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Thread: Presidential Reviews

  1. #1851
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's the second part of my review of Part 5 of BKTurner's Waltmageddon.
    Spoiler: 
    Donald J Trump: (QUIET!)
    Could you shut up for once and let me speak?
    Iíve yet to deliver some disses in my presidential speech!
    I'm not really a fan of the "storytelly" lines that just exist to push the plot forward without any real jokes. Romeo and Juliet vs. Bonnie and Clyde is my prime example of how to do storytelling in a rap battle while maintaining lyrical creativity the whole time.
    Firstly, Walt needs to stop acting like a Scrooge!
    From Mississippi to North Dakota, my victory will be yuge!
    New Hampshire, won the primary, same as New York!
    References without jokes.
    Iíve got all the answers you guys try to report!
    Filler.
    Adolf Hitler: Weíre killing the competition, call it Zyklon B!
    Not bad.
    Unlike BKR3, we can actually stabilize a team!
    Basic insult.
    Victor Krane: My mind control surpasses all your future Visionís,
    Decent.
    Taking control of all your assets, taking control of your business!
    Basic threat.
    Donald J Trump: Shepard and his team try to make me look like a dump,
    All: Denounce us all you want, but you can never Stump the Trump!
    Also feels like a reference without a joke.

    Bill Cipher: (Looking for someone, boys?)
    HmmmÖ it appears that the puppets are trying to cut off the strings.
    Decent pun.
    The nameís Bill Mischief Cipher, and Iíve been carefully watching,
    a hand-picked rebellion slowly devolve to mob mentality.
    These band geeks should've known Iím a titty twister of reality!
    Lacking in jokes.
    Now the executive office is full of sweat, tears and child labor.
    Iíll apply Unleashed Force to your Rogue Shadow, prick you with your lightsabers!
    The combining of references is pretty good.
    You underfeed your employees, but eat up your corporations!
    This pun is alright.
    You canít purchase me when I bring out my laser disintegration!
    References without jokes.
    Your sidekickís a Gnomeo garden gnome, a washed up suck-up!
    Not super clever, but funny.
    What are those Vines of yours? Youíre not hip! Just shut the fuck up!
    Generic insults.
    You think youíre scary with your leaks? You got beaten by a leaf!
    All your fancy cards are played, but the Trump one canít be commander-in-chief!
    Okay, a bit wordy but the joke works.
    Your foreign policies arenít well detailed with accurate descriptions!
    Feels generic and too wordy.
    Youíd put the entire world in danger if you are ever elected!
    The news is against you for a reason! Why donít you understand?
    Neo-fascism isnít cool anymore, so stop stealing your teammateís plans!
    I am your worst nightmare! Youíre in the realm of confusion!
    Your revolution failed, BKR! The only answer is losing!
    Lacking in jokes.
    Your mental state will be nullified into a parliament of tears!
    Kind of a weird metaphor but not a bad reference.
    You can Barry a Bully, but you canít bury your worst fears!
    I like this one.
    Donít try to pull the handle, kid! No one can outwit me!
    No prophecies or old men could come close to defeating me!
    I know you down to your last aspect, I know all of your fears!
    You better fasten your seatbelts, kids, since itís about to get *WEIRD!*
    References without jokes.

    Victor Krane: I havenít reached my destination yet, but Iím getting off this Trump Train!
    For a storytelly line, this is pretty good.
    Ever since I hopped along, Iíve dealt with nothing but pain!
    Filler.

    Donald J Trump: Pain? You said so yourself that you wanted to be hired!
    But if you step down from my apprenticeship, youíre gonna find yourself fired!
    Kind of an obvious joke.

    Adolf Hitler: You need to wash up on your rhymes, Trump. Here, step in my shower!
    Feels stolen from ERB. A shower reference would have been fine, but this feels like you're just taking the joke without adding anything new to it.
    Your skyscraper in NYC looks more like an 8-bit mess from Tiny Tower!
    Funny.

    Donald J Trump: My skyscraper is great, folks! Itís sure greater than your Reich!
    So as future commander-in-chief, I revoke your position on the mic!
    Generic threat.

    Adolf Hitler: You can wet dream all you want, but your presidencyís fake!
    Victor Krane: Weíll leave you more burnt than one of your charcoal Trump Steaks!
    Pretty good.

    Donald J Trump: Try to make your move here, but this Chess is 11D!
    Funny.
    So, as the official band leader, Iím liquidating this team!
    Feels like a repeat of his last lines.

    Bill Cipher: *IíVE HAD ENOUGH WITH THESE GAMES, LADIES AND THE TRUMP!*
    "Ladies and the Trump" is funny.
    *YOUR MAIN TEAM CONSISTS OF NOTHING BUT LONELY, MISERABLE GRUMPS!*
    Generic insult.

    Overall: Fun to read. I feel like there's more effort put into the plot and verse set-up than the actual lines themselves. A lot of the lyrics feel a little rushed and I think it could benefit a little more if it were taken in a more "quality over quantity" direction, like you suggested yourself. What this battle clearly has a ton of is passion. You clearly enjoy working with these characters, which is great, I feel like part of the beauty of fan made ERB content is that there's no requirement for anyone to appeal to the massive kind of audience that ERB does.

    Overall Score: 61/100

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  2. #1852
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of Oxygen by the experimental rock band Swans. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVLN_fxTaUk

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  3. #1853
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of the final part of BKTurner's Waltmageddon series.
    Spoiler: 
    Walt Disney: So many creative disses, yet so little time.
    Not a bad opening.
    How can you eloquently write it all down with battle rhyme?
    How can you do it without coming off as rushed,
    with your creativity broken and your hopes and dreams crushed?
    Lacking in references.
    Youíre a good kid, BK, but youíre not free from condemnation.
    Been on the forum for seven years, but barely any reputation.
    The "reputation" double meaning is cool.
    Put in all your hard work, but you keep getting bad reviews.
    Even Coreytran is a better rapper than you!
    Decent use of forum meme.

    Bigkidrant3: Iím so sick and tired of being told what to do,
    by an invisible deadline that I feel I have to oblige to.
    You know itís not easy holding a series together.
    The interval between battle and battle takes forever.
    Feels storytelly without jokes.
    Hate to inform you, Zachary, but this wonít be a Sher-win.
    Nice pun.
    Youíll end up like your home series, broke and abandoned!
    Good reference.
    So hereís the sitch between you and me, Dr. Drakken.
    Iím racking up more dough than the ideas you rejected!
    Something about this line confuses me. I guess it's just that "money" and "rejected ideas" are measured in different currencies. I know that's pretty nitpicky, but it still makes the line feel a little weird to me.

    Walt Disney: My stocks are rising, while your GPA is falling!
    I tend to be more lenient with "comparison lines" being a little fact statey if the comparison is clever and makes a good point. This one just feels a little basic to me.
    Kept up all night by the fright of your endless bawliní.
    Iím balliní a multi-trillion dollar corporate mansion!
    Your mindís an empty void; yes, a vacant Haunted Mansion!
    I like this joke.
    Yes, the barista perfectionista, so tired, so eager,
    Although his work only appeals to overweight Tumblrinas.
    Feel like there could be a better Tumblr joke than this.
    You had an entire year to prepare, so cough up your deed!
    Why waste your time writing battles that nobody will read?
    Basic insult.

    Walt Disney: Well.. this was more anticlimactic than expected.
    Maybe, I should have gave kid a couple more seconds.
    Feels a too similar to the Romeo and Juliet vs. Bonnie and Clyde ERB.
    Heís scrawny, sure, but, he still has a heart, unlike me.
    Ugh, why did this load have to be dropped on me?
    Itís already stressful enough having to work with,
    millions of people whom which I donít agree with!
    After I tuck that paper envelope into my coat,
    I am packing my bags and heading back home!
    I wanted a regular company, not a corporate throne!
    Feels storytelly without much creative lyricism.
    Lobbyists chasing me feels like itís Attack of the Clones.
    I like this line. This is the only line in this verse to me that feels like it's not using the plot as an excuse to not attempt many jokes
    Either way, this series has made a fine progression.
    Iím sure it will make a fine addition to my collection.
    See above

    Steven ďBigkidrant3Ē Smith: (Oh, god..)
    Have I really turned into this obscene abomination?
    Have I stepped so low as to appeal to SJW cetaceans?
    I needed notations for my essays, but instead of citations,
    I was writing about Stormtroopers fighting mathematical equations!
    Funny.
    When I look into my laptop mirror, I see nothing but disgust.
    Iíve become an empty Mr. Krabs shell from the rapper I once was.
    I like this reference.
    It makes me wonder, how did I end up this way?
    Was it something I did or something I said?
    Or was it -
    Basic storytelling.

    Bigkidrant3: Donít listen to your thoughts! Write the complex annotations,
    of the final Waltmageddon that you SHOULD be making.
    Stop self-reflecting, and reflect upon all of these lines!
    Should ERBParodies come in for a cameo on Line 5?
    Sir Max needs to be ended off, how should we do it?
    I have the Wolf Blitzer idea, now you just need to do it!
    And Iíll call up Tristan on the Track so we can -
    This verse sort of suffers from the same problem that the last Walt verse suffers from, but it's more interesting to me. It could afford to be more jokey, sure, but it feels personal enough that I enjoy it.

    Steven ďBigkidrant3Ē Smith: Can it, and shut up.
    Weíve had our fun, but itís time for me to pull the plug!

    Bigkidrant3: Don't tell me to shut up, you goddamn motherfucking prick!
    I'm the boss of all the mini-bosses, and I can see EVERYTHING!
    Upset from all those parties you weren't invited to? Well, I'll be!
    All those hours shitposting, you should have spent them with me.
    And now, youíre like a trillion pounds overweight, bro.
    You need to put behind the desk and lift a couple weights, bro.
    You can't stop me, Steve-O! Thereís no brakes on this train.
    SO ALL ABOARD ONE AND ALL Ė
    Same as last verse. Not super clever, but interesting enough that I don't have a huge problem with it.

    Overall: I don't really think it feels right to judge this one on the same sort of scale as a normal rap battle since it's so different, so I won't give this an overall score. This feels like a fitting conclusion to this big project you've spent a lot of time on, and it leaves me with the right feeling of conclusiveness and satisfaction. In that sense, I sorta liked this part more than a lot of the rest of Waltmageddon, since I wasn't really looking at this one as a rap battle as much as I was just a story (a personal and enjoyable one at that).

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  4. #1854
    Brad's Avatar Super Moderator
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    You should review the flash in the pan conflicts!


    Spoiler: 

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    when you make a post and brad instantly buries it and you decide that maybe suicide is the answer
    Quote Originally Posted by Sane
    Brad didn't do shit to save the forum it was all NukeL3AR
    Quote Originally Posted by Turtle
    fking brad with his white writing on a white background
    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig
    Brad I swear to god I'll Fortnite dance on your grave
    Quote Originally Posted by Adonis
    brad can i hit ur juul please bro just one hit
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    ďBumbliníĒ Brad sent in a paper claiming to have ďinterviewedĒ me! Wrong! I have done no such thing, and Liddle Bradley had to sit in his room by himself and make up quotes in order to get his work ďpublishedĒ. Despite the negative forum covfefe, the Fake News Media controlled by Globalist Sam Bama is whipping itself into a frenzy trying to make up lies about your favorite forumer (Me!)

  5. #1855
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of Chapter 1 of Ludwig's Forum Conspiracy fanfic.
    Spoiler: 
    There are a ton of cool references in this chapter, most of them executed pretty well with wordplay that isn't too obvious but isn't too hidden. I might've liked to have seen a more interesting reaction to the King dying, instead of just sort of mentioning it and moving the conversation on from there. I also think that some of the "new characters" (as in characters that aren't based on real forumers) could have stronger introductions so we can have a better idea of who they are and why we should care about them. Overall, though, this plot and these characters are pretty interesting, and the knowledge of forum lore is clearly very strong.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  6. #1856
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of Sam Diss Track 2018. As a warning, I usually don't review things that are this good, as I tend to get too excited, but I'll give it a pass this time since it's almost Christmas
    Spoiler: 
    Damn it's 2018
    Very true.
    Where have the years gone
    I like when a line makes you think. Elevates the rap to a new level beyond pure entertainment.
    Everybody going their own way and shit
    Nice Frank Sinatra reference.
    But if there's one thing that hasn't changed
    It's my feelings for one man
    I love the foreshadowing here.
    Sam, I hope you're reading this...
    I am
    Let's go

    sam I really hate you
    Really strong opener.
    and if I had to rate you
    I'd give you like a two
    Very solid reference to my reviews.
    Becaause I really hate you
    And a very solid follow-up. Always good to tie up any loose ends created by a previous line.

    I dont know what to do (oo)
    to make you go away (hey)
    Filler, but like, good filler
    are you and Roy49 together?
    that's pretty gay (hey)
    Clever, funny, and insulting. All the marks of a great line.
    I dont know what else to say (brrp)
    Besides that you suck (scrrrt)
    I think the "scrrrt" really brings this one home.
    I'll hit you really hard (oof)
    Like a hockey puck (ay)
    Good reference to the fact that my favorite hockey team, the Washington Capitals, just won the Stanley Cup
    Your review thread's big (ah)
    Nobody reading it though (barzoople)
    I don't like this one
    Put this in your sig (hol up)
    I hate you, yo (ahahaha)
    Will do

    sam I really hate you
    and if I had to rate you
    I'd give you like a two
    Becaause I really hate you
    sam I really hate you
    and if I had to rate you
    I'd give you like a two
    Becaause I really hate you
    This bit really was too strong to just happen once. After reading it, I was hoping it would come back, and I feel like three times is an appropriate amount.

    sam I see you down in the chaaaaaaaaat
    sam why dont you come on down and kiss my asssssss
    Good threat.
    sam you're an ugly little boyyyyy
    sam probably still play with toyssss
    Good prediction. I don't, but still a good guess.
    sam ur licking your pit on camera
    Very good joke.
    sam i'll cut through you like a samura
    I really like how you make a word that doesn't rhyme with the last line actually rhyme. Very creative.
    my repetition of your name you fuck
    is a prime example of anaphora
    Nice vocab.

    sam I really hate you
    and if I had to rate you
    I'd give you like a two
    Becaause I really hate you
    sam I really hate you
    and if I had to rate you
    I'd give you like a two
    Becaause I really hate you
    I was wrong, three times wasn't enough. Five times is perfect.

    hol up CUT THE BEAT
    I'm gonna go in on this man FREESTYLE
    Good way to get the audience hyped up for the next verse.
    HipsterSamuel you're not even a hipster
    Very true, very insulting, very legal and very cool
    You probably weren't alive to download Napster
    I don't even know what that is
    You're a little kid and your avatar is outdated
    I have been meaning to change it actually
    You're one of the few people that I have ever hated
    Ouch.
    One of my favorite albums is Treasure you're worse than National Treasure
    Good use of this reference.
    Your nether regions are gonna go Uncharted forever
    Sorta breaks the hot streak, this line is pretty trash
    Sam I suspect that you are secretly a homosexual
    BOOM hot streak is back
    I have yet to see evidence to the contrary that isn't textual
    Again, one of those lines that makes you think.
    Come out of the closet nobody will be surprised
    I don't know if this is necessarily true, but it's a good line nonetheless.
    It is clear to see that you are a gay man in disguise
    One of the better gay jokes in the battle.
    We can see it in your eyes
    So cut it out with the lies
    A lot packed into these two lines. Really takes a while to wrap your head around the whole thing. I'm guessing these two lines must have taken longer than the rest of the battle.
    Samwise you're a nerd
    Good Percy Jackson reference
    I'm flipping you the bird
    I'm hurting you with words
    This rhymes.
    Let's pick the beat back up
    The chorus must be heard
    You really do know how to play the audience like a fiddle. I can just imagine a crowd getting super hyped up on these lines.

    sam I really hate you
    and if I had to rate you
    I'd give you like a two
    Becaause I really hate you
    sam I really hate you
    and if I had to rate you
    I'd give you like a two
    Becaause I really hate you
    sam I really hate you
    and if I had to rate you
    I'd give you like a two
    Becaause I really hate you
    sam I really hate you
    and if I had to rate you
    I'd give you like a two
    Becaause I really hate you
    I feel like this isn't enough times to repeat this set of lines. Just leaves me wanting a little more. Still, at least it wasn't just five or something.

    bitch
    Going out with a bang.

    Overall: I'm really struggling to find anything wrong with this verse. My only nitpicks, and these are super tiny, but I feel like there should be a couple more gay jokes. I also think it's a little unfocused, like I'm not exactly sure who you're rapping against sometimes. Make sure you keep your number of targets limited so no one gets confused. Otherwise pretty flawless.

    Best Line: We can see it in your eyes
    Worst Line: and if I had to rate you

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  7. #1857
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
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    thanks for the support babe

  8. #1858
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
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    Location
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    Quote Originally Posted by Klonoa View Post
    Best of luck with finals, Sam! Go get 'em!

    Once you have a free moment, and once you complete the rest of your queue, why not review 2018? As in the year. Why not review what you thought of 2018 and how well you thought it went on a global level and a personal level?

    Yeah that's right I'm asking for personal details here bud.
    Spoiler: 
    Movies: I didn't really see too much this year, so I'll just give a brief rundown of the stuff I did see. Just as a head's up, I'm pretty not-critical of movies. It's not that I can't see the flaws in movies, but I always end up leaving the theatre with a good feeling and having generally enjoyed what I just saw. SPOILERS

    Black Panther came out in February, but I didn't see it until my Environmental teacher showed it in class. A ton of people had hyped it up for me, and for the most part I wasn't disappointed at all. The idea of Wakanda being this African country that is secretly super advanced but doesn't want to share its technology with the rest of the world out of fear of how they'll react? I don't know if that's exactly how it was set up in the comics, I never read them, but that is an absolutely brilliant premise for a movie, let alone a superhero movie. Tons of great and interesting political conversations to have there. Chadwick Boseman is a great T'Challa, but I read a review online that said that they sort of found the supporting characters more interesting than the lead himself, and I can't help but agree with that to an extent, but that's not necessarily such a bad thing. Having really strong supporting characters is a good thing, and Michael B. Jordan is the perfect villain for a movie like this, both in writing and in performance. It's been a while since I've seen the movie, but Nakia, W'Kabi, Shuri, and Klaue are all memorable characters in my mind. Now, does it deserve to be nominated for Best Picture? Well, I'm a little torn. I don't think this is the greatest superhero movie of all time probably, but it clearly was a really important movie for a lot of people, and God knows the Oscars has a shakey history with race. I think Black Panther getting nominated for Best Picture, regardless of whether or not it "deserves it", is more of a good thing than a bad thing, but we'll see what happens.

    Love, Simon was absolutely delightful. Really funny, great cast, I was totally sucked in and charmed by this movie. And I'm really glad it did well at the box office, too. I personally love to see more LGBT representation in mainstream media, including children's media.

    Avengers: Infinity War definitely surprised me. Someone spoiled for me that "most of them die at the end", and I remember saying after I heard that "okay, well the two that are obviously not going to die are Spider-Man and Black Panther", but I was dead wrong. VERY ballsy move, even if they probably are going to come back. Just showing those deaths on screen could have had a serious, angry backlash. I honestly was surprised there wasn't more. The main thing I had on my mind leaving the theatre was "I feel so bad for any little kids who now think their favorite superheroes are dead", so I kinda didn't like the movie when I first saw it. But I guess that wasn't a big issue for people? I don't know if parents just generally decided not to take their kids or if they had a feeling they knew what was going to happen and sat them down beforehand to talk to them or what, but I was really surprised this movie got such an overwhelmingly positive reaction online. I guess Marvel is smarter than I am with that kinda thing. Anyway, now that the dust has settled (heehee), I've started to really appreciate this movie. It had a ton of great humor, great character interactions, and legitimate heartbreak, which is more than most people expect from your typical superhero movie. It's hard to tell since the movie is still (relatively) new, but I think Thanos could go down as the Darth Vader of this movie-going generation, and one of the most memorable movie villains of all time.

    I don't really remember Deadpool 2 super well, but I remember thoroughly enjoying it. The after credits scene KILLED me. I like the original more, just because the jokes felt fresher to me, but this was a good time. I've never really been introduced to Domino before, her action scenes were cool as FUCK, I'd totally go see a standalone movie starring her

    I kinda think Incredibles 2 is slightly overrated. I didn't think it was BAD, but there were a ton of people online saying that it was better than the original. Maybe it was a little funnier than the original, but the first one handled the serious moments way better in my view. The first Incredibles felt like a really big, emotional, epic movie, while this one felt more like a standard comedy kids movie. The villain was also a huge downgrade. Syndrome was a well-rounded, funny, great villain. Screenslaver was super forgettable, and I saw the twist coming a mile away. I'm usually a sucker for plot twists, but this one was pathetic. That said, the humor was great, so I still like the movie, I just think it could've been way better.

    Ant-Man and the Wasp was exactly what I was expecting, and that's a good thing. Smart move releasing this right after Infinity War. It was a goofy, funny popcorn flick. It didn't have to be anything more than that and I'm really glad it wasn't. I'm really looking forward to seeing Ant-Man in Endgame, and hope that he brings an innocent fun to what will probably otherwise be on the more serious side, judging from the trailer.

    I cannot believe a Venom movie without Spider-Man actually exists. It was totally pointless and didn't really have anything to help it stand out from the crapton of other superhero movies coming out lately. I had fun with it though. Tom Hardy's performance was entertaining enough for me to never get bored.

    Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse was probably my favorite superhero movie of 2018. It's a little close between this one and Infinity War, but I think this one is just more creative and unique. I wasn't even going to see this movie until I read the insanely positive reviews and checked the voice cast to make sure I'd enjoy it. Everything just ties itself together really strong. The movie does an incredible job of introducing Miles Morales as a totally new character without sacrificing the idea that this is as true-blue a Spider-Man movie as any of the Sam Raimi, Marc Webb, or MCU Spider-Man movies. He doesn't WANT to be Spider-Man, but he's sort of forced into this role and has to unwillingly battle the consequences of being Spider-Man. The ending ties everything together PERFECTLY, and I can't wait to see what they do with a sequel. Also, as much as I loved Deadpool 2's after credits scene, this movie probably has the best after credits scene of any movie I've ever seen.

    Mary Poppins Returns was adorable and fun. Really glad to see my man Lin-Manuel Miranda in some mainstream stuff, and hope he truly becomes an A-list star, because he is super charismatic and has the talent to back it up. As much as I loved his performance, however, Dick Van Dyke was the best part of the movie.

    I saw Vice because I'm a Gov/Pol major and reluctant political junkie, and thought it was great. I don't know why Sam Rockwell got the Golden Globe nomination over Steve Carell. Both gave really good performances, but Donald Rumsfeld is a far more complex and interesting character than George W. Bush was in my mind. Christian Bale and Amy Adams are the stars of the show, though. Their performances were both insanely good, and make me believe that you can just cast them in anything and they'll nail it.

    Politics: For those of you that don't know, I'm a very liberal guy, and I actually worked for the Democratic Party this November to get people out to the polls in my state. I was overall really happy with the results of the midterms, though it kinda sucks that most of the really high-profile cases that I got emotionally invested in (Abrams vs. Kemp, O'Rourke vs. Cruz, Gillum vs. DeSantis) ended in disappointment. Still, I'm really glad the Democrats finally have some say in the government, I love Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and I hope that the party starts to actually stand for real issues instead of just being the "orange man bad" party (don't get me wrong, I think Trump is an awful president, but the Democrats need to actually provide alternatives to Republican policies in 2020 instead of criticizing). I have no idea who I'm going to vote for in the 2020 Democratic primary, and I'm looking forward to seeing them all fight it out.

    Personal: 2018 wasn't exactly the greatest year for my mental health. I've had a pretty low self-image for a while, largely a result of the fact that I really suck at romance, and this year has been very disappointing for me from that angle, but they say the first step in solving any problem is acknowledging there is one. I went to therapy for the first time this year (by taking advantage of my college's health services), I switched from glasses to contacts (which has made me feel surprisingly better about how I look), and I've started working out. I was extremely underweight at the beginning of the year, and now I feel a lot better about my weight. And a lot of really good things have happened this year too. I'm going to a really awesome college that I love, my roommates are awesome, I'm either going to get a 4.0 or like a 3.89 GPA for this last semester, and I'm generally starting to take control of my life instead of just accepting that I'm sad whenever I'm sad.

    Resolutions: First, drive safer. I got into a (fortunately very minor) accident in January that was 100% my fault and I'm not going to let that happen again. Second, take better care of mental health. Third, don't ever NOT exercise for an entire day ever for whatever reason (hopefully that doesn't conflict with number two). Finally, I'm not just going to not to bad things, I'm going to do good things. Nobody is a perfectly good human being and everyone can always be nicer. I hope to be more actively nice this year instead of just passively nice, if that makes sense. Happy 2019 everyone!
    Last edited by Samos; 01-13-2019 at 01:03 AM.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  9. #1859
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Maryland, United States
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    Quote Originally Posted by sane View Post
    https://erboh.com/forum/showthread.p...l=1#post463341

    Could you give a serious review of our joke battle
    Spoiler: 
    Elolaron Muboresk's First Verse:
    Call me may (be) Carly Rae Jep (sen)
    Very random reference. Don't know what it has to do with either of you two.
    Is my victory anthem against this Texan
    Not really a joke.
    I'm making decent ass posts now that weíre out of the dark ages
    Not a bad parody of the original line. "Decent ass posts" is a little lazy though.
    You provided a Discord server thatís pretty cool, for that Iím gracious
    I'm not seeing an insult here.
    Any guy named Bennett
    Prob does crack
    Reference that doesn't really change enough about the original joke to make it feel fresh.
    Your posts are so erotic, Star Trekís like
    "WE NEED THE FLYING DILDOS BACK"
    Almost a good line, but what does Star Trek have to do with anything?
    I'm Danny Devito mixed with the Rock and some estrogen
    Not sure what this means.
    I use a water flosser every night because I still have my braces in
    I can't tell what the point of this line is.

    Verse Overview: There's some creativity in this verse, but it most seems to miss the mark of what a "rap battle" is supposed to be. 4ish.

    Masanerk Zubutckbstrabngerg's First Verse:
    Alabama, is where I'm from actually,
    but I wouldn't expect your disses to be factually,
    The use of an adverb as an adjective is what bothers me here. Also the second line here isn't really a reference to anything.
    correct, you're right about the Discord, I'm owner,
    made you mod but you're more worried about losing your boner.
    I felt like this joke was going somewhere good but then the ending kinda threw me off.
    You can beat me in a staring contest cause all I do is fucking blink,
    Why the self-dis?
    but everytime we rap battle you lose, it must be your kink.
    Is there a reference I'm missing with the "kink" thing?
    I've been watching what you post it makes me snore PolarBore,
    been rapbattling and snapchatting you since ERB season 4.
    Fact statey.
    Check your, Discord, Instagram, and Facebook,
    Blocked, been feeling this way since my username was Hook,
    Okay references.
    mocked, give me some ramen I'm an excellent cook,
    Shrimp sauce, I'll stir you up and leave you shook, or shocked.
    The ramen thing was going somewhere but again, the ending feels a little uncreative.
    you're nothing to me, like a pawn to a rook,
    Lacking in relevant references
    At least pick a hotter name than Janet, like Brooke
    Basic insult

    Verse Overview: There's definitely potential for some good jokes here, you even set some of them up pretty well. There just aren't any solid jokes that land successfully. 3.5.

    Elolaron Muboresk's Second Verse:
    Well my real name is Jenny so itís cuter than Janet I guess, man
    Fact statey.
    And donít tell Ray Blanchard, but I think I look hot in a dress, man
    Not a bad boast line, but kind of a random reference.
    I got a scholarship from Questbridge (woo)
    Decent parody of the original line.
    And I canít believe itís true
    But Iím going to Grinnell without having to pay loans, yay
    These two lines don't really seem to have much of a point in terms of the purposes of a rap battle. Also this doesn't rhyme.
    Finna save up for a womb
    Feels like a set up for a line but it's not, it's just a statement of fact
    I wanted to finish this battle at 4 AM but it was past your bedtime
    Is there some "bedtime" reference that I'm not aware of?
    Remember when we played Minecraft on Xbox Live that one time? (ayy)
    Also feels like it's setting something up, but it isn't.
    You claim to be strange but sane (ay) but you ainít (ay)
    Decent parody of the original.
    Unlike Elon after I save up I wonít need to misuse the word taint (brrr)
    A little wordy.
    I said brr cuz of polar bears. You look like something from WarioWareís
    Random reference.
    I wanna get a 10 from Sam so Iím gonna figure out some sort of way to cleverly use the old meme about me with pears to say that you should grow a pair.
    Oversharey.

    Verse Overview: This battle feels like it's getting a little off track in terms of focus. 3.

    Masanerk Zubutckbstrabngerg's Second Verse:
    ooh dammit janet dont make me bust out the hermit
    Freestyling to this karaoke and I sound like Kermit
    I have no idea what these lines mean.
    Man Iím sick and tired of you making me try to write a rap
    Iím been doing this a few years man I still think its crap
    This isn't really a rap battle anymore.
    Least its not as bad as that dude sam
    Go ahead and rate this 10, I am
    That made no sense
    No, it didn't.
    Who cares Iím the Dr. Seuss of makes no sense
    *Sane freestyled this in a Kermit voice and I transcribed it*
    That would explain it.

    Verse Overview: I find more of this verse incomprehensible than comprehensible. Only do a freestyle verse if you're really seasoned at it, and even then sometimes the style doesn't work too well with this type of thing. 1/10.

    Overall Battle: There are a number of different ways you can be successful in writing lyrics for a rap battle. A line can be a clever boast, a clever dis, or a clever threat, and there's always some room for creativity in there. But not this much creativity. I feel this battle is pretty unfocused and lacking in understanding of what a truly great rap battle can be. Make sure every line has a point and is building some sort of argument of "I'm better than you".

    Elolaron Muboresk's Best Line: I'm making decent ass posts now that weíre out of the dark ages
    This one is my favorite since it refers to the period of massive inactivity on here as the "dark ages" and I think that's clever
    Masanerk Zubutckbstrabngerg's Best Line: Check your, Discord, Instagram, and Facebook,
    It sounded cool in my head

    Elolaron Muboresk's Overall Score: 7/20
    Masanerk Zubutckbstrabngerg's Overall Score: 4.5/20

    Winner: Elolaron Muboresk

    Total Score: 11.5/40

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  10. #1860
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Know Your Role Boulevard
    Posts
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    I lowkey love you but dont tell anyone

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