It was a stormy night, the rain and wind howled in the frigid air. Dion stumbled into the bar. It was a seedy little place, but it had good tunes, so why the hell not. He took a seat, and ordered a martini, shaken, not stirred. The man next to him grumbled, "You again.." Dion turned, and the man removed his hood. It was Rob! His cyborg eye focused on Dion. Dion cracked his knuckles, and the bar's patrons grew quiet.
"Looks like it's time for Round Two."
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
DION!
VS!
ROB!
BEGIN!
Dion: Beat your ass once, then I kicked 2 Chainz's too,
I'll beat you so bad, you'll change your name color to blue!
I'm living the thug life, watching anime while I masturbate,
You've been in college forever, how many years till you graduate?
You're hardly even active, know how many reports I close?
Why don't you quit playin', go back to your job at Domino's!
Rob: My raps are like a supernova, but even hotter,
I'll beat your ass senseless till you gargle coconut water!
SocialStealth on the attack, turn your Canuck face to ash,
So badass I did site updates after a car crash!
When I'm away at school, you let Spam-Bots make out like bandits,
And I'm pretty sure your big ass is taking up forum bandwidth!
*The bartender turns around, dropping his rag in disgust. He lifts his wide brimmed hat, revealing that the Bartender is LAWLzoR, he throws off his Ray-Bans, and points an accusing finger at the two.*
LAWLzoR:
Dion! Let this doctor give you a Second Opinion
you're the most powerful forumer but complain like you're a minion
and Rob! You made yourself so scarce on this forum
it used to be great until you brought us boredom
luckily I cured the boredom, you two phonies!
When it comes to the forum I'm the God of Bronies!
*The pub goes quiet, the only sound heard is the sound of hooves clopping on the hardwood floor. An immaculately dressed gentleman with a top hat and gear shaped monocle hops off his steed. He zips his fly, with a steely gaze befitting a knight.*
"Not. So. Fast. Did somebody say, God of Bronies?"
Cogs:
Excelsior! I'm here to kill three birds with one stone,
The forum's finest is here, y'know, ponies gonna pwn!
I'll be adding all your hides to my wall of wins,
But first I'll be wiping all these raps off you motherfucker's chins,
Lemme here you say 'wut' Dion, LAWL's deader than disco,
And Rob, you're a poser, I started this whole rapping fiasco!
*The scene melts around the rappers, turning around in confusion, the quartet find themselves in a field of sunflowers. A fiery meteor crashes in front of them, a figure emerging.*
"Oh fuck.." Dion and Rob whispered.
"Holy shit.." muttered LAWL.
"I'd fuck him." Cogs said, winking at the apparition, who has now thrown his guitar to the ground.
Nicepeter: My name is Nice Peter, and I don't like what I see here.
You're acting like kids, and members ask pity, can't you hear ?
We're rapping for passion, any issues should be considered as a crime
I should kick all of your asses, but it wouldn't be worth the time.
You forgot the essential while your heads inflate like a balloon
It's a community, not a battlefield... I am disappointed. See you soon.
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
E-E-E-EPIC CRAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
Originally Posted by Sambama
He shouts "WHY DIDNT YOU LOVE ME SPARTICA???!!!!?!?!?!"
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