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Thread: LAWLzoR's Rap Projects

  1. #1
    LAWLzoR's Avatar 2016 Rapper of the Year
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    LAWLzoR's Rap Projects

    Hello everyone! I know I made a finale a while ago, but I made it thinking I wouldn't have enough time to write more rap battles. I also made it because I knew I wouldn't be able to make as many as I did before. But it seems I have a lot of time on my hands, and I got some ideas. This one is no holding back. Doesn't have to include history (though I will include history because it's amazing) and it could be anyone as long as I think I can do it!

    This also won't have any regularity really, just when I get stuff done. Can't wait to share some battles!
    Spoiler: 



  2. #2
    LAWLzoR's Avatar 2016 Rapper of the Year
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    SOLDIER (TF2)
    VS
    MASTER CHIEF

    BEGIN!

    The Soldier:
    Listen up maggot! Sargent Doe is on the premises
    I’ll be dominating so hard that I’ll be your new nemesis
    Any cyborg fruit basket who steps to me is a dead Mann
    I’m making millions off of hats and taking craps in your head can
    Banshees? Please! Not a chance against a Market Garden
    No hippy science in me, I’m simply battle-hardened
    Became a space marine, John, and I didn’t even try
    I spit straight courage, you couldn’t look me in the eye!
    How’re you so famous? You’ve been average all along
    Can you guess? It was luck, am I wrong?

    Master Chief:
    After Ackerson I thought I’d face something harder
    Not a Jingoist soldier who just wants to hat-barter
    You’re an idiotic oaf I’m an obliterator
    I’m masterminding this conflict like an Administrator
    Against my fists your puny rockets aren’t shit
    Your best hope to beat me is a lucky random crit
    Can’t Gun Mettle with me Doe, you’ve Met Your Match
    I’m a decorated marine, all your medals are trash
    Forget Battle of Earth. In this bout, you really bombed it
    Your whole verse was a joke, stick to Let’s Plays and comics

    Soldier:
    You take that back, cosmonaut! I’ll kick your ass back to Mars!
    Get ready for an Über. Medic! I am fully charged!
    I’ll burn you like Hale’s desk, your flesh will fall off the bones
    I’m a fearless warrior! I neck-snapped Tom Jones!
    You borrowed Red vs. Blue, Master Chief, you’re in debt
    I made bank like Mann Co., you got a profit of regret!


    Master Chief:
    Act like your quack and hide behind your team
    I’ve taken on armies, fuck Mann vs. Machine
    Think you’re smart? Let me give Cortana a call
    It seems Jane Doe is the most dim-witted one of them all
    “The leading team based shooter” I don’t give two farts
    I just dropped bombs as if they were carts

    --

    Reference Guide to Soldier (TF2) vs Master Chief
    Spoiler: 

    The Soldier:
    Listen up maggot! Sergeant Doe is on the premises
    -Soldier often uses the term “Maggot” as an insult. His full name is “Jane Doe” and he is a self-promoted sergeant, so he refers to himself as Sergeant Doe.

    I’ll be dominating so hard that I’ll be your new nemesis
    -He’s claiming he’ll dominate this battle. In Team Fortress 2 (TF2) if a player kills another player 3 times without that player killing them, the killer will be “dominating” the killed. Also in the game, the person being dominated will see their dominator branded as their “nemesis” until the person being dominated kills them at least once.

    Any cyborg fruit basket who steps to me is a dead Mann
    -He’s claiming that Master Chief is a cyborg instead of a human. Soldier also uses “fruit basket” as an insult often in the game. This is also a reference to Gray Mann who extended his life by becoming part cyborg and powered by a material called Australium (that’s a story for another time). Gray Mann tried to kill Soldier and the rest of the mercenaries, so because Gray stepped up to Soldier, he became a “dead Mann” because his last name is Mann. Hehehehe.

    I’m making millions off of hats and taking craps in your head can
    -TF2 is often jokingly called the first “hat based shooter,” and the hats in TF2 are perhaps the biggest money maker for Valve and the TF2 team. The rest of the line is a partially generic insult about Master Chief’s headwear.

    Banshees? Please! Not a chance against a Market Garden
    -He’s claiming that the Banshees in the Halo series (which is a sort of alien/Covenant single-man jet that can shoot and fly) is no match against a Market Garden, which is when a Soldier kills an opponent with the “Market Gardener” weapon, which grants 100% chance for a critical hit while the Soldier is in the air, such as when he’s rocket jumping.

    No hippy science in me, I’m simply battle-hardened
    -When Master Chief was young, he was experimented on and enhanced to become a Spartan super soldier. Soldier is claiming that he didn’t need those enhancements, he’s simply experienced.

    Became a space marine, John, and I didn’t even try
    -TF2 has a series of comics that act as the game’s main storyline. In one of the comics, a spaceship crashes down near Soldier, and it contained laser weapons. Soldier then semi-jokingly said he had joined the “space marines.” Master Chief’s name is technically John 117.

    I spit straight courage, you couldn’t look me in the eye!
    -In one of the comics, Soldier refers to his mouth as a “courage hole,” thus making him “spit straight courage.” The part about looking soldier in the eye is a double pun, because Master Chief is always seen behind his helmet, making it easy for him not to look Soldier in the eye. The Soldier himself as well almost always has his eyes hidden behind his helmet and other hats.

    How’re you so famous? You’ve been average all along
    -Halo is pretty famous. Cortana, at the beginning of Halo 3, was telling the story about why she chose Master Chief above all the other Spartan trainees, and she mentioned how Master Chief was not more experienced, strong, or swift as all the others. Other than those references, this is a set up for the next line.

    Can you guess? It was luck, am I wrong?
    -The rest of what Cortana said in the Halo 3 quote I mentioned just before, she said that there was one reason why she picked him above all the other Spartan trainees. She then asked “Can you guess? It was luck. Was I wrong?” Soldier is using that quote as an insult to say that Master Chief never had skill, rather he always had luck.

    Master Chief:
    After Ackerson I thought I’d face something harder
    -James Ackerson, a high-ranking person in the Spartan III program (the program to bring new Spartan warriors into the fray) put Master Chief (a Spartan II) to what Ackerson thought was an impossible test, and was trying to kill Master Chief. Master Chief won anyway.

    Not a Jingoist soldier who just wants to hat-barter
    -Soldier is Jingoistic, often calling the Heavy a communist, calling the Sniper a hobbit, calling the Medic “fritz” and other names against the classes who are from other countries. The part about hat-bartering is also a joke about hat trading in TF2.

    You’re an idiotic oaf I’m an obliterator
    -A fairly generic insult against Soldier. A set up for the next line.

    I’m masterminding this conflict like an Administrator
    -In the TF2 comics (and in the game) there is an elderly woman called “the Administrator.” She’s the voice telling the RED and BLU teams how much time is remaining and whether or not a capture point has been captured. In the comics, it also seems that the Administrator has been masterminding the war with RED and BLU in search for Australium that I had mentioned earlier.

    Against my fists your puny rockets aren’t shit
    -In the Ackerson test, the jets used against Master Chief shot heat seeking rockets that Master Chief could not outrun. Using Cortana’s calculations, he chose the exact moment to deflect the rockets with his arm.

    Your best hope to beat me is a lucky random crit
    -A big complaint in TF2 is the use of random crits, which is exactly what it sounds: there is a random chance to deal critical damage. The complaint against this is that it requires no skill. Master Chief is claiming that Soldier’s skill cannot beat him, rather Soldier needs a random crit to win.

    Can’t Gun Mettle with me Doe, you’ve Met Your Match
    -The line uses puns based on two famous and big updates “Gun Mettle” and “Meet Your Match.”

    I’m a decorated marine, all your medals are trash
    -According to Halo canon, Master Chief has received every medal other than the POW medal. Soldier also has medals, but he made all of them himself out of trash and bottle caps.

    Forget Battle of Earth. In this bout, you really bombed it
    -In Halo 2 in Battle of Earth, the Covenant (the alien dudes) sent a bomb to explode one of the ships of the space marines. Master Chief sent the bomb back himself to explode one of the alien ships himself. The pun then comes in that despite Master Chief having literally bombed the alien ship, he says Soldier bombed this battle.

    Your whole verse was a joke, stick to Let’s Plays and comics
    -TF2 is somewhat of a joke game. It can be taken seriously, but the rocket jumps, jokes, insults, and others indicate that the game was meant to be taken as more of a joke. Soldier’s verse, according to Master Chief, is the same way. As mentioned before, TF2 is also a comic series, and there are many Let’s Play videos on Youtube. Master Chief is saying to forget the rapping business and go back to comics and Youtube videos.

    Soldier:
    You take that back, cosmonaut! I’ll kick your ass back to Mars!
    -As mentioned before, Soldier is Jingoistic, so he uses “cosmonaut” as an insult. It’s also because Master Chief looks like an astronaut. As an added insult to the whole space theme, he says he’ll kick him back to Mars. Soldier also uses “kick your ass” as an insult he uses a lot.

    Get ready for an Über. Medic! I am fully charged!
    -Übercharges (Übers for short) grant invincibility to the Medic and his heal target for eight seconds. This usually allows for a big push into the enemy’s ranks.

    I’ll burn you like Hale’s desk, your flesh will fall off the bones
    -In one of the comics for TF2, Gray Mann gets his hand burned when he placed it on Saxton Hale’s (the former CEO of Mann Co.) desk, because his desk top is a grill. Gray Mann proceeds to say “My flesh falls off the bone!”

    I’m a fearless warrior! I neck-snapped Tom Jones!
    -A generic line followed by something that happened in the TF2 comics. He’s saying how he’s fearless and won’t not kill anyone.

    You borrowed Red vs. Blue, Master Chief, you’re in debt
    -The relatively famous RoosterTeeth series “Red vs. Blue” is made with Halo. All game types in TF2 are essentially a red team versus a blue team, so Solder is saying that Master Chief is in debt to TF2 for coming up with the idea.

    I made bank like Mann Co., you got a profit of regret!
    -Mann Co. is the fictional company that Saxton Hale used to own. It made millions of dollars by selling weapons and hats and gear. In the Halo series, the Covenant have three prophets, one of whom is called the Prophet of Regret, hence the pun of using “profit” instead of “prophet.” He’s saying Master Chief will only regret the rap battle.


    Master Chief:
    Act like your quack and hide behind your team
    -A “quack” is an insulting term for a doctor, or a doctor who doesn’t know what they are doing. In TF2, the Medic tends to hide behind other classes so they can stay alive and heal everyone.

    I’ve taken on armies, fuck Mann vs. Machine
    -Throughout the Halo series, Master Chief seems to take on hordes of the Covenant with only a few other teammates. This is a similar concept to Mann vs. Machine in which a group of six players fight hordes of robots. Master Chief is claiming his situation is better than Soldier’s and is more impressive.

    Think you’re smart? Let me give Cortana a call
    -I’ll be honest, this is a generic line that leads into the next line. Cortana is the famous AI woman that Master Chief goes through the series with. She has shown to have the ability to hack into information sources. Master Chief is “calling” Cortana for information on Soldier’s intelligence.

    It seems Jane Doe is the most dim-witted one of them all
    -In the comics, Soldier is depicted as perhaps the most dim-witted of the nine mercenaries. Where not all mercenaries are smart, they all have a sense of knowing enough. Soldier does not.

    “The leading class based shooter” I don’t give two farts
    -Amongst class based shooters, TF2 is perhaps one of the most well-known, however Master Chief is saying he doesn’t care, saying he doesn’t “give two farts.” The term “two farts” is a reference to the town of Teufort’s history. Teufort is the main city in the TF2 canon that everything happens around (but never in). In the mid-1800s, a group of bullies forced the mayor to rename the town from Hugginsville to “Two Farts.” It was changed to Teufort after some time.

    I just dropped bombs harder than if they were carts
    -In TF2, the signature game mode in the game is called Payload. In the game mode, BLU team needs to push a cart that has a large bomb on it into a pit to win. When the cart is pushed into the pit, a massive explosion happens. Thus, dropping bombs harder than the cart would mean he, how the kids call it, totally pwned Soldier really well and stylishly.
    Last edited by LAWLzoR; 12-02-2016 at 10:48 AM.
    Spoiler: 



  3. #3
    LAWLzoR's Avatar 2016 Rapper of the Year
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    guys guys guys
    Ishiwara Kanji was a Japanese general in the 1930s and really wanted to puppet Manchuria (it was puppeted and named Manchukuo in 1932). To do this, Ishiwara (and other nationalist groups in the military) staged attacks on their own troops, faking fire fights, actually exploding their own railroads, and assassinated a big warlord in the Manchurian region. Ishiwara relied on conspiracy and violence to expand Japan.

    with that in mind

    George W. Bush vs. Ishiwara Kanji? (I'm not saying Bush did 9/11 or anything, but i think the match up would be funny and historical).
    Spoiler: 



  4. #4
    Brad's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Don't know anything about Ishiwara Kangi. Also Master Chief won even though Soldier was good and I like his character more.


    Spoiler: 

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    when you make a post and brad instantly buries it and you decide that maybe suicide is the answer
    Quote Originally Posted by Sane
    Brad didn't do shit to save the forum it was all NukeL3AR
    Quote Originally Posted by Turtle
    fking brad with his white writing on a white background
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Attention Fortnite Gamers: John Wick needs your help! Here is my ex-wife's phone number, call her and ask her why I can't see the kids anymore
    Quote Originally Posted by Adonis
    brad can i hit ur juul please bro just one hit

  5. #5
    LAWLzoR's Avatar 2016 Rapper of the Year
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brad View Post
    Don't know anything about Ishiwara Kangi. Also Master Chief won even though Soldier was good and I like his character more.
    That'd be part of the fun! You'd learn (a minimal amount) about Ishiwara.
    and thank you c:
    Spoiler: 



  6. #6
    LAWLzoR's Avatar 2016 Rapper of the Year
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    Okay, after further research into Ishiwara Kanji, he didn't work with a lot of lines I had already though of, so I ditched the idea. I do have other ideas however.

    John F. Kennedy vs Ronald Reagan (the face of modern liberalism vs the face of modern conservativism (in the USA at least))

    Confucius vs John Locke (the philosopher who shaped Chinese (and other Eastern countries' and cultures') governance and philosophy vs the philosopher who shaped Western governance and philosophy)

    John Phillip Sousa vs Skrillex/John Williams (The 19th and early 20th century face of American marching music vs the face of 20th and/or 21st century instrumental entertainment music)

    Mansa Musa vs Nelson Mandela (two great and famous leaders of Africa, one probably the richest person to ever live (or one of the richest) and the other a face for anti-apartheid and integration)

    Shogun Tokugawa Ieyasu vs William the Conqueror/Qin Shi Huangdi (rap battle between two rulers who had to conquer neighboring states to unify their respective areas (Tokugawa - Japan; William the Conqueror - England; Qin Shi Huangdi - China)

    General Douglass MacArthur vs General Antonio Luna (the commander of the US Pacific armed forces (essentially the guy who was running the show in the Pacific during WWII) vs a Filipino general who fought the US to maintain the Philippines' independence, unfortunately being defeated, leading to the Philippines to become a puppet state under US influence)

    and others i might come up with later
    Last edited by LAWLzoR; 04-14-2017 at 04:58 PM.
    Spoiler: 



  7. #7
    LAWLzoR's Avatar 2016 Rapper of the Year
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    JOHN BROWN

    VS

    RICHARD SPENCER

    BEGIN!

    Brown:
    As it was God's will for me to fight against injustice
    I believe that this battle will also not end bloodless
    I'm a giant in history, you're just a wannabe Nazi
    who can't lead shit other than a racist redneck posse
    just ask Victor Hugo how Europe sees me and sees you
    man you're such a cunt you can't set foot in the EU!
    you're an expensive prick, thousands for your security
    just for you to puss out and cause a state of emergency
    I lit the fire of freedom, fought against the dark forces
    all you will ever light are some dorks' Tiki torches!

    Spencer:
    Just hang tight, Johnny, let this patriot have a turn
    cuz just like Lawrence you're gonna get fucking burned
    I'm the Vanguard of free speech, you have the face of a terrorist
    even scholars agree - you need to find a fucking therapist!
    cuz your call for violence is cowardice, not toughness
    think that's weak willed? Say that to your Fred Douglass
    Your League is no match for the Goliath of the Right
    think the South was the traitor? You betrayed your fellow whites!
    You preach fire and sulfur, but guess what Brown? You don't scare me
    keep up your resistance and this will end like Harpers Ferry

    Brown:
    Brown pulls out a revolver
    Shut the fuck up! Your fucks shoot up opposition
    then you claim peace while bodies pile with the mortician
    This man is all talk, but I pray he lacks action
    the land of the free will not fall to your crack faction

    Spencer:
    Spencer pulls out a pistol
    This battle needs to be cleansed! Even your name is Brown!
    haven't killed anyone, but I'm about to claim this clown
    get out of your safe space and have a real discussion
    after the next rally, I'll bring my boys up to diss Tubman

    Brown:
    Brown aims his revolver at Spencer
    Strike me down, and I'll make this battle glorious like the Cross!
    they'll sing hymns to my body! No matter what, you've lost!

    Spencer:
    Spencer aims his pistol at Brown
    I'm taking back this country! I don't give a shit about your hymnary!
    Hail Trump! Hail our people! Hail victory!

    Spencer and Brown shoot each other at the same time. They flinch, then the screen goes black.

    uh...
    Who won?
    Who's next?
    You decide
    Spoiler: 



  8. #8
    Originally Posted by Sane
    Brad didn't do shit to save the forum it was all NukeL3AR

    What? Where was this posted? What did he mean by "posting shit"? Do you think I post shit?

    Sorry. Too many questions at once. But seriously, I didn't know my "shitpost" annoyed people. I just wanted to post regular, fun rap battle games that people could enjoy to keep this website alive. If you think that's shitpost, I'm perfectly fine with your opinion. I just need to know why.

    So, I'll summarize all my questions into two: What makes my posts shit? How could I improve my posts?

    P.S.: I am new here and I am used to live forums where posting a lot isn't considered as shitpost, but just as posting a lot.

  9. #9
    LAWLzoR's Avatar 2016 Rapper of the Year
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    Hey y'all, with ERB coming back and more free time coming up with winter break, I got inspired to make another battle! It's still in its beginning and planning stages, but here are some lines for both rappers I came up with. Wanna see if you guys can get it

    I see your son didn’t take after your position with Intelligence
    I mean really! Do you think he could even spell out “eloquence”?

    Your accomplishments are for you to trash and none to see
    Got overshadowed by 1 and 3, I’m sorry to say, Your Rotundity
    Spoiler: 



  10. #10
    YellowNerd's Avatar More Blonde in your Movie
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    Quote Originally Posted by LAWLzoR View Post

    I see your son didn’t take after your position with Intelligence
    I mean really! Do you think he could even spell out “eloquence”?

    Your accomplishments are for you to trash and none to see
    Got overshadowed by 1 and 3, I’m sorry to say, Your Rotundity
    George W. Bush?

    I'm publishing Enden on Wattpad! Click the image to visit <3

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