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Thread: Presidential Reviews

  1. #1861
    sane's Avatar A Beautiful Sunset at Noon
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    I've missed this


    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz View Post
    Good job Sane. You killed the forum.

  2. #1862
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's the first part of my review of Wonder Woman vs. Stevie Wonder.
    Spoiler: 
    Beat:
    Relevance-When I tried to imagine it in my head, I almost took off some points for this, since the general tune and instruments that run through the whole thing don't really feel Wonder Woman-y or Stevie Wonder-y, but listening to it again, they actually add little Amazon bongos during Wonder Woman's verses and of course there's that killer brass during Stevie's part. Plus, these two really have nothing in common aside from the names, so I don't really know if a beat that perfectly encapsulates both of them the whole time could possibly exist. I applaud them for their commitment here.2.5/2.5
    Catchiness-It's not super catchy to me, aside from the brass in Stevie Wonder's first verse. 1.75/2.5
    Intensity-I know I keep bringing up the brass, but it really is awesome and adds intensity. Other than that part, it doesn't really get me too hyped up. 2/2.5
    Variety-As I mentioned before, they did a great job of spicing up what otherwise would've been a fairly "meh" beat. It also changes up every verse, not just when the different rappers are going, so I have to give full points here. 2.5/2.5
    Overall: I really appreciate that someone (probably Peter) must have listened to the original beat and thought "this is okay, but it could be way better" and then added the extra touches. Not an AMAZING beat, but not much to criticize. 8.75/10

    Costumes:
    Wonder Woman-They had a lot of options to choose from here, and I have no problems with the design they went with. The blue hair tint is pretty cool. Full Points
    Stevie Wonder-I guess T-Pain wasn't winning to shave his beard. I can't give it a full pass, but he's a decently big-name celebrity and if that was his only demand, then I think you gotta take that deal. -0.5 Points
    Extras-The effect for "nine different kids with five different mothers" is awesome. I don't even care if Lilly doesn't look exactly like all of them, it's funnier this way anyway. Full Points

    Impressions:
    Wonder Woman-She doesn't really attempt a Gal Gadot impression, but I think Wonder Woman, like Superman or Ash, is one of those characters that's had so many different voices over the years that I'm not going to critique them for just letting Lilly be herself. I know some people didn't like what she did with the character and find her annoying, but I think she's fun to watch in this battle and I have no problems with her portrayal. Full Points
    Stevie Wonder-T-Pain is extremely entertaining in this. I love the decision to have him never look at the camera. It's not a dead ringer, but it sounds enough like him.Full Points

    Wonder Woman's First Verse:
    Wonder Woman fly, I'm about to tell you why
    Okay for a set-up. At least there's a pun.
    Princess Diana, but this Lady don't die
    Clever.
    My rhymes are signed, sealed, and delivered on time
    You're a bald has-been, I'm in my Amazon Prime
    Really great reference mixing here.
    I tell you what I say, you bit your style from Ray!
    Nice subtle "What'd I say" reference.
    The grin and the shades and the king cobra head sway
    Okay, but probably could've been a better Ray Charles reference.
    Gods made me out of clay, then they broke the mold
    I like the wordplay here.
    I'm like Geena Davis, in a Justice League of my Own (Ow!)
    Pretty good as far as Justice League references could go.
    I Just Called to Say that you need to ditch the hair beads
    Good set-up.
    Lookin' like the Predator after some chemotherapy (Ha!)
    Kind of a basic insult, but it is accurate and funny.
    But don't be scared, I let bats down easy
    So you don't gotta worry 'bout a thing, little Stevie
    I'm a little confused as to exactly what she's saying here. It feels sort of like the opposite of a threat? Nevertheless, the references are clever.

    Verse Overview: Very little fluff, and some really great uses of references here. 9.25.

    Stevie Wonder's First Verse:
    I feel like this is the beginning (Ohhh...)
    But you have sucked for a few thousand years
    Not the most brilliant joke in the world, but it sounds awesome and it's funny.
    I'm a man who comes from a higher ground (Whoo!)
    And I'd say DC is a whole step down
    I love the subtle music reference. Good shit.
    I've been spitting out hits since both Fingertips
    So use the tip of your fingers and read my lips
    Really good. And sounds great with the brass
    Now how you gonna talk about a bat being blind?
    You need to echo-relocate to the 4th of July
    Pretty good.
    Because you're Miss Independent, or at least you try
    But your first story is you running off with a guy
    An example of how to do a fact statey line right. Sets it up in a way that just mentioning it really feels like an "oh shit" moment.
    Now let me tell the truth 'cause I know you got the lasso
    Good set-up.
    You got that wack flow, Sufferin' Sappho!
    Set-up is actually better than the punchline. It's not awful, but the Sufferin' Sappho reference feels a little wasted.
    I'm the ceremony master, blaster with the bars
    Just a step above filler.
    And I got more Grammys than your panties got stars
    I'm not super into this insult, since "Your panties have a lot of stars on them" isn't really a compelling insult to me. But I guess it's not the worst way of having Stevie boast about all his Grammys. And from the whole "you're a fake feminist icon" angle, I guess it can be viewed as a dig at Wonder Woman's costume. So I'd still call it a good line.

    Verse Overview: Very hard-hitting and clever for the most part. Also a 9.25, though it's a slightly lower 9.25 than Wonder Woman's first verse.

    Wonder Woman's Second Verse:
    Well, I'm a Woman who wonders what you're thinking
    Pretty simple, but not bad.
    Some of your records make me wish you started drinking
    An okay reference to Stevie's Teetotalism
    Even if I stick to the best selections
    Your YouTube videos raise some vision questions
    I absolutely love the double meaning here. And the visual gag is subtle and awesome.

    Verse Overview: Only one really great line at the end, but the rest is fine. 8.25-8.5.

    Stevie Wonder's Second Verse
    Your ignorant questions could never cause as much pain
    As never knowing how stupid you look in your airplane
    I love how they handled this joke. It's one of those lines that (unless they for some reason decided to put a different blind person against WW) is so specific to the two characters in the battle that it just feels perfect.
    You're a misguided, C-minus-on-the-Bechdel-Test joke
    I like the reference to the Bechdel Test, and this line flows well, but it's not super clever.
    And my worst song is better than your best TV show
    Basic insult.

    Verse Overview: Like Wonder Woman's second verse, only one great line, but otherwise doesn't quite hit back hard enough. 8.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  3. #1863
    Glad to see you review this one. I feel like some dismiss this battle because of the matchup, but lyrically it's really good. Subjectively, this is my second favourite battle they ever made (behind Newton vs Nye).
    I made "Eye of the Spider"...that's my contribution to the internet. What's yours?

  4. #1864
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's the second part of my review of Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder.
    Spoiler: 
    Wonder Woman's Third Verse:
    Look, I don't wanna judge a Talking Book by its cover
    Good set up.
    But of the vegan buffet, you're a Full Time Lover
    One of the best fat jokes in the series, I'd imagine.
    And a part-time father, from what I've discovered
    Nine different kids with five different mothers
    Fact statey, but the "part-time father" pun makes it worth it.

    Verse Overview: Strong finish. 9.

    Stevie Wonder's Third Verse:
    You couldn't walk in my shoes, so stick to your reboots
    I really really like the very subtle "shoes-boots" pun.
    With plots so thin even I could see through
    Definitely the most "OOOOH SHIT" moment in the battle, as the comment section will attest to. Probably the funniest line in the battle as well. T-Pain's delivery is awesome too.
    It's not a superstition, I believe you got dissed
    Not exactly what the word "superstition" means, but it works well enough.
    Not even your tiara's coming back from this! (Yeah!) Haha!
    Pretty solid finisher, I like this pun.

    Verse Overview: The first two lines are awesome, the last two lines are pretty good. I'd say a 9.75, 10 if I'm being generous.

    Ungraded Stuff:
    Idea: My stance on random name based match-ups is I'm okay with them as long as they A. only happen once in a while, B. consist of two people with oddly similar names (not broad stuff like John Adams vs. John Legend), and C. are funny. Like, a stupid kind of funny. When I first heard that ERB was doing Wonder Woman vs. Stevie Wonder, I laughed, the same way I laughed when I first saw an ERB titled "Genghis Khan vs Easter Bunny". I think ERB is smart enough to know how and when to do things like this. Therefore, I approve of this match-up.
    Presentation: The editing in this battle is really strong. WW's verses particularly have some awesome visual effects going on. Stevie's verses are a little more bland and colorless, but it contrasts well with the brightness of WW's backgrounds, and T-Pain is entertaining enough to watch that it doesn't really feel like too much is lacking. Could use a little more pizzazz but there's still some really good stuff in this battle's presentation.

    Overall Battle: A part of me wonders if ERB sorta thought "Ok this connection is really stupid so we gotta make sure the lyrics are especially good", because there's just a ton of subtlety and very little filler in this battle. None of this flaws are at all glaring or distracting to me. It's a ton of fun, sounds great, and is lyrically a slam dunk.

    Wonder Woman's Best Line: Your YouTube videos raise some vision questions
    Probably WW's most hard-hitting line in the battle, and the visual gag especially puts it over the top for me. Honorable mentions are Amazon Prime and the Part Time Lover references in the third verse.
    Stevie Wonder's Best Line: With plots so thin even I could see through
    It's not like this one probably took especially long to write or think of, but it's too perfect. Honorable mention is DC.

    Wonder Woman Overall Score: 18.5/20
    Stevie Wonder Overall Score: 18.5/20

    Winner: Wonder Wonder
    This is the first time I can remember in my reviews (maybe it happened a couple times back in the day) where I actually had to do a recount because the score was so INSANELY close. I went back and forth for a while, and almost just said "fuck it" and gave it to Stevie since he has more "oh shit" factor, but I actually think Wonder Woman edges this one out by just a bit. In most other battles, Stevie Wonder would've been the clear winner, but this one is so strong that it really just comes down to who did more with the short amount of time they had, and for me Wonder Woman wasted less time and used references slightly more effectively. I do think that the "plots so thin" line is the best in the battle though.

    Total Score: 55.25/60, 92%, A-
    Last edited by Samos; 01-25-2019 at 03:17 PM.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  5. #1865
    sane's Avatar A Beautiful Sunset at Noon
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    Wonder vs Wonder is one of the best imo


    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz View Post
    Good job Sane. You killed the forum.

  6. #1866
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    If you've been able to see it review Season 1 of Daredevil.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it

  7. #1867
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    I know I still have a couple other things on the list, but I figured I'd give Wolverine vs Freddy a review while it's still fresh in everyone's minds.
    Spoiler: 
    Beat:
    Relevance-I didn't really think "Freddy Krueger and Wolverine" when I first heard the beat in the ERB Season 6 trailer a couple months back, but I gotta say it really works for these two, especially with the additional instruments and choral voices in the second half. The vibe of this match-up is "badass", but it's also got a little bit of "danger" to it. I think this beat really captures both of those characteristics pretty well. 2.5/2.5
    Catchiness-The general 8-note pattern that plays throughout most of the song is pretty earworm-y. The choral parts aren't super melodic but they're still fairly memorable. I think it could just benefit from a tiny bit more in the note range, just so it feels a little less repetitive. 2.25/2.5
    Intensity-Starting to rethink this subcategory, since "intensity" isn't super necessary for every match-up they do. Or maybe I'll just change it to "epicness" since that's a little broader? Either way, this beat has no problems whatsoever in this regard. 2.5/2.5
    Variety-The aforementioned 8-note pattern is a little repetitive I suppose, but they do a lot to spice up the instrumentals throughout the sequence of the battle. I also feel like the lack of note range makes it feel smaller than it could have been if they just added a couple more melodies. 2.25/5
    Overall: One of the best parts of the battle for sure. I don't know if it's quite one of my all time favorite beats but it definitely makes the battle a lot more fun to listen to. 9.5/10

    Costumes:
    Freddy Krueger-I'm not a fan of this mask. It's too limiting to the facial expressions. The eyes and the mouth are really critical for conveying emotion in any acting performance, and Wax just feels too limited here in what his face. I can see why someone would say it's creepier this way, but for me it'd be way creepier if he was more lifelike. Now, to be totally fair, I have never seen a full Freddy Krueger movie, I just looked up some clips to see what his face looks like when he talks, so maybe I'm offbase and this captures his vibe better than I realize. But for my money, I would've preferred either make-up or a more flexible mask. The rest of the costume is good, no problems. -1.75 Points
    Wolverine-I love what they did for Wolvie. They could have gone with either the tank top or the yellow X-suit, and they picked the right choice: both of them! More variety always makes a battle more visually appealing. The white contacts and the fangs are also really awesome little details. I wasn't a super comic fan or a super Hugh Jackman fan growing up, but it seems to me like they satisfied both groups (which is respectable on Lloyd's part since he apparently hates Hugh Jackman's Wolverine). Full Points
    Extras-Jason and Scissorhands both look awesome, and are great choices for cameos. Full Points

    Impressions:
    Freddy Krueger-He's had a couple different voices over the years. The one Wax went with is great from my end. He sounds scary and sadistic. Full Points
    Wolverine-Wolverine's also had a number of different iterations and voices, and Lloyd's voice he goes with works great for me. His facial expressions are also really good. Full Points

    Freddy Krueger's First Verse:
    1, 2, Freddy's coming for you
    3, 4, better lock your- lock your- lock your- lock your-
    How do I feel about this? I mean, I think it's cool. I'm glad it's there, I would rather this little intro be there than not be there. In theory I wish they had done some sort of joke with this reference rather than just throwing it in there, but it almost doesn't feel like part of the verse. And the way it loops at the end is at least some sort of twist on it. I don't know.
    Welcome to prime time, bitch! Better stay awake like a meth head
    I guess this works as an intro line. At least better than a reference-less filler line would.
    Spread red on your bedspread till you're lying there on your death bed
    Works as a threat I suppose. Wordplay is decent.
    You got a healing factor? I got a kill bitches on the ceiling factor
    Very blunt. Which I guess makes sense for Freddy's character, but I'd prefer something a little more creative.
    Under that mask, you're a singer/actor. Under my skin, I'm a slasher/slasher
    I like this one. It's funny and flows pretty well.
    Bitch! I come from Wes Craven's twisted mind
    You come from comic books that kids get when they're well behaved at Christmas time
    Works okay as a comparison line. Wax's delivery also makes this feel like more of a real punch.
    Flock of Seagulls called: they want their hair style returned
    I'd never heard of Flock of Seagulls before so this didn't really land for me. If they're like a huge band and I'm just not culturally literate then that's on me, but I think they could've done something a little more mainstream.
    And that wasn't even my main diss, it was just a side burn
    I like the pun. This isn't really much of an insult, it's more just stating that he has side burns, but I guess the delivery implies that the side burns look stupid. Still, probably could've done something better.

    Verse Overview: There's effort, but none of these jokes really hit perfect bullseyes. The only one I really like is the singer/actor line, and even that one isn't really a huge burn or anything. It sorta feels like they're sacrificing clever writing for personality, which I'm fine with to an extent, but I think they sacrificed a little too much here. That said, there's almost no filler, which may not seem like a huge accomplishment but noticeable effort goes a long way with me, and there is noticeable effort in this verse. I'd give it somewhere between a 7.75-8.25.

    Wolverine's First Verse:
    Nice glove, bub, but I'm real from bones to teeth
    And that claw's like a strap on: there's a pussy underneath
    Good shit. These two lines together work better than either would on their own. Pretty skillful way for Wolvie to point out "my body's made of steel, you just have a glove". Honestly, this is the first true-blue "ooh shit" moment of the battle.
    Don't sleep? That's all you got for me?
    Could defeat your ass with a cup of tea
    Not super clever but a solid way to point out Freddy's weakness.
    I been to hell and back and whooped Satan's ass
    You got beat by a Nancy on Elm Street
    Also a line that works way better with the set-up than it would without. "I've been to hell and back and whooped Satan's ass" is a little fact statey (though it is making use of the phrase "to hell and back"), but when you couple it with the fact that Freddy got beat by a teenage girl, it makes Wolvie's feat sound way more badass and Freddy's DEfeat sound way more pathetic.
    You wanna talk about burns, mac?
    The PTA turned your face into Deadpool's ballsack
    Probably could've been a better line about Freddy's burns (in fact there IS a better one in Wolvie's second verse) but this still lands pretty well.
    Wrapped in a Where's Waldo? sweater
    Heh
    Jason can't talk and he rocks the mic better
    I'm surprised this actually seems to be the line people in the comments are freaking out the most over. It's pretty good but it's not super genius or anything. Atul's little shuffling in the visuals definitely helps this one out.
    So step into my catnap, see if you can hack that, better hang on to your wack hat
    Flow is awesome here.
    'Cause your worst nightmare ain't Hugh Jack shit compared to the least of my Weapon X flashbacks
    Really solid reference mixing. And the visuals also provide a solid assist on this one.
    I'm the adamantium champion X-man
    You'll only ever be half of Edward Scissorhands
    Mentioning Edward Scissorhands' name alone is funny, especially with the Peter cameo, but I didn't realize until looking at the rap meanings that this also points out in a subtle but really clever way that he only has one claw-hand. I love it.
    So don't get me more pissed, chump.
    I'll take your whole franchise out with a fist bump
    Not a bad line but unsatisfying for a finisher.

    Verse Overview: This verse is a lot more...persuasive on review than I realized. What I mean by that is Wolverine actually does a really great job in this verse from an argumentative standpoint of making the case that he's more badass than Freddy. Like Freddy's first verse, there's not an abundant amount of "ooh shit" here, but when you look into how the lines are crafted you see that it's pretty intelligently written. I'd probably give it a solid 9.


    Second half coming shortly. This is a fun one to analyze
    Last edited by Samos; 04-21-2019 at 11:21 PM.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  8. #1868
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Second half of Freddy vs Wolverine review.
    Spoiler: 
    Freddy Krueger's Second Verse:
    Look at the size of your body! How could I possibly think I'm in trouble?
    I can't tell the difference between your action figure and your stunt double
    Amusing.
    What's the matter, you look tired, eh?
    I'll be in your bed tonight, unlike Jean Grey
    I like this joke. It's a little on the obvious side, but not so obvious that it needs anything else to make it work. Freddy kills people in bed, Wolvie wants to sleep with Jean Grey, I think it works.
    As for me, I'm a chick magnet
    So heavy metal bitches are real attracted
    I thought this was pretty stupid when I first heard the audio, but it works with the visuals I suppose. I do find the idea that Wolverine's worst nightmare is a giant magnet pretty funny. The double-meaning on "heavy metal bitches" is also funny.
    What the fuck's a wolverine? Some kind of an angry beaver?
    If this is an "Angry Beavers" reference, it feels a little random. This one doesn't really work for me.
    I was more intimidated by a tiny Canadian the first time I saw Justin Bieber
    I mean...yeah, I guess, Wolverine and Justin Bieber are both short Canadians, that's something. I don't hate it but I don't absolutely love it.

    Verse Overview: It's like a minor step up from Freddy's first verse. Again, there's effort but nothing really stands out as super great lyrically. I'd say like an 8.25 to an 8.5.

    Wolverine's Second Verse:
    That verse stung, bub, but I've already recovered
    I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a pet peeve of mine when one rapper compliments the other (especially when Freddy's last verse wasn't that great). Still, I more or less like what this is going for. It's a rather clever way for Wolvie to boast that there's nothing Freddy can really do to hurt him.
    I'll call you tomorrow morning if I need my toast buttered
    Funny.
    I ain't got time for this, I'm saving the world, What qualities do you bring?
    You're a pedophile from the Midwest, at least R. Kelly could sing
    This is a way better pop culture reference than the Justin Bieber one. Honestly, it probably would've landed better if we didn't just get the Bieber joke. Either way, I think this one works better because R. Kelly is in the news right now, which to be fair could mean the joke will be dated in the future, but I don't really care, funny joke is funny joke.
    So you got the wrong room if you're looking for fear
    Only thing that scares me is a fridge with no beer
    I like this. I guess I'm more willing to forgive a rather pointless line if it's character-driven.
    That face tells me you've met your match
    This is the "better joke about Freddy's face burns" line I mentioned in the first verse. This is pretty subtle and clever.
    But come back if you've got another itch to scratch
    Not the strongest finisher, but it's decent enough that it doesn't feel anticlimatic.

    Verse Overview: Unlike Freddy's verse, which attempts a lot of big jokes that are fairly hit-or-miss, this verse is pretty unambitious. The R. Kelly joke aside, it's mostly just Wolvie telling Freddy he's not scared of him in a bunch of different ways, most of them at least somewhat funny. Still, feels like a step down from Wolvie's first verse. Like an 8.5-8.75

    Ungraded Stuff:
    Idea-I was iffy on this one at first but I came around to it. It's not the strongest connection, but the characters feel right together. Like I said, I like the "badass and dangerous" vibes I get from it.
    Visuals-Really great stuff. Quite possibly one of my favorite vids they've ever done to be honest. This battle didn't really need to be that cinematic, but I'm really glad they went with the direction they did, ESPECIALLY in the second two verses. Gives me really high hopes for the action we're gonna get in season 6.

    Overall Battle: Lyrically, this battle is a little lacking for me. It feels like ERB is usually able to get a few more "ooh shit" lyrics in than they were able to in this one. That said, just about everything else is great. In the end, the battle looks and sounds great, and that makes up for the flaws in my book.

    Freddy Krueger's Best Line: Under that mask, you're a singer/actor. Under my skin, I'm a slasher/slasher
    Freddy's verses felt a little bit fanmade to be honest. Mind you, I love a lot of fanmade battles, but in general it feels like with a lot of them, even when there's a lot of effort (and I maintain that there is a lot of effort in Freddy's verses), the best lines just feel "good", and don't really leave the impact that the best ERB lines are able to leave. I like this slasher/slasher line but in most battles it would not be my choice for "best line" from anyone. Honorable mentions are stunt double and Jean Grey.
    Wolverine's Best Line: And that claw's like a strap on, there's a pussy underneath
    Wolverine's verses also suffer from some of the same problems Freddy's do, but in general his "best" lines are a lot funnier and more clever. Honorable mentions are Weapon X, R. Kelly, and met your match.

    Freddy Krueger's Overall Score: 16.5/20, 82.5%, B-
    Wolverine's Overall Score: 17.5/20, 87.5%, B+

    Winner: Wolverine
    Only one point? That's closer than I thought it would end up when I finished calculating my scores. I guess it just feels more one-sided because Wolvie got way more lines for some reason. Plus now that I do 0.25 margins for my reviews that means Wolvie was still a solid four reviewing units better than Freddy.

    Total Score: 51.25/60, 85.5%, B

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  9. #1869
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    Interesting that you didn't feel the Flock of Seagulls line because you thought it was too obscure - I actually didn't like it because I've heard the exact same comparison made a bunch of times before. I mostly agree otherwise other than finding a few lines a little more/less clever.


    Who won?

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    EpicLLOYD

  10. #1870
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Hat View Post
    Interesting that you didn't feel the Flock of Seagulls line because you thought it was too obscure - I actually didn't like it because I've heard the exact same comparison made a bunch of times before. I mostly agree otherwise other than finding a few lines a little more/less clever.
    That’s interesting, I’m really not super knowledgeable on the music world in general so I really had no idea what to make of that line. Either way, it doesn’t sound like too many people were super impressed with the joke, so I don’t think it would’ve affected my scoring too much had I known about them and gotten the full impact of the punchline.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

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