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Thread: Ed, Edd n Eddy vs. Alvin and the Chipmunks

  1. #1

    Ed, Edd n Eddy vs. Alvin and the Chipmunks

    Epic Rap Battles of History!
    Ed…Edd…and Eddy
    Alvin…Simon…and Theodore!

    The kings of the cul-de-sac, ready to play,
    Time to stomp out these rodents and collect our pay,
    You’ll catch a boot to the head by the Eds, you see,
    ‘Cause we’re real jaw-breakers! Take ‘em Double D!
    (Oh!) Well I’m the brains of this same-named trio,
    Been solving equations since Simon was an embryo,
    Your chances of victory are a million to one,
    In fact, Dave will be revoking your contract when we’re done!
    (Huh-huh!) I’m Ed and I like chickens,
    In this battle of rhymes, you’ll get a deep-fried finger lickin’,
    Cute little animals are what I love the most,
    But you’ll still get burned like buttered toast!
    You’ll get scammed, you’ll get slammed, you’ll get picked apart,
    Because together, our rhymes are a work of art,
    In teamwork, we have no equal!
    So you best surrender now, or you won’t live to see the squeakquel!

    (Ooooooohhhhhhh!) You have no idea what you just walked into!
    (Doooooo-waaaaaa!) These rodents are gonna rip you in two!
    Think you can out-rap us? Come on!
    We got some nuts here that you can gnaw on!
    Your raps are as laughable as your hare-brained schemes,
    And now it’s time to bring you apart at the seams!
    Ugh! I’m Theodore and I abhor the Eds,
    Going after this unibrowed dunderhead,
    I’ll drown you in your tub of gravy when I knock you out, mister,
    Just like you get smacked around by your little sister! (Ooh!)
    And as for you, you sock-headed weenie,
    Take your insecurity and hide THAT under your beanie,
    You’re a spineless weakling who talks too wordy,
    Too bad you’re germophobic, ‘cause Simon’s getting dirty!
    And now for the vertically-challenged narcissist,
    I got a whole list of material for you to get dissed,
    All your plans fail, nobody likes you,
    I’m just like your big brother, ready to strike you!
    And your disregard for other people makes me wanna Rolf,
    Your misadventures are as exciting as watching golf,
    Scream my name (AAALVIIIN!), so you know who just served you,
    And admit to Double D that there’s some romance with you two!

    This coming from the kid who wants a hula hoop for Christmas,
    Maybe you should add your own jealousy to your diss list,
    It ain’t my fault that I’m so charming!
    Really, Eddy, your level of self-admiration is alarming!
    SHUT UP, SOCKHEAD! Do you have any Chunky Puffs?
    That’s my horse! Oh, dear! Oh, wise guy!
    You have gone too far, mister!

    What a bunch of planks! They just can’t get along!
    Meanwhile our brotherly bond holds strong!
    We face it all together in har-mo-ny,
    And we went platinum! You’re lucky to even make a penny!
    Our career makes us real hard bankers!
    Now we got you by your sickly-colored tongues; Kankers!
    You’re such pansies, we should have sent in the Chipettes!
    Better call the witch doctor, ‘cause you just got chip-rekt!

    Who won?
    Who’s next?
    You decide!

    Rap Battles of History!
    Last edited by Mashit; 06-26-2018 at 12:08 PM.

  2. #2
    Brad's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Ed Edd and Eddy won, though I'm biased

    Woah Mama:


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  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Brad View Post
    Ed Edd and Eddy won, though I'm biased
    I love that show too, though I found it difficult to find much material against the Chipmunks that doesn't go doubly so for the Eds...Still had fun writing this though!

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