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Thread: Bill Clinton vs. Richard Nixon

  1. #1

    Bill Clinton vs. Richard Nixon

    Hello all! Wrote a battle between our two shadiest presidents of recent history; Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton. Let me know what should be improved. Attached are lyrics+references guide.


    see below for revised version...
    Last edited by wheresmything; 01-05-2019 at 12:51 PM.

  2. #2
    BKTurner47's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    For one of your first battles, this is actually pretty damn decent. A lot better than anything I could put together, I'll say that. I personally thought that Nixon took that battle like DNC documents at the Watergate Building.

  3. #3
    Brad's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Nixon always wins baby


    Spoiler: 

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    when you make a post and brad instantly buries it and you decide that maybe suicide is the answer
    Quote Originally Posted by Sane
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    fking brad with his white writing on a white background
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    Brad I swear to god I'll Fortnite dance on your grave
    Quote Originally Posted by Adonis
    brad can i hit ur juul please bro just one hit
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    “Bumblin’” Brad sent in a paper claiming to have “interviewed” me! Wrong! I have done no such thing, and Liddle Bradley had to sit in his room by himself and make up quotes in order to get his work “published”. Despite the negative forum covfefe, the Fake News Media controlled by Globalist Sam Bama is whipping itself into a frenzy trying to make up lies about your favorite forumer (Me!)

  4. #4
    Clemi's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Yo this is pretty good

  5. #5
    Went in and fixed some things:

    Clinton vs. Nixon REVISED



    NIXON:


    I am not a crook, bet you can’t take a diss
    At the end of this battle I’m gonna add you to my list
    I’ll turn you into authorities like Monica’s dress
    Call up Ken Starr, put BC to rest
    Let’s talk about the White House, they’ve got me on tape
    But if they had taped you, you’d be convicted of rape!
    I’m a California firebrand with a Southern Strategy
    I’ll serve you with some fresh and sweet Im-peach-mint tea


    CLINTON:


    Hey Richard, why don’t you just resign?
    I’m gonna bust your lies open like the New York Times
    What good did you do? Ordered a coup?
    Started wars in Chile and the Middle East too?
    Won with a Southern Strategy that fed on hate
    Failed like the locks that you picked at the Watergate!
    And your Ford screwed Michigan worse than Henry did!
    Who besides the Chevy Chase version everyone forgets!
    It’ll be a Saturday Night Massacre where you’re Archibald Cox
    You and your Vietnam soldiers can go back to Little Rock


    NIXON:

    The Vietnam draft shaped the baby boom!
    Except for you, staying behind in hotel rooms
    With Juanita and Paula and all of your victims
    When they sent you to Feds, it should’ve been to prison!


    CLINTON:


    I did not abuse any of those fine women
    But you abused the Constitution at your own volition!
    Between burglary, obstruction, campaign finance violations
    Your character’s as shady as the Komen Foundation!


    NIXON:


    Shady charities? You’re one to talk!
    Isn’t your foundation funded with money from Iraq?
    I’ve been looking up your shady dealings
    Starting to seem quite revealing
    Suicide of Vince Foster
    Someone’s been doing some concealing!


    CLINTON:

    So now you’re buying into conspiracy theories?
    Don’t Alex Jones-me out of this YouTube series!
    I feel your desperate pain, but you’re too sketchy for me
    Ask Spiro Agnew, you couldn’t even keep your VP


    NIXON:


    When I was in charge, we sent a man to the moon
    You failed with health care, surrounded by goons
    And I will resign, don’t need more time

    Gore won’t be around to pardon you from your third strike




    Clinton vs. Nixon


    NIXON:


    I am not a crook, but you can’t take a diss
    Nixon famously claimed he was “not a crook”
    At the end of this battle I’m gonna add you to my list
    Nixon reportedly kept an “enemies list” of everyone who was seen as a threat
    I’ll turn you into the authorities like Monica’s dress
    Monica Lewinsky famously had to turn over a dress of hers with Clinton’s DNA on it to prosecutors
    Call up Ken Starr, put BC to rest
    Ken Starr was the independent counsel appointed to investigate the Whitewater and Lewinsky scandals
    Let’s talk about the White House
    They’ve got me on tape
    Nixon taped everything during his presidency, which helped bring down his presidency when his cover up for Watergate was revealed
    But if they had taped you
    You’d be convicted of rape
    Bill Clinton has been accused by many women of sexual assault and rape
    I’m a California firebrand with a Southern Strategy
    Nixon served as a US Senator from California. He was elected in part due to the “Southern Strategy” where his campaign appealed to Southern white voters who disapproved of the civil rights legislation of the 1960s
    I’ll serve you with some fresh and sweet Im-peach-mint tea
    Clinton was a Southerner (from Arkansas). Sweet peach tea is associated with the south. Bill Clinton was the second president to ever be impeached. “Im-Peach-Mint Tea.”


    CLINTON:


    Hey Richard,
    Why don’t you just resign?
    Nixon was the only president to ever resign the position
    I’m gonna bust your lies open like the New York Times
    The Washington Post and the New York Times were instrumental in taking down the Nixon presidency through investigative reporting
    What good did you do? Ordered a coup?
    Nixon via the CIA ordered a military coup in Chile in 1973
    Started wars in Chile and the Middle East too?
    Nixon started wars in the Middle East and Chile during his presidency
    Won with a Southern Strategy that fed on hate
    Nixon’s Southern Strategy was crafted on appealing to White Segregationist Southerners
    Failed like the locks that you picked at the Watergate!
    While Nixon was successfully elected on this strategy, he was forced to resign after it was revealed that he ordered a break in of the DNC at the Watergate hotel. Clinton here is claiming that both failed.
    And your Ford screwed Michigan worse than Henry did!
    Gerald Ford, Nixon’s successor and second VP is from Michigan. Michigan experienced economic hardship as a result of a downfall in the auto industry spurred by people like Henry Ford. Clinton claims that Gerald was the worst Ford for Michigan.
    Who but for the Chevy Chase version everyone forgets!
    Ford’s presidency was extremely short and largely uneventful, but he was memorably portrayed as clumsy and stupid by Chevy Chase on Saturday Night Live.
    It’ll be a Saturday Night Massacre where you’re Archibald Cox
    In 1973 as the Watergate investigation closed in on him, Nixon fired special counsel Archibald Cox as well as many senior Justice Department figures. This was referred to as the Saturday Night massacre. Clinton is implying Nixon will get “fired,” like he did to Cox.
    You and your Vietnam soldiers can go back to Little Rock
    Nixon escalated the war in Vietnam. Clinton here says they should go back to Little Rock, Clinton’s hometown


    NIXON:

    The Vietnam draft shaped the baby boom!
    Clinton’s generation, the Baby Boomers, were largely influenced by the Vietnam Draft
    Except for you, staying behind in hotel rooms
    Clinton got a deferment from the Vietnam draft
    With Juanita and Paula and all of your victims
    Juanita Broaddrick and Paula Jones are both women who have accused Clinton of raping them. In Broaddrick’s case, she accused him of doing so in a Little Rock hotel room.
    When they sent you to Feds, it should’ve been to prison!
    At the time of these alleged rapes, Clinton was Attorney General of Arkansas, a state position. The presidency is a federal office, and the federal government runs prisons. Nixon says Clinton should’ve been sent to federal prison instead of federal office.


    CLINTON:


    I did not abuse any of those fine women
    After his infamous affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky, Clinton famously stated that he did not have sexual relations with her. Here, he applies that quote to the women that he allegedly raped.
    But you abused the Constitution at your own volition!
    Nixon abused the Constitution at his own will
    Between burglary, obstruction, campaign finance violations
    These are crimes Nixon allegedly committed
    Your character’s as shady as the Komen Foundation!
    The Susan J. Komen Foundation has been widely criticized for misusing funds and not actually helping breast cancer research. Clinton here compare’s Nixon to the foundation, saying he’s a shady figure.


    NIXON:


    Shady charities? You’re one to talk!
    Isn’t your foundation funded with money from Iraq?
    The Clinton Foundation has been subject to many conspiracy theories, including those about funding from dictators and secret societies.
    I’ve been looking up your shady dealings
    Starting to seem quite revealing
    Suicide of Vince Foster
    Someone’s been doing some concealing!
    Another common Clinton conspiracy theory concerns the suicide of Vince Foster, former Deputy White House Counsel. During the Whitewater investigation, Vince Foster shot himself in Virginia. Many claim that it was actually a murder by the Clintons to prevent him from being a witness.


    CLINTON:

    So now you’re buying into conspiracy theories?
    Clinton accuses Nixon of buying into false conspiracy theories
    Don’t Alex Jones-me out of this Youtube series!
    Alex Jones, a prominent conspiracy theorist was removed from YouTube in 2018 for violating the site’s terms. ERB is a YouTube series and Clinton is telling Nixon that if he keeps telling these theories they will get kicked off the website.
    I feel your desperate pain, but you’re too sketchy for me
    Clinton famously used the line “I feel your pain” in a 1992 debate. Here, he implies that he feels Nixon’s pain from losing. However, he does not sympathize with Nixon as he is too sketchy of a character.
    Ask Spiro Agnew, you couldn’t even keep your VP
    Spiro Agnew, Nixon’s original VP resigned over scandal just like Nixon.


    NIXON:


    When I was in charge, we sent a man to the moon
    Nixon oversaw all of the Apollo missions to the moon
    You failed with health care, surrounded by goons
    Clinton famously failed with his universal healthcare bill in 1993, which led to the “Republican Revolution” in the 1994 midterm elections.
    And I will resign, don’t need more time

    Gore won’t be around to pardon you from your third strike
    When Nixon resigned, Vice President Gerald Ford became President. While in office, Ford pardoned Nixon of any and all crimes he committed while in office. Nixon here states that Clinton won’t get this luxury, as his Vice President, Al Gore lost election to the presidency in 2000.
    Last edited by wheresmything; 01-05-2019 at 01:03 AM.

  6. #6
    Katz's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    This battle is awesome! I think Clinton definitely won post-revision, looking forward to more battles.
    Hey, I'm Katz, and I'm a former Global Moderator! Always here to talk! If you haven't already, register an account!


    In my island of dreams, you are with me it seems

  7. #7
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    This battle is really good on the references but if I can provide some constructive criticism it would be better to have the references double up as jokes, or work with a sic flow, or have some purpose other than just dropping them in there.
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

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