Presidential Reviews

[Samos]

Can u plz review Yn Vs Me?

Spoiler: 

Yellownerd-Round 1 :
You've never seen a mod quite like the same as that of YellaNella!
Banning bots like Hella, warning bad users like a MothaFatha!
So much chat post that can fill up your entire ego, BB. You're not a challenge BB.
People don't even know what you're doing in this forum BB!
The first half of this verse doesn’t really have many references or jokes.
So Kame-hame-ha, you big bad bitch
I really like how perfectly this parodies the original.
Man, you sound like a crack whore with a giant lisp
Seems pretty filler.
I'm editing like a pro while banning evil, you couldn't make a cover even with Adobe, fuck!
Not sure if you were going for something with the “editing” and “cover” things being in the same line. If that was intentional, it’s kind of clever, otherwise it’s fairly standard.
I'm flowing with power and matter of fact you can't match my skill, So let me just point and laugh
I don’t think there’s any reference in this line.
Score: 6.5/10

BBGUN-Round 1:
When I was banned, you were a threat to me. I had to do what I had to do;
Now you're like the erboh forum to me.Bitch, I'll hack and troll you,
Pretty funny parody line. Kind of a self-dis, but still clever.
This ain't the artist that you're used to.
I advertise a series, online , like I'm youtube.
Not really a boast or dis.
My fanmade art make your fairytales incapacitated ,
Don’t see a real joke here.
The head of R2D is gonna get decapitated.
This is a pretty funny pun.
You failed at making games, and you failed at making reviews,
You should stick to what you're good at and write some poo!
This joke doesn’t come off as very well thought out. Could’ve been a better writer joke
(OH!) Here's a fact that might make you crazy!
I read none of your shit, yet I post it on wiki!
Again, not much of a dis or boast.
Got the five star covers that were made to display,
You're a terrible writer; dressed in cosplay!
You talk shit about my covers; that is cray cray!
These are all pretty generic lines that don’t go very far with the references.
But you can suck on deez dragon balls;I know you like anime!
I’ve heard this joke before, but it’s not that bad.
Score: 7/10

Yellownerd-Round 2:
Ah! You act like you know it all, That's so embarrassing
Fairly filler.
You're the baddest thing to happen to the forum since Brad joining!
Funny. Not the BEST line that could’ve been made to parody the original, but it’s good.
I'm waving my Asian Flag, Your flag i dangle.
What exactly is BBGUN’s flag?
I got log on my team that even you couldn't handle
I like how this parodies the original line. It’s not super clever on its own though.
Dodge all your insults like my ex girlfriend's phonecalls
Pretty dang funny. I’m not sure if it’s a specific reference to something that’s been mentioned on the forum but I’ll take it.
You can't insult someone , you freaking goofball!
Just filler.
Score: 7.5/10

BBGUN-Round 2:
See the kind of art there'd be if it wasn't for me?
but tom’s art is so good Funny, although it doesn’t work as well as the Angel joke because Tom’s art isn’t the butt of any jokes the way Angel is.
I should remind you that rapping is not supposed to be crappy!
Very filler feeling.
While you waste time teaching right and wrong,
I'm up all night getting my 4AM swag on!
Decent parody of the original line.
You should just retire, you haven't made a hit,
Not since the accident, so suck a breaking dick!
Really nice double reference.
(Uh!) I'm finish serving up this bad night's dinner:
Good set up.
This fried chicken with a side of little weiner!
[B]The yellow=cowardly thing is a pretty big stretch.[B]
Score: 7.5/10

Overall: Its biggest problem is the filler lines. Every line should have a specific reference to one of the two rappers. When the reference and the joke come together in this battle, it comes out pretty funny. 7/10

Yellownerd’s Worst Line: People don't even know what you're doing in this forum BB!
Yellownerd’s Best Line: So Kame-hame-ha, you big bad bitch
BBGUN’s Worst Line: This ain't the artist that you're used to.
BBGUN’s Best Line: (You should just retire, you haven't made a hit,) Not since the accident, so suck a breaking dick!

Final Results:
Yellownerd: 14/20
BBGUN: 14.5/20

Total Score: 35.5/50

[echo]

An oldie: Can you review "Me vs Clemi", written by Wumbo (as me) and Gunnut (as Clemi)?
Linkerino

[Turtlesauce]

Could you pls review this? :3

[Klonoa]

Aw, heck. Might as well get some feedback, hm? Do you mind reviewing my first rap battle, which I lovingly call "Hey look... I made a rap battle."? It's pretty easy to find. It's Corrin vs Robin. Thx!

[Miru_Jaca]

Could you review Whitney Avalon's Princess Rap Battles? I'd love that!

[Samos]

Here's my review of the East vs. West Philosophers. Next is one of Umb's songs.

Spoiler: 

Beat:
Relevance-It sort of fits the personalities given to the characters more than it fits the actual figures themselves. I wasn’t BLOWN AWAY by how much it fits, but I don’t see any big issues here. 2/2.5
Catchiness-It’s kinda catchy? Doesn’t really stick with you too much. 1.5/2.5
Intensity-Definitely doesn’t start intense, but it definitely finishes intense, so I’m fine on this front. 2.5/2.5
Variety-It has a lot of slight little changes as the battle progresses, and by the end you can hardly tell it’s the same beat as the beginning. 2.5/2.5
Overall: It’s not phenomenal or bad. It just gets the job done fine. 8.5/10

Costumes:
Western Philosophers-Socrates looks pretty perfect. Nietzche looks hilarious, although they made his hair a bit too even (Nietzche did not have very symmetrical hair). Voltaire looks good, Sherwin even looks like him a bit. 2/2.5
Eastern Philosophers: We barely know what any of them look like. The costumes are all cool. I’m not really sure what they were basing the Confucius off but I’ll take it. 2.5/2.5

Impressions:
Western Philosopers-I guess a German accent would’ve been OK for Nietzche? I really don’t care. 2.5/2.5
Eastern Philosophers-They sound cool. 2.5/2.5

Western Philosophers-Round 1:
I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium.
The only real joke here is that pandemonium is a Greek word as I understand it. Not really too impressive, a lot of words are.
Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium!
This is pretty clever, I guess.
The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention!
Feels too fact statey.
Rolling with the flyest nihilist, and me, their French henchman!
Decent little wordplay, not too clever on its own.
We've got the wisdom and the wit that even I couldn't question!
Dropping Western medicine on these East infections!
Two very solid references.
It's evident you've never been our type of mental brethren!
We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men!
These are both rather filler. No real jokes, it just sounds kind of cool.
Overall: There are two major disses, and then a few other decent references to boost it up a bit. 8.5/10

Eastern Philosophers-Round 1:
This type of arrogance is sure to be expected
From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is!
Kind of a decent comparison line, but not too clever.
You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life.
You lack control of yourselves and of the mic.
This is pretty good.
While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration,
Kinda cool with Sun Tzu’s visuals, not too great on its own.
Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations!
Pretty funny.
We filled a nation with patience and the presence for living,
And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written!
Is the joke that candles come from China? The line’s OK if that’s the case I guess, just not really too specific.
Overall: Like the last verse, there are two real stand out lines. In general though, the average line in this verse is a bit below the average line in the western verse. 8/10

Western Philosophers-Round 2:
Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to
This is a really awesome set up line.
When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu!
Very glad this was referenced. It is indeed funny.
You need to take control of the life you're given!
This is also pretty good for a set up line. Clever comparison of their philosophies.
They call me Übermensch 'cause I'm so driven!
Pretty great. Not sure if the “call me” was intentional, but it’s a good line either way. If I were grading these verses individually, I might give this one a 10, or at the very least a 9.5.
And I'm a freethinker, so confronting conformists like you? It's my job!
Another very decent set up line.
Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab!
(Oh!) You flubbed the mission. I'm beating your submissive ass into submission!
I like puns, so yeah, I like these. They’re not brilliant, they’re just funny, and they really have that Sherwin distinction where you can tell he was the one who wrote these lines.
Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing!
Funny, but pretty simplistic, and doesn’t really seem like the joke required too much effort. This verse would probably get a 9 if I were reviewing it on its own, since all of the lines are above average, but none of them are really big laughs.
Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move on to Jackie Chan!
This battle is GREAT with set up lines.
Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man!
This is like a triple reference. I love this line.
The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic; all your men must be like, "Yo, what happened?"
Probably the weakest line in this verse, although it’s far from bad. It’s just not much of a reference or dis.
You're pitiful lyrically. Lucky for history, you didn't author The Art of Rapping!
Pretty good. Not the best Art of War reference, but it’s good.
Overall: For a verse this long, it’s pretty impressive how close this verse is to perfect. I don’t want to quite go that far, as some of these lines are a little lackluster, but it’s about as close as you can get. 9.5/10

Eastern Philosophers-Round 2:
Bitch, I wrote The Art of War so you better get your guns out!
Decent, not a big laugh or anything.
These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now, the Sun's out!
This battle doesn’t have as many racial jokes as I was expecting. This one’s funny.
Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS!
Funny, but the wording kind of distracts from the boast, which is the point of the line.
Laozi, kick the beat; now Confucius, drop some bars!
I guess this line was necessary for the next few lines, and I like the whole commander thing Sun Tzu has going on. It’s just that this line on its own isn’t very good.
Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire,
Another nice set up line.
French drip with the egg noodle hair.
Some nice, subtle references here.
Your ego's just so distracting.
Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping!
Nice dis on his philosophy.
And you killed God so I gotta ask:
Did he die of shame when he made your mustache?
I think this was my first big laugh of the battle.
You tried to plant a new German psyche,
But you just grew hate; me no Third Reichy!
This was also pretty funny after I completely got it.
And it all starts with you: you're the father, Socrates!
Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology!
Pretty nice reference.
Overall: The set up lines in this verse aren’t as strong as in the western verse, but this verse is also really excellent. 9.5/10

Western Philosophers-Round 3:
I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe.
Funnier than the pandemonium line but not much more clever.
Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi,
Nice pun+double meaning.
'Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E,
And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee!
The biggest laugh ERB’s given me since Michael Bay.
Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip!
Seems like Socrates shouldn’t be referencing this, although there is something badass about him making a boast about his own death.
Hang a sandal on the door 'cause you can suck Soc's dick!
Clever way of saying “suck my dick”.
Sacré bleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense!
Come, let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment!
Classic Sherwin wordplay. Again, not extremely clever, but well written and fun.
I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery!
Fairly fact statey.
You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee!
Funny, but pretty basic.
Let me be frank: don't start beef with the Frank,
Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks!
I think I laughed at just how over-the-top Sherwinish this line was. Although this is probably more clever than any of his other lines in this battle.
Overall: An example of storytelling done right in ERB. Some of the biggest laughs of the battle. I’m kind of stuck between a 9 and a 9.5 but I’ll be generous because of how much I laughed. 9.5/10

Eastern Philosophers-Round 3:
I have turned them on themselves. Their chaos is our opportunity!
Pretty decent reference.
We must remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty.
This is pretty confusing, I’m really not sure what the point is here. But I guess that’s the point.
(Ugh!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect,
A bit more clever than it would be in most battles given the people rapping.
But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense!
I laughed pretty hard at this too.
Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today.
I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way!
This is a pretty funny reference.
Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written
That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens?
I actually think the set up line here is more clever than the payoff.
Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place.
Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face?
Keeping the laughter chain going.
Okay, I see. You wanna make it like that?
I don’t know why I laughed at this line, but I did. Maybe it’s just the delivery, either way, it’s pretty much just filler.
I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat!
So here's the real golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies.
Confucius say, you can all hold these fortune cookies!
I basically laughed at all 3 of these lines. And they’re all fairly clever too.
Overall: This was probably more enjoyable overall than the western squabbling. Confucius almost saves the battle for the easterners, but it’s not enough to beat the western advantage in the first two rounds. 9.5/10

Ungraded Stuff:
Idea-The match-up itself is pretty cool. The choices are pretty strong overall on both sides. But the whole concept of having them all go against each other at the end is the most brilliant part of this whole battle idea.
Presentation-Probably the only place where this battle is weaker than the last 3. It’s definitely not ugly, this video is actually a lot of fun in terms of mannerisms and background and stuff. It’s just that the last 3 had all these beautiful effects.

Overall: This one is definitely a classic. It starts off a little slow, but the last few verses are just consistent laughter and fun. Its only flaws are extremely minor ones that don’t ruin the battle at all. I can’t sing enough praise about this one, really. 9/10

Socrates’ Best Line: Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man!
Socrates’ Worst Line: The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention!
Nietzche’s Best Line: And I’ll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee!
Nietzche’s Worst Line: I wouldn’t exactly call myself a student of this plebe
Voltaire’s Best Line: (Let me be frank, don’t start beef with the Frank) Who hangs with B. Franks giving ladies beef franks!
Voltaire’s Worst Line: Sacrébleu, Socrates, you’re making things a little tense!
Confucius’ Best Line: (And you killed God, so I gotta ask) Did he die of shame when he made your mustache?
Confucius’ Worst Line: Your ego’s just so distracting
Sun Tzu’s Best Line: (Ugh, Laozi, I don’t mean no disrespect) But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense!
Sun Tzu’s Worst Line: And it all starts with you! You’re the father Socrates!
Lao Tzu’s Best Line: You lack control of yourselves, and of the mic.
Lao Tzu’s Worst Line: You westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life.

Final Results:
Western Philosophers: 27.5/30
Eastern Philosophers: 27/30

Total Score: 81.5/90 (equivalent to 63.33/70)

[Samos]

Two requests:

- Any of my songs that you want
http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...achibi-s-Music


- My game reviews thread if you do those :P
http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...-Review-Thread

Spoiler: 

Your Song: I chose to review "Monster". Like Sparts said, it does sound like some kind of heavy metal song, which is cool. A lot of different ideas for possible music in the background come to my head. The lyrics are at times confusing, which is sometimes good and sometimes bad. Some lyrics like "It isnt the real me" kind of fuzz up the message of the song, since I can't really tell if you're saying the monster is the real you or if the monster isn't really you (unless that kind of unsureness is what you were going for). But some of them are pretty good metaphors ("So many times I've tried to break free", "Teeth razor sharp") that really make you think about the meaning, which is the mark of a good song. So yeah, I like it. It's not really the type of music I myself would listen to, but for what it is, it's pretty interesting.

Your Review Thread: Your reviews themselves are very enjoyable. They're funny, fairly in depth and have a lot of personality. So I'll be focusing on the presentation of the reviews aside from the content of the reviews. There are some grammar and spelling errors, but they definitely don't distract from anything or make it much harder to read or anything, they just give it a more casual feel, which I personally like.

The biggest issue I think with the thread is that sometimes the "Gameplay" sections of your reviews look really long and will certainly make a lot of people go "tl;dr". But that doesn't at all mean you should shorten the paragraph or cut down on anything, you should definitely say everything you want to say (and Gameplay is definitely the section you should have the most to say about). It's just that you might want to put some spaces in between the lines (like above) to separate the different thoughts so it doesn't look as much like a text wall. I'm guilty of that kind of thing myself sometimes, admittedly. Just make sure to take a look at the post previews and make sure it looks like something people will want to actually read the whole thing of. Again, the reviews themselves are a lot of fun, you just want to make sure they look organized enough for people to want to read them.

[echo]

Gunnut vs Turtle RFWF pls ty? :3

[Lohuydahutt]

Sam, I want a LINE BY LINE review of Shaka Zulu vs The Beatles =P

[Samos]

hello samba juice

can you please review

https://soundcloud.com/mancha-4/46nkvrmd

Spoiler: 

Beat:
Relevance-The first beat is very upbeat and bouncy, which at first I thought only fit for Ronald, but then I kinda thought about it more and I decided it fits a killer clown pretty well too. And Sideshow Bob’s beat is definitely perfect for him. 2.5/2.5
Catchiness-The first beat is definitely catchy enough. Sideshow Bob’s beat doesn’t really have much of a consistent tune, so it’s a little forgettable. 2/2.5
Intensity-The first beat gets a little intense at the end, but it doesn’t get me super excited or anything. Second beat is all intense. 2/2.5
Variety-It’s got enough for me personally. Plus, having more than one beat always raises my score in this category. 2.5/2.5
Score: 9/10

Voices:
Ronald McDonald-I like the voice, it fits him, but it’s not accurate to the voice he has in McDonalds commercials. 2/3.3
Needles Kane-Not spot on, but close enough for sure. 3.3/3.3
Sideshow Bob-Again, definitely close enough. 3.3/3.3
Score: 8.7/10

Ronald McDonald-Round 1:
Hello, sir, welcome to McDonalds, let me kick your ass!
Funny, not super clever.
I’m on pins and needles, see, no Napalm Cones will blow this rap!
Doesn’t “on pins and needles” mean “in suspense”? Doesn’t really work for the rest of the line.
You bite off more than you can masticate, and thus it’s time I castigate
I bring joy and toys to children, but it’s clear that you just masturbate
I’m not really picking up any specific references in these two lines. Flow’s pretty decent though.
So I race to the challenge to make your Tower collapse, oh!
I like the line alright, the “oh” at the end feels a bit tacked on for a rhyme but I guess it doesn’t take away from the line or anything.
With no friends and your revenge, you’re alone like Calypso!
Not the most complex Calypso joke that could be made.
Time to meat your maker, Sweetie, don’t worry, we’re well preserved
Add a roadster to the list of all the billions that I’ve served
Very strong finish, two nice references.
Score: 8/10

Sweet Tooth-Round 1:
Ice cream! You scream, we all scream for...me!
Pretty obvious reference, but pretty good.
So come face me Head-On, I’ll show you how Twisted I can be!
Nice double reference.
I don’t need a Big Rap for me to get up in your grill
I like the reference, I’m just not sure how this is a dis or a boast or anything.
Screaming E-I-E-I-OH SHIT until right before you’re killed!
Funny.
Three months in the nuthouse beats a dinner at your restaurant
Not super clever, but it’s insulting and a reference, so I’ll take it.
My truck will fuck you up, besides Harold, that’s all I’ll ever want!
Decent reference.
Call me a pedophile when you pull in kids with goofy games?
Fairly obvious joke to make.
I’ll break your legs and leave you wrecked until you’re walking with a Kane!
Pretty simple pun, but I like it.
Score: 9/10

Ronald McDonald-Round 2:
Don’t order me around now, want some fries with that salty?
This is pretty great.
Marcus you for death and then I’ll rebuke your ribaldry!
The Marcus pun is alright, but the line is overall pretty simple.
Kick a chicken quick who came betwixt me and my company
And I predict that like a trick you’d like to lick my Mickey D’s!
Great flow, and pretty good punchline at the end of it.
Hide the Grimace you’ll be wearing from your wasted Twisted wish
Crush you like the bug you will be after your Metamorphosis
Very smart references.
To diss a bitch? I’m loving it! So let’s see how it feels
Was hoping for a more complex “I’m loving it” joke.
when you eat up what I dished out, call this rap “Unhappy Meal!”
Not the greatest Happy Meal reference you could make, but I like it fair enough.
Score: 8.5/10

Sweet Tooth-Round 2:
Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry? Your death will be quite flavorful
To sue me? Please. You harle-can’t, for clearly you’re incapable
Raps flowing like sugar, but trust me, I’m not Sweet, dude!
You call my murders grisly but, hey, what about your fast food
Four strong puns to open up the verse.
Only my verses are colder than my heart and frozen treats
The “ice cream=cold disses” thing is a pretty obvious joke to make.
So you better listen up, Ronny, ‘cause you are what you eat
Break your McRibs, can’t stomach this, digest your McNuggets? Hell,
Take your pink slime and your MSG and go McFuck yourself
Very strong finish with these finishing lines. The last line is probably the biggest laugh of the battle.
Score: 9.5/10

Sideshow Bob-Round 3:
Bad language and abuse is truly something that I rarely use
But I’ve sunk my soul into my views Pina-for a way that I can let loose
The Pina-for pun is decent, I’m not sure if it alone is good enough to carry this whole line though.
Underdunk shall undertake a quest to crush you underfoot
The “alliteration” here is pretty good.
And given these, I say with ease, that trouble now is quite afoot!
Hammer hams with superior Grammer, a brush with death for rotten Tooth
Pretty smooth mixing of references and puns here, I really like it.
No prison dares to house the man hell-bent on beating Barts like you
Decent boast+dis line. I don’t really hear “Bart” used very often outside of The Simpsons as a normal insult though.
Honestly, your prior verses were naught but a Sideshow
Whereas the final act was masterminded by the slapstick psycho!
This line pair is a bit obvious, but it’s worded in a clever way that really well with the format of this battle.
I’ll serve you up, a proper meal, better than the rhymes you brung
Not a very specific reference, if I’m not missing anything.
Though when I choose to start to chew a funny taste should grace my tongue
Also not to my knowledge an extremely specific reference, but the flow in this line is awesome.
Ye be beasts, ironically, yes, now I am most animal
So given that, this aftermath shall not make me a cannibal
Kind of clever, but lacking in references (unless I’m missing something, which is totally possible).
Score: 8.5/10

Ungraded Stuff:
Idea-I actually like how everything in this battle is formatted. The original match-up is well-balanced, Krusty’s cameo makes sense, and Sideshow Bob works pretty well as the 3rd party. I think the initial match-up is good enough that it didn’t really need a 3rd party, but I think it definitely added to the battle in this case.
Presentation-I like the use of all the different Sweet Tooth forms. At first I found it a bit disjointed, but after rewatching I think it’s a nice touch. Just generally all around very high production value, as usual.

Overall: It’s definitely possible I missed a lot of references in this one, so forgive me there, but even if I’m not this was all pretty enjoyable. Some of the really obvious references were put into fairly obvious jokes. Still, the wordplay is really well written, and the audio is pretty excellent. 8.5/10

Ronald McDonald’s Worst Line: You bite off more than you can masticate, and thus it’s time I castigate
Ronald McDonald’s Best Line: Add a roadster to the list of all the billions that I’ve served
Needles Kane’s Worst Line: So you better listen up, Ronny, ‘cause you are what you eat
Needles Kane’s Best Line: Take your pink slime and your MSG and go McFuck yourself
Sideshow Bob’s Worst Line: I’ll serve you up, a proper meal, better than the rhymes you brung
Sideshow Bob’s Best Line: Hammer hams with superior Grammer, a brush with death for rotten Tooth

Final Results:
Ronald McDonald: 16.5/20
Needles Kane: 18.5/20
Sideshow Bob: 8.5/10=17/20

Total Score: 69.7/80=61/70