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Thread: Presidential Reviews

  1. #1861
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    I know I still have a couple other things on the list, but I figured I'd give Wolverine vs Freddy a review while it's still fresh in everyone's minds.
    Spoiler: 
    Beat:
    Relevance-I didn't really think "Freddy Krueger and Wolverine" when I first heard the beat in the ERB Season 6 trailer a couple months back, but I gotta say it really works for these two, especially with the additional instruments and choral voices in the second half. The vibe of this match-up is "badass", but it's also got a little bit of "danger" to it. I think this beat really captures both of those characteristics pretty well. 2.5/2.5
    Catchiness-The general 8-note pattern that plays throughout most of the song is pretty earworm-y. The choral parts aren't super melodic but they're still fairly memorable. I think it could just benefit from a tiny bit more in the note range, just so it feels a little less repetitive. 2.25/2.5
    Intensity-Starting to rethink this subcategory, since "intensity" isn't super necessary for every match-up they do. Or maybe I'll just change it to "epicness" since that's a little broader? Either way, this beat has no problems whatsoever in this regard. 2.5/2.5
    Variety-The aforementioned 8-note pattern is a little repetitive I suppose, but they do a lot to spice up the instrumentals throughout the sequence of the battle. I also feel like the lack of note range makes it feel smaller than it could have been if they just added a couple more melodies. 2.25/5
    Overall: One of the best parts of the battle for sure. I don't know if it's quite one of my all time favorite beats but it definitely makes the battle a lot more fun to listen to. 9.5/10

    Costumes:
    Freddy Krueger-I'm not a fan of this mask. It's too limiting to the facial expressions. The eyes and the mouth are really critical for conveying emotion in any acting performance, and Wax just feels too limited here in what his face. I can see why someone would say it's creepier this way, but for me it'd be way creepier if he was more lifelike. Now, to be totally fair, I have never seen a full Freddy Krueger movie, I just looked up some clips to see what his face looks like when he talks, so maybe I'm offbase and this captures his vibe better than I realize. But for my money, I would've preferred either make-up or a more flexible mask. The rest of the costume is good, no problems. -1.75 Points
    Wolverine-I love what they did for Wolvie. They could have gone with either the tank top or the yellow X-suit, and they picked the right choice: both of them! More variety always makes a battle more visually appealing. The white contacts and the fangs are also really awesome little details. I wasn't a super comic fan or a super Hugh Jackman fan growing up, but it seems to me like they satisfied both groups (which is respectable on Lloyd's part since he apparently hates Hugh Jackman's Wolverine). Full Points
    Extras-Jason and Scissorhands both look awesome, and are great choices for cameos. Full Points

    Impressions:
    Freddy Krueger-He's had a couple different voices over the years. The one Wax went with is great from my end. He sounds scary and sadistic. Full Points
    Wolverine-Wolverine's also had a number of different iterations and voices, and Lloyd's voice he goes with works great for me. His facial expressions are also really good. Full Points

    Freddy Krueger's First Verse:
    1, 2, Freddy's coming for you
    3, 4, better lock your- lock your- lock your- lock your-
    How do I feel about this? I mean, I think it's cool. I'm glad it's there, I would rather this little intro be there than not be there. In theory I wish they had done some sort of joke with this reference rather than just throwing it in there, but it almost doesn't feel like part of the verse. And the way it loops at the end is at least some sort of twist on it. I don't know.
    Welcome to prime time, bitch! Better stay awake like a meth head
    I guess this works as an intro line. At least better than a reference-less filler line would.
    Spread red on your bedspread till you're lying there on your death bed
    Works as a threat I suppose. Wordplay is decent.
    You got a healing factor? I got a kill bitches on the ceiling factor
    Very blunt. Which I guess makes sense for Freddy's character, but I'd prefer something a little more creative.
    Under that mask, you're a singer/actor. Under my skin, I'm a slasher/slasher
    I like this one. It's funny and flows pretty well.
    Bitch! I come from Wes Craven's twisted mind
    You come from comic books that kids get when they're well behaved at Christmas time
    Works okay as a comparison line. Wax's delivery also makes this feel like more of a real punch.
    Flock of Seagulls called: they want their hair style returned
    I'd never heard of Flock of Seagulls before so this didn't really land for me. If they're like a huge band and I'm just not culturally literate then that's on me, but I think they could've done something a little more mainstream.
    And that wasn't even my main diss, it was just a side burn
    I like the pun. This isn't really much of an insult, it's more just stating that he has side burns, but I guess the delivery implies that the side burns look stupid. Still, probably could've done something better.

    Verse Overview: There's effort, but none of these jokes really hit perfect bullseyes. The only one I really like is the singer/actor line, and even that one isn't really a huge burn or anything. It sorta feels like they're sacrificing clever writing for personality, which I'm fine with to an extent, but I think they sacrificed a little too much here. That said, there's almost no filler, which may not seem like a huge accomplishment but noticeable effort goes a long way with me, and there is noticeable effort in this verse. I'd give it somewhere between a 7.75-8.25.

    Wolverine's First Verse:
    Nice glove, bub, but I'm real from bones to teeth
    And that claw's like a strap on: there's a pussy underneath
    Good shit. These two lines together work better than either would on their own. Pretty skillful way for Wolvie to point out "my body's made of steel, you just have a glove". Honestly, this is the first true-blue "ooh shit" moment of the battle.
    Don't sleep? That's all you got for me?
    Could defeat your ass with a cup of tea
    Not super clever but a solid way to point out Freddy's weakness.
    I been to hell and back and whooped Satan's ass
    You got beat by a Nancy on Elm Street
    Also a line that works way better with the set-up than it would without. "I've been to hell and back and whooped Satan's ass" is a little fact statey (though it is making use of the phrase "to hell and back"), but when you couple it with the fact that Freddy got beat by a teenage girl, it makes Wolvie's feat sound way more badass and Freddy's DEfeat sound way more pathetic.
    You wanna talk about burns, mac?
    The PTA turned your face into Deadpool's ballsack
    Probably could've been a better line about Freddy's burns (in fact there IS a better one in Wolvie's second verse) but this still lands pretty well.
    Wrapped in a Where's Waldo? sweater
    Heh
    Jason can't talk and he rocks the mic better
    I'm surprised this actually seems to be the line people in the comments are freaking out the most over. It's pretty good but it's not super genius or anything. Atul's little shuffling in the visuals definitely helps this one out.
    So step into my catnap, see if you can hack that, better hang on to your wack hat
    Flow is awesome here.
    'Cause your worst nightmare ain't Hugh Jack shit compared to the least of my Weapon X flashbacks
    Really solid reference mixing. And the visuals also provide a solid assist on this one.
    I'm the adamantium champion X-man
    You'll only ever be half of Edward Scissorhands
    Mentioning Edward Scissorhands' name alone is funny, especially with the Peter cameo, but I didn't realize until looking at the rap meanings that this also points out in a subtle but really clever way that he only has one claw-hand. I love it.
    So don't get me more pissed, chump.
    I'll take your whole franchise out with a fist bump
    Not a bad line but unsatisfying for a finisher.

    Verse Overview: This verse is a lot more...persuasive on review than I realized. What I mean by that is Wolverine actually does a really great job in this verse from an argumentative standpoint of making the case that he's more badass than Freddy. Like Freddy's first verse, there's not an abundant amount of "ooh shit" here, but when you look into how the lines are crafted you see that it's pretty intelligently written. I'd probably give it a solid 9.


    Second half coming shortly. This is a fun one to analyze
    Last edited by Samos; 04-21-2019 at 11:21 PM.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  2. #1862
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Second half of Freddy vs Wolverine review.
    Spoiler: 
    Freddy Krueger's Second Verse:
    Look at the size of your body! How could I possibly think I'm in trouble?
    I can't tell the difference between your action figure and your stunt double
    Amusing.
    What's the matter, you look tired, eh?
    I'll be in your bed tonight, unlike Jean Grey
    I like this joke. It's a little on the obvious side, but not so obvious that it needs anything else to make it work. Freddy kills people in bed, Wolvie wants to sleep with Jean Grey, I think it works.
    As for me, I'm a chick magnet
    So heavy metal bitches are real attracted
    I thought this was pretty stupid when I first heard the audio, but it works with the visuals I suppose. I do find the idea that Wolverine's worst nightmare is a giant magnet pretty funny. The double-meaning on "heavy metal bitches" is also funny.
    What the fuck's a wolverine? Some kind of an angry beaver?
    If this is an "Angry Beavers" reference, it feels a little random. This one doesn't really work for me.
    I was more intimidated by a tiny Canadian the first time I saw Justin Bieber
    I mean...yeah, I guess, Wolverine and Justin Bieber are both short Canadians, that's something. I don't hate it but I don't absolutely love it.

    Verse Overview: It's like a minor step up from Freddy's first verse. Again, there's effort but nothing really stands out as super great lyrically. I'd say like an 8.25 to an 8.5.

    Wolverine's Second Verse:
    That verse stung, bub, but I've already recovered
    I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a pet peeve of mine when one rapper compliments the other (especially when Freddy's last verse wasn't that great). Still, I more or less like what this is going for. It's a rather clever way for Wolvie to boast that there's nothing Freddy can really do to hurt him.
    I'll call you tomorrow morning if I need my toast buttered
    Funny.
    I ain't got time for this, I'm saving the world, What qualities do you bring?
    You're a pedophile from the Midwest, at least R. Kelly could sing
    This is a way better pop culture reference than the Justin Bieber one. Honestly, it probably would've landed better if we didn't just get the Bieber joke. Either way, I think this one works better because R. Kelly is in the news right now, which to be fair could mean the joke will be dated in the future, but I don't really care, funny joke is funny joke.
    So you got the wrong room if you're looking for fear
    Only thing that scares me is a fridge with no beer
    I like this. I guess I'm more willing to forgive a rather pointless line if it's character-driven.
    That face tells me you've met your match
    This is the "better joke about Freddy's face burns" line I mentioned in the first verse. This is pretty subtle and clever.
    But come back if you've got another itch to scratch
    Not the strongest finisher, but it's decent enough that it doesn't feel anticlimatic.

    Verse Overview: Unlike Freddy's verse, which attempts a lot of big jokes that are fairly hit-or-miss, this verse is pretty unambitious. The R. Kelly joke aside, it's mostly just Wolvie telling Freddy he's not scared of him in a bunch of different ways, most of them at least somewhat funny. Still, feels like a step down from Wolvie's first verse. Like an 8.5-8.75

    Ungraded Stuff:
    Idea-I was iffy on this one at first but I came around to it. It's not the strongest connection, but the characters feel right together. Like I said, I like the "badass and dangerous" vibes I get from it.
    Visuals-Really great stuff. Quite possibly one of my favorite vids they've ever done to be honest. This battle didn't really need to be that cinematic, but I'm really glad they went with the direction they did, ESPECIALLY in the second two verses. Gives me really high hopes for the action we're gonna get in season 6.

    Overall Battle: Lyrically, this battle is a little lacking for me. It feels like ERB is usually able to get a few more "ooh shit" lyrics in than they were able to in this one. That said, just about everything else is great. In the end, the battle looks and sounds great, and that makes up for the flaws in my book.

    Freddy Krueger's Best Line: Under that mask, you're a singer/actor. Under my skin, I'm a slasher/slasher
    Freddy's verses felt a little bit fanmade to be honest. Mind you, I love a lot of fanmade battles, but in general it feels like with a lot of them, even when there's a lot of effort (and I maintain that there is a lot of effort in Freddy's verses), the best lines just feel "good", and don't really leave the impact that the best ERB lines are able to leave. I like this slasher/slasher line but in most battles it would not be my choice for "best line" from anyone. Honorable mentions are stunt double and Jean Grey.
    Wolverine's Best Line: And that claw's like a strap on, there's a pussy underneath
    Wolverine's verses also suffer from some of the same problems Freddy's do, but in general his "best" lines are a lot funnier and more clever. Honorable mentions are Weapon X, R. Kelly, and met your match.

    Freddy Krueger's Overall Score: 16.5/20, 82.5%, B-
    Wolverine's Overall Score: 17.5/20, 87.5%, B+

    Winner: Wolverine
    Only one point? That's closer than I thought it would end up when I finished calculating my scores. I guess it just feels more one-sided because Wolvie got way more lines for some reason. Plus now that I do 0.25 margins for my reviews that means Wolvie was still a solid four reviewing units better than Freddy.

    Total Score: 51.25/60, 85.5%, B

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  3. #1863
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    Interesting that you didn't feel the Flock of Seagulls line because you thought it was too obscure - I actually didn't like it because I've heard the exact same comparison made a bunch of times before. I mostly agree otherwise other than finding a few lines a little more/less clever.


    Who won?

    Spoiler: 
    Bill O'Reilly
    Hitler
    Abraham Lincoln
    Sarah Palin
    Kim Jong-il
    Beethoven
    Einstein
    Genghis Khan
    Bonaparte
    Benjamin Franklin
    Dumbledore
    Dr. Seuss
    Mr. T
    Columbus
    EpicLloyd
    Hitler
    Master Chief
    Wright Bros
    Elvis Presley
    Marilyn Monroe
    Steve Jobs
    Freddie Mercury
    Barack Obama
    Doc Brown
    Clint Eastwood
    Sherlock Holmes
    Moses
    Eve
    Gandhi
    Edison
    Babe Ruth
    Mozart
    Gorbachev
    Darth Vader
    Al Capone
    Joan of Arc
    Bob Ross
    Michael Jordan
    JP Morgan
    Rick Grimes
    Superman
    Stephen King
    Sir Isaac Newton
    William Wallace
    Artists
    Stay Puft
    Bonnie and Clyde
    Zeus
    Hannibal Lecter
    Oprah Winfrey
    Quentin Tarantino
    Lewis and Clark
    David Copperfield
    RoboCop
    Eastern Philosophers (Confucius)
    Julius Caesar
    Stan Lee
    Boba Fett
    JRR Tolkien
    Gordon Ramsay
    Frederick Douglass
    Sean Connery
    Bruce Banner
    Frederick the Great
    Donald Trump
    Charles Darwin
    Wonder Woman
    Tony Hawk
    Theodore Roosevelt
    EpicLLOYD

  4. #1864
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Hat View Post
    Interesting that you didn't feel the Flock of Seagulls line because you thought it was too obscure - I actually didn't like it because I've heard the exact same comparison made a bunch of times before. I mostly agree otherwise other than finding a few lines a little more/less clever.
    That’s interesting, I’m really not super knowledgeable on the music world in general so I really had no idea what to make of that line. Either way, it doesn’t sound like too many people were super impressed with the joke, so I don’t think it would’ve affected my scoring too much had I known about them and gotten the full impact of the punchline.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  5. #1865
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    I think the Flock of Seagulls joke is funny

  6. #1866
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Let's do Guy Fawkes vs Che Guevara. First part here
    Spoiler: 
    Beat:
    Relevance-I can't quite put my finger on why this works, and it certainly doesn't scream either of these characters but I think it works for these two. Definitely feels like more of a case of the beat informing the battle's personality, whereas it's usually the battle that informs the beat's personality, if that makes sense. I'm fine with it. 2.25/2.5
    Catchiness-It's definitely this. It's nothing if not this. 2.5/2.5
    Epic Factor-It doesn't build at all. That's a big thing for me. There's nothing about this beat that really excites me, which is an especially big problem when the characters are badass revolutionaries. 1.25/2.5
    Variety-Very lacking. Needs way more to last for four whole verses for me. 1/2.5
    Overall: It's not bad, it just could be way better for me. I can see why some people would really like this beat, and it is very different from Krueger vs Wolvie which is good for variety sake, but it's not very memorable for me. 7/10

    Costumes:
    Che Guevara-Robert Rico is perfectly cast as Che Guevara. He looks the part in every way, and the costume is great too. Full Points
    Guy Fawkes-Most pictures I'm seeing have him with a white collar, but I don't care, it's a cool costume and the facial hair looks right. Full Points
    Extras-The JP Morgan cameo is a pretty great touch. Full Points

    Impressions:
    Che Guevara-His voice is pretty cool. This performance isn't exceptionally great or anything, nothing really makes him stand out, but it's a good performance. Full Points
    Guy Fawkes-I think I would've preferred something quieter. There's a demo on Patreon where he's more quieter and I think it's more unique and provides a better contrast with Che. I still like Peter's performance in the video though. He's clearly having a lot of fun with it. I can't stop thinking about the way he says "sword" with the voiced "w". Full Points

    Che Guevara's First Verse:
    Guevara the terror, fresh Kangol wearer
    Ill rhyme slayer from the 60's era
    Pretty filler-y. Flow isn't quite cool enough to justify the lack of any sort of joke.
    Revolting heavy metal rebel blood spiller
    Me and my guerrillas are a squad of killers (Hoo!)
    Fact statey. The gorilla hoo makes it kinda cool but still very lacking lyrically.
    I’m known worldwide for my steely-eyed look
    You're famous cause of Alan Moore's third best book
    Not super clever, but it works. Delivery helps it feel more biting.
    All the children say we will be like Che
    Asthmatic, but I’ll take your breath away
    Delivery makes this line what it is. Funny.
    You tried to rebel against James the first
    Here's a tip for your next plot, try to rehearse!
    Also not really super clever but the wording is funny.
    I got my face on a magnet on your roommate's fridge
    Your head is on a spike up on London Bridge!
    Comparison works okay.
    You had one job cabrón, to strike a matchstick
    I've heard some talk about how Che wouldn't have said "cabrón" because he was Cuban. I don't know enough about that to mark this down.
    Got caught with a fuse like your bars, not lit
    Pretty good pun.
    You should have stayed anonymous Epic Fail Guy
    Probably could've done something more clever with these two jokes, but it's decent enough.
    Treat this battle like the gallows and take another dive
    Decent.

    Verse Overview: Starts off very slow, but picks up near the end. No truly GREAT lines though. Probably around an 8.25.

    Guy Fawkes' First Verse:
    As a communist it must really hurt
    That your face has been cheapened, weakened, besmirched
    Being plastered on posters, coasters, and shirts
    Making capitalists rich off of you on merch
    Wastes four lines on one punchline, but it's a pretty solid punchline. JP Morgan with the assist also helps.
    Right, I'm a pious man and I fight for the lord
    I would cut you but I don't want your sweat on my sword
    I'm a little more forgiving of referenceless lines if they're super character-driven like this one.
    I was tortured until I could hardly sign my name
    And listening to you felt pretty much the same
    Pretty good. I would've maybe liked a joke about the name-signing, but for what it is it's a solid dis.
    Ooh, face it Ernesto, you're Castro but less so
    Pretty good wordplay for a mere set-up.
    He's Cuba Commander you're more of the Destro
    Funny reference.
    Revolt all you want I don’t give two Guy Fawkes
    The pun is fine, nothing special, but the two-finger hand gesture is actually a pretty clever reference. Also, this is a SUPER tiny thing but it bothers me that they say "revolting" twice in this battle without making a decent pun about the word. There's definitely something they could have done with that
    But look at Venezuela, what you’re fighting for sucks
    Simple but fairly effective. Probably could've done something better with this reference though.

    Verse Overview: Guy gets some pretty solid digs in. Definitely does more with the time he has than Che's first verse. I'd probably go with an 8.75.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  7. #1867
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
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    Second part of Guy vs Che review
    Spoiler: 
    Che Guevara's Second Verse:
    Sucks? Guy, you died for the Catholics
    A group with a bad touching little boys habit
    Retorting to the socialism dig with a catholicism dig works really well in concept, but this joke is very lazy in my opinion. This is the most obvious, effortless Catholics joke you could make. They should've done a pun or something. This felt like a real waste to me.
    And this porn star pilgrim look what's up with that?
    Amusing.
    It’s more like V for very bad hat
    Just like the Catholics joke, this takes a really solid dis opportunity and squanders it on the laziest joke they could've done. I can only imagine this was a case of "it was funny to the people writing it". Unless people really like this line and I'm in the minority, in which case maybe I've grown too cynical or something.
    Oh! What's the Fawkes say now?
    (KA! KA KA KA KA-KA!) When they cut your junk out
    I think this joke would've worked a LOT better if they just had Che make the fox noises mockingly rather than awkwardly cutting to Guy clutching his crotch. I actually don't mind the joke, I think it's funny on paper, but the way they handled it falls pretty flat for me.
    I'm the hardest Marxist ever graced a banknote
    You're an error prone terrorist, penny for the scapegoat
    This is a very deep reference. I like it pretty well.

    Verse Overview: Pretty weak verse for me. Very ambitious, and references a lot of things that could've made for great jokes, but most of them crash and burn for me. Probably a 6.5. That might feel high, but keep in mind that is a D, which at my university is not a passing grade.

    Guy Fawkes' Second Verse:
    Don’t try to boast 'bout your banknotes with Guido
    You muddled your economy like mint in a mojito
    This is a great pun.
    This very battle disproves your communist initiative
    These rhyme skills are not evenly distributed
    A little obvious but good.
    I'm Catholic I've got mass when I'm rapping
    This pun's a little weird for me. I don't hate it though.
    You're an ump-Che, that's Bay of Pigs latin
    I love it. This is my kind of joke.
    After what just happened you should retire
    Is it the 5th of November? Cause I'm on fire!
    Good enough. Not the strongest finisher but his delivery helps it feel a little more climatic.

    Verse Overview: This is definitely my favorite verse in the battle. The jokes are consistently pretty good. I'd probably give it a 9.

    Ungraded Stuff:
    Idea-This is a pretty great match-up. Both of these characters fit each other very well. It'd be cool enough on its own without the whole "iconic faces", but having that little extra boost bumps it from an A idea to an A+ idea.
    Visuals-Not nearly as ambitious as Freddy vs Wolvie, but it's good to have one of these lowkey battles every once in a while. I think it's super clever how Che's cigar blows up Guy's background.

    Overall Battle: It's pretty much on the same level as Wolvie vs Freddy, just a tiny bit worse due to the beat and the lyrics. The characters are cool, and this one seems to be getting a very positive reaction in the comments (probably because of the cool match-up and characters) which I think is great. I like this battle, but I'm still holding out for this season to deliver a battle with some really great, clever, subtle lyrics.

    Che Guevara's Best Line: Got caught with a fuse like your bars: not lit!
    Points out Guy's greatest failure in a punny way. Honorable mention is Epic Fail Guy.
    Guy Fawkes' Best Line: You muddled your economy like mint in a mojito
    Had a tough time choosing between this and Bay of Pigs Latin, but I think this one is a little more clever and harder-hitting. The Bay of Pigs was where Che got his face injured, but they did successfully repel the invasion. Honorable mentions are Bay of Pigs Latin, capitalism, and Cuba Commander.

    Che Guevara's Overall Score: 15.25/20, 76.25%, C
    Guy Fawkes' Overall Score: 17.75/20, 88.75%, B+

    Winner: Guy Fawkes
    I think it's a testament to how well they Robert Rico and the ERB crew pulled off Guevara presentation-wise that so many people think he won, because I honestly think his second verse is one of the weakest verses ERB's put out in a while. Guy's verse's aren't mind-blowing but they're pretty solid, some of the better verses ERB's done in a while.

    Total Score: 50/60, 83.33%, B
    Last edited by Samos; 05-15-2019 at 06:55 PM.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  8. #1868
    Brad's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Hibernating
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    Always appreciate these reviews and I find myself generally agreeing with them. Suprised this battle was as good as it was though damn some filler in there considering on paper I found it a weaker matchup


    Woah Mama:

    Spoiler: 




    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    when you make a post and brad instantly buries it and you decide that maybe suicide is the answer
    Quote Originally Posted by Sane
    Brad didn't do shit to save the forum it was all NukeL3AR
    Quote Originally Posted by Turtle
    fking brad with his white writing on a white background
    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig
    Brad I swear to god I'll Fortnite dance on your grave
    Quote Originally Posted by Adonis
    brad can i hit ur juul please bro just one hit
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    “Bumblin’” Brad sent in a paper claiming to have “interviewed” me! Wrong! I have done no such thing, and Liddle Bradley had to sit in his room by himself and make up quotes in order to get his work “published”. Despite the negative forum covfefe, the Fake News Media controlled by Globalist Sam Bama is whipping itself into a frenzy trying to make up lies about your favorite forumer (Me!)

  9. #1869
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Know Your Role Boulevard
    Posts
    6,813
    Blog Entries
    48
    my new battle with gonazd

  10. #1870
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Maryland, United States
    Posts
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    Blog Entries
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    Here's my review of Jenny and Gunnut's latest REWF
    Spoiler: 
    Gonad the Nomad's First Verse:
    Gonad the Nomad
    Works as a parody of original.
    Historically his rhymes aren’t bad(?)
    Is this filler or a forum meme I forgot about?
    Toronto Mayor Kool Aid man jAUDIoke announcer’s rad
    Not really a joke but the reference mixing is okay.
    Merciless, unchanging straight face never’s sad
    Not really super clever on its own, but an okay parody of the original.
    Me and my name changes roasted Sambab
    Feels fact statey.
    I’m known forum wide for my banned old meme
    You’re known for the most meh battles (I’VE EVER SEEEEN)
    Decent.
    All the members say we’re gonna be like Gunt
    Ban me (But that’ll just prove you’re a—)
    Feels fillery.
    You tried to finish TDFE in first
    Next time don’t tie with Sam he’s literally the worst
    Fairly basic insult.
    I got my name on a post for Spammer if the Year
    I’ll steal your girl on the First of the Year
    Rhyming "year" with "year" isn't really something I approve of but I thought this was funny.
    You had one job Janet, keep TJBs posted
    And now that thread is deader than a pikachu names DICKS
    Decent.
    You should have kept lurking, Jill Sandwich on rye
    "On rye" doesn't really feel like much of an insult.
    Gravity remembered you in his battle cause your verses aren’t fly
    Nice pun.

    Verse Overview: Some decent references, but also a lot of filler. I'd give it an 8.

    Fawkesey Lady's First Verse:
    On your old profile, it did really hurt
    Viewing the bare-face of a dickhead, wicked, fucker,
    Full rows cloned pansies, like Andy Warhol's work,
    But instead of pop art it's slob art of no worth!
    Pretty good spin on the original.
    Rufgr, I'm a secular girl, a rebel without a cause!
    The "Rufgr" is funny
    Plus a cat-girl, use ya blood as paint for my claws!
    Decent.
    The system tries to stop me from legally changing my name,
    While you harass mods for name-changes that always feel the same!
    I like this joke.
    (Ooh!) Face it, Doulgas: your school has, the same rules as
    Much of the outside world, stay home and smoke accrued grass!
    This flows pretty well in my head.
    Better than showing off weapons, but I don't give a fuck.
    Go ahead, mansplain your creed, I'll understand that you suck.
    Okay finisher.

    Verse Overview: Also a couple good references, but only one or two that really come together to make a great line (unless I'm missing some jokes). Also an 8.

    Gonad the Nomad's Second Verse:
    Suck? Bore, you had me do Blame Ash that one time
    Where I mansplained your way into TDFE Top 5
    Pretty good comeback.
    And that side-eyed Insta look, what’s up with that?
    Good twist on the original.
    Like dammit, Janet, that’s a really bad av
    Would be a really bad line on its own, but when it's referencing the original line it's pretty funny.
    ( Oh ) still don’t give a fuck?
    (Quack quack quack quack) Dustman speech says you’re a duck
    The quacks are awesome.
    I’m the quickest witted no delay like a short LAN
    I like the pun, is LAN a reference to anything related to either of you two or is it just an unrelated reference?
    You’re a former forum fascist, anvil for the hammer ban
    Wordplay is nice.

    Verse Overview: Solid verse, lots of decent jokes and references. 8.75.

    Fawkesey Lady's Second Verse:
    Don't fake some swag 'less you got grocery bags!
    That straight face gives it away, it's so very SAD!
    Funny.
    This very battle disproves your second amendment:
    I'm killing it without showing up with a weapon!
    Great take on the original.
    (Augh!) I'm Atheist, I'm unholy on the mic, bish!
    You're a dipshit! That's straight up English!
    Even better takes on the original.
    After what just happened, your career is done!
    Really an improvement on the original. The original was totally filler, but this manages to keep the line largely intact while adding a quick little forum meme.
    Lay it down like kitchen tile, or I'll shoot this Gun!
    Decent finisher. Kind of a basic pun but it works.

    Verse Overview: Strongest verse in the battle, lots of solid disses. 9.25.

    Overall Battle: Good job on both sides, I thought this was pretty great. Only two flaws in my mind are a little too much filler and could probably use a few more "ooh shit" moments. But the use of forum memes is overall very good and worked well for this battle.

    Gonad the Nomad's Best Line: Gravity remembered you in his battle cause your verses aren’t fly
    A classic burn. Honorable mentions are meh battle and TDFE top 5.
    Fawkesey Lady's Best Line: You're a dipshit! That's straight up English!
    Just works really well. Honorable mentions are name-changes and Second Amendment.

    Gonad the Nomad's Overall Score: 16.75/20
    Fawkesey Lady's Overall Score: 17/20

    Winner: Fawkesey Lady

    Total Score: 33.75/40

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

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