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Thread: Presidential Reviews

  1. #1361
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of King's Socrates vs. Confucius. Next is Romeo and Juliet vs. Bonnie and Clyde.
    Spoiler: 
    Socrates: I really like how the first two lines are take-offs of actual Socrates quotes. The third line is a decent set-up, but the gadfly line doesn't have much of a punchline. Neither do the next 2 lines for that matter. The Athens ruling class line is kind of obvious, although I have to like the mustache line. The rest of the verse doesn't seem that strong, but I'm probably missing some references. 7.5/10

    Confucius: Kind of a weak threat to open up the verse. Telling someone they'll be confused isn't really intimidating. Trial line isn't brilliant but it's decent enough. The Golden Rule line could've been better, but the teacher line is alright, albeit kind of done before. The verse pretty much just totally picks up from there. Burning books, thoughts, Hemlock, sock-rates are all great. It ends on a pretty meh note, but this verse has a great middle section. 8/10

    Plato: The Miyagi reference is funny, but it could've been a lot funnier if it mentioned something specific about Miyagi. A lot of these lines aren't too clever, but they're funny enough for me to consider them good lines, like the fortune cookies line, the nipples line and the Ching Chang Yoda line. Still, there are some clever lines too, like the perfect form line and the Atlantis line. 8/10

    Laozi: First line isn't much of a reference, but the second line is funny. The balance line is awesome, but then the verse kind of heads downhill for the rest of the lines. There just aren't enough jokes. The last line's good enough to save this verse from being the worst though. 7.5/10

    Kant: Obvious but pretty good opener, and the second line is actually not that battle. The calm line's alright, but there could've been a better “might not have existed” joke. Pretty good puns throughout the rest of the verse though. 8.5/10

    Buddha: Rather fact-statey Steve Jobs line that doesn't seem to attempt any joke. The reincarnation line is awesome, and the last line is funny, but most of this verse is more fact-stating than joking. 7/10

    Nietzsche: Awesome and hilarious opening line. Ubermensch line is pretty good, but then it sort of takes a down turn and doesn't attempt too many jokes. The Nirvana reference is funny and the last line works well. 8/10

    Zoroaster: This verse starts out pretty weak and takes a while to pick up. Too many jokeless references until the last 3 lines, which all work to some degree. 7.5/10

    Bertrand Russell: “Zoroasshole” isn't genius but it's funny enough. The Joseph Smith reference seems kind of random, and the next 2 lines are more statey than jokey. Really like the idealism line, and the last 3 lines range from OK to good. 8/10

    Sun Tzu: Not a brilliant but not a terrible opener, and the second line's pretty good. A few annoying filler lines in this verse, but the references are actually pretty good jokes. 8.5/10

    Overall: It does suffer from a lot of the problems most Fan Mades too, such as too many filler lines, references that don't make any jokes, etc., but this battle does have some legitimately really clever and really funny lines. I laughed more at this battle than I did most fan mades. It just needs to be more consistent for it. Only put in lines you're really proud of, take a lot of risks and it'll pay off eventually. 7.5/10

    Socrates' Best Line: You spit rhymes and thoughts thinner than your own mustache!
    Socrates' Worst Line: I taught the greats – Plato and Xenophon
    Confucius' Best Line: They burnt my fucking books because my rhymes were so hot
    Confucius' Worst Line: How can your puny Western brain compare with my Eastern mind?
    Plato's Best Line: While your legacy is being tattooed onto white dude's nipples
    Plato's Worst Line: My name is Plato, don't hate yo, my raps are abstract truths
    Laozi's Best Line: Your "bond" with Socrates is anything but platonic
    Laozi's Worst Line: I grew tired of China's decay and it's constraints
    Kant's Best Line: My verse is the End of All Things, I took philosophy to new heights
    Kant's Worst Line: Calling yourself great? You may not even exist!
    Buddha's Best Line: Maybe after this y'all will be reincarnated into better rappers?
    Buddha's Worst Line: While Kant here just resorts to pettiness and hate
    Nietszche's Best Line: God is dead, I can discern this just by listening to your raps
    Nietszche's Worst Line: Go back up your little mountain and practice some zen!
    Zoroaster's Best Line: I'm the good, you're the bad, it's battle of two extremes
    Zoroaster's Worst Line: Bitch, I never said any of that shit!
    Bertrand Russell's Best Line: I lead the revolt against Idealism but my rhymes are perfect
    Bertrand Russell's Worst Line: You're just mad that your lame religion didn't reach world importance
    Sun Tzu's Best Line: I lead armies to victory, you lead students to boredom
    Sun Tzu's Worst Line: Bertrand Russell's a huge nerd, Nietzsche - you're a turd

    Total Score: 86/110

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  2. #1362
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of Romeo and Juliet vs. Bonnie and Clyde. Next is SaneButStrange vs. GonadTheNomad.
    Spoiler: 
    Beat: I really liked this beat, so i wasn't actually too surprised when I heard it was from Jesse. Guy's incredible at this. It definitely fits these rappers both more than it did Blackbeard or Al Capone, so good move on ERB's part. The instruments are pretty exciting. It's kind of repetitive, but it's not too noticeable unless you're really analyzing it. It still has enough variety to get it a good score. It might be Jesse's weakest beat, but that doesn't mean it's bad at all. 9/10

    Impressions and Costumes: So I guess they decided not to focus on any one particular version of these 2 couples. I can't find any pics of Clyde wearing suspenders like that, but they still do resemble then facially pretty well. Romeo and Juliet also don't have costumes that resemble any particular version, but that's more understandable since there's like a bajillion versions of them to use, it's probably more fair if they just didn't focus on any version. And what they did come up with for them is pretty good. Both look pretty young, Peter looks pretty funny, Grace looks pretty....uh, pretty. 9.5/10

    Bonnie and Clyde-Round 1: Two really great puns in the first 2 lines, I must say. It starts off as good as any battle ever has. Bonnie doesn't really follow those two great lines up that well, with one line that's just conversation and one line that pretty much just has 2 generic insults. More conversation between them in the next 2 lines, but at least it sets up some pretty great lines from Bonnie. I don't really watch porn, so I'm not sure what about "One Night in Paris" makes it worth referencing, but the line is still really funny. I'm not really sure how to divide up Clyde's next lines from O Romeo to clothes bro. Maybe I'll edit this when I get the lyric booklet, but basically, I like the flow line, not too keen on the fro-yo line, and like the drapes line enough. Guess it doesn't really matter, since 3 out of the 4 next lines are all pretty awesome (the one excluded being the Barrow Gang line), so this verse is near perfect either way. 9.5/10

    Romeo and Juliet-Round 1: The opening 4 lines that set up the verse are fairly weak. Dust bowl dildos sounds like it could have some clever double meaning, but to my knowledge it's just a Texas joke and dick joke. Juliet's lines don't even really try that hard, they're just set up. The flax wrench line doesn't seem to reference anything other than Shakespearean English, and the next line is kind of clever wordplay, but I don't think it references anything. Luckily, Romeo's last 2 lines save him here. The wrench line is just awesome on its own, while the federal state line sort of needs the thumb biting for the whole joke. Not that there's anything wrong with that, these are made to be videos after all. Juliet's first line is just weird, while the second line is pretty awesome. Not that big a fan of her last 2 lines honestly. They're both pretty insulting, but they're not really jokes, just fact stating. I guess the conjugal visit line tries a bit harder than the last one though. 8/10

    Bonnie and Clyde-Rest of the Battle: Clyde's pretty good in his 2 lines with the muzzle line and the domestic abuse joke (if they're both referencing what I think they're referencing). Bonnie's nothing special here. What about John Leguizano makes this so embarrassing exactly? The last verse is the weakest in the battle. Normally, I probably wouldn't even count it, but in this battle, Romeo and Juliet actually do an excellent job of story-telling and clever lines at the same time. We'll get to that in a bit though. 7.5/10

    Romeo and Juliet-Rest of the Battle: No wonder Bonnie shot her, Romeo and Juliet absolutely dominate the back-and-forth. Romeo's first line is a pretty nice reference, and his second line is funny, albeit not as clever. Juliet's first line sounds cool, but Clyde kind of already stole her thunder in the first verse with that kind of thing. Her second line probably wouldn't have been so strong if not for the cool Shakespearean wording of it. The failed actress line is good enough on its own, but it's hilariously delivered. It's like, she's dying, and she HAS to get one more dis in before she dies. Romeo also does an awesome and hilarious job at this, choosing to die in a specific way as to let them lick his ass. Juliet's "OH NOMEO" is funny, and it's even better if it's a Gnomeo reference. Her next line isn't so great, but her last line is a pretty clever way to go out. I can't praise this verse enough. They're storytelling, but they're actually dissing and making clever jokes too. THIS is what Scrooge's lines should've been. 9.5/10

    Overall: Not EVERY line in this battle is strong, but it does a lot of things right. It's just well directed, I guess is how I'd describe it. It says interesting, keeps a format that you can definitely see the beef in, and never lets its guard down with the lyrics to story-tell. Except for maybe Bonnie and Clyde at the end. But anyway, this is another great and unique entry into season 4. Oh, and since everyone seems to be into ranking these, I'd probably say: 1. Clyde, 2. Romeo, 3. Juliet, 4. Bonnie or something along those lines. 9/10

    Bonnie and Clyde's Best Line: Spit sick like a plague on both your houses!
    Bonnie and Clyde's Worst Line: Basically just their last verse.
    Romeo and Juliet's Best Line: (Then I shall kill myself! On my stomach I shall lie) So you louts can lick my ass, thus with a diss, I die!
    Romeo and Juliet's Worst Line: My love, your face is beauty to behold.

    Final Results:
    Bonnie and Clyde: 17/20
    Romeo and Juliet: 17.5/20

    Total Score: 62/70

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  3. #1363
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    Quote Originally Posted by HippySamuel View Post
    Here's my review of King's Socrates vs. Confucius. Next is Romeo and Juliet vs. Bonnie and Clyde.
    Spoiler: 
    Socrates: I really like how the first two lines are take-offs of actual Socrates quotes. The third line is a decent set-up, but the gadfly line doesn't have much of a punchline. Neither do the next 2 lines for that matter. The Athens ruling class line is kind of obvious, although I have to like the mustache line. The rest of the verse doesn't seem that strong, but I'm probably missing some references. 7.5/10

    Confucius: Kind of a weak threat to open up the verse. Telling someone they'll be confused isn't really intimidating. Trial line isn't brilliant but it's decent enough. The Golden Rule line could've been better, but the teacher line is alright, albeit kind of done before. The verse pretty much just totally picks up from there. Burning books, thoughts, Hemlock, sock-rates are all great. It ends on a pretty meh note, but this verse has a great middle section. 8/10

    Plato: The Miyagi reference is funny, but it could've been a lot funnier if it mentioned something specific about Miyagi. A lot of these lines aren't too clever, but they're funny enough for me to consider them good lines, like the fortune cookies line, the nipples line and the Ching Chang Yoda line. Still, there are some clever lines too, like the perfect form line and the Atlantis line. 8/10

    Laozi: First line isn't much of a reference, but the second line is funny. The balance line is awesome, but then the verse kind of heads downhill for the rest of the lines. There just aren't enough jokes. The last line's good enough to save this verse from being the worst though. 7.5/10

    Kant: Obvious but pretty good opener, and the second line is actually not that battle. The calm line's alright, but there could've been a better “might not have existed” joke. Pretty good puns throughout the rest of the verse though. 8.5/10

    Buddha: Rather fact-statey Steve Jobs line that doesn't seem to attempt any joke. The reincarnation line is awesome, and the last line is funny, but most of this verse is more fact-stating than joking. 7/10

    Nietzsche: Awesome and hilarious opening line. Ubermensch line is pretty good, but then it sort of takes a down turn and doesn't attempt too many jokes. The Nirvana reference is funny and the last line works well. 8/10

    Zoroaster: This verse starts out pretty weak and takes a while to pick up. Too many jokeless references until the last 3 lines, which all work to some degree. 7.5/10

    Bertrand Russell: “Zoroasshole” isn't genius but it's funny enough. The Joseph Smith reference seems kind of random, and the next 2 lines are more statey than jokey. Really like the idealism line, and the last 3 lines range from OK to good. 8/10

    Sun Tzu: Not a brilliant but not a terrible opener, and the second line's pretty good. A few annoying filler lines in this verse, but the references are actually pretty good jokes. 8.5/10

    Overall: It does suffer from a lot of the problems most Fan Mades too, such as too many filler lines, references that don't make any jokes, etc., but this battle does have some legitimately really clever and really funny lines. I laughed more at this battle than I did most fan mades. It just needs to be more consistent for it. Only put in lines you're really proud of, take a lot of risks and it'll pay off eventually. 7.5/10

    Socrates' Best Line: You spit rhymes and thoughts thinner than your own mustache!
    Socrates' Worst Line: I taught the greats – Plato and Xenophon
    Confucius' Best Line: They burnt my fucking books because my rhymes were so hot
    Confucius' Worst Line: How can your puny Western brain compare with my Eastern mind?
    Plato's Best Line: While your legacy is being tattooed onto white dude's nipples
    Plato's Worst Line: My name is Plato, don't hate yo, my raps are abstract truths
    Laozi's Best Line: Your "bond" with Socrates is anything but platonic
    Laozi's Worst Line: I grew tired of China's decay and it's constraints
    Kant's Best Line: My verse is the End of All Things, I took philosophy to new heights
    Kant's Worst Line: Calling yourself great? You may not even exist!
    Buddha's Best Line: Maybe after this y'all will be reincarnated into better rappers?
    Buddha's Worst Line: While Kant here just resorts to pettiness and hate
    Nietszche's Best Line: God is dead, I can discern this just by listening to your raps
    Nietszche's Worst Line: Go back up your little mountain and practice some zen!
    Zoroaster's Best Line: I'm the good, you're the bad, it's battle of two extremes
    Zoroaster's Worst Line: Bitch, I never said any of that shit!
    Bertrand Russell's Best Line: I lead the revolt against Idealism but my rhymes are perfect
    Bertrand Russell's Worst Line: You're just mad that your lame religion didn't reach world importance
    Sun Tzu's Best Line: I lead armies to victory, you lead students to boredom
    Sun Tzu's Worst Line: Bertrand Russell's a huge nerd, Nietzsche - you're a turd

    Total Score: 86/110
    Thanks for the awesome review, boi.
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  4. #1364
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of SaneButStrange vs. Gonadthenomad. Next is Zeus vs. Thor.
    Spoiler: 
    SaneButStrange-Round 1: While I certainly don't understand the rationality of your hate for this battle, this verse is pretty funny. The fluffs are funny, the 2 Beverly Clearly references go an appropriate amount of overboard so that they don't get old, and it never tries too hard to be funny. 8.5/10

    GonadTheNomad-Round 1: Pretty nice opening line, if it is in fact referencing the famous "without the wit" line. If it's not, then it's just a generic insult. A lot of the upcoming lines in this verse are all reference, no joke. Some of them seem even self-dissing, like the balls deep line. The nomad line is funny, but I don't really see the point, as it doesn't seem to be a dis, threat or boast. The stick line is...an OK threat I suppose. The blah line is a decent comparison, but the last few lines are rather underwhelming and don't really make any jokes. 8/10

    SaneButStrange-Round 2: This verse definitely shows a sheer lack of effort, but that's a good thing here because it's supposed to. The humor unfortunately gets kind of old at this point, but the personality alone makes this verse still enjoyable. 7/10

    GonadTheNomad-Round 2: Very strong opening, with 2 lines that are both pretty good reference jokes. The half a fanfic line is just a reference, not much of a joke, and from then on it's nothing too brilliant. Still enough for the win, although I guess this battle doesn't really seem like the type where either is the true winner since they're both going for different goals. 8/10

    Overall: It's rather hard to look at an overall for this battle because both sides are so different. For Gunnut, I guess just remember that the references can't just be there for the sake of having a reference, they need to make a joke. Not sure what to tell SBS here in terms of advise. This battle is good, and it's fun to read mainlly because of the contrast, but it could be better. 7.5/10

    SaneButStrange's Best Line: Your some guy named Bram Stoker so go away because Game of thrones is coming on
    SaneButStrange's Worst Line: what rhymes with lap, nap, sap hap tap?
    GonadTheNomad's Best Line: Banned for a month but spent 30 seconds on your verse
    GonadTheNomad's Worst Line: I could've done so much more that quick

    Final Results:
    SaneButStrange: 15.5/20
    GonadTheNomad: 16/20

    Total Score: 39/50

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  5. #1365
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Happy Thanksgiving guys. I know I already said it in the awards speech, but really, thanks for reading these. Here's my review of Zeus vs. Thor. Next is Starlin/The Announcer vs Sir Ras of Putin.
    Spoiler: 
    Beat: This beat's actually grown on me a bit. It's really everything I could've hoped for. It's VERY slightly repetitive, but it's still got enough variety in instruments and different parts to keep it interesting. It fits a battle of gods theme really well, and it keeps of season 3's streak of having great beats. There are occasional Washington vs. Wallaces, but in general, ERB has really gotten that beat thing figured out by now. 9.5/10

    Impressions and Costumes: Regarding the voices, I don't like them. They're not flat-out BAD, like Venkman, but they just don't seem to try at all. Greeks and Scandinavians both do have distinctive accents that could've been really cool in this battle. I like the Thor voice more than the Zeus voice, but both certainly could've been better. For costumes, I also like Thor's lego more than Zeus'. Most depictions of Zeus have him showing a bit more skin. Here it looks like he's just wearing a T-shirt. I'll give extra points for costumes because of all the other great costumes for the cameos, but they just could've done better with Zeus' portrayal here in general. 7.5/10

    Zeus-Round 1: The opener sounds cool and intimidating, but it's really not very clever. The phone line is funny, but then the next 2 lines are what I like to call "ear candy", in that they sound cool but aren't that clever. A cross-dressing joke could've been really good, but here's it's just thrown into the middle of a line. There's a nice Medusa reference, while the swan shlong line is a decent pun. There's a strong finish with the Poseidon line and the giant line. Although the "balls" thing was unnecessary, it at least makes for a funny visual joke. 9/10

    Thor-Round 1: "Shape-shifting rapist" is funny but kind of generic. Next 2 lines are pretty basic stuff, but I like the Norse line, and Loki makes it even better. Then the verse has a really good streak of multiple good lines. The next 2 lines are good puns. The Gorgon line is funny, and the Natalie Portman line is a nice sex joke. Kind of reminds me of Marilyn Monroe's opening lines for her second verse. Then there's just some more ear candy. "Clash of the Douches"? Come on, they can do better than that. The Greek line is just a basic insult to all the Greeks that sets up Zeus' mediocre second verse opener. I laughed at the spit line though, so at least it ends on a high note. 9/10

    Zeus-Round 2: The entire first half of this verse is pretty meh. He's just bragging about his Greeks and not really saying anything witty. Luckily, the second half of this verse kicks ass. Really good puns, and the MC Hammer reference is actually good because it has a nice Grease pun. 9/10

    Thor-Round 2: Actually, very much like Zeus, this verse has a boring first half and a really good second half. I guess the line about the sniffles is moderately funny, but the next 2 lines are make no attempt at any jokes whatsoever. Then every line in the second half is awesome. I am so glad I knew about that whole story about Kronos so that line could hit me full force the first time I heard it. That was the biggest laugh of the battle, and it's probably my favorite of the season so far. 9/10

    Zeus-Round 3: The first line is a pretty good set-up line, but it's not a great line on its own. The Loki and lighter line are both really good. It's just the 3rd line that holds this verse back from being that perfect. Unfortunately, that winds up making the difference for me. 9/10

    Thor-Round 3: You know, Zeus' verses were both probably SLIGHTLY better in the first 2 rounds, but Thor still wins because this verse is perfect. Each of these four lines are all clever in their own right. None are excellent, but they're all well above the average. 10/10

    Overall: Not sure where else to put this in the review, but I'm glad they tried this lego thing. It actually makes this video one of the most fun ERBs to watch. Anyway, for the battle itself, it's pretty much as good as I could've hoped for. Lots of great mythical and cultural references, some of them getting really big belly laughs. Like I said, Zeus could've been presented better, but aside from that, season 4 keeps its impressive streak alive. 9/10

    Zeus' Best Line: MC Hammer just got struck twice by greased lightning.
    Zeus' Worst Line: HOW DARE YOU CHALLENGE MY IMMORTAL THRONE
    Thor's Best Line: Now make like your daddy, and swallow my babies!
    Thor's Worst Line: (Allow Thor to retort, you shape-shifting rapist) And get a taste of this Scandinavian greatness.

    Final Results:
    Zeus: 27/30 (equivalent to 18/20)
    Thor: 28/30 (equivalent to 18.6/20)

    Total Score: 81/90 (equivalent to 63/70)

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  6. #1366
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
    Join Date
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    WA, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by HippySamuel View Post
    Here's my review of SaneButStrange vs. Gonadthenomad. Next is Zeus vs. Thor.
    Spoiler: 
    SaneButStrange-Round 1: While I certainly don't understand the rationality of your hate for this battle, this verse is pretty funny. The fluffs are funny, the 2 Beverly Clearly references go an appropriate amount of overboard so that they don't get old, and it never tries too hard to be funny. 8.5/10

    GonadTheNomad-Round 1: Pretty nice opening line, if it is in fact referencing the famous "without the wit" line. If it's not, then it's just a generic insult. A lot of the upcoming lines in this verse are all reference, no joke. Some of them seem even self-dissing, like the balls deep line. The nomad line is funny, but I don't really see the point, as it doesn't seem to be a dis, threat or boast. The stick line is...an OK threat I suppose. The blah line is a decent comparison, but the last few lines are rather underwhelming and don't really make any jokes. 8/10

    SaneButStrange-Round 2: This verse definitely shows a sheer lack of effort, but that's a good thing here because it's supposed to. The humor unfortunately gets kind of old at this point, but the personality alone makes this verse still enjoyable. 7/10

    GonadTheNomad-Round 2: Very strong opening, with 2 lines that are both pretty good reference jokes. The half a fanfic line is just a reference, not much of a joke, and from then on it's nothing too brilliant. Still enough for the win, although I guess this battle doesn't really seem like the type where either is the true winner since they're both going for different goals. 8/10

    Overall: It's rather hard to look at an overall for this battle because both sides are so different. For Gunnut, I guess just remember that the references can't just be there for the sake of having a reference, they need to make a joke. Not sure what to tell SBS here in terms of advise. This battle is good, and it's fun to read mainlly because of the contrast, but it could be better. 7.5/10

    SaneButStrange's Best Line: Your some guy named Bram Stoker so go away because Game of thrones is coming on
    SaneButStrange's Worst Line: what rhymes with lap, nap, sap hap tap?
    GonadTheNomad's Best Line: Banned for a month but spent 30 seconds on your verse
    GonadTheNomad's Worst Line: I could've done so much more that quick

    Final Results:
    SaneButStrange: 15.5/20
    GonadTheNomad: 16/20

    Total Score: 39/50
    Thanks. :3

    I anticipate a similar response on my next REWF, so keep a look out for that.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  7. #1367
    sane's Avatar A Beautiful Sunset at Noon
    Join Date
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    Weed Town
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    Fucking shit .5 <3


    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz View Post
    Good job Sane. You killed the forum.

  8. #1368
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Maryland, United States
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    Blog Entries
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    So since a lot of people seriously want to improve, I'm going to start doing sort of "quickies" on these joke battles so I have more time to get to other people. I'm still fine with reviewing them, but there are other people who probably want to hear my criticisms more. Here's my review of Sir Ras of Putin vs. Starlin. Next is a Lion Royale.
    Spoiler: 
    Sir Ras of Putin: These lines range from kind of clever in a dumb way to just completely stupid in a funny way. 8.5/10

    Starlin: The lack of caps lock gives this verse a pretty funny sense of "i really don't give a shit about this". The lines go well with this theme. 9/10

    Leninsauce: It doesn't start out with too many laughs, but as it reaches the end, the stupid lines do seem to get a bit funnier. 8/10

    some long name gonad wanted starl-lord cant spell: Kind of like Sauce's, this verse doesn't get funny until near the end. Still, it doesn't get quite as many laughs as the other verses. 7.5/10

    Spartino: Funny intro, solid laughs all the way through. Some funny forum references and some references that seem super out of place, which is also funny. 9/10

    Total Score: 42/50

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  9. #1369
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Maryland, United States
    Posts
    7,162
    Blog Entries
    32
    Here's my review of Nutty's Lion Royale. Next is Ash vs. Darwin.
    Spoiler: 
    Arcanine: I like what the first line is going for, I don't like the wording of it. Saying it "should be" justified means it isn't already justified. The second line is good, but the third line's a bit too obvious and the last line is too referenceless. The second verse begins with a rather obvious but still decent line, and a nice Shinx pun in the second line. The third line doesn't really reference anything and the last line seems too much like a compliment. I know it's supposed to be a boast, but saying your opponent has guts doesn't work too well in a rap battle. The yellow line doesn't really make any point. Why exactly is being yellow something to brag about? The Growlithe line is OK, the third line doesn't really attempt any joke, and the last line is kind of...basic I guess. 7.5/10

    Luxray: I kind of like the pun in the first line, but saying your opponent is in luck probably won't scare them that much. The second and third lines are kind of generic (third pun is just too obvious), and the Elemental Fangs line isn't really much of a joke. The first line in the second verse could've made for a pretty good joke, but it's sort of just mentioned here and not joked about. The substitute line is kind of funny, while the last 2 lines aren't really jokes either. The last verse starts with 2 basic insults. While there's a nice little pun in the 3rd line, the last line doesn't seem to have much to it. 7/10

    Pyroar: The introduction is dramatic, but not very clever lyrically. The French thing is kind of cool, but the 2 forms line isn't that clever, and the Moxie line isn't anything too special. The unnerved line is alright, kind of obvious but still OK, while the Flare love isn't much of a joke. The 10,000 degrees line isn't bad while the last line could pretty much be used by any Pokemon against any Pokemon. 8/10

    Cobalion: There are some nice puns in the first line, but the point it's trying to make is kind of foggy. The second line isn't much of a joke, but then this verse picks up. The register in dex line is clever, the berries line is funny and the last line turns a rather obvious joke into a pretty good reference. 9/10

    Entei: The first line is a pretty meh line that could've made for a pretty funny joke or dis. Most of this verse just lacks references. When it does make references, some are good, some are just kind of thrown in there without being joked about, like the Pressure line. 6.5/10

    Overall: This battle's not without its good lines, but rarely do the joke and reference come together to form something really clever. Remember that you want to put a reference in every line, and you need to at least try to make each and every line something that will make people say "OOH" or something. You're not going to hit every time, but there's going to be a lot more of them. 7.5/10

    Arcanine's Best Line: Shinx twice before you rhyme, go back to your yarn ball!
    Arcanine's Worst Line: Excluding the fact that I'm also yellow!
    Luxray's Best Line: And while you're simple, I have Lynx to mythology.
    Luxray's Worst Line: Now it's confirmed your every held item stinks.
    Pyroar's Best Line: Are you not unnerved? Why don't you take a gander?
    Pyroar's Worst Line: From Hoenn to Unova everyone knows you got beat!
    Cobalion's Best Line: Pyroar, your snarls don't register in my dex as scary!
    Cobalion's Worst Line: A couple of flaming posers against Cobalion?!
    Entei's Best Line: I can fight without fleeing, slay without Suicune or Raikou
    Entei's Worst Line: The original legendary Lion is high flyin' without wings

    Final Results:
    Arcanine: 7.5/10 (equivalent to 15/20)
    Luxray: 7/10 (equivalent to 14/20)
    Pyroar: 8/10 (equivalent to 16/20)
    Cobalion: 9/10 (equivalent to 18/20)
    Entei: 6.5/10 (equivalent to 13/20)

    Total Score: 45.5/60 (equivalent to 38/50)

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  10. #1370
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Maryland, United States
    Posts
    7,162
    Blog Entries
    32
    Here's my review of this guy's Ash Ketchum vs. Charles Darwin. Next is Death the Kid vs. Grim.
    Spoiler: 
    Charles Darwin-Round 1: Well the only reference here is the ship one. And the John Wilkes Booth line I guess, but I don't see what he has to do with either of these people at all. 1.5/20

    Ash Ketchum-Round 1: I was shocked by the 10 line because of the fact that this battle actually made a specific reference. Too bad that line sucks. The fish hook line....might be a reference? And maybe the squirter one? 2.5/20

    Total Score: 4/20

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

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