Epic Rap Battles of Fanstory

[BKTurner47]

Rap Battle 83: Daniel Tosh & Eric Cartman vs Rob Dyrdek & Lil Rob

EEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!! DANIEL TOSH & ERIC CARTMAN..... VERSUS..... ROB DYRDEK AND LIL ROB!!!!!! BEGIN!!!!!

Daniel Tosh
Welcome back to Tosh.0 where bitches like you Dyrdek get destroyed.
You've made millions off of acting nice, but you're just a douche, boy!
I make tons of people laugh! Your victory's ridiculousness! It's blasphemy.
Just ask Comedy Channel on how hard I rock people 'till they just cry.
Mmm hello my ass, Dyrdek! Your luck's physically fucked against the Tosh.
Kiss mine, Rob, since you cannot win against this furious lyrical comedy boss.
What's up with your style? You're an Eminem wannabe skater entrepreneur.
It's like you walked up to those suckers and said "I'm rich and mark my words."
You're not a hardworking smartass, you're a failing skateboarding prick.
I wonder if your shitty reality show even made a decent assed profit.
Your Wild Grinders show is basically saying your best friend's MacGyver.
As if he looked like Dexter wearing casual clothing! You two are both nerds.

Rob Dyrdek
I'm motherfucking Rob Dyrdek! All you are is a perverted angry assed dipshit.
The only reason why you have a shitty show is because it's the best of your budget.
Get a real audience! Get a life outside your little world of fake ass effects.
It's like you're just begging on your knees to be hated by me. The best.
You may be a prime time rocker, but after this battle, you'll be cancelled:
This whole place is mine! Viacom truly had the balls for my awesome show.
I'm the most rad-awesomest rapper in this universe as Stubford says.
I put the I in integrity and then shoved it up your ass on the Internet.
You're one fucked up little man, prepare to meet your terminator.
I'm better than Arnold Schwartzenegger for damns same, Rob-Hater.
I'll put you down in history and mark you down as a check left closed.
So this is the short reason of your troubles. It's because your ratings are low.

Eric Cartman
Let me take the mic!
Listen up here, Dyrdek! Why did you ever get on the Wild Grinders?
Your shit doesn't deserve to be on at 9PM, it should be off the world.
You may have the factory, but I'll knock it down. I'm the best. Not this clown.
I'll be turning all your shows plots into depressed dipshits out of town.

Lil Rob
Alrighty then!
You're more annoying than Stubford, and that's a damn accomplishment.
I'll be shoving a nail up this South Park prick! You can suck my skate dick:
Your show's made out of paper. PAPER! That was the pick out of all?
Looks like you've lost your fame in the nineties. Suck my Huckster-balls.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!!! (Let's roll!) EEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!

[BKTurner47]

Rap Battle 84: Fix-It-Felix vs Felix Baumgartner

EEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!! FIX IT FELIX.... VERSUS.... FELIX BAUMGARTNER!!!! BEGIN!!!!

Felix Baumgartner
I've fallen from massive heights! You stay within your gay ass video game world.
If you can travel between games, go travel to a job you Fix It Ripoff Wreck Girl.
With you carrying that hammer around thinking you're the god Thor.
You're a product of Disney, but still don't rap well or seriously hardcore.
You're a fool! You're a prick! You're an emo living in an 8-bit society.
I'll be raiding your arcade! Wait! I could just crush the fucking screen!
You can't beat a human, Fix-It-Not, you were all made up to promote Nintendo.
SO WHY DON'T YOU PACK YOUR BAGS AND RAP AGAINST THAT FATASS MARIO?

Fix-It-Felix
A douchey spaceman without a day job. I can't fix that you astro-prick!
I've been rocking the world for years, all you can do is horribly dis.
I get all the ladies! You became a meme, but only with some charisma.
But you're not gonna survive this battle! You're gonna lose, son!
By December, no one will know SHIT about the Baumgartner you'll ever be.
Call me the head of Hasbro now, since I'll be putting your space ass in monopoly!
I got the Mortal Kombat skills to take your fucking ass straight off the gravity.
You spend all your time in zeroes, because you're nothing but a sick BEEYOTCH!

Felix Baumgartner
Bitch & gravity don't rhyme! You can't even get skills from PaRappa!
Go into a portal hole and never come back or you'll get pulled down the crapper.
You could GameFly over renting, but your flight will end by the end of 2012.
I've been kicking motherfucking ass around the world before your balls fell!

Fix-It-Felix
THAT TEARS IT! You'll be wedged into your own doom like a bird to its prey!
It didn't take KnowYourMeme to know that your rapping skills are wildly gay!
You'll be old news sometime soon, while Fix-It-Felix will live on for eternity.
I'll be slendering your ass and I'll give you a Halo like a space marine! Hear me?

Felix Baumgartner
You just came up with video games that came up at the top of your head.
You should really fix that up for importance! I'm an astronaut! Hear me, men?

Fix-It-Felix
I was assigned to someone like you to dis, this battle will be torned into bite sizes.
Looks like you've signed out to your shitty raps! Now get out of my damn horizon!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!!!

EPIC - BOOM -

Fix It Felix
I can fix it!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!

[BKTurner47]

Rap Battle 85: Mario vs Fred Flinstone

Fred Flinstone
Hold on a sec Wilma, this asswipe needs to be taught a lesson
I'm Fred Fucking Flinstone, and you? Better than me? Out of the question.
Me and my pal Barney aren't like you, you're addicted to shrooms
Whenever my show comes on, a nostalgic feel enters the room
So keep your Koopa Troopas and your Goombas away from my house
Your game has nothing but fictional animals, even my stove can talk, as does my mouse
Only nerds play Mario, my adventures are way funnier
When you rap, things get dark, when I rap, things get sunnier!

Mario
It’s-a me Mario, and this Flintstone’s just a lazy ass man!
I defeated dragons and counts, all you’ve defeated were fans.
You remind me of the Simpsons, but they came after you.
I got so many power-ups. Your win’s in another castle. You’re through!
I’m the mascot of games. I’m the mascot of motherfucking Nintendo!
The Flintstones is out of the water! It got cancelled decades ago.
Getting revamped by Seth MacFarlene? He must’ve really fucked up.
Come on there Fred, you share the same name with that high pitched suck-up!

Fred Flinstone
You may call me a caveman, yet you live in a fantasy land
At least I was based partially on the real world, and I now demand
That you get out of here, before I beat you with my own two hands
My victory is guaranteed to be quite grand!

Mario
You're messing with the most successful video game character of the ages!
You're stone age shit's nothing against me! You can't even rhyme.
I went thin as paper once and still managed to get more fans.
Your only fame's nowadays off of stop motion that sucks ASS!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

Timmy Turner/Me as Mario
Uprising as Fred Flinstone

[BKTurner47]

What should I do next?

Dib Membrane vs Slenderman
Cam Clarke vs Corey Burton ft. Jeff Bennett
Trixie Tang vs Bill Gates 4
Flippy vs Notch REMATCH!
John A. Davis vs Johnny Test
Primus vs Chuck Norris

[B.S.B]

Anything but the same battle 4 times >.<

[Uprising]

Fred Flinstone won XD

[BKTurner47]

NEXT TIME ON ERB...

"I beat Abe Lincoln, and I'm certain to beat your cybertronian ass too!
Your brothers your enemy! You're not God! You're just a fake ass wannabe. You're screwed!"

VERSUS....

"You think you're so badass, wait until this battle, they'll think I'm the real god!
Justin Bieber has more balls than you do! I'd rather face my brother Unicron."

[BKTurner47]

No guessing? Oh well.

Rap Battle 86: Primus vs Chuck Norris

EEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!! PRIMUS...... VERSUS.... CHUCK.... NORRIS!!!!! BEGIN!!!!

Chuck Norris
I am Chuck fucking Norris! I beat this cybertronian before the battle started.
Bedbugs say don't let Chuck Norris bite! I'm gonna be the one to start this.
You have no balls! You have no cock! No wonder why you have no affiliation.
I won the Poker World Series with Yu-Gi-Oh card, you're just animation.
Until all are one? You want hive minds to be running amok in the universe?
Let a fucking man teach you how to rap! Your raps are non-existent you nerd.
My Sentinel Maximus is quite the Apelinq which you're already jealous of.
One of the coolest toys around? That Boys Life magazine really fucked up!
My raps are Alpha Trion! Even he'd admit I'm the one with the right victory.
Watch out mofo, this shit is doomed to be named Chuck Norris' industry.
I'm not the one who makes fun of girls brands, I'm the one who beats Cybertronian asses.
I'll fuck this cybetronian landline up so fucking fast, I'll affect his brain & give him glasses.
I'm a real Hot Shot, your allspark shit's not gonna be stopping me now, you prick!
All of those Autobots can do one thing, they can suck this Chuck Norris dick!

Primus
My raps are gonna be going Sky High! You say you're tough, but Bruce Lee beat you.
You got facts that are a meme on the internet? You know whose better? A screw!
You think you're so badass, wait until this battle, they'll think I'm the real god!
Justin Bieber has more balls than you do! I'd rather face my brother Unicron.
You made a Happy Meal cry? I'll make you cry after my big ass winning.
You're not a badass! You're a prick that believes that he's a walker Texas shit.
I'll strike you harder than a hurricane, make you go back to your home in hell.
I'm more alive than GLaDOS! You died years ago, but death's too afraid to tell.
Abe Lincoln kicked your ass! Now that's why he got another verse in Obama vs Romney.
You voted for John McCain, but once you see the rapping poll, you'll vote for ME!
I'm so fucking cool, I leave old ass cowboys on the floor down to sadness & shame.
Say that my rapping skills gay? You're the one with the bad skills? They're really gay!
You're gonna be going down, son, it's common knowledge, also, your balls never fell.
You know who has more swag than this old man? That douchey Scribblenauter Maxwell!

Chuck Norris
I AM CHUCK MOTHERFUCKING NORRIS! IM NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH!
My skills are tolerable, your skills are slag! Shit! You're nothing but a bitch!
I beat Abe Lincoln, and I'm certain to beat your cybertronian ass too!
Your brothers your enemy! You're not God! You're just a fake ass wannabe. You're screwed!

Primus
Lincoln's a vampire hunter, you're nothing, Carlos, you're not as invincible as everyone says.
You're not rich in rapping, son, you're through! You're the one screwed! That's true more or less.
You may've been cool in the 80's, but look at you now! You're an old ass man without a life.
You beat Portal and got the cake? Too bad GLaDOS hates you because it's nothing but a lie!

WHO WON? WHOS NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!!!!

[BKTurner47]

Rap Battle 87: Alfred E Neuman vs Chuck Testa

Alfred E Neuman is being sent to prison. Then, he realizes that he had a magazine in his pocket. He threw the magazine at the officers face. Lucky for him, the officer read it. Alfred ran away. He bumps into the successful in trial, Timmy Turner.

Alfred E Neuman
What do you want this time Timmy?

?????
Nope. Chuck Testa.

Alfred E Neuman
Oh sweet mother of…

EEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!! ALFRED E NEUMAN… VERSUS….. CHUCK…. TESTA!!!!!! BEGIN!!!!!

Alfred E Neuman
All you say that it was you. That must be a trick or some shit.
When it comes to my mind, it wonders if this 50's man has a life to live.
Wait a fucking second, YOU DONT HAVE ONE! Screw your PHD.
I'm a humor legend everywhere in the world while you're too hyped in taxidermy.
New poll's up. Was your lines the work of silence or was it a short scream?
Even Rhett and Link knew you were never meant to be on the silver screen.
I'll rap your ass down so hard, you'll be stuck with a "I got pwned" seizure.
Last time that I checked, you don't have a fucking life for gods sake either!
Spy vs Spy, everyone! I'll spy over your deer hunting ass, use you as a game.
I got my own show on Cartoon Network, your meme was started by the Wright Brothers! GAY!
You're nothing against the Neuman legacy! I got piles of money! You should check your luck.
You're not gonna be winning against me! Even your valley face is as ugly as a motherfuck.

Chuck Testa
Time for me to be putting this Alfred bitch back into his place! Roaming in the underworld.
The only fans of your shit are your editors, nostalgiatards, YOLO SWAG bitches & nerds.
Carpe diem, since I'll be doing you good, my raps will object you like Phoenix Wright.
Better watch out there son, since I have a master degree in flaming up a good fight.
Call me Batman, since I'll be sending your ass down to the floor like Adam West.
You can't beat me! I'll put you to the Testa and then send your pop culture ass to rest.
I'll kick your Planet Tad ass straight out of this place and make you live with Bowser.
Call this Mario son, since I'll be bringing you down & put your shitty ass on a browser.
The white & black spies can't save the day for you now! This is the Neuman's end.
We should change your name to Oldman because that's what you are! You have no descend.
In the words of Dr Rip Studwell, I'm better than you, you olympian bitch! This'll be easy.
You'll be down on the floor, you're the side wonder! We can start calling you Luigi.

Alfred E Neuman
Is that all you got motherfucker? That's not impressive for some over-loader like you.
I can see yourself in a few years. Dead to the floor and also, he'll be fucking through.
You got fame from Rhett and Link! Without them, no one would know what you were.
Ask your fans if you had a job. Your taxidermy days are limited. Now who's stern?

Chuck Testa
Who's stern? You look stoned! You're gonna be finding your fat Neuman ass pwned.
My rapping skills are number one. Your skills are horrible, the lowest of the low.
You fucking dipshit! You're a waste of mankind. You should've been spend on clothes.
Everyone knows your parodies. In a few years, no one would even know about your show.

WHO WON? WHOS NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!!

[BKTurner47]

I decided Johnny Test wasn't rap battle worthy. So without further due:

Rap Battle 88: John A Davis vs TvTropes

TVTropes
I'll be striking fear into this dipshit so hard, you'll be in a hearse
I'm the Wild Mass Guessing Hero! After this, you'll be burned.
Burned as in heat to the mass! Not like the old Textediting Man
Jimmy Neutron to Planet Sheen? What were you thinkin' damn
Here's some news for you, what thinks you could seriously win?
The only thing you could ever win is the surplus of getting shit.
I'll be throwing in some serious shit up the plank and killing you.
John A Davis my ass! Your luck against the TvTropes is screwed

John A Davis
This isn't even a challenge. I'll be coming in for TvTropes defeat.
Looks like I've already won! You can go take a recitals ass seat.
TvTropes? What the fuck? You know that my skills are better.
Every time you sit on the training seat, I get all into the metal.
I'll dislike your ass only into the power of the deadly alignment.
Prepare to be stopped by Jimmy Neutron! Get that damnin' shit
TvTropes my ass! You'll never be famous! Only a crazy ass bitch
Now before you go any farther, can you crawl into a gay ditch

TvTropes
Objection with your raps as if I was that bitchy lawyer Wright
Looks like this trope maker is really gonna be causin' a rap fight
We're only talking slow only to prevent your shit from winning
Looks like my victory's coming in for you defeat, like a boss shit.

John A Davis
From Back at the Barnyard, to Sheen Estavez and some more.
Looks like this TV addicted bitchy dipshit nitwit's a gay whore.
I'm the most succesful in the league! You went death with emo.
Winning against ME? Well, that answer is when you get a NO!

WHO WON? WHOS NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!!!

Lloyd Ahlquist as TvTropes
NicePeter as John A Davis