Presidential Reviews

[Spars]

Yes, yes, keep them coming.

EDIT: this too btw

http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...-Battles/page3

[@Dumbledore]

Next is Luis Suarez vs Edward Cullen

If you need help with references PM me.

[Samos]

Here’s my review of ERB Crazy’s Luis Suarez vs. Edward Cullen. Next is Clemi vs. BBGUN.

Spoiler: 

Luis Suarez-Round 1: The ref line is pretty clever, although there are much better Jacob lines you could make than this. The next two lines are more references than jokes. Upon further looking at it, the carnivore vegetarian line is funny, but the following line is really not much of a joke. The hundred years old virgin line is pretty funny, and the team Blade line isn’t bad either. 7.5/10

Edward Cullen-Round 1: The Alice line is a reference, sure, but it’s not that much of a dis. The dive line is really nice though, and the red cards line isn’t bad either. The schoolboy line is decent, but the last line is a bit of a miss for me, just because “destroying bad temper” is a bit awkwardly worded for me. 7.5/10

Luis Suarez-Round 2: Watching people sleep is a joke that really could’ve made for something good, but it just feels stated here and not joked about. The crowd and hat tricks lines aren’t really jokes either, while the gold pile line is pretty great, and the verse is completely redeemed at the end with the love story line and the Cedric Diggory line. 8.5/10

Edward Cullen-Round 2: “Kicking balls” is pretty clever. While the “bit a few people” thing gets a bit repetitive after being used in two consecutive lines, the team Edward line is pretty good, and the header line isn’t too bad either, even though two balls jokes for one verse seems a bit much. The Renesmee reference is decent, and the cheap rhymes line is alright too, so this verse is actually pretty great. 9/10

Overall: The last two verses are a lot stronger than the first two. You’re making a lot of jokes here, it’s just that a lot of them miss. So when you write a line, think “could this make someone laugh in real life?” and do that for every line, because some of these feel like stretches. Or just do whatever you did for the last two verses. 8/10

Luis Suarez's Best Line: My gold pile shines brighter than you in the sun
Luis Suarez's Worst Line: Hand balled a football got Uruguay to semifinal
Edward Cullen's Best Line: So you better fake a dive and stay put to the ground
Edward Cullen's Worst Line: Or else I'll show you my vampiric skills and how to get fouled

Final Results:
Luis Saurez: 16/20
Edward Cullen: 16.5/20

Total Score: 40.5/5

[@Dumbledore]

Glad you like it . For the first verse I said telepathetic instead of telepathic.

[Samos]

Here’s my review of Clemi vs. BBGUN. Next is Gunnut vs. King in the North.

Spoiler: 

BBGUN-Round 1: COMING SOON is pretty threatening, and the uzi line is pretty good too. I like the flocabulary line and the parody of the Poe’s poems line, while the rest of the verse is mainly references and not really jokes. Pretty impressive, actually. 8.5/10

Clemi-Round 1: The Gap line doesn’t do much for me, since I don’t see what Gap has to do with either of you, but the kindle line is pretty good. The big bad butt line is kind of predictable, and there are better “big bad” jokes to make. The Room reference seems a bit out-of-place, and the next two lines aren’t really references, but the “eating this morning” line is a pretty great reference, and the mad doge line is pretty nice too. Near the end of the verse, a few lines seem wasted, like the text files line and the porn line, but I like the realistic erb arts reference. 7.5/10

BBGUN-Round 2: This is unfortunately the weakest verse in the battle. The first line isn’t that bad, but I don’t really see how Clemi pretends to do any of that stuff. I also don’t like how the Crasher Vania parody is just brought up, not joked about or anything. To be fair, the real ERB did that with the cameos line, but still. The third line is just confusing and the last line doesn’t seem to have any references. 6.5/10

Clemi-Round 2: The first two lines are pretty good disses. The bad night line could’ve been a lot stronger. Putting lines in a different language can get boring if overdone, but in moderation like this one, it’s alright. The Tunecore line isn’t bad either, but the zyroda reference seems kind of random, and the rename line isn’t too impressive either. 8/10

Overall: There’s not much I can say about this aside from that this is a good battle, but it has a lot of jokeless references. References are good, and having too many is better than having none for sure, but you need to be careful to not just mention things. Work them into some classic insults or make puns about them or something. 7.5/10

BBGUN’s Best Line: Your raps are as mature as flocabulary! Snap!
BBGUN’s Worst Line: While this bitch just leaves opponents bored
Clemi’s Best Line: Dropped out our last duel, but can't drop a single valid pun
Clemi’s Worst Line: Pouty little kid with no skill as a writer

Final Results:
BBGUN: 15/20
Clemi: 15.5/20

Total Score: 38/50

[Samos]

Here’s my review of Gunnut vs. King in the North. Next is zyroda vs. JohnGoopy.

Spoiler: 

King in the North-Round 1: I found the BBGUN with a straight face line pretty clever, actually. The Dion’s teats line seems a bit random, the next line isn’t really a reference, the Rob line is kind of a broad reference, the next line is another filler and the next line isn’t a boast or a dis. The thirteenth forumer-architect line pair isn’t bad, but there aren’t really any jokes for the rest of the verse. 7/10

Gunnut_Doe-Round 1: The first three lines aren’t disses or boasts, so nothing too great there. The outside line isn’t brilliant, but it’s good enough. I found the next two lines pretty funny, but the rest of the verse is just references without jokes. 7.5/10

King in the North-Round 2: This verse is pretty much just jokeless references. The rapestickist line is alright, I guess, but the calculations line is pretty much just the same as the line from the original battle, just a bit forumized. I like the reference in the last line, but that’s pretty much it for this verse. 7/10

Clemi-Round 2: First line made me laugh, even if it isn’t really a dis or a boast. I’m going to put it under the same category as the “Did somebody say” lines, just because I want to give points for that. The Voltaire reference is pretty good, but the calculation response was kind of done before by Lohuy, and I don’t really get the plums line. The double account lines aren’t too clever, but they work as parodies, and the last line is good. 8/10

Overall: The battle suffers from a mix of two problems. One is that it often focuses more on parodying the lines than trying to make the lines clever as standalone line, and the other is that there are a lot of jokeless references that feel more like mentions. There are some exceptions in parts, but you’ll need to work on that in the future. 7.5/10

King in the North’s Best Line: (Of all the forum minds in history) They put BBGUN with a straight face up agaisnt me?
King in the North’s Worst Line: You waste time being a total phony
Gunnut_Doe’s Best Line: Your number of names is exemplary, but you're number of friends am tear! (Carlos Sagan: Oh!)
Gunnut_Doe’s Worst Line: Cause I figure that your about to get beat!
Clemi’s Best Line: Why don't pick up a brain your own size ? (Wait what)
Clemi’s Worst Line: As I don't cause I put the swag in plums

Final Results:
King in the North: 14/20
Gunnut_Doe: 7.5/10 (equivalent to 15/20)
Clemi: 8/10 (equivalent to 16/20)

Total Score: 37/50

[Moonjik]

http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...Shades-of-Josh

[GonadTheNomad]

Here’s my review of Gunnut vs. King in the North. Next is zyroda vs. JohnGoopy.

Spoiler: 

King in the North-Round 1: I found the BBGUN with a straight face line pretty clever, actually. The Dion’s teats line seems a bit random, the next line isn’t really a reference, the Rob line is kind of a broad reference, the next line is another filler and the next line isn’t a boast or a dis. The thirteenth forumer-architect line pair isn’t bad, but there aren’t really any jokes for the rest of the verse. 7/10

Gunnut_Doe-Round 1: The first three lines aren’t disses or boasts, so nothing too great there. The outside line isn’t brilliant, but it’s good enough. I found the next two lines pretty funny, but the rest of the verse is just references without jokes. 7.5/10

King in the North-Round 2: This verse is pretty much just jokeless references. The rapestickist line is alright, I guess, but the calculations line is pretty much just the same as the line from the original battle, just a bit forumized. I like the reference in the last line, but that’s pretty much it for this verse. 7/10

Clemi-Round 2: First line made me laugh, even if it isn’t really a dis or a boast. I’m going to put it under the same category as the “Did somebody say” lines, just because I want to give points for that. The Voltaire reference is pretty good, but the calculation response was kind of done before by Lohuy, and I don’t really get the plums line. The double account lines aren’t too clever, but they work as parodies, and the last line is good. 8/10

Overall: The battle suffers from a mix of two problems. One is that it often focuses more on parodying the lines than trying to make the lines clever as standalone line, and the other is that there are a lot of jokeless references that feel more like mentions. There are some exceptions in parts, but you’ll need to work on that in the future. 7.5/10

King in the North’s Best Line: (Of all the forum minds in history) They put BBGUN with a straight face up agaisnt me?
King in the North’s Worst Line: You waste time being a total phony
Gunnut_Doe’s Best Line: Your number of names is exemplary, but you're number of friends am tear! (Carlos Sagan: Oh!)
Gunnut_Doe’s Worst Line: Cause I figure that your about to get beat!
Clemi’s Best Line: Why don't pick up a brain your own size ? (Wait what)
Clemi’s Worst Line: As I don't cause I put the swag in plums

Final Results:
King in the North: 14/20
Gunnut_Doe: 7.5/10 (equivalent to 15/20)
Clemi: 8/10 (equivalent to 16/20)

Total Score: 37/50

YUS.

I WIN.

YUS.

[rangernumberx]

YUS.

I WIN.

YUS.

Actually, Clemi did.

[Lohuydahutt]

Actually, Clemi did.

To be fair, they were on the "same team" and Gunnut ALSO beat KITN