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Thread: Badass Rap Battles

  1. #161
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Teddy Roosevelt vs. Freddy Fazbear
    BEGIN!

    Freddy Fazbear: KNOCK YOUR LIGHTS OUT LIKE THE DEATH OF YOUR WHOLE FAMILY
    SON, YOU’RE IN FOR A ROUGH RIDE IF YOU JUAN TIAGO WITH ME
    THEY NAMED THE TEDDY AFTER YOU CAUSE YOU’RE SOFT AND FULL OF FLUFF
    BUT NO ONE WOULD EVEN KNOW THE NAME IF YOU HADN’T HORSEBACKED MCKINLEY’S NUTS
    I’M SO NATURAL ON THIS MIC, IT’S FUCKING STUCK INSIDE MY GRIP
    YOU LOVE FORESTRY SO MUCH, YOU LET A BUSH GROW ON YOUR LIP
    WAKE YOU UP PANTING AND CRYING LIKE YOUR CHILDHOOD ASTHMA ATTACKS
    CARRYING AROUND THAT BIG STICK IS JUST A COMPENSATION ACT

    Teddy Roosevelt: Are you finished? Whew, no one on Earth has more cause to be thankful
    I should just refer to that mess of bars as The Mangle
    Trust me, I’ve got a knack for busting ghosts and corporate hacks
    So prepare to pay, Poohbear’s Pizza, call this the Piss-Poor-Franchise Tax!
    Phone Guy called, said 1987 wants back their scare tactics
    Flow like the Panama Canal, delivering you the goods AND service
    I wish that I could press the mute button on your real life fans
    You think you’re tough? I got shot a few lines ago and didn’t give a dam!
    Steam-sale with me? Best scream for your furry friends to help steer the wheel
    ‘Cause The Lion against this wannabe mouse just isn’t a Square Deal

    Foxy: NATURALIST? THERE’S NOTHING NATURAL ABOUT YOUR FAMILY TREE
    AND THEY CALL US ANIMATRONICS DYSFUNCTIONAL AND SCREWY

    Bonnie: YOU’RE NATURE’S ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND, YOUR DOMESTIC POLICY IS ABUSE
    THIS ELEPHANT SEEMS TO FORGET THAT ANIMALS ARE PART OF NATURE TOO

    Chica: YOU’RE AN NRA PUPPET, YOUR FOREIGN POLICY SHOULD BE RATED M
    Freddy: CHOKE YOU IN MY SUIT TILL YOU’RE STILLER THAN ROCK, LIKE ROBIN WILLIAMS

    Teddy Roosevelt: Any more uninspired, broken products to look forward to?
    Oh, sorry guys, just talking to Scott, now back to you
    *to Bonnie* I’ve already got a rabbit’s foot, but I’ll de-feet you anyway
    In a year, your game’ll be like that guitar; never played
    *to Chica* At least Tweety here knows how to make kids wet their pants at night
    Let’s Eat? No thanks, your Tumblr pics have spoiled my appetite.
    I inspired the Teddy bear, but you’re the one kids want to sleep with
    *Foxy jumpscares TR* Ah, forgot about you, though I’m not the first to say it
    Open your Springtrap about my family, and I’ll give it a Kickstart
    Your Purple Guy doesn’t scare me, my son has a Purple Heart
    *To All* You can’t kill me, save your energy, next time come later at night
    You’ll have to take in my sleep if you’re not gonna put up a fight




    Reference Guide:
    Spoiler: 
    KNOCK YOUR LIGHTS OUT LIKE THE DEATH OF YOUR WHOLE FAMILY
    -I wanted to have Freddy open up really abruptly and brutally with a really personal dis. I wanted to create a character contrast between the "speak softly and carry a big stick" Teddy and the very bombastic, less subtle, jump-scare-y Freddy Fazbear.
    -Reference to how the lights go out when you lose power in a FNAF game.
    -Teddy Roosevelt's wife and mother died on the same day. This was what he wrote in his diary the day they died. : (

    SON, YOU’RE IN FOR A ROUGH RIDE IF YOU JUAN TIAGO WITH ME
    -Teddy Roosevelt became a national hero when he led his gang of "Rough Riders" to victory in the Spanish-American War, notably in the Battles of San Juan Hill and Santiago.
    THEY NAMED THE TEDDY AFTER YOU CAUSE YOU’RE SOFT AND FULL OF FLUFF
    -The teddy bear was named after Teddy Roosevelt after he refused to kill a bear he caught in a bear trap, a display of softness in what what otherwise seen as the American image of masculinity and toughness.
    -Teddy bears are soft and full of fluff
    -Roosevelt also hated being called Teddy so Freddy's really grinding his gears here

    BUT NO ONE WOULD EVEN KNOW THE NAME IF YOU HADN’T HORSEBACKED MCKINLEY’S NUTS
    -Going off of the last line about the iconic Teddy nickname
    -One of Roosevelt's nicknames was "The Man on Horseback"
    -Roosevelt became president because President McKinley got assassinated. If McKinley had not picked him as VP, he would have never become president and would probably be much less remembered today.

    I’M SO NATURAL ON THIS MIC, IT’S FUCKING STUCK INSIDE MY GRIP
    -References TR's love of nature
    -Freddy Fazbear usually has a mic wired into his hand

    YOU LOVE FORESTRY SO MUCH, YOU LET A BUSH GROW ON YOUR LIP
    -TR's iconic mustache
    WAKE YOU UP PANTING AND CRYING LIKE YOUR CHILDHOOD ASTHMA ATTACKS
    -TR had very bad asthma attacks as a child.
    -Panting is an element of FNAF 3.
    -FNAF has a theme of nightmares and dead children

    CARRYING AROUND THAT BIG STICK IS JUST A COMPENSATION ACT
    -References TR's famous "Speak softly and carry a big stick" quote. Also is commonly used to describe his interventionist foreign policy.
    -Part of TR's "Square Deal" was the Federal Workers Compensation Act.
    -"Compensating", for the 2 of you that don't know, is a term people use to describe someone who owns big things to make up for the fact that they have a tiny penis.
    -The double meaning, aside from that a "big stick" is slang for penis, is that TR's interventionist, interfering foreign policy is a sort of Napoleonic Complex for having a tiny penis.


    Are you finished? Whew, no one on Earth has more cause to be thankful
    -Thought it'd be cool to have TR reference the first line of his Inaugural Address in his first line of the battle. "MY fellow-citizens, no people on earth have more cause to be thankful than ours."
    -Basically saying that verse sucked and he's thankful it's over.

    I should just refer to that mess of bars as The Mangle
    "Now, he's just a mess of parts. I think the employees refer to him as just... 'The Mangle.'"-Phone Guy from FNAF2
    -The Mangle in FNAF is made up of metal bars

    Trust me, I’ve got a knack for busting ghosts and corporate hacks
    -Teddy Roosevelt got the nickname "Trustbuster" due to his antitrust legislation to prevent corporations from growing too powerful.
    -Ghostbusters
    -The FNAF characters are supposedly controlled by the ghosts of dead children.
    -FNAF is basically centered around a greedy corporation, which TR was known for being hard on.

    So prepare to pay, Poohbear’s Pizza, call this the Piss-Poor-Franchise Tax!
    -Lots of "p" alliteration.
    -Winnie the Pooh reference since Freddy is a bear
    -Freddy Fazbear's Pizza is the name of the corporation Freddy is from.
    -TR passed the Ford Franchise Act through Congress, which rhymes with poor.
    -Piss and Pooh
    -They're "paying" a tax
    -FNAF is a franchise

    Phone Guy called, said 1987 wants back their scare tactics
    -Reference to that common "Hello? It's for you, _________ wants their __________ back" joke.
    -Phone Guy's phone calls are a big part of the FNAF games.
    -Reference to the Bite of 87 from FNAF
    -FNAF has been criticized for using too many jumpscares, which have been popular in the horror genre for a while now.

    Flow like the Panama Canal, delivering you the goods AND service
    -Teddy Roosevelt oversaw the building of the Panama Canal.
    -Flow, like water, like a canal
    -Canals are intended to transport goods and services.

    I wish that I could press the mute button on your real life fans
    -There's a noisy deskfan in several of the FNAF games.
    -FNAF fans are stereotypically really annoying.

    You think you’re tough? I got shot a few lines ago and didn’t give a dam!
    -Reference to a time when Roosevelt got shot in the middle of a speech, opened up his coat, showed the audience his bullet wound, and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot, but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose," and then continued to speak for another 90 minutes. I thought it'd be badass if TR got shot in the middle of his verse and just kept rapping as if nothing happened and didn't even reveal it until a few lines later.
    -Also a reference to the Theodore Roosevelt Dam

    Steam-sale with me? Best scream for your furry friends to help steer the wheel
    -TR has experience in sailing.
    -FNAF can be bought on Steam.
    -Reference to Steam sales.
    -All of the FNAF character are programmed with children's screams whenever they kill you in game.

    ‘Cause The Lion against this wannabe mouse just isn’t a Square Deal
    -Reference to the famous "Lion and the Mouse" Aesop fable, where a mouse strikes a deal with a lion to keep him from eating him, and then the mouse comes back later to save him from a trap by chewing through the wire.
    -TR's a hunter so the story makes sense
    -Another TR nickname was "The Lion". When he died, his son telegraphed the rest of the family "The old lion is dead."
    -Freddy is heavily inspired by Chuck E Cheese, a mouse.
    -TR's Square Deal legislation
    -A "Square Deal" is used nowadays to mean "a fair deal'. Basically TR's saying he's so out of Freddy's league (which is why ERB's probably never doing this) that it's not fair for Freddy, so he needs his furry friends to make the fight more even.


    NATURALIST? THERE’S NOTHING NATURAL ABOUT YOUR FAMILY TREE
    -TR was a naturalist.
    -TR had a very screwy family. His cousins FDR and Eleanor got married and became president, he had a weird relationship with his father, he had a weird relationship with his son, trust me.

    AND THEY CALL US ANIMATRONICS DYSFUNCTIONAL AND SCREWY
    -Animatronics like Freddy, Bonnie, Chica and Foxy are known for being disfunctional and having lots of screws in them.
    -FDR and Eleanor fucked

    Bonnie: YOU’RE NATURE’S ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND F: YOUR DOMESTIC POLICY IS ABUSE
    -A dig at how Teddy is supposed to be this nature-loving guy and yet he hunted a lot and killed a lot of animals.
    -Domestic policy refers to a president's policy regarding his own country (as opposed to foreign policy).
    -Domestic abuse is when someone in a relationship is violent to the other, kinda like TR and nature.

    THIS ELEPHANT SEEMS TO FORGET THAT ANIMALS ARE PART OF NATURE TOO
    -TR was a Republican, whose symbol is the elephant.
    -"An elephant never forgets"
    -Again, TR supposedly loved nature but hunted and killed lots of animals.
    -I was saddened to find out that among the animals he hunted were elephants, and most people agree elephant hunting is a shitty thing to do

    Chica: YOU’RE AN NRA PUPPET, YOUR FOREIGN POLICY SHOULD BE RATED M
    -Reference to the Puppet from the FNAF series.
    -TR had a lifelong National Rifle Association membership. The NRA is known for paying off politicians to prevent them from voting to pass gun restrictive legislation.
    -TR had kind of a violent interventionist foreign policy.
    -FNAF is a horror video game. It doesn't have an ESRB rating, but there's a good chance it'd be M if it did.

    Freddy: CHOKE YOU IN MY SUIT TILL YOU’RE STILLER THAN ROCK, LIKE ROBIN WILLIAMS
    -Freddy Fazbear's whole thing is stuffing people inside a Fazbear suit until they choke to death, which is why I gave Freddy this last line.
    -Reference to TR's rock face on Mount Rushmore.
    -Robin Williams played TR in the Night at the Museum franchise, starring Ben STILLER.
    -Robin Williams died via asphyxiation.


    TR: Any more uninspired, broken products to look forward to?
    -You think he's talking about the "uninspired, broken" animatronics....
    Oh, sorry guys, just talking to Scott, now back to you
    -BUT he's actually talking about the FNAF franchise. Scott Cawthon is the one who made the franchise, and he's known for releasing games pretty quickly. He had to apologize for releasing FNAF World before it was completely finished.
    I’ve already got a rabbit’s foot, but I’ll de-feet you anyway
    -TR hunted with a lucky rabbit's foot.
    -Bonnie is a rabbit.
    -De-feet = to remove someone's foot

    In a year, your game’ll be like that guitar; never played
    -Bonnie has a guitar that he never actually seems to play at any point.
    -FNAF is seen by many as a flash-in-the-pan game.

    At least Tweety here knows how to make kids wet their pants at night
    -Chica looks like Tweety from Looney Tunes.
    -Chica has been sexualized a looooooot by the FNAF fanbase.
    -These animatronics are supposed to be scary, thus making kids pee themselves with fright at night, but TR's saying Chica does it by giving them wet dreams.

    Let’s Eat? No thanks, your Tumblr pics have spoiled my appetite.
    -Reference to Chica's "Let's Eat" bib.
    -yeah don't look too deep on tumblr at chica pics

    I inspired the Teddy bear, but you’re the one kids want to sleep with
    -Kids sleep with Teddy bears
    -as i've established chica rule 34 is pretty common
    -Notice how TR spends more time working on Chica than Bonnie. This is because Chica (at least in the first game) is known for sticking around longer than Bonnie at the doors and requirign more attention.

    *Foxy jumpscares TR* Ah, forgot about you, though I’m not the first to say it
    -Foxy is supposed to be easy to forget about to make him harder to combat in the games, but TR is saying he's just a forgettable boring character.
    -The way Foxy enters here is a reference to how if you ignore Foxy, he kills you. He hasn't been dissing Foxy, so here Foxy comes.

    Open your Springtrap about my family, and I’ll give it a Kickstart
    -Foxy has a broken jaw.
    -Springtrap is a character from the FNAF family.
    -Remember Foxy was the one who called TR's family dysfunctional and screwy.
    -FNAF required a Kickstarter at one point.

    Your Purple Guy doesn’t scare me, my son has a Purple Heart
    -Purple Guy is the child killer whose victims supposedly inhabit the animatronics.
    -TR's son received a Purple Heart for his army service and bravery.
    -Retorting Foxy's remarks about TR's family.
    -TR kinda pushed his son into the military so it makes sense he'd be proud of this

    You can’t kill me, save your energy, next time come later at night
    -"Save your energy" is a reference to the importance of saving energy/light in all the FNAF games.
    -"You can't" is a quote associated with Purple Guy's murderous rampage in the FNAF games, going off the last line.

    You’ll have to take in my sleep if you’re not gonna put up a fight
    -These last two lines are a reference to a famous quote by Vice President Thomas Marshall after TR's death; "Death had to take Roosevelt sleeping, for if he had been awake, there would have been a fight."
    -Basically he's saying that he just kicked their asses, and that they need to try while he's sleeping if they want to stand a chance against him.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  2. #162
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Great job Samy
    I almost forgot you sucked
    really tho very impressive :D

  3. #163
    Turtlesauce's Avatar 2016 Writer of the Year
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    Holy fuck Teddy just went man-mode on them all. What a stomp

    Great battle, Sam
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    I will delete this forum.

  4. #164
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Oh man some of my old battles are cringey aaaaaaa

    My newer ones are decent though

    Anyway I might want to write a new one of these once winter break rolls around and I have a shit ton of free time so feel free to suggest shit I'm pretty open-minded to doing anything

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  5. #165
    BKTurner47's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Quote Originally Posted by HipsterSamuel View Post
    Oh man some of my old battles are cringey aaaaaaa

    My newer ones are decent though

    Anyway I might want to write a new one of these once winter break rolls around and I have a shit ton of free time so feel free to suggest shit I'm pretty open-minded to doing anything
    Hmmm.... open-minded to anything, you say? I know I'm a bit late to this one, but I'm still gonna try to have some fun with this...

    Spoiler: 
    1. Sigmund Freud vs. Bill Cipher (This one should be rather self-explanatory)

    2. Henry David Thoreau vs. Captain Planet feat. Al Gore (Battle of the environmentalists)

    3. Timmy Turner vs. Harry Houdini (Alliterating names associated with "magic")

    4. Butch Hartman vs. Alex Hirsch (Battle of the one-hit-wonder animators)

    5. Matt Murdock / Daredevil vs. Evel Kneavel (Battle of the daredevil's, come on)

    6. TheInfiniteSource / Vic Porter vs. Lil Pump (Arguably the two worst rappers out there) [I can help you with this one if you want me to]

    7. Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable vs. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West (No need to explain the "sitch" here )

    8. Captain America vs. Ulysses S. Grant (A Civil War battle in a meta sort-of-sense)

    9. Atticus Finch vs. Phoenix Wright (Battle of the "Ace Attorneys")

    10. Professor Charles Xavier vs. Malcolm X (Civil Rights activists with radically different ideas with names ending with "X")

  6. #166
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    So I WANT to do an audio to this beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKhJV6MT8zQ but audios are hard so that might not be for a while

    For now enjoy Thanos vs. J. Robert Oppenheimer

    Thanos: I know what’s like to lose, but not to a scrawny Little Boy with a Fat Tie
    Marvel’s biggest bad guy, Ally, better give it up like you gave up all your money when your dad died
    You made a science fair project. You made an A bomb but your groupmates hated your guts
    I leave behind nothing but ash, you leave behind nothing but ash and cigarette butts
    You wiped out two cities and killed 200,000? That’s cute
    I vaporized the Avengers! You vaporized Japanese guys on their morning commute
    Reality is I don’t have time to waste on this powerless, soulless waste of space
    But I don’t mind, just watching his ass disgraced just puts a smile on my face

    Oppenheimer: Put those raps in the dustbin with along with all your superfriends
    Take your planet-sized Ego, and shove it up with Ant-Man
    I was happy when you snapped, helped cut down on all the fodder
    Your whole franchise was going off the deep end even faster than your daughter
    Your barber sure went for that head, that dome’s looking smooth like Stark when he switched your mittens
    When I’m done spittin’, this purple Simpson’ll be left wishin’ he was never written
    We’re in the Endgame now, Tinky Winky, I’m finishing this like I finished the War
    Consider this verse a warning, surrender now before I drop one more

    Thanos: Bitch, you started the Cold War! That’s shit’s still going on for infinity
    Your Commie chick fetish cost you everything, minus your virginity
    Allow me to help you downsize, your team looks a bit overstaffed
    And while I’m at it, someone oughta snap all those letters in your long-ass name in half *snap*
    My bars’ll weigh on you harder than your lifelong guilty conscience
    I’d say to admit you’re an idiot, but you already did to Congress
    So hop on your little Enola Gay and fly straight back to Caltech
    The work is done, now I rest and watch the sunrise upon a grateful track

    Oppenheimer: Sorry to burst your bubbles, but that was duller than your kid sword
    I ride with Albert Einstein, your only friend is Squidward
    I’m a cosmic rays doctor, you’re the cosmic cube dropper
    I’ve got my name on this win like it was the Thanoscopter
    I caused a massive blast with no backlash and no aftermath, I don’t half-ass
    and leave half of lives, I leave half-lives, there’s no compromise, EVERYBODY dies
    This last part here won’t feel so good, feel free to laugh, cry, or sit silently
    Now I am become death, you shouldn’t have tried to fuck with me
    *bomb drops on Thanos*

    Reference Guide:
    Spoiler: 
    Reference Guide:
    Thanos: I know what’s like to lose, but not to a scrawny Little Boy with a Fat Tie
    Thanos' first line in Infinity War is "I know what it's like to lose". Reference to the names of the two atomic bombs, Little Boy and Fat Guy. Oppenheimer was notoriously very skinny, and wore big ass ties
    Marvel’s biggest bad guy, Ally, better give it up like you gave up all your money when your dad died
    Thanos calls Oppenheimer "Ally" as one might say "friend" in reference to the fact that he worked with the Allies. To quote Wikipedia, "When his father died in 1937 leaving $392,602 to be divided between Oppenheimer and his brother Frank, Oppenheimer immediately wrote out a will that left his estate to the University of California to be used for graduate scholarships."
    You made a science fair project. You made an A bomb but your groupmates hated your guts
    Thanos underplaying the Manhattan Project by calling it a science fair project. Double meaning with "A bomb" referring to the atom bomb and "a bomb that gets an A", continuing off of the gag that the atom bomb was just a science fair project. Going off of that, there's always that one guy in every group project that everyone hates. A lot of the dudes on the Manhattan Project said Oppenheimer was a dick.
    I leave behind nothing but ash, you leave behind nothing but ash and cigarette butts
    Reference to the end of Infinity War when Thanos turns half the world to ash. Oppenheimer was a chain smoker who died of lung cancer.
    You wiped out two cities and killed 200,000? That’s cute
    Thanos' body count is much higher than 200,000
    I vaporized the Avengers! You vaporized Japanese guys on their morning commute
    A dig at Oppenheimer for killing innocents. The bombs dropped fairly early in the morning, so a lot of the Japanese civilians were peacefully on their way to work when the bombs dropped.
    Reality is I don’t have time to waste on this powerless, soulless waste of space
    But I don’t mind, just watching his ass disgraced just puts a smile on my face
    Got in a reference to all of the Infinity Stones: Reality, Time, Power, Soul, Space, Mind. Also a reference to the "this does put a smile on my face" Thanos quote that never actually made it into the movie but has become something of a meme.

    Oppenheimer: Put those raps in the dustbin with along with all your superfriends
    Oppenheimer is calling Thanos' raps trash. Superfriends is a reference to the DC comic series. I know Thanos is Marvel but I thought it sounded right here.
    Take your planet-sized Ego, and shove it up with Ant-Man
    Reference to Ego the Living Planet from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and the infamous Thanus theory that claims Thanos could be defeated if Ant-Man were to shrink down, crawl inside of Thanos' butt, and grow to normal size, thus blowing Thanos up from the inside. Oppenheimer is telling Thanos to take his giant ego and shove it up his ass.
    I was happy when you snapped, helped cut down on all the fodder
    Oppenheimer referencing the complaint that the MCU has too many characters.
    Your whole franchise was going off the deep end even faster than your daughter
    Reference to when Thanos throws his beloved daughter off a cliff to get the Soul Stone.
    Your barber sure went for that head, that dome’s looking smooth like Stark when he switched your mittens
    Reference to Thor's "you should've gone for the head", Thanos' baldness, and Thanos' big failure at the end of Engame when Tony Stark swaps his infinity gauntlet with a fake glove.
    When I’m done spittin’, this purple Simpson’ll be left wishin’ he was never written
    Thanos looks like Homer Simpson. Beyond that, this line is just here to help the verse flow better
    We’re in the Endgame now, Tinky Winky, I’m finishing this like I finished the War
    Reference to Dr. Strange's "We're in the Endgame now" quote. Thanos is purple, just like Tinky Winky the Teletubby. The dropping of the atomic bomb is what got Japan to surrender, thus effectively ending World War II.
    Consider this verse a warning, surrender now before I drop one more
    After the US dropped the first bomb, they waited for a surrender from the Japanese. When none came (though it is now believed by some that Japan was trying to surrender), they dropped another one.

    Thanos: Bitch, you started the Cold War! That’s shit’s still going on for infinity
    Thanos' retort to Oppenheimer's boast that he ended WWII. The development of nuclear weapons is often seen as a major cause of the Cold War. The feud between US and Russia still hasn't completely gone away. Also a reference to "Infinity War".
    Your Commie chick fetish cost you everything, minus your virginity
    Oppenheimer dated two Communist girls. Later in his life, he had his security clearance revoked for his ties to the Communist Party. Also a reference to the "What did it cost?" moment from Infinity War.
    Allow me to help you downsize, your team looks a bit overstaffed
    Thanos warning that he's about to snap and wipe out Oppenheimer's team, using business terms like "downsizing" and "overstaffed".
    And while I’m at it, someone oughta snap all those letters in your long-ass name in half *snap*
    Julius Robert Oppenheimer is a very long name. My imagination for the visuals on this would be Thanos snapping and all of the scientists working on the bomb in Oppenheimer's background get dusted.
    My bars’ll weigh on you harder than your lifelong guilty conscience
    Oppenheimer felt very guilty about his role in the nuclearization of the world, and spent much of the later half of his life advocating for denuclearization.
    I’d say to admit you’re an idiot, but you already did to Congress
    Reference to Oppenheimer's security hearing before Congress. From Wikipedia: "Asked why he had fabricated a story that three people had been approached for espionage, Oppenheimer responded, 'Because I was an idiot.'" Thanos is following up on his line by hitting Oppenheimer for his regret.
    So hop on your little Enola Gay and fly straight back to Caltech
    Enola Gay was the name of the plane from which the first bomb was dropped. Gay - straight wordplay. After the Manhattan Project, Oppenheimer moved back to his old town Caltech.
    The work is done, now I rest and watch the sunrise upon a grateful track
    Reference to two Thanos quotes: "The work is done" and "I rest, and watch the sun rise upon a grateful universe". Instead of universe, it's track. He's saying his verse was so good, the track is grateful for his verse.

    Oppenheimer: Sorry to burst your bubbles, but that was duller than your kid sword
    Reference to Thanos' use of bubbles in Infinity War, and to his not-very-sharp-looking sword from Endgame.
    I ride with Albert Einstein, your only friend is Squidward
    Albert Einstein helped with the Manhattan Project. Reference to Ebony Maw, Thanos' right-hand man who Tony Stark calls "Squidward" in Infinity War.
    I’m a cosmic rays doctor, you’re the cosmic cube dropper
    Oppenheimer studied cosmic rays. Thanos dropping the cosmic cube is a meme in some parts of the internet
    I’ve got my name on this win like it was the Thanoscopter

    I caused a massive blast with no backlash and no aftermath, I don’t half-ass
    and leave half of lives, I leave half-lives, there’s no compromise, EVERYBODY dies
    A comparison line and a flow-focused line. Oppenheimer is saying that Thanos only kills half of all life, whereas his atomic bomb wipes out everything in its path. Half-lives is a nuclear radiation term. Also a subtle reference to when Mark Ruffalo spoiled the ending of Infinity War before it came out in an interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Toq38qLpG0 He said "EVERYBODY DIES", but really only half of everybody died.
    This last part here won’t feel so good, feel free to laugh, cry, or sit silently
    Reference to the famous "I don't feel so good" line from Infinity War. These last two lines both reference the "I am become death" video from Oppenheimer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb13ynu3Iac
    Now I am become death, you shouldn’t have tried to fuck with me
    In the comics, Thanos' arc isn't "restoring balance to the universe", it's that's he's in love with Lady Death.
    *bomb drops on Thanos*
    Last edited by Samos; 05-31-2019 at 09:52 PM.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  7. #167
    Brad's Avatar Super Moderator
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    You made me a stan for Oppenheimer in a battle. Think he won handily.


    Woah Mama:

    Spoiler: 




    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    when you make a post and brad instantly buries it and you decide that maybe suicide is the answer
    Quote Originally Posted by Sane
    Brad didn't do shit to save the forum it was all NukeL3AR
    Quote Originally Posted by Turtle
    fking brad with his white writing on a white background
    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig
    Brad I swear to god I'll Fortnite dance on your grave
    Quote Originally Posted by Adonis
    brad can i hit ur juul please bro just one hit
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    “Bumblin’” Brad sent in a paper claiming to have “interviewed” me! Wrong! I have done no such thing, and Liddle Bradley had to sit in his room by himself and make up quotes in order to get his work “published”. Despite the negative forum covfefe, the Fake News Media controlled by Globalist Sam Bama is whipping itself into a frenzy trying to make up lies about your favorite forumer (Me!)

  8. #168
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brad View Post
    You made me a stan for Oppenheimer in a battle. Think he won handily.
    THANK YOU I really think he's the perfect type of character for ERB to use

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  9. #169
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    Pretty dope. I know we both like this idea for ERB itself and I thought you really did it justice. Glad you made my cosmic cube dropper line work too. I think that moment is even funnier/more humiliating for Thanks than Thanoscopter.

    Also wanna mention I did a performance of your Roosevelt vs Freddy battle at a party I went to once lol. Can't remember if I ever mentioned that before.


    Who won?

    Spoiler: 
    Bill O'Reilly
    Hitler
    Abraham Lincoln
    Sarah Palin
    Kim Jong-il
    Beethoven
    Einstein
    Genghis Khan
    Bonaparte
    Benjamin Franklin
    Dumbledore
    Dr. Seuss
    Mr. T
    Columbus
    EpicLloyd
    Hitler
    Master Chief
    Wright Bros
    Elvis Presley
    Marilyn Monroe
    Steve Jobs
    Freddie Mercury
    Barack Obama
    Doc Brown
    Clint Eastwood
    Sherlock Holmes
    Moses
    Eve
    Gandhi
    Edison
    Babe Ruth
    Mozart
    Gorbachev
    Darth Vader
    Al Capone
    Joan of Arc
    Bob Ross
    Michael Jordan
    JP Morgan
    Rick Grimes
    Superman
    Stephen King
    Sir Isaac Newton
    William Wallace
    Artists
    Stay Puft
    Bonnie and Clyde
    Zeus
    Hannibal Lecter
    Oprah Winfrey
    Quentin Tarantino
    Lewis and Clark
    David Copperfield
    RoboCop
    Eastern Philosophers (Confucius)
    Julius Caesar
    Stan Lee
    Boba Fett
    JRR Tolkien
    Gordon Ramsay
    Frederick Douglass
    Sean Connery
    Bruce Banner
    Frederick the Great
    Donald Trump
    Charles Darwin
    Wonder Woman
    Tony Hawk
    Theodore Roosevelt
    EpicLLOYD

  10. #170
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Hat View Post
    Pretty dope. I know we both like this idea for ERB itself and I thought you really did it justice. Glad you made my cosmic cube dropper line work too. I think that moment is even funnier/more humiliating for Thanks than Thanoscopter.

    Also wanna mention I did a performance of your Roosevelt vs Freddy battle at a party I went to once lol. Can't remember if I ever mentioned that before.
    I think you did tell me that once lol I'm glad it got to live and breathe somewhere beyond this forum

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

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