Presidential Reviews

[Poles]

I don't think I've seen this much praise for this battle before. :P
I guess it kinda comes down to what you like. A lot of the things you said were funny/clever weren't at all to me (ex: "That's probably not something you seen as a child", "Beautiful women all up on my jock", a lot of Cait's last verse really)
I'd probably rank everything here lower than you but yeah

review this pls http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...l=1#post440161

[Moonjik]

Great review m8, do Ivan vs the Greats :D

[Samos]

I don't think I've seen this much praise for this battle before. :P
I guess it kinda comes down to what you like. A lot of the things you said were funny/clever weren't at all to me (ex: "That's probably not something you seen as a child", "Beautiful women all up on my jock", a lot of Cait's last verse really)
I'd probably rank everything here lower than you but yeah

review this pls http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...l=1#post440161

I didn't really do a great job at explaining why I found those specific lines funny, but basically the "probably not something you seen" thing is OK for me because it kinda helps make more sense out of the Barney line and turns the point of the line from a "lol you wear purple like Barney" into a jab at Banner's rough childhood. It creates a funny mental image for me of Banner going to a Barney-themed kids party and then getting so jealous that he turns into the Hulk. I didn't give it full points or anything, I just thought it deserved more points that your average filler line.

And the jock thing I liked just cause I've heard the phrase "up on my jock" used a lot by dudebros describing chicks they get but it has a double meaning with Jenner because she's an actual athlete who wore jockstraps. Again, not brilliant, doesn't get full points, just better than filler IMO.

[Samos]

Here's my review of Yugi Moto vs. Shigeru Miyamoto by Mooncat.

Spoiler: 

Yugi Moto-Round 1:
Bitch I'm super special awesome! Make like Donkey Kong and barrel roll
Not bad, but there are much better Abridged Series jokes to make.
Don't need no shadow game, your corporation's already taken your soul!
Good.
I've got the heart of the cards, you're a heartless corporate tool
Not bad, not genius either.
Let's throw-down Miyamoto, it's time to D-D-D-D-DUEL!!*
This line needed to happen, but it could’ve been handled better.
The souls of the gods manifest themselves in me
Generic boast.
While you're relegated to Nintendo's gameboy at E3
Funny but not super clever.
I'm more legendary than Zelda, fly higher than Kid Icarus
Could’ve been better jokes about these references.
No-one's escaped my Egyptian trap cards since Moses!
Kind of a random reference. Not too much in common aside from Egypt.
You're a fami-conman and your graphics are sparse
I like the famiconman pun a lot.
Kids would rather play Yu-Gi-Oh! than with Hanafuda cards
Could’ve been a better Hanafuda reference.
Even in your sex hotels you won't find no loving
Funny.
Just your face caused Japan's birth-rates to plummet!
lol

Verse Overview: Several strong lines, also a good amount of filler. 8.5 probably.

Round 2:
Urgh!*
You've ended your turn without an attack?
Nice.
In fact, you've played nothing with your sub-par rap
It's a millenial puzzle as to how you got so popular
Great use of this reference.
With a dude in a green skirt and some mustachioed plumber
Generic insults.
You look like a randomized mii and your games are really shitty
The randomized mii thing is really funny, the second part of this line is very basic.
My Nile snake's much larger than your li'l 8-bitty!
Great 8-bit pun.

Verse Overview: Very good considering how few lines are in this and how many of them are good. 9.25-9.75.

Overall: 17.25/20

Shigeru Miyamoto:
Round 1:
I don't need fancy graphics or 18+ ratings
To own the biggest market share in vidya gaming!
Generic boast.
You're more neckbeard than Magic at a Renaissance Fair
This joke kinda misses for me. “More neckbeard” would be funnier if he actually had a neckbeard.
Sega's at the door again; Super Sonic wants his hair
Good but a little obvious.
You're five foot two with your shoes and your mascara is running
Funny physical appearance digs.
From the NES to the DS to the NX I'm always gunning
References without real jokes.
You're nothing! You're about to face my super smash
Pretty obvious joke.
Your life points will get depleted faster than parent's cash
When their kids see my amazing stash of games galore
Clever.
And they forget about your soggy, cheap cardboard
Kind of generic insult, but I think calling the cards “cardboard” is kinda clever.
Synchros, Pendulum and XYZ; face it, you're washed up
Generic insult.
Cardgames on motorcycles won't win you the mushroom cup!
Decent reference.

Verse Overview: No real zingers, just a handful of decent, above average references. Definitely a 7.

Round 2:
I'm on the attack, you better switch to defence
Good.
Even Dahvie Vanity would laugh at your fashion sense!
Random reference, doesn’t really have much to do with either rapper.
You've got another dude inside you, bitch that's gay as hell
lol
I like the concept but I think the whole “dude inside you” pun could’ve been handled in a more clever way. Still funny.
I bet you shop at Hot Topic for your apparel
Pretty obvious joke.
Your baby-face has no place in my systems so can it
Basic line.
Guess American soccer-moms are right - I do spit Satanic!
I like it.

Verse Overview: Definitely seems like you step up your average when there are less lines to work with. 8.75ish.

Overall: 14.75/20

Overall Battle: Good battle, you definitely do have a comedic sense and awareness of what’s funny, which is really important for these battles and often times something that can’t be taught. I think there’s a little too much generic insulting, and some of these references could be used much more efficiently. You want every line to be the type of line someone can admire and be like “wow that was clever”, ideally. 8/10

Yugi Moto’s Worst Line: The souls of the gods manifest themselves in me
Maybe this line could’ve set up a decent joke, but I really don’t see a purpose of it being here.
Yugi Moto’s Best Line: My Nile snake's much larger than your li'l 8-bitty!
When all else fails a good pun is always a great path to take. Honorable mentions are corporation soul and millenial puzzle.
Shigeru Miyamoto’s Worst Line: I’m on the attack, you better switch to defence
Best use of any reference by Miyamoto. Honorable mention is dude inside you.

Winner: Yugi Moto (17.25/20) over Shigeru Miyamoto (14.75/20)

Total Score: 40/50

[Samos]

I repeat this

http://genius.com/Bolly-all-i-can-ask-for-lyrics

Spoiler: 

Beat: Obviously I can't judge this on the same scale as ERBs because it's not a rap battle, and it doesn't have to be intense or catchy or whatever. It just has to fit the lyrics, and this beat definitely does. It's a little soothing and reassuring, with a feeling of depth. I like it.

Lyrics: It's kind of hard to follow, there's not really a clear plot progression, but that's definitely not a sure negative. Some of the more clever, impactful lines don't really come until the second verse. The lines in the hook are also really powerful, and a really good message to send. A lot of people out there would probably benefit from a song asking them to be thankful for what they have instead of being upset over the wrong things in people's lives.

Audio/Flow: The flow for the first few lines sound a little too energetic and loud for this song. I think this song is more powerful in the parts where the lines are delivered kind of quietly and subtley, like the "Friends family in the corner" parts. Sometimes it works, like sounding really excited over the second "I woke up this morning" works for the song and the message. The second verse is quieter and I like the way it sounds more for it, although I'm not sure how I feel about the flow for the "fall for it/all for it" part. I've listened to it a few times, sometimes I think it sounds cool, sometimes it sounds really off to me. Overall though, I do like the way your voice sounds when you're rapping.

[FoolMeNever]

Could you review my latest ERB once I post it? It'll be up tomorrow, but, I figured I'd reserve a slot.

EDIT: Battle is up: http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...l=1#post440753

[Samos]

Hasn't been a review in a while because of the musical I was in and because I spent a lot of time on the last TDFE challenge, but here's my review of the REWF with LAWL, Klonoa, and Mooncat.

Spoiler: 

Moon Bond:
Round 1:
I've battled Polar and Brine and Clem and Turtle with his dildoes
But they were not as squinty and closed-off as your eyes, bro!
Decent parody of the original.
I bet your rhymes sound like someone banging pans and pots
Not bad, a little too subtle for a joke this shallow (shallow jokes are fine, but I think that jokes like that are best when they’re just blatant and open).
All your OC's couldn't blast raps at this brown Scot
References without really any jokes.
Don't need permission from the mods to become a god; it's in my veins
Could’ve maybe been a better god joke.
I take bubblebaths with ladies, you need a forum game to date!
Pretty great dis.
After 23,000 posts I'm not too tired to spit
Decent boast.
You're more tedious than sitting through reading Cryonic
Maybe could’ve been a better Cryonic joke but this one’s good enough.
Mooncat's my name! But I'm no stray so please don't chow mein me
Probably the best racist joke so far.
You're so Asian you'd commit seppuku if you got a B
Not really that clever.
I'm Asian too from my head to my paws and after this flow I've done
Makes all your Asian jokes look a little hypocritical.
It's the survival of the most fabu-loud, and I've won!
This line doesn’t feel referency enough, if that makes sense. This is a very small reference.

Verse Overview: A few good ones, but kind of lacking in really strong jokes. 8.

Rest of the Battle:
Urgh I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this chink!
I should be chilling in Scotland with Josh and some other twinks
Sipping fire whiskey and running a 7/11
These last 2 lines are pretty good parodies of the original.
Not rapping against edgy OCs with cockring weapons!
Generic insults.
I didn't say you were big, you sweet and sour pig
Decent aside from the fact that you’ve already made a LOT of Asian jokes.
We're friends so being mean to you really ain't my shtick ;-;
Cos I love my friends more than the Top Gear Stig
I'm the friendliest forumer, and no my luscious hair ain't a wig!
I like the unique way these lines parody the original.

It's the forum business and you've had your fun
This site's had quite enough of your Yankee Doodle guns!
Not bad.

Well how about we praise a forumer who's actually active?
Ok but kind of obvious parody of the original.

As a matter of fact I can attack yanks that look up to me
Without this cat you wouldn't have the balls to be a brony!
Lines are kinda basic, not really any strong jokes.

Verse Overview: Again, decent amount of references, just a lot of the lines don’t really pack a punch. 7.25ish.

Overall: 15.25/20

Klostin Powers:
Round 1:
You’d look a lot more handsome in Bollywood, baby.
OK, could’ve been a better Bollywood joke.
Can I make you go faster than curry does? Yeah probably!
Great curry joke.
(Wahoo!) The voice from Cry’s locket said you were a sucky player,
But Tikaani above, that is Laikano-brainer!!
Great references and puns.
I've never seen someone so awful at math!
The math joke could’ve been more clever.
I've also never seen David lose his appetite so fast!
Good reference.
I mean, you can't go out with that unruly beard, you heathen!
Could’ve been a better joke about the beard.
Polar bears rate me eleven out of ten!
The wording of this reference feels really random.
(Wahoo!) I'll stun you badly with a groundbreaking pun,
Make a Ranger faint; I’m rapping tighter than a won ton!!
Great pun.
(Wahoo!) I’m resistant; you can’t reach me, you’re too distant!
Kinda clever.
Your good raps are like all the sex I've had: nonexistent!
Funny, definitely a self-dis but it works since Powers’ original verse was pretty self-dissy.
(Wahoo!) People want a cool cat hosting suspenseful competition!
Reference without a joke.
No one wants to slowly go through your romantic exposition!
I’d say this is also a reference without a joke, but calling it all “exposition” is kinda funny.
Maybe Shinji can spark new ideas in your mind!
Good reference.
You made failed RPs too many times!
Fact statey.
I made a name for myself; you made it to the loony bin!
Generic insults.
Someone call Osama, I found his last virgin!
Funny closer.

Verse Overview: Lots of clever references, and even the jokes that don’t really work are pretty good parodies of the original. Solid 9.

Rest of the Battle:
Um, I'm not big on threesomes, go find your own group.
Clever.

As you see, it's not too hard for you to be ridiculed.
Generic insult.
And I know you like to teach but I think you just got schooled!
I’ve seen this joke done a lot before.

Verse Overview: I like the threesomes line. If I were to count this as a verse for some reason it’d be a 6.75 or something.

Overall: 17.75/20

Sean LAWLery:
Round 1:
I wouldn’t exactly call you “the friendliest”
It’s the most prominent rockin-it forumer to be known
Needs more reference
been spittin sick disses before this y’all called this forum home
A little fact statey.
I’ve read your raps, Mooncat, and I’m not gonna lie
It was… So crappy… You’re gonna make me cry
Good reference.
I see your modern memes and they have no credentials
I don’t need OCs to be influential
References without real jokes.
I’m the founder of groups and made lessons to teach you all
Fact statey.
I’ve done so much you should call this Epic Rap Battles… of LAWL
There’s not too much to this joke.

Verse Overview: The so crappy line is great, the rest of the verse is a little lacking in really strong jokes.

Rest of the Battle:
SLAP Don’t you have to go role-play as a pile of poop?!
Could’ve been a better role-playing joke, this is probably the easiest one you could do.

Oh please, I'm the wittiest forumer, I'm the smartest
you two've been dumbing me down ever since the battle started!
Generic insults. I guess there is a reference but it’s not a really clever one.

SLAP At least I made a name, you're more or less passive
Also not much of a reference.

Now you listen here you little limey lame Briton
call me bi, but it seems this dick needs a good lickin'!
Not bad, but could be used by pretty much anyone LGBT.

Verse Overview: There are references, but they’re pretty broad ones. I prefer jokes about specific references.

Overall: 13.25/20

Overall Battle: It’s kinda mixed but there’s a lot of personality and fun in this battle. It often doesn’t do a great job of mixing humor or references with real cleverness, and feels a little rushed at times. 7.75/10

Moon Bond’s Worst Line: Urgh I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this chink!
Feels too generic, and it doesn’t help that there’s already been a lot of Asian jokes in this battle.
Moon Bond’s Best Line: I take bubblebaths with ladies, you need a forum game to date!
Got the OH SNAP factor that a lot of fanmades I read really seem to be lacking in. Honorable mentions are squinty closed-off and stray Mooncat.
Klostin Powers’ Worst Line: As you see, it's not too hard for you to be ridiculed.
Could be used against anyone and it would make just as much sense.
Klostin Powers’ Best Line: But Tikaani above, that is Laikano-brainer!!
Really good parody of the original and clever line on its own too. Honorable mentions are curry, wonton, and Shinji.
Sean LAWLery’s Worst Line: It’s the most prominent rockin-it forumer to be known
Any forumer could say this line and it’d make just as much sense. Not specific enough.
Sean LAWLery’s Best Line: It was… So crappy… You’re gonna make me cry
Just a really good reference with good comedic timing.

Winner: Klostin Powers (17.75/20) over Moon Bond (15.25/20) and Sean LAWLery (13.25/20)

Total Score: 54/70

[BKTurner47]

Oh, may I ask you to review THIS:

Spoiler: 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing

[Samos]

I'mma do this review in 2 minutes time GO

Spoiler: 

Sane BB. Strange:
Fuck yourself
Round up your mods and fuck them too
No references
And your admins and dions and mexicans and LGBT communities
Your straight white male scum and sam with a big pair of titties
Not sepcific enogh referneces
I’ve never finished everything I’ve ever written
But one time I came on your moms feet and yeah I finished
Lol I just read the lyrics and saw boobies
Not a boast or dis
Shit uh age five you fucking beehive
Polar you are stupid and not respectable
I will never have sex with you
No referecnes
What the fuck even is David the Gnome
NOt specific to either person
You’re an asshole vampire ain’t welcome in my hoooooooome
Overview: Bad probably like a 3 or 4

Polar BB. Ore:
jews, nerd, jew nerds, dorks,
Dork nerds, jew dorks, nerd dorks, and whores
These all describe you you little bitch
You want a battle mang well this isn’t even serious
On the forum, you've got nothing to show
I’m the active co admin you’re a powerless ho
First references in the verse and it's bad
I got memes that are great while yours suck
You’re like Umbreon because you’re a duck
(Oh!) We all know the world is full of people who suck
So, yes, it's true to life for people to suck
But buddy you suck way too much
Not as much as sam, but you still suck
I'm not in this battle


Sane BB. Strange:
I bigwordhere object to what you're doing with your life
Funny
My favorite musical is the ones where objects come to life
I’m too deep in your mom they call me Dr. Fuckweed
Your favorite band is probably creed

Bad

Polar BB. Ore:
My favorite musical is probably Hamilton
Good
But regardless of that my least favorite person is Samilton
And also my favorite band isn’t at all Creed
I don’t even know which one of their songs I’ve seen (or heard I guess)


Sane BB. Strange:
Man, your whatever jokes I’m ahead of you so I don’t know what you’re gonna put
Is worse that sam
My straight white sauce is hotter then you cause you’re G A Y
I’m SaneButStrange you’re a weird little mexican
Theser eferences could be a lot better
And I may be a motherfucker but you got the Opedius complex mannn
Even your modship man it fucking sucks
You aren’t funny and you’re kind of lame and you’re probably named Rico
Hey she got home safely that’s good
Also my tater tots are done
Needs more fecnereces


Polar BB. Ore:
Canadion and I were just discussing
How you and Sambam…can’t stop suggin
Because my rep level right now is 4799
Fact statey
It might not be when people read this because it changes all the time
And I'm Sane and Strange than you’ve ever been
I’m not strange but I needed to say that to parody the battle man
You can't reach this fellow! Shit, I'm too Towering!
(Ooh!) Every time I battle, it's Return of the King!
bitch
Doesn't parody the line at all just repeats

AND TIMER'S UP

Let me know if you want a more in depth review or if this is satisfactory

[Poles]

Who won tho