Hello, can you please review my team's battle from the Total Drama Forum Edition Season 3 Challenge, since apparenly the challenge was tossed? It's Kratos vs Percy Jackson.
Here it is:
[spoiler:3u4tfuss]EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
PERCY JACKSON
VS
KRATOOOOOOOSSS!
Kratos:
Grah! This little demigod of the sea is about to turn into mist.
His bones will become crushed when I clench them in my fist.
I survive off blood and gore, for I am the God of War!
I've slayed the Gods off their thrones and now I'm looking for more.
You're still looking up to daddy while I'm prying out his eyes.
Let's see you fufill the prophecy when all the Fates have died.
I've proven that I am greater, Aphrodite's seen my sabre.
So why don't you run along and keep playing with that satyr?
Percy:
You f*cked a b***h and the god of whores... Congratulations?
Take a vacation, cause you need to stop with your constant frustrations.
If you were in real life, you'd be in the strawberry jam facepaint commercial,
Become useful for once, and stop letting Greeks give you facials!
You couldn't save your brother from Thanatos, what a FAIL!
I defeated Kronos's army while you cut his fingernails!
My story's still going strong, while you keep going backwards,
I'm crushing a Krater in you Kratos, you can't kill this rapper!
Kratos:
You're movie was rotten, and now you're coming back with worse?
At least try in your second verse, or I'll give you my personal Titan's curse.
Run up to Olympus, feel free to "steal" Zeus's lightning bolt.
Stop floppin' up your words, migrate back to sea, you idiotic smolt.
You control water? Well take a shower, cause your rhymes reek of self-death,
just know that my blade will cause more than chaos to your girlfriend Annabeth.
Just like your sword, the most you can do to me is half-damage!
You can't win this battle, since this is a mental challenge.
Percy:
Your luck just ran out, riding that rocky MILF didn't help your chances,
Search your drawer for a minute and please go find some pants!
The best girl you could find was a "Jackie-in-a-box",
At least I don't have a mountain of sins lying under lock!
Go back to banging prostitutes, while I MAKE THE OCEAN SHAKE!
How about I crush you with my pelagic powers, bake my dad a Jaffe Cake!
Why try to fight back when you get killed daily by 31 different people?
You don't need me to kill you, to yourself you are fatal.
WHO WON?
WHAT CHALLENGE IS NEXT?
BOBBY DECIDES!
EPIC...
*Loud Deep Low Brass Note*
RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
Reference Guide, in case you don't know the characters:
[spoiler:3u4tfuss]Grah! This little demigod of the sea is about to turn into mist.
Percy Jackson is a demigod, and a controller of water. "Grah" is a phrase often uttered by Kratos.
His bones will become crushed when I clench them in my fist.
Kratos's strength levels are superhuman, so it is likely for him to be able to crush bones in his fist.
I survive off blood and gore, for I am the God of War!
Kratos becomes the God of War after killing Ares.
I've slayed the Gods off their thrones and now I'm looking for more.
In God of War 3, he killed Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hermes, and many other gods.
You're still looking up to daddy while I'm prying out his eyes.
Zeus is Percy's father, and in a scene at the end of God of War 3, Kratos poked Zeus's eyes out.
Let's see you fufill the prophecy when all the Fates have died.
In God of War 2, Kratos slayed all the three Fates. Percy Jackson has a prophecy to fulfill in his books.
I've proven that I am greater, Aphrodite's seen my sabre.
There is a sex scene in God of War 3 between Aphrodite and Kratos.
So why don't you run along and keep playing with that satyr?
Percy's friend Grover is a satyr.
Percy:
You f*cked a b***h and the god of whores... Congratulations?
Kratos married a woman who constantly argued with him over different things, and he can also have intercourse with Aphrodite, the God of Love, in God of War 3.
Take a vacation, cause you need to stop with your constant frustrations.
Kratos, throughout all the games, is pretty much universally pissed off.
If you were in real life, you'd be in the strawberry jam facepaint commercial,
Kratos has a red mark across his body that goes over his face.
Become useful for once, and stop letting Greeks give you facials!
Kratos is covered with the ashes of the people he's killed, which gives him a white skin color. As a joke, it can be said that his face is covered with cum.
You couldn't save your brother from Thanatos, what a FAIL!
Kratos's brother, Deimos, was killed by the god Thanatos.
I defeated Kronos's army while you cut his fingernails!
Percy Jackson faced hoards of Kronos's army. In a fight scene between Kratos and Kronos, Kratos cuts off Kronos's fingernails with his blades before killing him.
My story's still going strong, while yours keeps going backwards,
The next God of War game after the third was a prologue taking place before the first game, much to the annoyance of fans.
I'm crushing another Krater in you Kratos, you can't kill this rapper!
Referencing the hole Kratos left in his body when he impaled himself with the Blade of Olympus subtly.
Kratos:
You're movie was rotten, and now you're coming back with worse?
On RottenTomatoes, the movie version of the first book received a rotten rating. Also has a double meaning, as a movie version of the second movie has a planned release this year.
At least try in your second verse, or I'll give you my personal Titan's curse.
Titan's Curse is the name of the Third Percy Jackson novel. Also has a double entendre in it...
Run up to Olympus, feel free to "steal" Zeus's lightning bolt.
In the first book, Percy was accused of stealing Zeus's lightning bolt. He was then sent on a mission to retrieve it to prove his innocence.
Stop floppin' up your words, migrate back to sea, you idiotic smolt.
Percy controls water. A smolt is a small fish that migrates frequently.
You control water? Well take a shower, cause your rhymes reek of self-death,
Percy can control water. Kratos is insulting his going through puberty, and his bad raps.
just know that my blade will cause more than chaos to your girlfriend Annabeth.
Kratos's blades are named the Blades of Chaos, and Percy's girlfriend is Annabeth.
Just like your sword, the most you can do to me is half-damage!
Percy's sword, Riptide, only works against godly figures, and Kratos is half-god, so making use of that, mathematically/technically/sort of it would only do half damage... get it?
You can't win this battle, since this is a mental challenge.
Percy has ADHD and dyslexia.
Percy:
Your luck just ran out, riding that rocky MILF didn't help your chances,
Kratos rode Gaia up to the top of Mount Olympus, and Gaia happens to be old and is referred to as "Mother Earth."
Search your drawer for a minute and please go find some pants!
Kratos doesn't have any pants on, only some sort of skirt and (assumedly) underwear.
The best girl you could find was a "Jackie-in-a-box",
Kratos cared for Pandora, who was stuck in Pandora's box for a long period of time.
At least I don't have a mountain of sins lying under lock!
Throughout the series of games, Kratos makes terribly immoral choices. In the end he has to forgive himself for all these sins.
Go back to banging prostitutes, while I MAKE THE OCEAN SHAKE!
Throughout the God of War games, there were minigames were you could have fun with prostitutes. Percy controls water.
How about I crush you with my pelagic powers, bake my dad a Jaffe Cake!
Pelagic means ocean-based, and the person who created the character of Kratos was named David Jaffe.
Why try to resist when you get killed daily by 31 different people?
In Mortal Kombat 9, Kratos is a DLC character. There are 31 other playable characters.
You don't need me to kill you, to yourself you are fatal.
Kratos impaled himself with the Sword of Olympus at the end of God of War 3.[/spoiler:3u4tfuss][/spoiler:3u4tfuss]
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Originally Posted by Intellectual
