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Thread: Presidential Reviews

  1. #1151
    PortlyLlama80's Avatar Member
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    Thanks for taking the time to review my little battle Sam. I admit. I did take the WTG/Willy no mates from WWI Origins. I couldn't think of anything else for that part and it worked for the battle here. but it was really stupid

    I found that coming up with a clever joke for every reference was harder then it sounded. I can see why you disliked some of the filler lines. I felt I honestly could've done better. I probably could've. but I am still trying to figure this out.

    And I really have no idea what I was thinking with the bi-polar tree line. That was really stupid. and I probably shouldn't have included it.

  2. #1152
    Can you please review my John F. Kennedy vs Julius Caesar battle?

  3. #1153
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of #Nutty's Swampert vs. Sceptile (http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...l=1#post371074). Next is Joker vs. Weird Al.
    Spoiler: 
    Sceptile: The first two lines are pretty much just filler. I can sort of see where you're going with the orange cheeks line, but it just comes off as kind of awkward, and really I don't see the point about bragging over turning your opponent on. The second verse is pretty great, with a decent first line, a good but kind of awkward second line, and an awesome last two lines. Making two dick jokes in the same verse makes it seem kind of repetitive, but it's still clever. 8.5/10

    Swampert: The Lakota reference is pretty random, not really related to either of these guys. I kind of like the last two lines of the first verse though. As for the second verse, the brain line is pretty good, the bullet seed reference is OK but it's not really much of an insult, and the Drop Like an Earthquake reference is kind of random but still decent. 8.5/10

    Mega Sceptile: The Jack the Ripper reference is kind of random but still good, while the Swift Swim line and the last line are both pretty good reference. The only line in this verse I don't really like is the class line, not really a reference to anything. 8.5/10

    Mega Swampert: I thought the Shrek reference was pretty funny. Aside from that, I like the Smoochum line, but the other two lines in this verse are sort of vague and not really references to anything that isn't already obvious. 8/10

    Mega Blaziken: I personally found this the weakest verse in the battle. Really, the only non-random reference in this verse is the Blaze Kick line, which is sort of just a mention and not really a joke. I kind of like how Sceptile is called a green bean, that's kind of funny, but that's pretty much it for this verse. 6.5/10

    Overall: This battle definitely has a few more laughs than your average battle. There are maybe a few too many sex jokes, and while some of them are actually pretty clever, some of them seem to try too hard. Also, try to keep the references related to the rappers. It's fine to have a few obscure references, but you need to really be able to see the connection between the rappers and the references. 7.5/10

    Sceptile/Mega Sceptile's Best Line: Your verses are shittier than your own Muddy Water comin' out your crack
    Sceptile/Mega Sceptile's Worst Line: The green gecko monster has come to bash
    Swampert/Mega Swampert's Best Line: You can't grow a brain, something you need
    Swampert/Mega Swampert's Worst Line: MY SHAKING ARMS ARE MY VICTORY DANCE, FOR I JUST BEAT YOU!
    Mega Blaziken's Best Line: Fatass lay off the cookies, Green Bean stop being a fucking dick!
    Mega Blaziken's Worst Line: How about both of you pussies shut the fuck up?!

    Final Results:
    Sceptile/Mega Sceptile: 17/20
    Swampert/Mega Swampert: 16.5/20
    Mega Blaziken: 6.5/10 (equivalent to 13/20)

    Total Score: 47.5/60 (equivalent to 39.5/50)

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  4. #1154
    Lohuydahutt's Avatar Senior Member
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    I don't really think this is exactly my finest work of art or anything but it still would be fun to see what you think of it. So could you review my new Bob the Builder vs Marvin Heemeyer battle? Also, I made a reference guide this time, I also made one for Ash vs Darwin as well if you want to check it out.

    http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...920#post371920

    Spoiler: 
    My life story:
    Spoiler: 


    Spoiler: 

    I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)

  5. #1155
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of BrineBlade's Joker vs. Weird Al (http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...l=1#post370368). Next is George R.R. Martin vs. J.R.R. Tolkien.
    Spoiler: 
    The Joker-Round 1: I do kind of like the batty man line, it's a nice little pun. The song references could be a lot better. For example, there isn't really any joke made about "Fat", he just calls him fat and then moves on. 7/10

    Weird Al Yankovic-Round 1: There really aren't any references whatsoever in this verse, it's pretty much just filler. I guess the tropical, mafia, and straightjacket line is a reference to the way he dresses, and that line is decent, but the rest of it is just average. 5/10

    The Joker-Round 2: There are only two reference in this verse, and neither are that clever. The "why so serious" line is really just thrown in there, and there's no real joke about it whatsoever, and the same could be said for the "everything you know" line. 4/10

    Weird Al Yankovic-Round 2: The Barbara and Harley lines are at least references, and they're not bad lines, so this verse isn't so bad. The glass cup line doesn't rhyme with anything, but I won't take off too much for that. 6.5/10

    Pinkamena-Round 3: I was hoping the Winnie the Pooh joke was just a reference I wasn't getting, but I googled it and as far as the internet knows, Winnie the Pooh has nothing to do with Pinkamena, so that line just seems too random. I sort of like the "not always so sweet" line, but the rest of the verse doesn't really have any great disses or boasts. 5.5/10

    Overall: It's not quite as good as the Pac-Man vs. Mario battle. There are once again a lot of filler lines and some pretty random references. Try to let no filler lines in your battles, and remember to try to make every single line something you're proud of. Preferably reference something in each line. 5.5/10

    The Joker's Best Line: Oh look, another batty man to add to my collection
    The Joker's Worst Line: (I think everything you know is wrong!) But this isn’t the time to start singing that song.
    Weird Al Yankovic's Best Line: (You only seem to be in three different looks,) Tropical, mafia, and straightjacket, you mook!
    Weird Al Yankovic's Worst Line: I mean every single time you appear, you smell and look like an ass!
    Pinkamena's Best Line: I’m not always sweet, now I’ll make a new batch
    Pinkamena's Worst Line: Cupcakes so sweet, and I'm also expired

    Final Results:
    The Joker: 11/20
    Weird Al Yankovic: 11.5/20
    Pinkamena: 5.5/20 (equivalent to 11/20)

    Total Score: 33.5/60 (equivalent to 28/50)

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  6. #1156
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
    Join Date
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    Frederick Douglass vs Nelson Mandela please.

    http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...th-Rap-Battles
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  7. #1157
    Katz's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    *The class line is a reference to the Pokémon Trainer School from the beach before Slateport
    EDIT: You didn't put their best and worst lines :3
    Hey, I'm Katz, and I'm a former Global Moderator! Always here to talk! If you haven't already, register an account!


    In my island of dreams, you are with me it seems

  8. #1158
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of WardenOfTheNorth's George R.R. Marin vs. J.R.R. Tolkien (http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...l=1#post371166). Next is JonTron vs. Nostalgia Critic 2.
    Spoiler: 
    J.R.R. Tolkien-Round 1: First two lines reference things that could've made for better jokes (Martin's weight and the Quenya language), but the third line is pretty great, and the fourth line, while predictable, is still good. I like the reference to the famous meme, and the turtle line is pretty funny too. 8/10

    George R.R. Martin-Round 1: The first three lines seem fairly standard and don't seem to really make any jokes, but I like the Blackwater Bay line. The good guys line is kind of generic, the Fevre dream line is awesome, the Frodo line doesn't seem to be anything more than just a mention, and the last line is good but it's not really a dis or an insult. 7.5/10

    J.R.R. Tolkien-Round 2: The Feast For the Crows reference is great, and the second line is probably the best fat joke in the battle. The third line seems pretty filler, but the last line is decent enough for me to call this the best verse in the battle. 9/10

    George R.R. Martin-Round 2: The Stark killing line is kind of awkwardly written, but it still works pretty well. The ending lines are pretty good, and it actually has a fairly clever set-up line, which ERB rarely does and FMERBs almost never do, so I was definitely impressed by that. 8.5/10

    Overall: The first two verses were average to good, while the last two verses were awesome. I wouldn't say it's a lack of references that's bringing you down, you've certainly got the right amount of them. It's just that a few of the references seem more like mentions than real jokes. There's also a filler line here and there, but all things considered, this is pretty great. 8/10

    J.R.R. Tolkien's Best Line: You'll be nothing but A Feast for Crows when I'm through with you
    J.R.R. Tolkien's Worst Line: I'm the father of high fantasy, you're absolutely nothing
    George R.R. Martin's Best Line: You must be in a trench Fevre Dream if you think that's ok
    George R.R. Martin's Worst Line: Here's George R.R. Martin, first of his name

    Final Results:
    J.R.R. Tolkien: 17/20
    George R.R. Martin: 16/20

    Total Score: 41/50

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  9. #1159
    Katz's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
    Join Date
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    Also for my battle, the Mountain Dew Voltage line was one I didn't think you'd get.
    So I'll explain.
    1a. It was a parody to Sceptile's first verse
    1b. Mountain dew is green = Sceptile
    Mountain Dew Voltage is blue = Swampert

    In conclusion, its a Blue drink that is normally green which makes fun of an earlier line while making a dis to both rappers.
    Hey, I'm Katz, and I'm a former Global Moderator! Always here to talk! If you haven't already, register an account!


    In my island of dreams, you are with me it seems

  10. #1160
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of BrineBlade's JonTron vs. Nostalgia Critic 2 (http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...l=1#post370758). Next is Stop Hating on Sonic.
    Spoiler: 
    JonTron-Round 1: The line with the sucking pun and the It reference actually does a pretty good job at mixing humor with information. The gay line is just a generic insult that comes off as kind of lame and the freakshowboat line doesn't rhyme with anything, but the Slappy reference is alright. 7/10

    Nostalgia Critic-Round 1: The parrot reference isn't really a joke, just a mention. I sort of like the movie is better than the game line, as I guess that could symbolize how the Critic is better, but insulting Home Alone 3 seemed kind of pointless. I mean, it's not like Jon made the movie or anything, so that's not much of a dis. The Satan reference is alright. 6/10

    JonTron-Round 2: The Satan comeback is pretty generic and not that clever, and the next two lines are referenceless. There are probably better jokes you could've made about the Nostalgia Chick, but I actually liked the Normal Boots line a fair amount. In fact, now I sort of wish I had used a line like it in the JonTron battle I wrote, even if it rhymes boots with boot. 6.5/10

    Nostalgia Critic-Round 2: This verse focuses too much on storytelling and not enough on clever writing. The Brentalfloss thing just seems a bit random, and it doesn't really dis Jon in any way, and the rest of the lines make references but not many actual jokes. 4/10

    Overall: There are definitely signs of improvement in this battle. A few lines seem pretty filler and are just too generic, but you're making more references and your jokes about the references are definitely getting better. It still does suffer from some of your other battles' problems, just not quite as much. 6/10

    JonTron's Best Line: (Now let me put on some Normal Boots!) Cause Jacque and I are gonna give you the boot!
    JonTron's Worst Line: (Cause you think reviewing movies all day) Just distracts you from realizing you’re gay!
    Nostalgia Critic's Best Line: The movie’s always better than the game, you see?
    Nostalgia Critic's Worst Line: While Jon has killed Jacque and is picking his nose

    Final Results:
    JonTron: 13.5/20
    Nostalgia Critic: 10/20

    Total Score: 29.5/50

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

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