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Thread: Presidential Reviews

  1. #1081
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama View Post
    Here's my re-review of Napoleon vs. Napoleon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeNYDwbm9qw). Next is 1$hotkill vs. The Flying Bullet.
    Spoiler: 
    Beat: This beat is one of my favorites in all of season one. My only complaint would be that it's a bit repetitive, but aside from that, it's got everything you want in a beat. It's really intense, really catchy, and it's probably the most memorable beat of the season. It's weird, you wouldn't expect a battle like this to have such an awesome beat. 9/10

    Impressions and Costumes: They really nailed this. It doesn't take too much to play a good Bonaparte, just give him a French accent and you're good, but Dynamite has his own unique mannerisms that Peter just nailed. He said he got really frustrated trying to get this character down, but I think the hard work really payed off. Nothing to complain about here. 10/10

    Napoleon Dynamite-Round 1: Somehow, they managed to only use one height joke in this entire verse. It's probably the weakest height joke in the battle, but I have to credit them for not focusing on the obvious, unlike his next verse, but we'll get to that. The Bones apart line and Waterloo line were both pretty obvious, but I like the Horatio Nelson line a lot. Also, did anyone else notice that Rhett and Link also rhymed Nelson and Yeltsin in one of their own rap battles? Just a weird thing I noticed. I don't really get the French Fries line (why do you need to brag about tater tots?), but the last line is nice. So the verse all in all is pretty dang good. See, this is why I re-review these things, I have no idea why this got a 7 last time. 8.5/10

    Napoleon Bonaparte-Round 1: The first few lines are pretty basic and generic, but the Tina line is OK, and the Lafawnduh line is pretty great. I love the doodle line, and the mountain line is decent. The last line is a bit obvious, but still pretty great. Honestly, I can't decide whether I like it more or less than Dynamite's first, so I guess that's one thing that isn't changing from the first review. 8.5/10

    Napoleon Dynamite-Round 2: This verse does nothing but focus on Bonaparte's height. One height joke was fine, there's a lot more to make fun of with the character. It actually reminds me a lot of Miley Cyrus' second verse, in that it has good lines, but they just focus on one detail in particular. The lines are funny, don't get me wrong, but too repetitive for me. 7/10

    Napoleon Bonaparte-Round 2: As most of you know, I gave this verse a 10 last time, and I stand by that. Every line is just fantastic. The worst line in the verse is the moon boots line, and even that is still a great line. I cracked up when Napoleon just started ranting rapidly in French, the virgin meringue line is really clever, and I don't think I need to say anything about the last line. 10/10

    Overall: This battle is way better than I remember it being. I always remembered it as good, but now I think it might be my favorite season 1 battle, even above Einstein vs. Hawking. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned from this, that battles with weak connections turn out better. I don't know, I just know that re-reviewing this battle was a pleasant surprise, because it's beat, presentation and lines are all awesome. 8.5/10

    Napoleon Dynamite's Best Line: When it comes to world leaders, you like literally lowered the bar.
    Napoleon Dynamite's Worst Line: You can keep your French fries, I got tater tots, you gnome!
    Napoleon Bonaparte's Best Line: Sacrebleu, t'as un tęte a faire sauter les plaques d'egouts!
    Napoleon Bonaparte's Worst Line: This bastard's about to see how bad a battle can be.

    Final Results:
    Napoleon Dynamite: 15.5/20
    Napoleon Bonaparte: 18.5/20

    Total Score: 61.5/70
    Hi, I have just registered and I've been reading (I'm still reading, really) your reviews (which are great). Obviously, I disagree (and also agree) with you in a lot of things, but in this review I noticed something I'd like to point out.

    Dynamite's second verse focuses mainly on Bonaparte's height, but not completely. In fact, I think the "Why don't you freaking exile yourself on your little island and hide?" is the best Dynamite's line in the battle, because I think it mentions the only thing about Bonaparte that is more laughable than his height: his retirement. So, maybe you should reconsider this verse, but I will understand if you disagree, of course. :D

    Keep reviewing the ERB, you do it pretty well.

    (By the way, I'm Spanish, so sorry if my English is not perfect)

    EDIT: I just read the Gandalf vs Dumbledore re-review. I think the "I'll Expecto my Patronum on your face" line means that he will cum on his face.
    Last edited by Miru_Jaca; 06-11-2014 at 03:37 AM.

  2. #1082
    Clemi's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miru_Jaca View Post
    (By the way, I'm Spanish, so sorry if my English is not perfect)
    Oh great, a Spanish friend ! Hola and welcome from France ! :D
    Your English is really good, don't worry

  3. #1083
    Banned
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    Can you review Clemi and I's new battle?

    http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...288#post369288

  4. #1084
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's my review of Iceberg vs. Titanic (http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...217#post344217). Next is Ruth vs. Armstrong.
    Spoiler: 
    Iceberg: The fact that Iceberg goes first is already funny, considering it would only make complete sense for him to get the last word. There are a few somewhat clever lines in the first verse, like the floats your boat line, but in terms of what I laughed most at, the funniest were the bottom of the sea line, the actor line and the boobies line. I really like the rhyme-stretching in his second verse, and the short lines in the last verse. 8/10

    Titanic: I love when TJB characters randomly start yelling, like Titanic does at the beginning of his first verse. The Titanicem line is a pretty funny stretch, and the pot line is made even funnier with the typo. The second verse is even better. Almost all of it is pretty good. I also like the last verse trying to make a good verse out of having sunk. 8.5/10

    Bottom of the Ocean: A few of these lines are ever-so-slightly clever and they're followed by lines that are just absolutely stupid, which I think creates a nice balance. I also got a laugh out of the started from the bottom reference ending the battle. 9/10

    Avalugg: I didn't laugh at this verse quite as much as I did the other verses here, but I did find something very funny about the prom line and the random caps lock at the end. I always like when TJB people randomly go caps lock without anything setting them off. 7/10

    Sail Boat: I also like the short lines in TJB, it creates a hilariously terrible sound in my head. It helps that the lines are also usually hilariously stupid. The lines here from the wind line to the simply aren't line seem to all go together and take the verse off topic, which is pretty funny. The last lines are also really funny. 8.5/10

    Overall: For a TJB, this actually has a nice blend of different kinds of so-bad-it's-good humor. There are some bad puns, some just obvious generic insults thrown in there, some purposefully bad line flowing, it just has a lot of different laughs for a lot of different reasons. 8.5/10

    Iceberg's Funniest Line: You wanna crash into me? Whatever floats your boat
    Titanic's Funniest Line: I spit more hard disses then you smoke pot!
    Bottom of the Ocean's Funniest Line: I make all of the ladies wet
    Avalugg's Funniest Line: (Cause I fucked your mom) And went with her to the prom
    Sail Boat's Funniest Line: I've caught winds of your fart and boy they smell

    Final Results:
    Iceberg: 8/10 (equivalent to 16/20)
    Titanic: 8.5/10 (equivalent to 17/20)
    Bottom of the Ocean: 9/10 (equivalent to 18/20)
    Avalugg: 7/10 (equivalent to 14/20)
    Sail Boat: 8.5/10 (equivalent to 17/20)

    Total Score: 49.5/60 (equivalent to 41.5/50)

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  5. #1085
    Lohuydahutt's Avatar Senior Member
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    Thanks for the review :3

    Side Note: Are you just going to keep on only reviewing battles when the next ERB is coming out? :/

    Spoiler: 
    My life story:
    Spoiler: 


    Spoiler: 

    I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)

  6. #1086
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lohuydahutt View Post
    Thanks for the review :3

    Side Note: Are you just going to keep on only reviewing battles when the next ERB is coming out? :/
    No, I've just been really busy with exams the past few weeks. I'll make it a goal to review more frequently.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  7. #1087
    Lohuydahutt's Avatar Senior Member
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    Ah. Fair enough :3

    Side Note: I just had this REALLY random thought about EAP vs Stephen King's verse.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama View Post
    Edgar Allan Poe-Round 1: The opening line is a joke-less reference, and the second line isn't really a joke or a reference. Same goes for the third line, although the Beverly Cleary line is hilarious, and delivered really well with that goofy face. The Bram Stoker line isn't really that clever, but the Poe's poems line is that clever. I don't get the point in the sobbing line
    I think I get the sobbed in a rage line now. I mean, it seems sort of random and isn't really dissing Stephen King or praising himself in anyway but it actually connects really well to the following two lines. The point is that EAP's stories come from passion and struggles from his own experiences, while Stephen King "beats off to a page" and doesn't really give a shit at all about what his stories mean to him. So basically it's what EAP said in his first line in the second verse but in a way more eloquent and clever fashion. Or maybe I'm giving the line way too much meaning and context when there's little to be found *shrugs*

    Spoiler: 
    My life story:
    Spoiler: 


    Spoiler: 

    I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)

  8. #1088
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    I'm doing the Isaac Newton vs. Bill Nye review now since it just came out (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yis7GzlXNM). Next is Dion vs. Rob.
    Spoiler: 
    Beat: When I first heard the beat in the Monday Show, I thought it would be kind of wacky and goofy, but it actually turned out to be pretty intense sounding. It feels like a beat they would use for a finale. It's sciency-sounding, pretty catchy, and has a wide variety of instruments. My one possible complaint is that maybe it wasn't light-hearted enough. I mean, it is Weird Al against Bill Nye, it doesn't have to be the most serious thing in the world. 9/10

    Impressions and Costumes: I personally like Peter's Nye voice a fair amount. Maybe it's a bit too exaggerated, but it's a good effort, and you can tell who it's supposed to be. Chali 2na sounds perfect for Tyson, and Newton is British in parts, so no complaints there. Costumes are all perfect except for Tyson. What, was Chali just not willing to shave his beard? It just bugs me because if it weren't for the beard, he'd be a COMPLETE dead ringer for Tyson. So there's a ton of good in this category, but the beard knocks it down a notch. 8.5/10

    Sir Isaac Netwon-Round 1: The Beaker reference is pretty funny, although it kind of just shrugs off the bow tie thing. Heck, even Dante's hint would be a better bow tie joke. Something about being in a knot would be pretty clever. The gravity line isn't much of a joke, but the apple tree line is pretty good. The bach degree and unit of force are both fact-statey, not really jokes. The notion line is filler, but then there's the law of gravity reference which is pretty good, and followed up with the excellent sound effect line. The God's gift line is kind of clever, but not nearly as clever as the Dancing With The Stars reference. Good creation pun to end the verse. Definitely a few too many filler lines, but there's also a bunch of good stuff here. 9/10

    Bill Nye-Round 1: The first two lines aren't really jokes. They make a point, sure, and they set the tone for the verse, but I wouldn't call them good lines. The back half of your life line is a pretty good comparison, but much like the bow tie line, it's a good line that doesn't make any jokes about one of the most exploitable traits of one of the characters. He just says "You didn't have a wife lol" and doesn't really say anything about it. The next line is a much more clever way of handling it. The circle of friends line was truly an "ooh" line. The needle line is great, I'm glad they dug up that info. Mercury line isn't much of a joke, but the hypothesize line is pretty good. Again, not without its minor problems, but there are some real nice burns in this. 9/10

    Sir Isaac Newton-Round 2: After Nye had delivered an awesome first verse, I was wondering why the polls were so one-sided. Then this verse happened. The conclude line is good, nothing great. Classes line is alright, could've made a better joke about it. The opposite reaction line is maybe a bit obvious, but a great line nontheless. The last half of the verse is where Newton starts really schooling Nye. The accelerate and calculate lines are actually really clever. The line setting up the equation line actually manages to insult him while still managing to set up the line, which I always like. I like the equation quite a bit. It shows off his flow and intelligence, and makes Nye look like an idiot. Good lines and godly flow here. 9.5/10

    Neil deGrasse Tyson-Round 2: In defense of the brain line, it is at least clever, so I wouldn't call it the worst line of the battle. But I am confused as to why they'd deliberately have Nye's partner call Newton more intelligent. I mean, Nye never really tries to insult Newton's intelligence, so maybe it's trying to emphasize the point that intelligence doesn't matter when it comes to who's doing the most for the scientific community? I don't know, I just don't hate it. The badass line is kind of just throwing in the meme for the sake of having it in the battle. Now literally while I was doing the review I found out what the Hayden Planetary line as a reference to, aside from just Tyson's Hayden Planetarium that is. Hayden Panetierre had a song called "I Fly". So that line is really good. The equation solution isn't that clever, but man is it cool. I can't even explain why it's cool, it just is. And mind you I hate the word "swag". The Leibniz line isn't that good, unless there's some dagger reference I'm missing. The Harry Potter line is funny, and the universe line is a great closer. 9/10

    Overall: I don't really like how they sort of tossed Nye aside, but seeing Tyson in a battle was awesome, Weird Al is incredibly talented, and this battle is just awesome. I have my problems with it, but I just love so many elements of it (get it elements because science hahahahahaha), so this one's the best of the storm and going up on my favorites list, probably tied for 3rd favorite. 9/10

    Sir Isaac Newton's Best Line: I can calculate the weight and the size and the shape of the shadow of the mind you're standing in!
    Sir Isaac Newton's Worst Line: You wanna battle, guy? That's a crazy notion!
    Bill Nye's Best Line: Your work on orbits was exemplary, but your circle of friends was shoddy!
    Bill Nye's Worst Line: But now I do what I gotta do to make sure scientific thought can grow!
    Neil deGrasse Tyson's Best Line: And hiding up inside his attic on some Harry Potter business.
    Neil deGrasse Tyson's Worst Line: While Isaac Newton was lying and sticking daggers in Leibniz.

    Final Results:
    Sir Isaac Newton: 18.5/20
    Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson: 18/20
    Bill Nye: 9/10 (equivalent to 18/20)
    Neil deGrasse Tyson: 9/10 (equivalent to 18/20)

    Total Score: 63/70

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  9. #1089
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    You cannot hate swag.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  10. #1090
    Lohuydahutt's Avatar Senior Member
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    Frankly, if swag was used in ANY other context or way in an ERB I'd hate it, but for some reason it's just hilarious here

    Spoiler: 
    My life story:
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    Spoiler: 

    I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)

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