Beat:
Relevance-I feel like it fits the personality they gave Hillary for this, and the sense of impending doom is perfect for Trump, especially near the end of his verse. 2.5/2.5
Catchiness-Not much. There's really no tune, most of it sounds like background. There's a little bit for DOOO DOOOOO DOOOOOOO sometimes that gets a little in your head I guess. 1.25/2.5
Intensity-Yeah, I'll give full points. It always feels a little ominous, and it gets really heavy near Lincoln's part. 2.5/2.5
Variety-It's very repetitive until Lincoln. I love what the beat does during Lincoln, but it's too little too late. 1.25/2.5
Overall: Too boring overall. I like the idea of using a more ominous beat than Obama vs. Romney, I just wish it were a better one. 7.5/10
Costumes:
Hillary Clinton-Not really a fan of the casting here. Her face is a little too long for Hillary. Susan Deming had the perfect face shape. The costume itself is fine, it just definitely doesn't look very much like her. They can and have done much better. -1 Point
Donald Trump-Lloyd looks a lot more like Trump than Peter. They got the right amount of spray tan, the right lipstick. The only thing I object to is, surprisingly, the hair. I thought this was the one thing they'd spend the most time on and get right, and the wig they gave Peter was pretty good, but this is not Trump's hair. It's too thick. It looks too much like a full head of hair and not like he's losing his hair. -.5 Points
Abe Lincoln-Needs more defined cheekbones. I don't know if I've said that in previous reviews, but it's true. -.25 Points
Extras-The agent dude looks like an agent dude. Full Points
Impressions:
Hillary Clinton-Again, I thought Deming had it better. But she does have some of the mannerisms down. It's just a little too nasaly, but I guess it's for comedic effect so I can't complain too much. -.25 Points
Donald Trump-Much better than Peter's Trump. It's not spot on, but it is closer than a lot of Trump impressions I hear. I can't really explain it, it just sounds a little too not Trumpish and a little too Lloydish I guess. But it's a solid impression. -.25 Points
Abe Lincoln-Yeah Full Points
Hillary Clinton:
I've been in this game too long; I'm a public servant!
"been in this game too long" is kinda funny, but it's not an especially clever line.
Have been since I met MLK in person!
Fact statey.
I'm a woman of the people; that's for certain!
I guess the joke here is that "man of the people" is a common saying and she's substituting it? I get it, but it's not really much of an effort.
You're a man of the people who don't like turbans!
Funny wording but the line itself is not really clever.
I was living in the West Wing while you were professional wrestling!
The rhyme scheme of "west wing" and "wrestling" is funny I guess. Feels a little too fact statey.
You got skin like Russian dressing from too much Russian investing!
I like this one. It's political, insulting, and funny.
You been going bankrupt since the 90s! If I was in Iran, you couldn't find me!
First part is fact statey. Apparently, the second part of the line is a very subtle John Oliver reference. The running joke on his show about proving people in the audience don't know geography. That's pretty cool. A little too subtle for most ERB viewers I'd guess but I do think it's intentional and I do think it's clever with the visual gag. Can't give full points for it but I like it.
You don't care about the job, Trump! You just think the desk is shiny!
It's insulting, but it's not really a reference to anything. Not bad but not great.
I said that I respect your children, but that wasn't quite right, yo!
Looking like some extras from American Psycho!
ERB does a lot of lines like these, where they just say "you look like _________", and they're usually not that clever and the references are kind of random, but when they're true, they're funny. And this one is true and funny. Not a great line or anything but funny.
First name is Hillary, middle name Rodham, last name is Clinton, and lyrics, I got 'em!
This line is pointless. Feels like it's just there to get the right length of the verse to fit the beat.
You fire celebrities on The Apprentice! Mutha fucka, I fire bin Laden! (Crack!) *cough*
Not super clever, but cool comparison line. I have to give a little credit to how well placed the cough here is. It's not great for rap battle purposes, but it's clever.
How do I say this? You're racist!
Fact statey. The delivery is kind of funny but I can't really give a lot of points for this.
Ooh, you must get so pissed that your hands are too small to stop and frisk!
Awesome. This one got a laugh out of me.
So you use your fingers to touch chicks!
Nice segue.
She's only 12 years old. "That's enough, shit!"
But she's married, sir. "Just gotta get pushy."
That's your daughter. "Well, grab her by the pussy!"
A fun bit here. None of it is extremely clever, it's just funny.
(Huaggh!) That's assault, brotha!
Apparently this is a Billy Madison reference. Kind of random but it does fit here, so I'll give it some credit.
Don't tell me the victim's at fault, sucka!
Not really insulting, just political rambling.
You don't know shit about steaks, yucka!
But the ones on the 8th are great, mutha fucka!
Nice little pun.
Better save the date; I'm gonna rock the vote!
If this is a reference to the time Trump told his supporters the wrong date to vote for him on, then it could've been done a lot better. That's a really low hanging fruit in terms of insult material and it's barely glanced over, if at all.
Bad bitch on the scene like Murder, She Wrote!
Random reference, not that great.
So go ahead, Donald! Let me see you flow!
Filler.
I brought Michelle's speech; borrow some quotes!
Nice. A little obvious but it works.
Verse Overview: A little lacking in real zingers for me. A lot of the lines are just kinda good, and then some of them are just filler. There's one or two really great lines I guess. 7.25 to 7.5.
Overall: 14.75/20
Donald Trump:
Let me just say I respect all females,
Filler.
But your rhymes are trash; put 'em next to your emails.
Pretty good opener. Email line could've been done much worse.
Our country's in crisis. Who wants to vote for the mother of ISIS?
Decent reference.
That might not be exactly true, but I don't do politeness.
"I don't do politeness" does seem like something he'd say. I guess by most standards it's not a great line, but I don't know, I like it for some reason. I guess it's the delivery?
(Believe me.) You wanna talk about misogyny? Your Bill's worse than Cosby!
A little obvious, I've seen this kind of joke done a lot before.
He left a mess on that dress like you left in Benghazi!
I laughed. Very solid dis.
(Terrible!) You wanna break the glass ceiling, Hillary. I sense it,
But the only crack you'll find is my ass pressed against it!
I really like the way ERB handled Trump. It's so clear they hate him and want to make a statement about him, yet they still made his lines clever. This line is clever, even if it is super sinister and makes him look like a douche.
The numbers are in, and I'm right on your tail!
Fact statey.
You don't have the stamina, baby; you're frail!
Generic insult.
This will be just like '08 when you fail,
But Trump will appoint you to jail!
Clever.
How do I say this? You're a 2,
Like Clinton's line here, generic insult with funny delivery.
And you almost lost the primary to a socialist Jew!
You could've done a better Bernie Sanders reference, come on. Trump's little mannerism here is funny though.
What do the American people gotta yankee doodle do
Decent set up line. Could've been totally void of any reference.
To get it through your fat face that they're just not that into you?
Not really a reference. And even if it is funny, I've seen this kind of joke done before about Hillary.
They want a strong, male leader who can stand up to China.
Could've been a better China reference.
(China, China, China…) Not a crooked little wishy-washy bleeding heart vagina! (…bloody vagina!)
This is a fun pun. Again, makes Trump look awful, but it is still clever.
I'm gonna run these streets like I run my casinos:
More police and less Latinos!
The connection to the casinos here is a little shaky but still there and it works OK.
While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks,
Funny little set up.
I'll create jobs tearing down mosques!
Kinda clever.
Then I'll use all the best rocks from the site to build a wall!
One of the better ways they could've handled the "build a wall" reference.
Dip it in gold and make Mexico pay for it all!
Also one of the better ways they could've handled this reference. Not the best way though.
I'll make this country great again! We'll all be living large!
Seems like this line is just here to throw a MAGA reference in.
I'll tell Congress, "You're fired," and put Charles in charge!
I like it.
'Cause this whole system's rigged, and we all know the riggers!
For the last eight years, this country's been run by— (CAW!)
Well done. Good way to bring Lincoln in.
Verse Overview: Stronger than Clinton's verse, but still a little lacking. A lot of the lines are still kinda half-references and there are still a limited number of zingers. But again, more than Clinton's verse.
Overall: 15.75/20
Abraham Lincoln:
Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah?!
Pretty much filler.
I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized— (CAW!)
Feels like a lazy rhyme. Anyway, still not a super clever line.
I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ!
A bit of a random reference, but it works OK as a joke.
You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed!
Same as last line.
I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit!
Filler. But it did kinda get a chuckle out of me for some reason.
If this is the best my party gets, then my party should quit!
Could've been a much better "party of Lincoln" reference.
(Ha!) I'm sorry, did I say something that you found funny?
Wipe that creepy-ass smile off your face and beat this dummy!
I guess this is a reference to how Clinton laughs a lot and how her smile is creepy? Not great.
And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door!
Well done.
Don't get your fans stirred up in some sorta Twitter civil war!
Also well done.
Here's an equal opportunity smack down in the sequel!
That's of the people, by the people, for the people! EAGLE!!! (CAW!)
These lines are just there because they have to be there. Although I have to give some points here I guess for the double Trump slap. A lot of people complained about it, and yeah, it's clearly biased, but I thought it was really funny.
Verse Overview: The ending is pretty good, especially if I'm giving credit here for the double slap, but overall this is pretty lacking. I'm giving it a higher score than Clinton because I really like the "be a man" line, the "Twitter Civil War" line, and the double slap (which I'm counting as a line because it's so important to the delivery), which is a higher percentage of really good lines than Clinton. So 7.5.
Overall: 15/20
Ungraded Stuff:
Idea-Obviously they had to do Trump vs Clinton. I do like the original concept more in theory, but I'd need to see the execution to truly judge whether or not that would've been better. Either way, I would've preferred something more original than just having Lincoln come in again, but I did like how they handled Lincoln's role in this, to be fair.
Presentation-Lots of cool visual jokes. Not the most amazing battle visually, but pretty up to par. They definitely do take advantage of the editing to keep it from being boring.
Overall Battle: I thought this was one of their weaker ones compared to the battles surrounding it. The lyrics are lacking in really solid burns, the beat's a little weak, and the character presentation is not the best ERB can do. It does have its moments and its strong lines, it's just not really up to par with some of their later work and feels a little rushed.
Hillary Clinton's Best Line: Ooh, you must get so pissed that your hands are too small to stop and frisk!
I'm gonna stop doing worst lines. I find the selection process for them boring, trivial, and sometimes arbitrary. Anyway, I thought this one had the best comedic factor and most solid reference of any of Clinton's lines. Honorable mention is Russian investing.
Donald Trump's Best Line: He left a mess on that dress like you left in Benghazi!
Politically charged, solid reference, insulting, funny. Honorable mentions are trash emails and glass ceiling.
Abraham Lincoln's Best Line: And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door.
Only really "oh snap" line that Lincoln gave me. Honorable mention is Twitter Civil War.
Winner: Donad Trump (15.75/20) over Abraham Lincoln (15/20) and Hillary Clinton (14.75/20)
Total Score: 60.75/80, 75%, C
Tao of Blue
Originally Posted by Juiz
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