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Thread: Klonoa's Official Review Thread

  1. #41
    Klonoa's Avatar Tao of Blue
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    Is this the only review of Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2 on the forum? Well, I'll be the first one to do it!

    The Beat:
    I don't think it's a bad beat. It's intense, and it really gives the sense that this is a true argument between the two. Some of the things are really repetitive, but I'm glad there are softer parts and more intense parts. Compared to the first battle, I think this is much, much better. And yeah, while sometimes Peter and Lloyd go off the main beat, this track is there to keep everything on time. It's not bad.
    8.5/10

    The Costumes and Impressions:
    So since both of them usually play themselves, this is only getting 5 points. The only real impressions is Peter mimicking Lloyd with his hat and buttoned shirt. It's really well done, and the little joke about having to get off of the box since he's too short is funny.
    5/5

    The Visuals:
    So yeah, a big issue for many people. Some people hate these reused backgrounds, saying it's lazy, and others say it's good. Some say they would rather have Peter and Lloyd dress up as some old characters, like in the first video, when they dressed up as a few of the rappers and reused some footage.

    In my opinion, I think what they did here was perfectly fine. First, we get to see the studio in an actual battle, which is cool. It's a very nice trip down memory lane to me. I found myself going "Hey, that's the background for Gandalf vs Dumbledore!" and "They used the Houdini and Copperfield background!" throughout the video. Sure, maybe it would have been extra cool to have them don their characters' outfits in their respective locations, but this is fine to me. And the whole bit with the meta YouTube page? Really cool.
    9/10

    Nice Peter:
    I'm fucking burnt out, man! It's been six years every day
    That I wake up and come to work to look at your hungover face!
    Mhm.
    I need some personal space to get away from your screaming,
    But every time I turn my back, mother fucker, you start scheming
    To take over control of some shit I'm already doing just fine
    Okay, okay.
    We'd have more subs than PewDiePie if you didn't fight me every time
    This was funny. I liked this line, actually.
    I try to take our little baby in a creative direction!
    I'm trying to make art, mother fucker; you're trying to find a rhyme for erection!
    And this is very true, for Peter. We've seen him take so many risks this season, and while some have flopped, you can't say he wasn't brave. Nice comparison to make Lloyd seem like a child.
    I'm sorry, man! No, I'm fucking not! Fuck you!
    This was actually pretty funny to see and hear.
    You're second class! That's why I let you run ERB2!
    This is the most savage line from Peter in this whole verse.
    You're so afraid to lose, but losing's all you do,
    And tonight, I'm not quitting the battles! Bitch, I'm quitting you!
    Nice callback to the previous battle between them.


    EpicLLOYD:
    Quit me then, you pussy! We'll see what happens!
    I'll sit back and watch you unravel and revel in pure satisfaction!
    Nice way to say that Peter is nothing without Lloyd.
    I'm out of compassion for you and your self-righteous bullshit!
    Erection jokes, dude? Your whole name means dick!
    Nice rebuttal, Lloyd.
    I'm sick of smoothing things out! The same routine
    ERB2 is right! I'm covering your ass behind the scenes,
    Lloyd with the rebuttals, man. Though I don't know if it's effective as Peter's point before.
    And then I try to tell you things, but you're too stubborn to understand!
    Like, dude, that is not a cool way to play Batman!
    Everyone's favorite gold line is nothing short of gold.
    You manipulate your friends, and then you throw them away!
    I don't know who you shit on worse: myself or Dante!
    And now we get to the point where Lloyd says Peter is so stubborn. And manipulative. And I can hear their emotion.
    But I'm not an entrée at one of your fancy restaurants,
    I do like these inside jokes, though.
    So quit eating up my time picking one of your fancy fonts,
    And make a fucking decision so all these people can leave!
    Excuse me for interrupting Rocket League and smoking weed!
    Excellent lines. Nice way of demeaning Peter's position.
    They got places to be, and now they're looking at me!
    Nice Diva is my new name for you, Nice Pete!
    Not as effective of an ending line as Peter's but still good.


    Nice Peter:
    And doink! Nice punchline, bro.
    Your jokes haven't grown since you told them in a lunch line, bro!
    You're an eight-year-old boy stuck inside a whatever-year-old man!
    Nice reaffirming of how Lloyd is just a little kid.
    "(Argh!) Look at me! I'm EpicLLOYD! Check me out! I can
    Rap about my problems instead of solving them!"
    Very good. Nice Lloyd impression.
    If you wanna heal, you gotta deal with your issues 'cause a bottle's not stopping them!
    Ouch, now that's a burn.


    EpicLLOYD:
    Don't take this battle there, dude. You don't want that at all!
    Let me guess: right now you're on two beers and a pill and a half of Adderall,
    But Lloyd can easily come back, though not as effective as Peter again, I think.
    And that makes you obsessive, and then you fuck up all the fun,
    So why don't you trust the editors and stop changing their shit after they're done?
    Not bad.

    So I don't exactly know who won here, if anyone at all. Maybe Lloyd did, but maybe Peter did. Yeah, in arguments there could be a winner, but when there's no winner, does that make it better or worse? Either way, collectively, I'd say that the verses get about an 8.5/10.

    The Last Bit and Their Emotion:
    Yo, I guess what I'm saying, man, is that I'm running out of patience, man!
    I'm a patient man, but sometimes you need to be a patient, man!
    Everyone's favorite line. Aside from Batman.
    I got the same shit that I was dealing with at the very beginning!
    I'm trying to get somewhere with it, man, but all your bitching is keeping my wheels spinning!


    I've fought with my wife and gone under the knife,
    And I've taken years off of the back of my life!
    Man, since right in the beginning we been fighting! No one's winning!
    Mentioning this is really nice of them.
    People would kill to do what we do for a living! Your bitching is keeping my wheels spinning!

    Huh. A new part that I added for this battle. I want to focus more on their emotion. Yeah, they're really upset with each other and now they're practically screaming at each other. But you can tell that they both need a break, and they're tired, and they can't take more of it much longer. Both of them want to keep doing this, yet both of them have had enough of the other. With Peter, he's trying, from what I'm seeing, to let ERB grow and Lloyd has other ideas. He's trying to be accepting, but he has to draw the line somewhere, yet that's what's fueling him more.
    For Lloyd, he's sick and tired of this yet he wants to do more as well. However, all this is truly taxing him, and he wants a break, but being with Peter is what gives him the drive to work more, as much as it hurts him.

    For all that, when they truly mean what they say and we can get a glimpse of what their inside lives are like instead of just seeing them as creators of ERB, I have to give this a 10/10.

    Oh, and also the patient man line.


    Peter's Best Lines: If you wanna heal, you gotta deal with your issues 'cause a bottle's not stopping them!
    Lloyd's Best Line: Like, dude, that is not a cool way to play Batman!
    I'm not doing Worst Lines here. Doesn't seem fair.

    The Beat - 8.5/10
    The Costumes and Impressions - 5/5
    The Visuals - 9/10
    The Verses - 8.5/10
    The Last Bit and Emotion - 10/10

    Final Score
    - 41/50 or 91%

    Overall:
    Yeah, some people love it, and looking at the like-dislike ratio on YouTube, you can see it. So why would some people not like this? Well, it's not exactly a battle of history, but more of an argument. If they wanted to take a break, why not say so? And there's a whole bunch of other reasons that I won't mention, but I acknowledge them all. As for me, I liked it. And if you don't like it, that's perfectly fine, too. We all have our own decisions. But for me, I do appreciate them showing who they really are when not working on battles, giving us a look at their struggles, their problems. Showing themselves as vulnerable yet very headstrong people, as much of a paradox as that is, is what makes me like this battle.

    After all, if they're credited as "Nice Peter: Himself" and "EpicLLOYD: Himself", they should very well be themselves, who they really are.





    ....Or maybe I'm just over-analyzing this whole thing and it sucks.
    Last edited by Klonoa; 01-25-2017 at 04:53 PM.

    Juiz: You can quote me on this: Klonoa is my favorite son.

  2. #42
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    I disagree of course rip but hey it's good that you enjoyed it

  3. #43
    Turtlesauce's Avatar 2016 Writer of the Year
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    I'm glad someone sees it like I see it, loved this review
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    I will delete this forum.

  4. #44
    Brad's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Great review, shows how a differing opinion can still make for a very good review


    Woah Mama:

    Spoiler: 




    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    when you make a post and brad instantly buries it and you decide that maybe suicide is the answer
    Quote Originally Posted by Sane
    Brad didn't do shit to save the forum it was all NukeL3AR
    Quote Originally Posted by Turtle
    fking brad with his white writing on a white background
    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig
    Brad I swear to god I'll Fortnite dance on your grave
    Quote Originally Posted by Adonis
    brad can i hit ur juul please bro just one hit
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    “Bumblin’” Brad sent in a paper claiming to have “interviewed” me! Wrong! I have done no such thing, and Liddle Bradley had to sit in his room by himself and make up quotes in order to get his work “published”. Despite the negative forum covfefe, the Fake News Media controlled by Globalist Sam Bama is whipping itself into a frenzy trying to make up lies about your favorite forumer (Me!)

  5. #45
    Klonoa's Avatar Tao of Blue
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    It's been over two weeks since the last review. Might as well do something to lighten up this section. The next one is Gunnut and Kubby's REWF. Let's see how this goes.

    Gunnut:
    Bien, ¡un Pollock! I love Europeans!
    This might be tricky without a reference guide for Gunnut. Aside from the Pollock thing, at least I can understand everything else.
    At least, the ones my ancestors Sparta-kicked into submission in the 30’s, Fraulein
    I can't see how Fraulein rhymes with Europeans.
    (*Huagh*) I’m into REWF’in’, going back to my parodied Premiere-Versailles of Putin
    I think this means "I've been REWFing for a long time."
    Single-sticking myself Up Dion’s ass for Intern like ♫ “O, Canada, Dindin!” ♫
    Wow, how are you managing to say all this lines in time with the meter?
    I use powerful English prose like it’s AP Lang./Comp. Or Lit.
    ...Definitely powerful.
    I’m an Aryan prodigy, you’re the last of those who Prob “won” it
    Calling yourself a prodigy? Okay, but in what? You gotta give me something to be a virtuoso in.
    I mean, the actual fuck! What happened to your forces?
    We had Panther-Style tanks, you fought with spears, stones, sticks, and Mini-Sex Horses
    So I don't know which time period we're talking about here. Okay, I see the WWII German Panther tanks on Google. But in WWII Poland used some pretty effective stuff, too. I'll do more research in a second.
    And, let’s get this Straight, you’ve got, like, 12 Wit
    I can actually say this line with the beat!
    You tossed together the lore for James Prost so I could weld the pieces into Boost, bitch
    I can't say this one, though.
    Your whole “Safe” haven country isn’t even well known as per accents
    I suppose this is kinda true.
    Jennifer Coolidge sounds closer to you Guys when she’s off-Season with CBS
    Kind of a really random reference.
    Never Face Up to me 1v1, you Das Auto-philic, hyperinflated, Narc-iccist Petty First M8
    Instead of shoving all these references into one long line, why not spreading them out so you can elaborate more of them and make better jokes next time?
    Why don’t you come to the States for quality shit from Rockefeller’s estate?
    Okay.
    I’ll crash via GMC Venturous Journey into this scared Straight anti-Gunny with Great speed
    Then Bust-a-Nut on his OC’s, and Drill them á la Mozambique!
    The thing is, some of these jokes aren't that bad. They just need relevance and shorter lines to fit them all into. And rewording, too.

    I'm looking at the last REWF of yours that you wanted me to review, and then this one. ...Either you rap crazy fast or you got really excited with references. The Roosevelt vs Churchill battle is 75 beats per minute. I can't even rap some of these lines in 50. (yeah, I did the math and checked) I'll be super generous and give you a 6/10.


    Kubby:
    Pass me some petrol, burning you is my intention
    Nice opener. I like it so far.
    You’re gonna get played by me, like in Turtle’s Mansion.
    Damn, that's a pretty awesome line. Keep it up!
    I’ll drive you insane, fresh in a seat of my estate Škoda
    Ha, nice driving pun. You know, I really want to ride in one. They look nice.
    You’re like a mix of a DB loser and a jebany idiota
    Not a bad line either.
    While my ancestors saved London in the Battle of Britain
    "You can thank me later, Ranger" HA.
    Yours gave no shit about Czechs you oh so want to be with
    Nice way to counter his historical comments with some history of your own.
    You were born asthmatic, and have a fetish for stealth
    Decent line, not as hard hitting as the others.
    While I was born 4 weeks early and still got perfect health.
    Definitely something to boast about. Very nice parody of the original line.
    I’m cool without an AC, made a better game than AC
    Really, really nice relevant references. Though the whole better thing might be opinionated, but still, being able to help make a game is a damn good boast.
    You’ll never be the Deadliest, so you better stik to r***, see?
    Ouch. Harsh.
    And now I’m winning this, even if I’m not a REWFing force
    Okay line.
    But my name says I’m a badass, you’re too cowardly to let me say yours
    Fantastic finisher to a fantastic verse.

    The reference guide definitely helped so much. I really, really liked this verse. Well done! I want to give it a solid 8.5/10.


    Gunnut:
    I almost drowned out the womb so my mom could survive just how swag Capricorn me woulda been...
    Okay, let's see if I can translate this. Um......... "I was born early because my mom wouldn't have survived having me as a Capricorn because I'd be super awesome"? Is that right?
    Well, at least I can say I’ve been closer to Swimming in Pussy than the children of the Ded Straw-Pols from your homeland, Then
    I like the Pole/Poll joke. But I can't translate this no matter how hard I try.
    Oh shit, did I trigger some stressor, my silly lil’ Pes?
    I... can't find a similarity between stressors and dogs. Is there even one? Beacuse I'm trying to find out why you called him a "dog" in Czech. Unless that was just a random add-in.
    Well this Cherokee national’s slingin’ Nukes from below, so you’d best heed our only Side Note if you know what’s best
    I can manage to say this line at 35 beats per minute. That might be a problem for most people.
    Ooh! You should be embarrassed with the way your Ascendants fought the Germans!
    Okay, this is a decent setup.
    We all know you’re behind your keyboard like “Whew, good thing my grandad didn’t have such a shit Pole-arm in hand!”
    And I quote from the Internet: "Contrary to German propaganda, Polish cavalry brigades never charged tanks with their sabres or lances as they were equipped with anti-tank weapons such as 37 mm Bofors wz.36 (exported to UK as Ordnance Q.F. 37 mm Mk I) antitank guns, that could penetrate 26 mm of armour at 600 m at 30 degrees." (Right here. Near the bottom.) You've referenced a false myth.
    Don’t worry, I can buff you for the sake of balance:
    How’s...an HK in 9mm Parabellum to remind who I am when you’re not thrusting your fucking Echosmithed Lance!
    You might have overstuffed your verses too much.

    Yeah, just a little bit. The best lines of this verse were the two at the bottom, in my opinion. I think a 5.5/10 is me being kind.


    Kubby:
    I didn’t think you’d have the courage, I see it as kinda ballsy
    I'm not seeing anything in here. Even the ref guide agrees with me.
    To let my original characters curbstomp your self-insert clOne-Cs
    Ooh. Nice one.
    You’re no Intern, you’ve got no foresight to be a leader
    Nice joke about his vision. And a slick burn about his leadership.
    And now that I think about it, you’ve got no points for sight, either
    Yeah, what I said earlier.
    No, really, I appreciate your efforts to be one of them
    A filler line, but I can actually see Kubby saying this, which is great.
    But if you were mod material, you would not have been banned
    "them" and "banned" don't rhyme super well in my ear, but the line makes up for it.
    Here’s a gun nut, showing ‘murican stereotypes to be the real deal

    If the metric system doesn’t stop you there, a manual gearbox will
    Hey. I can drive stick. (Not well, but that's besides the point.) But either way, great American stereotype jokes.

    This verse is even better than the first one, and it's great. I gotta give you a 9.25/10 here. It's so impressive.


    Gunnut:
    A car with a payload can’t beat Walt White’s Mk. 43 M60!
    Breaking Bad reference, right? Not bad.
    G-N-T will unload on Kubby the whole Rust Belt-fed magazine!
    Uh... what does the Rust Belt have to do with this again? Walter White? But I thought he was from Cali and moved to New Mexico?

    This will be counted with the second verse.


    Kubby:
    Unload all you want, I’ll refute all the bullets you’ve got!
    Nice subtle reference that's pretty relevant and worded very well.
    You’re still in TJB-mode, I win this battle by default!
    Niiiiiice ending.

    And this too.

    Gunnut's Best Line - Then Bust-a-Nut on his OC’s, and Drill them á la Mozambique!
    Gunnut's Worst Line - We all know you’re behind your keyboard like “Whew, good thing my grandad didn’t have such a shit Pole-arm in hand!”

    Kubby's Best Line
    - You’re still in TJB-mode, I win this battle by default!
    Kubby's Worst Line - I didn’t think you’d have the courage, I see it as kinda ballsy

    Gunnut - 11.5/20
    Kubby - 17.75/20- WINNER!

    And next time, we move on back to regular ERBs, regardless if I get a REWF to review or not.

    Juiz: You can quote me on this: Klonoa is my favorite son.

  6. #46
    Brad's Avatar Super Moderator
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    I like your reviews and you are clearly a major part of the review section with these my friend


    Woah Mama:

    Spoiler: 




    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    when you make a post and brad instantly buries it and you decide that maybe suicide is the answer
    Quote Originally Posted by Sane
    Brad didn't do shit to save the forum it was all NukeL3AR
    Quote Originally Posted by Turtle
    fking brad with his white writing on a white background
    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig
    Brad I swear to god I'll Fortnite dance on your grave
    Quote Originally Posted by Adonis
    brad can i hit ur juul please bro just one hit
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    “Bumblin’” Brad sent in a paper claiming to have “interviewed” me! Wrong! I have done no such thing, and Liddle Bradley had to sit in his room by himself and make up quotes in order to get his work “published”. Despite the negative forum covfefe, the Fake News Media controlled by Globalist Sam Bama is whipping itself into a frenzy trying to make up lies about your favorite forumer (Me!)

  7. #47
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    Great review Klo :3
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

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