, we already have a computer"

Polar points to a computer in the corner.

Lawlzor: "Great! Great news! Now before we begin our journey, I just need to collect a little more data. What's your name? Where do you post? What do you like to post?"

Juiz: "BRs!"

Umbreon: "I post in the writer's corner!"

Polar: "Well, my name is-"

Lawlzor: "GREAT! GREAT NEWS! now just a few more questions, and we'll be on our way: (Wait a second) What's your favourite colour? (Stop talking) Do you like cows or goats milk? (Be quiet) Do you have brown hair? What is your blood type?Are you allergic to-"

Polar touches Lawlzor's keyboard in an effort to stop him.

Polar: "SHUT UP!"

Lawlzor: "DON'T TOUCH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

The world starts falling apart. It's a fourm wormhole. The forumers fall inside of the digital landscape of the forum. They are inside of Lawlzor. Poor 3d models of Polar, Juiz, Umbreon, and Lawlzor are cheerfully walking through some subforum, with a bunch of post names hovering around, in a mess.

Lawlzor: "Welcome!... To my digital home, everything's made out of numbers and code."

Juiz: "Huh?"

Umbreon: "Wow we're all computery!"

Polar: "Oh yeah, wow... wow... wow... Because of the computer."

Juiz: "I don't get it. How can it be? If I'm sitting at home, but I'm inside the screen?"

Lawlzor: "But you're not you. You're your digital you. Virtually real, controlled by real you."

Umbreon: "Well if you're not quite real, then I'm not real too. And your not real you, is inside your real you."

Polar: "Oh wow how amazing, and interesting too. But in this digital world, what can we do?"

Polar snaps back into reality outside of the computer and tries to talk to Lawlzor.

Polar: "What can we do?"

-Cut back into Lawlzor-

Lawlzor: "Very good question, but it's up to you! In this digital world, there's over three things to do!"

There are three colorful doors in an empty landscape. Juiz stands in front of the first, Umbreon the second, no one in front of the third.

Juiz: "Hey look a pie chart!"

Juiz points to a pie chart.

Umbreon: "Digital style!"

Umbreon's door reveals Umbreon in a funny outfit.

Lawlzor: "Doing digital dancing, hey this is fun!"

Lawlzor is doing a funny dance behind the third door.

Juiz: "Hey look a bar graph!"

Juiz points to a bar graph.

Umbreon: "Digital style!"

Umbreon's door reveals Umbreon in a funny outfit.

Lawlzor: "Doing digital dancing, hey this is fun!"

Lawlzor is doing a funny dance behind the third door.

Juiz: "Hey look a line graph!"

Juiz points to a line graph.

Umbreon: "Digital style!"

Umbreon's door reveals Umbreon in a funny outfit.

Lawlzor: "Doing digital dancing, hey this is fun!"

Lawlzor is doing a funny dance behind the third door.

Juiz: "Hey look an oblong!"

Juiz points to an oblong.

Umbreon: "Digital style!"

Umbreon's door reveals Umbreon in a funny outfit.

Lawlzor: "Doing digital dancing, hey this is fun!"

Lawlzor is doing a funny dance behind the third door. This time Umbreon is dancing with him.

All of this continues at a fast pace.

Suddenly, Polar snaps into reality. He's staring into Lawlzor, lifelessly.

Polar: "Am I... Still inside of a computer?"

Polar begins to realize that despite the fact that he's outside of Lawlzor, he's still inside of a computer.

It cuts to inside of Lawlzor, where a bunch of mutilated versions of Lawlzor, Juiz, and Umbreon are still dancing, unaware.

Back in reality, the house has gone black, except for Dion sitting in the corner, staring at Polar as he tries to find his way through the dark. All the while, Lawlzor's muffled voice can be heard saying "DIGITAL DANCING", repeatedly.

///////


\\\\\\\

Polar opens the door to your computer screen.

Dion Actor: "too accurate"

Febble Actor: "Of course that's the only reason."

Katz Actor: ";-) hey hey"

Polar stares at me as I move my mouse cursor to the "Post Quick Reply" button.

Polar: "What?"

Polar's head explodes, and he falls lifelessly as the episode e

[Katz]

Episode 5: Food

---

Lawlzor seems to have vanished... Polar remains dead, and Juiz and Umbreon are sitting at the table in their kitchen...

Juiz: "Hmm... Something's different!"

Umbreon: "Something's... Missing."

The two look around. Juiz looks behind him and sees a loaf of bread hitting spoons on jars.

Juiz: "Is it this guy?" (Juiz points to him)

Sane: "Fish and chips! Cha cha cha. Steak and beef! Cha cha cha. Fish and eggs! Steak... Eggs..."

Sane notices he's being watched and drops the spoon.

...

A cabinet swings open, and there's a can named 'Helio's Spinach'.

Helio: "Are you hungry? You look to be a bit hungry?"

Juiz: "No."

Helio: "Doo doo dooo doooo. Lots of people get hungry!"

A big steak, matching Katz's former icon slides into the kitchen.

Katz: "That's your body! Hungry comes from your body!" (Katz pokes Umbreon's stomach)

Umbreon: "Get off me."

Katz: "But your body, it must-a have to be healthy!"

Helio swings over to a slice of cake.

Helio: "What's that? A tasty snack! You don't wanna go and eat a snack like that!"

Katz: "Greedy, to eat all that, you'll end up with your teeth all grey!"

Helio: "Doo doo doo doo"

Helio and Katz: "Doo doo doo doo"

Katz: "Do it healthy!"

Juiz: "Food is talking."

Katz: "Let's get healthy now-"

The phone starts ringing. Juiz and Umbreon look at it confused, Helio and Katz look at it worried. Slowly, Umbreon gets up and lifts the phone to his ear.

Umbreon: "Hello?"

--

Umbreon wakes up, laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to a heart monitor. He looks over and sees Lawlzor besides him, opened to a website called "HealthyFoodz". When Umbreon looks at the screen, he realizes that he, Juiz, Katz, and Helio are all inside of the websi-

--

Katz is standing with Umbreon, Juiz, and Helio, near a diagram of the human body.

Katz: "You see, the body is like a special house, with blood, hair, and organs, in the different rooms. Look, there's Mr. Bladder in the basement!"

Umbreon: "What?"

Katz: "Now food goes in through the chimney -- mouth -- and goes room to room, greeting the different organs!'

Juiz: "Hello!"

Katz: "Now the healthy foods are very nice to the organs, so they're invited to stay. For a party!"

Katz and Helio: "Yay!"

Katz: "But the bad, not healthy foods, are very rude, and must leave through the cat-flap."

Helio: "Rude!"

Umbreon: "That doesn't make sen-"

Helio: "Doo doo doo doooo"

H3l10 and K475: " d00 d00 d00 d00 d00, d0 b3 h34l7hy "

[ phn 1s r1ng1ng ]

mbrn pcks p th phn

----


--------------


----------------------

Suddenly, Umbreon's vision becomes unclouded and he's back where he started in the kitchen, holding a sandwich.

Helio: "What's that? A tasty snack! You don't wanna go and eat a snack like that!"

Katz: "Greedy to eat all that! You'll end up with your gums all grey!"

Umbreon: "But... Something's wrong!"

Helio: "Exactly! How do you know which ones are the healthy foods to eat?"

They're now inside of the previous room. Katz is holding a pitcher of cream up to a tube on the human diagram's mouth.

Katz: "Well, that's easy! The food groups can easily be sorted using the simple health shape! Choosing normal, plain looking foods such as bread, cream, white sauce, and aspic keep the body ticking over just nicely! Isn't that right?"

The diagram gags.

Umbreon: "I need to go!"

Helio is holding a bowl of fruit.

Helio: "Wait! What's this?"

Katz: "Fancy, show-up-y foods, like cooked meats, fruit salad, soil foods, and yolk!"

Helio: "Ugh!"

Katz: "These foods will clog up the body with unnecessary detail!"

The diagram falls of the shelf, and Katz stomps it.

Katz: "Oh no, it's all broken and on the floor!"

It goes back to the kitchen where now the refrigerator, Clemi, is also alive.

Clemi: "Everything tastes great! Maybe we should wait!"

Umbreon: "NO!"

Clemi: "Till you put it on the plate!"

Umbreon: "ENOUGH!"

Clemi: "Or it may be too late!"

Umbreon: "I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!"

Umbreon slaps away the point of few from the post. H strts t fll dwn nd wks p nsd f th'sfj;dk
afsdhalfhdks
afhsk
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kl

---

Umbreon wakes up in the bed again. This time, he notices his organs are exposed. He hears footsteps coming, and in a desperate effort, he turns his head and looks at the website, which he is no longer in.

---

Helio: "What's that? A pizza slice? You're better off with plain white sauce!"

Katz: "What's that? Plain white sauce? Plain white sauce makes your teeth go grey!"

Clemi: "Does it matter? Just throw it away! Why not try something else on your tray?"

Katz: "What's that? A lovely pie? But you're gonna end up sad inside."

Helio: "Ugh sad inside?"

---

Giant cans have approached Umbreon. They each take turns eating his organs, all while he watches in horror.

---

Clemi: "Everyone has their teeth go grey! Just eat yeast and it'll go away!"

Katz: "But how much yeast have you had today? Too much yeast makes your teeth go grey!"

Helio: "How about some onion paste? That sounds fun! Have a taste?"

Helio puts the spoon in Juiz's mouth, which he spits out in disgust.

Katz: "That wasn't onion paste! You shouldn't eat food from a stranger's plate!"

Katz and Helio: "A stranger's plate. A stranger's plate. A stranger's plate. A STRANGER'S PLATE! A STRANGER'S PLATE! A STRANGER'S PLATE! A STRANGER'S PLATE! A STRANGER'S PLATE!"

A can of duck meat with an image resembling Umbreon is spinning in the microwave.

DING!

Juiz looks around. No one is there except for himself.

In the darkness.

Several empty cans of Umbreon meat lay scattered.

Juiz's face is covered in blood.

Feathers protrude from his mouth.

[Juiz]

A can of duck meat with an image resembling Umbreon is spinning in the microwave.

DING!

Juiz looks around. No one is there except for himself.

In the darkness.

Several empty cans of Umbreon meat lay scattered.

Juiz's face is covered in blood.

Feathers protrude from his mouth.

Yum yum yum.

DOO DOO DOO DOO DO IT HEALTHYYYYYYY

[Lancer]

this is beautiful but needs more of this kid

[Katz]

this is beautiful but needs more of this kid

Spoiler, you're a shovel

[Katz]

Finale: Dreams

---

The day is over.

It's dark outside, and Juiz is crying, as he closes a picture book, with various pictures of himself, Polar, Umbreon, and Dion. To the left is a lamp with a big rocket and several planets on it.

Juiz: "Good night guys... I miss you."

Juiz switches his lamp off, and lays down.

Rocket: [Switches back on] "Oh! Looks like somebody's sleepy!"

Juiz: "Huh?"

Rocket: "That's silly!"

Juiz: [Switching Rocket off] "No!"

Rocket: [Switching back on] "How can you be sleepy if you don't know how to have dreams?"

Music starts.

Juiz: "No, no! I don't wanna know how to have dreams-"

Suddenly, Juiz and Rocket are in a warped dream landscape.

Rocket: "Dreams are like videos on the site which you're headed. Dreams are like videos that are not embedded. You can have a dream about riding a horse! You can have a dream about drowning in oil!"

The dreamscape cuts away.

Juiz: "NO! No no no! No more songs!"

When Juiz looks down, he's drowning in oil. He can't get out, and is locked in eye contact with Rocket.

Rocket: "Oh.. Looks like somebody's having... A BAD dream! A BAD dream! BAD Dream! A BAD Dream!"

---

Error 302: Logged Off

---

Polar is laying down, wearing a fancy suit, asleep on his desk at work.

Polar Boss: "Hey. Can you file these files for me?"

This older Polar is holding out a document, which wakes Polar up.

Polar: "Huh. Uh. Yeah."

Polar picks up his file folder and looks at it.

Polar: "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if one of these folders came to life? 'I am a file and, you put documents in me. A doo doo doo,' it's kind of like a song thin-"

Polar Boss: "No. That sounds really boring."

There are a bunch of Polars walking down a huge spiral staircase. We catch our Polar having a drink in a bar full of Polars. He looks around at the different Polars. There's a Polar on stage, badly playing piano.

Background Polar 1: "And then I said, 'that's not even the same bucket'. Hah. Bucket friend."

Background Polar 2: "I'm the cool guy, I guess. Laid back and sad. Nowadays I hurt my leg today."

The chattering Polars grow louder as we see our Polar is nowhere to be seen, his clothes sitting in his chair. The camera pans to show him standing on the stage, setting down a speaker, and holding a microphone. He is in his recognizable 'no-clothes' outfit.

Piano Polar: "That's rude. No clothes." [Exits stage.]

Polar presses play on his speaker, and it starts a generic hip hop beat. He begins to sing.

Polar: "What's your favorite post style? Mine is posting OC! How do you make so much content? I just try to think creatively. When you look at this rep bar, tell me please, what do you see? [Holds up an Umbreon puppet] It's just a green rep bar! [Puts it down] Maybe to you, but not to me. I see a caterpillar-"

Background Polars: "Booo! Booooo!"

Polar: "-Looking up and smiling at me. [Umbreon] I don't see what you mean [Away] Because you're not thinking creatively"

Polars: "I don't like! Really not good! Boooo!"

Polar: "Take a look at my OCs. I use my OCs to express myself!"

Background Polar: "It's not very good at all. Really not good!"

Polar: "I use my OCs to express myself!"

Polar gets boo'd too much to sing though. Polar looks off into the corner and sees Dion, watching him. Once they meet gazes, he gets warped back into a fictional world.

Microphone EDX: "Don't stop now, friend, your voice is music to my face!"

And then Polar starts hearing music. Going on in Juiz's world. He walks towards the sound, and then sees it.

"ERBoH.com Admin Control Panel"

With several screens, labeled with several different names.

"Don't Dance Me I'm Forum"

"Suit of Space"

"Project: Mecha"

"ERBoH.com: Virtual Hell"

Polar looks up at the "Don't Dance Me I'm Forum" screen.

---

Rocket: "You can have a dream about eating a drink! Or you can have a dream about buying a hat! You can have a dream about losing your friends! Or you can have a dream about BURNING your friends!"

---

Polar looks down at the Admin CP and presses the 'Jump to Post' button.

afhdakhjf

---

Rocket morphs into Ranger.

Ranger: "Time is a tool you see on your screen, or glance at on your wrist. The past is far behind us, the future doesn't exist."

Juiz: "What? You?!"

Ranger: "The past is far behind us, the future doesn't exist. Time went new and got old like history, posts from the past turned into a mystery."

Juiz: "You made me die!"

Ranger: "Yes, but now we're in a-"

---

Polar presses a button.

afshalsfkh

---

Lawlzor: "-Computer! I'm a computer-y guy!"

For a brief moment, Juiz becomes his poor 3d model again.

Juiz: "Ah!"

Lawlzor: "Do not fear! For I will show you-"

---

Polar presses the button.

ashfjalsfahf

---

Sambama: "Why we're all here. And what's it all about? You've no idea."

Juiz: "NO!"

Sambama: "And everywhere you look, all you see is hatred, and darkness, death, and-"

---

Polar presses it

asfksalfhsjlah

---

Katz: "-Fear stained beef? Fear stained beef makes your teeth go grey!"

The view of the frame pans to Helio, sitting on Polar's bed.

Helio: "It doesn't matter! Just throw it away! Why not try some-"

Suddenly, Helio starts warping and morphs into Umbreon, laying in his bed, holding a tray.

Umbreon: "-Spam on my tray! What where am Iiiii-"

Umbreon morphs into a model of the solar system, Adonis, playing with a toy rocket.

Adonis: "We are on the ERBoH forums! Subforums live in the forum! You can shitpost on a subform, you can take your shit to the chat!"

Adonis morphs into a floating football, Sanic.

Sanic: "SPORTS BALL. LET'S PLAY SPORTS BALL, CRICKET BALL! RED CARD!"

Sanic morphs into one end of a Magnet, Febble.

Febble: "I'm Febble, and I love the other POLE, I attract it! It's my best friend!"

Febble morphs into a SHoVEL, Mancha.

Mancha: "Let's dig a whole at the bottom of the fo-"

Juiz: "Make it stop!"

Mancha morphs into a talking trumpet, WWEFan.

WWEFan: "Beebadobbabeebop, I'll teach you how to buy a canoooooooooooooooooe."

WWEFan morphs into Polar's File.

Polar's File: "I am a file and, you put documents in me!"

Polar's File turns into a traffic light, Castiel.

Castiel: "-is for post! And red is for not post!"

Castiel morphs into a can of gel, Dr. Penguino.

Dr. Penguino: "Let's talk about MEMES! I know about MEMES!"

---

Everything starts going crazy as Polar mashes the buttons. Suddenly, he feels an extended arm touch him on the shoulder. Looking behind him, he sees Dion, staring menacingly. He expects Dion to attack him, but he's only pointing at the screen, showing his apprentice, Juiz, in torture. Dion can't get close enough to stop it.

Polar looks at Dion and nods, walking towards a huge plug that's connected to the Admin Control Panel. He wraps his hands around it.

Polar: "I wonder what will happen"

Then he pulls the plu-

---

Three fourmers are sitting around a table, doing nothing.

Jill Sandwich, a tall blue guy with hair that covers his face, and eyes on his head.

Jirachibi, a red duck wearing the latest of digital style.

Noctis, a special, slow guy with green skin and yellow hair.

They all sit in silence, until a sketchbook, Snownoa, comes to life.

Snownoa: "What's your favorite post type-"

[Dion]

Nicely done, Katz.