Presidential Reviews

[Samos]

Here’s my review of Funnybone’s Ariana Grande vs. Miranda Cosgrove. Next is GonadtheNomad vs. rangernumberx.

Spoiler: 

Miranda Cosgrove-Round 1: The first line is funny, albeit not much of a dis. Second line is too fact-statey, third line is too generic, but the fourth line is, again, funny despite not being too much of a dis. The nonna pun is amusing, the coco line is OK, and the scream mask is great, although the last line is kind of referenceless. 17/20

Ariana Grande-Round 1: The iCarly finale line works, and the tour bus line is pretty good too. The attention whore line is too generic, but the jellyfish line is good, if a bit obvious. The grand line is eh, the served line is kind of done-before and the last two lines don’t have really any specific references. 17/20

Miranda Cosgrove-Round 2: This verse was a bit too fact-statey and a bit too obvious for my liking. There’s no shortage of references, but the jokes mostly miss. There aren’t any BAD lines, but the things referenced here could’ve made for better jokes. 13.5/20

Ariana Grande-Round 2: I found the dropping cell phones line pretty funny, although the next line is way too generic an insult. A lot of the lines here reference things without making any clear insults, like the School of Rock line and the feline allergy line. The parking line and age limit line are both a bit awkwardly worded, but at least they’re good enough for a win. 14.5/20

Overall: There are a lot of references and a lot of jokes in this battle, and some of them make for very nice disses, while others hardly seem like disses at all, and feel forced. There’s also a line here and there that’s just too generic an insult and doesn’t really take any risks. For some reason, the first half of the battle seems to have less of these problems than the second half. Only put down a line if you personally like it and are proud of it, and take any other lines out. 15/20

Miranda Cosgrove’s Best Line: Put back on that scream mask, you looked more socially acceptable
Miranda Cosgrove’s Worst Line: If you where a boy you would sound like someone had ripped off one testicle
Ariana Grande’s Best Line: I'm dropping more rhymes, while your dropping cellphones in toilets
Ariana Grande’s Worst Line: Your piece of shit Icarly is gone and the world rejoices!

Final Results:
Miranda Cosgrove: 30.5/40
Ariana Grande: 31.5/40

Total Score: 77/100 (equivalent to 38.5/50)

[GonadTheNomad]

HYPE TRAIN

CHOO CHOOO-okay i'm done

[Moonjik]

Review Socrates v Confucius pls

http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...-Battles/page2

[GonadTheNomad]

If you can review my verses like a typical rewf, and Sane's for laugh factor, I'd appreciate it http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...939#post378939

[Samos]

Here’s my review of GonadtheNomad vs. rangernumberx. Next is Ariana Grande vs. Selena Gomez.

Spoiler: 

GonadTheNomad-Round 1: The first line’s pretty referenceless, but the gamete line is pretty clever. I kind of saw the ********* line coming, while the tea line, group cemetary line and Clemi lines are all pretty good references. 8.5/10

rangernumberx-Round 1: The “well then” thing at the beginning is rather obvious, but it works perfectly as a parody. The next two lines are kind of weird, as it seems like you shouldn’t have a limit on your “good rhymes”, and the name line seems like more of a compliment than a dis, but the marriage line is pretty good. The Weird Al reference is a bit random but not bad, and the last two lines are great. 9/10

GonadTheNomad-Round 2: The first line doesn’t seem to reference much, while the second line is alright. The third line is a generic insult, and the fourth line doesn’t make much of a dis or threat. I don’t know if you should bring up the BGO victories when you’re trying to make him look bad. The Rowan Atkinson line’s OK, but slightly random. I like the UK thing, but doing it two times so close to each other is kind of repetitive. 8/10

rangernumberx-Round 2: The first line is referenceless, but the reference to me is pretty good. The Teabaguette line is kind of oddly worded to the point that I can’t really tell what it’s talking about, but the last line is a nice little pun. 8/10

Overall: There are definitely some strong signs of improvement in this battle from both of you. There’s still a filler-y line here and there, and some lines still seem to do more parodying than being clever on their own, but the references are a lot more clever this time around, and prett much every line seems to be at least trying. 8.5/10

GonadTheNomad’s Best Line: I'll drown you in your own cup of tea
GonadTheNomad’s Worst Line: I pity the Brit who tries to step to the Gunnut; me!
rangernumberx’s Best Line: But this will end worse than your marriage to the Brazilian
rangernumberx’s Worst Line: What do you mean? My losses total none,

Final Results:
GonadTheNomad: 16.5/20
rangernumberx: 17/20

Total Score: 42/50

[Samos]

Here’s my review of Ariana Grande vs. Selena Gomez. Next is Beautiful Agony.

Spoiler: 

Selena Gomez-Round 1: The Break Free line and Come and Get it lines are decent, but they’re a bit too....basic, I suppose. It seems like they’re not quite complex enough to be the whole punchline, and the same thing goes for the Something I Don’t Know reference at the end of the verse. The whistling line is a bit of a stretch, as I’ve never heard the phrase “whistling cocks” before. I like the masochist line a lot though. The Sam and Cat line would be good if it rhymed with something, but here it just feels stranded. The German beer line is decent though. 8/10

Ariana Grande-Round 1: The first line’s not bad, albeit not brilliant or anything. As for the second line, like you said, pretty referenceless. The rain line could’ve been executed better, but I like what it was going for. I feel like the microphone reference would’ve been used better in a dis against Ariana than one of her boasts. The Sonny line is great, but the last line doesn’t really rhyme and is a bit of a random reference. 7/10

Alex Russo and Harper-Round 2: First line is pretty clever, but the Naturally reference feels more thrown in there than joked about. The Problem reference is pretty funny, but the “touched you” joke doesn’t seem like much of a dis, as getting touched isn’t really a bad thing. The last half of the verse feels a bit blunt, with a few pretty generic disses and a few jokeless references. 8/10

Cat-Round 2: Even though it had to be done, the first line is rather obvious, both in the catch phrase part and the Catastrophe pun. The cupcake thing seems a bit awkwardly worded to the point that it’s not too clear what’s being dissed. Really like The Slap line, but the Trina line doesn’t really have a good payoff at the end, and the Alex line is too referenceless. The swindled line is pretty clever, and while the brother thing could’ve made for a better joke, the butter sock line’s not bad. 8.5/10

Overall: What I like about this battle is that pretty much every line (with a few exceptions) makes some kind of reference. Not all of them are hits, as some of them just seem a bit thrown in there and not that natural, but I appreciate that kind of effort. While the battle is not flawless at all, it doesn’t really have many specific downsides either. Just a few average punchlines and a few grammar mistakes is all. 8/10

Selena Gomez’s Best Line: Only masochist, love the way that you make them feel
Selena Gomez’s Worst Line: I know you force an orgasm but you'd gain my respect
Ariana Grande’s Best Line: Pop your music career, you're like Sonny with no chance
Ariana Grande’s Worst Line: So if you wanna sing, stay in a bath, don't keep it loud
Alex Russo and Harper’s Best Line: Those boobs are my one less problem (guys have nowhere to stare)
Alex Russo and Harper’s Worst Line: I save the world for breakfast (this 7 year old ain't a threat)
Cat’s Best Line: I'll The Slap.com you, with five fingers to the face
Cat’s Worst Line: And Alex, is a classic example of a guy's name

Final Results:
Selena Gomez, Alex Russo and Harper: 16/20
Ariana Grande and Cat: 15.5/20

Total Score: 39.5/50

[Turtlesauce]

http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...l=1#post379236

Review this jewel

[Katz]

Sam
Can you review my lion battle royale?
http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...d=1#post379247

[Samos]

Here’s my review of Beautiful Agony, which I will not link here. Next is the beginning of an unnamed fantasy novel.

Spoiler: 

Time I have for this: 0/10

Words I have for this: 0/10

Words I have for the person who made this: 10/10

Bonus for the Transformation 11/10

Final Results:
no

Total Score: 21/40 (equivalent to no/50)

[Samos]

Here’s my review of The Beginning of WardenoftheNorth’s Unnamed Fantasy Novel. Next is a song.

Spoiler: 

First Part: I was immediately impressed by the first few sentences alone. There’s so much to take in that you would think it’d get confusing, but somehow, it seems pretty easy to keep up with. There’s a lot of detail in the descriptions that really allows you to visualize what’s happening. I don’t really like how the Kelleran backstory breaks the dialogue, and it seems like it could have been given at a different point in the story, but the backstory is still interesting, and the dialogue seems pretty realistic. 17.5/20

Second Part: The debate at the beginning is pretty interesting, and it creates a bit of uncertainty over whether it will become important later on or not. Well-used figurative language and character introductions keep this part interesting, even if some parts kind of drag. 16.5/20

Grammar: Judging this out of only 10 because it’s not that important, but I didn’t notice any errors after double checking. That’s actually pretty rare for stories on this site. 10/10

Total Score: 44/50