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Thread: Zoroark's Review Thread

  1. #1
    ZoroarkPKMN's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong Review: Zoroark Style

    I will post the lyrics and video, and then basically talk about the pros and cons about each.

    First, the lyrics:
    [spoiler:371fg7vt]EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

    BABE RUTH
    VERSUS
    LANCE ARMSTRONG
    BEGIN...

    Armstrong:
    Before I let loose with this ruthless aggression
    I'll let you be the second fat woman hearing my confession
    I admit it, I did what I had to do to win
    I'm an athlete, you're a specimen to sin
    With your drinking and smoking and choking down food
    I know French dudes with better manners than you
    So swing batter batter, show me what a fatter rapper can do
    I beat cancer, I can sure as hell crack you

    Ruth:
    You lived strong, beat cancer, congratulations!
    Now I'll drop your ass faster than your own foundation
    Third base with an Olsen twin, that's the sin, face it
    She's just a little girl, what'd you give her a bracelet?
    Whole nation knows you ride too tight in the crotch
    You're as boring as your Tour de France is to watch
    So come on, little buddy, don't look so pissed
    With all the blood and attitude, you're like a menstrual cyclist

    Armstrong:
    You set records before black men could compete, are you kidding me?
    That's like having a pasta contest without Italy
    You're an orphan who found his way to fortune and fame
    Just think what you could've done if you would've actually trained
    I'm the pinnacle of physical condition while you dip your stick in prostitutes and call it foul tippin'
    Are you trippin'?
    You'll be nothing but a skeleton
    Messin with a fellow in yellow who will be peddling like hell up in the peleton

    Ruth:
    It's the bottom of the ninth against a Texan in a bathing suit
    Filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth
    It may be way too soon but I'm calling my shot
    And I'm not talkin' about those Italian syringes you brought
    The Sultan of Swat will knock you right outta the park
    And round the bases to the sound of up-roaring applause
    While you hang your head in shame and disgrace because
    You got lost and forgot what real sportsmanship was
    You look tired kid, you got Sheryl's crows feet eyes
    Pedal home to France and maybe bring me back some fries
    Cause if you step to Ruth in the mic I'll fan your fancy bike and all
    Yerr out, with three strikes and just one ball

    WHO WON?!
    WHO'S NEXT?!
    YOU DECIDE!!

    EPIC RAP BATTLES *clap, clap, clapclapclap* OF HISTORY!![/spoiler:371fg7vt]

    Video:
    [spoiler:371fg7vt][youtube:371fg7vt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtO-6Xg3g2M[/youtube:371fg7vt][/spoiler:371fg7vt]

    The Beat:
    The beat sounds like something you would hear on ESPN or some sports network. So that kinda fits in with the whole theme of the battle, which is "sports". So personally for me the beat really fits the battle, and I think that's important.
    8.5/10

    Impersonations:
    I think Pete's impersonation of Lance Armstrong was a little off. For starters, he should've had more of a Texan accent, which is pretty basic. But I'll go easy on him since it was his big comeback to the battle. Lloyd's impersonation of Ruth was almost spot on. I'm pretty sure Babe Ruth actually sounded like that. Great job, guys!
    8/10

    Costumes:
    Lance Armstrong's costume was pretty much a real-life cyclist clothing. I also like how they added the words "Epic Rap Battles of History" on the right side, kinda like what they did with Billy Mays and Vince Offer. Babe Ruth's costume looked pretty good. I think Lloyd needed to be a bit taller, but what're you gonna do? The face looks like him. Also, if you play close attention, when Babe Ruth stretches his arm the shirt has a sort of tight feel to him, which really brings out how the baseball uniforms have really changed.
    9/10

    Announcer:
    Perfect. I also like how they had the end ERB shouting be like the "Let's go _____, let's go, *clapclapclap*"
    9.5/10

    Verse 1--"Specimen to Sin"
    Lance Armstrong comes in with a suit, and I think that's pretty inventive how he rips it off. Kind of a nod to the Oprah interview. I also like the dancing Armstrongs on the bike. That was a great part. As for lyrics, very epic. Peter begins the battle hard and dignified. Great work.
    9/10

    Verse 2--"Third Base with an Olsen Twin"
    Compared to his other verse, Babe Ruth seems kinda chill in this one, and I think that really seperates the two verses to a point where the second Ruth verse is a bit showing off. The lines were good, especially the "menstrual cyclist" part. Babe definitely has some sick dance moves and choreography during the battle as well. Lloyd makes a great Ruth.
    8.9/10

    Verse 3--"Dip Your Stick"
    This verse contains one of my top 5 favorite lines in ERB, so it's an instant loving by me. The pasta contest line is also pretty hilarious. Peter delivers such a great flow during this verse I'm inarticulate.
    9.7/10

    Verse 4--"Real Sportsmanship"
    Babe Ruth comes in soft, but builds his glory up to a part where even Lance Armstrong is scared of him. I love the double-tracking that comes when Babe is yelling. For some reason I like the ERB lines with double-tracking the most. Just a fetish, I guess. And Babe references Lance's one nut very smoothly. I like this.
    9/10

    So in conclusion, I think the winner is...
    Babe Ruth
    Lance was very close for me. The only reason I think Babe won is because of that damn second verse of his. Great job, Lloyd. You were good.
    And the battle from a scale of 0 to 100 is...
    95.62/100
    One of my favorites from the season. You are yet to disappoint me the season, guys. Keep it up!
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  2. #2
    Lohuydahutt's Avatar Senior Member
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    Re: Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong Review: Zoroark Style

    Umm... If your giving Ruth the win even though you ranked Lances verses higher BOTH TIMES? XD

    Spoiler: 
    My life story:
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  3. #3
    ZoroarkPKMN's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Re: Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong Review: Zoroark Style

    Quote Originally Posted by Lohuydahutt
    Umm... If your giving Ruth the win even though you ranked Lances verses higher BOTH TIMES? XD
    Yes, but Babe Ruth still wins. I liked Lance's verses a lot, but Babe still won. His winning is inevitable.
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  4. #4
    Lohuydahutt's Avatar Senior Member
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    Re: Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong Review: Zoroark Style

    Quote Originally Posted by ZoroarkPKMN
    Quote Originally Posted by Lohuydahutt
    Umm... If your giving Ruth the win even though you ranked Lances verses higher BOTH TIMES? XD
    Yes, but Babe Ruth still wins. I liked Lance's verses a lot, but Babe still won. His winning is inevitable.
    You ranked Lance's SECOND VERSE higher than Ruth's and Ruth still got the win. WHAT AM I MISSING HERE? XD

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  5. #5
    ZoroarkPKMN's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Re: Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong Review: Zoroark Style

    Quote Originally Posted by Lohuydahutt
    Quote Originally Posted by ZoroarkPKMN
    Quote Originally Posted by Lohuydahutt
    Umm... If your giving Ruth the win even though you ranked Lances verses higher BOTH TIMES? XD
    Yes, but Babe Ruth still wins. I liked Lance's verses a lot, but Babe still won. His winning is inevitable.
    You ranked Lance's SECOND VERSE higher than Ruth's and Ruth still got the win. WHAT AM I MISSING HERE? XD
    I also liked Babe better in costumes and impressions.
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  6. #6

    Re: Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong Review: Zoroark Style

    Lovin' the review. Double-tracking lines feel more epic as it gives a very slight illusion of more than one person. I didn't notice the ERB logo on Armstrong's costume, I must've missed it. I think I myself have messed up on my review with the beat. You're probably right that it sounds like something on ESPN. The only thing I'd really like to argue about this review with you is that...Lloyd's face was good? Personally I believe the make-up could've gone a lot farther.
    Dream married to Angelina Jolie.

    Objectives:
    1.) Take over Mongolia (X)
    2.) Take over the World (in progress)
    3.) Defeat the I.R.S. (in progress)
    4.) Defeat the Rotunda family (X)
    5.) Rewrite Robin Hood (not even in progress yet)

    [spoiler:3sm3kzsw]Hero Theme: Moneytalks (AC/DC)

    Villain Theme: Counterfeit (Limp Bizkit)

    Vehicle: Ca$hvan

    Favorite Musical Artist (Hero): 50 Cent

    Favorite Musical Artist (Villain): Johnny Ca$h

    Favorite Musical Artist (Actually): Metallica

    Favorite Food: Ca$hews

    Favorite Board Game (Hero): Monopoly

    Favorite Board Game (Villain): Backgammon

    Favorite Board Game (Actually): Risk

    Ca$hman Crew:
    Da Ca$hman
    Skim "Bob" Joe
    Mr. Twister
    Da Chairman
    Batman (hero)
    Joker (villain)
    Shaquille O' Neal
    Carlos Boozer (retired)
    The Sexual Harassment Panda

    Taxman Team (arch enemies):
    Irwin R. Schyster
    Ted DiBiasie Sr.
    Jimmy Hart
    Vince McMahon
    Kobe Bryant
    The Birdman
    The Eggman
    The Walrus
    I, Da Sprained Ankle Boy (retired)[/spoiler:3sm3kzsw]

  7. #7
    JanetAbruzzi
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    Re: Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong Review: Zoroark Style

    I think Babe in costume rocks than in other avatar.

  8. #8
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Re: Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong Review: Zoroark Style

    Double-tracking, that's what it's called, thanks.

    I like those lines the best, too. It gives you an idea of just how boss that character is.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
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    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  9. #9
    ZoroarkPKMN's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison Review: Zoroark Style

    Lyrics:
    [spoiler:1zn2q7x9]EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

    THOMAS EDISON
    VERSUS
    NIKOLA TESLA
    BEGIN...

    Edison:
    Step up, you'll be shocked when I spit and start static
    I'll rip your style and add it to my long list of patents
    While you were busy digging ditches and burning bridges
    I'm pumping out inventions, stacking riches, so go back to your pigeons
    You're a geek, plagued by OCD
    You never had sex but you sure got screwed by me
    I'll crush you Tesla, there's just no putting it gently
    I don't alternate my flows, I diss you directly

    Tesla:
    I see a universe of infinite energy
    But no potential for threat from this enemy
    So you can call me Tesla, Nikola, impeccably dressed
    Giving lessons in electrical nemesis, this will be on the test
    So confess to your thefts and let the whole world know
    What the Serbian did for the Wizard of Menlo
    History is getting rewritten and I have reddit
    Your best invention was a way to steal credit

    Edison:
    The truth hertz, you're broke and washed up
    Don't give a smidgen 'bout your visions if they can't make a buck
    I conduct business, understood things you never could
    So dope that I even make New Jersey look good
    I'm on the record I invented, you got duped, there I said it
    I bet you fifty thousand dollars that you'll never forget it
    Without me, here's a taste of what this battle would be
    No lights, no camera, no sound, see?

    Tesla:
    You fool, you think that you can touch me with this?
    You couldn't handle my gifts with your greedy little mind
    What's inside mine was ahead of its own time
    You did not steal from me, you stole me from mankind!
    It's a wireless transmission of truth
    And it's the shocking real story of a banker and you
    And if the people knew you stopped me from making power free
    They would curse the con Edison with every utility

    WHO WON?!
    WHO'S NEXT?!
    YOU DECIDE!

    EEEE-EEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY![/spoiler:1zn2q7x9]

    Video:
    [spoiler:1zn2q7x9][youtube:1zn2q7x9]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ1Mz7kGVf0[/youtube:1zn2q7x9][/spoiler:1zn2q7x9]

    The Beat:
    As always with the ERBs, the beat sorta matches the characters in some way or another. Because of Edison and Tesla's advancements in electricity, technology, and power, this beat is techno, with the occasional sounds of sparks or electrocutions. It fits the characters very well and is the perfect beat for this battle.
    9/10

    Impersonations:
    I would've pictured Edison having more of a grumpy Bill Gates voice, but when I heard this it felt a little right. For some reason with this impersonation Lloyd seems grumpier, Jersian, and egotistical, just like Edison himself. I'm comparing the Tesla voice with a short film I watched on him, and the voice is great. Peter did an excellent job voicing Tesla and Dante was a great actor as him in the video. Great work, guys!
    8.9/10

    Costumes:
    Tesla was wearing a vest, and I think that's all that matters. His mustache could've been bigger, though. It felt like it was too short. But I dunno. That's just me. Edison's costume was pretty good. It looked dusty, old, and nerdy all at the same time. These are some of the best ERB costumes I've seen in a while.
    9.8/10

    Announcer:
    Peter is and always has been a great ERB announcer. That will never change. The end part was also interesting, how the announcer was getting electrocuted. Very well arranged, ERB crew. Very well arranged.
    9/10

    Verse 1--"Alternate My Flows"
    Edison comes strong in this verse. I think the lyrics really depict how Edison was a rich businessman and very successful while Tesla was poor, penniless, and not appreciated. The line that referenced Alternating and Direct currents also caught me, too. Edison was great in this verse, but can he match up to Tesla?
    8.5/10

    Verse 2--"Impeccably Dressed"
    Tesla definitely destroys Edison in this verse. He really makes great disses about how Edison cheated Tesla out of his inventions and he demands goddamn appreciation for it. I also like the reference to Reddit, which was placed in there very cleverly. Dante and Peter are a great rap pair.
    8.9/10

    Verse 3--"The Truth Hertz"
    The opening line of this verse straight-away references Heinrich Hertz, another inventor of the late 1800s. In this verse, Edison admits to stealing from Tesla but then comes right back with saying that if he didn't, this world wouldn't have existed. The verse really shows how much of an influence Edison was in his time, but what cruel things he had to do to be that influence. He also electrocutes a dog, and that made me sad.
    9/10

    Verse 4--"Wireless Transmission of Truth"
    Tesla goes fucking apeshit on Edison. He's creating lightning and orbs from his fucking hands (with a little reference to 3 in there) and creates light from a lightbulb with no source of power. How does he do that? This verse proves that Tesla did not get what he deserved and his superhuman abilities should be appreciated throughout mankind! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
    9.5/10

    So in conclusion, the winner of this battle is...
    Nikola Tesla
    If you honestly think that Edison won you either didn't pay attention to Tesla's verses or simply just didn't know who he was. Peter and Dante crushed Lloyd (sorry Lloyd) as Tesla, and the mad scientist finally won after losing in reality.
    And the battle on a scale from 0 to 100 is...
    95.99/100
    This battle has been waited for by many forumers for a long time, and we got what we wanted. Great job, ERB crew! You were great!
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  10. #10
    ZoroarkPKMN's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Mozart vs Skrillex Review: Zoroark Style

    Lyrics:
    [spoiler:1rqx21m8]EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!

    SKRILLEX
    VERSUS
    MOZART
    BEGIN...

    Skrillex:
    My name is Skrillex, man, welcome to the devil's den
    I'm a scary monster, stomping this sprite in frilly pants
    You're a weirdo Wolfie, you're into powdered wigs and poop
    And your cousin blew notes on your little magic flute
    Your daddy issues make the Jackson 5 look like the family circus
    You might have been a genius but you died baroque and worthless
    I'm rich, acclaimed, and famous, I'm on playlists, I'm the A-list
    You're the lamest, kiss my ass, A-a-a-a-amadeus

    Mozart:
    Was that a verse or did you just get the hiccups?
    I'm a prodigy sonny and I'm about to smack a bitch up
    My music is two hundred years old and it's still excellent
    In two more months the world will forget about your skrill-excrement
    I can't believe the way you dress when you dubstep out of the house
    You're like an emo Steve Urkel and you, oo, reek of dead mouse
    I am the world's greatest composer, no one knows what you are
    Except a lonely little troll who knows how to press a spacebar

    Skrillex:
    I attack, you decay, can't sustain my releases
    Sidechain Wolfgang, bangarang you to pieces
    I'm a self made man, you're a slave to your papa
    I'm a r-r-rock star, mix you with the bass and drop ya
    Global, my strobes glow like Chernobyl
    Kids explode and get mobile, no one even knows you
    I make the whole world move, you play community theater
    I gained your same fame from home on a blown-out speaker

    Mozart:
    Oh yes I've heard that EP and see I'm transcribed it here
    Tell me what comes after the sixty-eighth measure of diarrhea?
    What kind of drugs does it take to enjoy this? I have no idea!
    I've seen more complexity in a couch from IKEA
    You go piano, to fortississimo!
    That means soft to very very loud 'cause I'm guessing that you didn't know!
    Why don't you put down your cubase and pick up a real bow?
    I rocked harder than you when I was five years old!

    WHO WON?!
    WHO'S NEXT?!
    YOU DECIDE!!

    EPIC RAP (EPIC RAP)
    BA-BA-BA-BA-BATTLES
    *dubstep*
    OF HISTORY!
    (HISTORY, HISTORY)[/spoiler:1rqx21m8]

    Video:
    [spoiler:1rqx21m8][youtube:1rqx21m8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6Au0xCg3PI[/youtube:1rqx21m8][/spoiler:1rqx21m8]


    The Beat:
    What can be said about this battle's beat that hasn't already been said? A classical sonata-style beat mixed with tons and tons of dubstep. The classical part really makes me happy and I'm always rooting for Mozart at that point, but then when they drop the bass during Skrillex's verse, WOW! I get pumped up! It's good to have a beat that can make you feel calm one second, excited the next.
    9.7/10

    Impersonations:
    I've never really seen any interviews with Skrillex, let alone hear him talk, so the voice for Skrillex is not really disappointing to me since I don't know what the guy sounds like. Lemme look up an interview with Skrillex for a second..........he sounds A LOT like Jonah Hill, so Lloyd is pretty good on the voice for Skrillex. He's also active and his head in face down while he's at the Mac, so he kinda acts like him as well. As for Peter, well, I can't say ANYTHING on the voice because, and I don't know about you guys, but I've never met Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. But I do know one thing about him...HE'S LOUD AS FUCK. And Peter screams so much in this battle while rapping that it really fits the character.
    9/10

    Costumes:
    Skrillex had an accurate costume, as did Mozart. Mozart's came off as a bit more stylish compared to Skrillex's. Skrillex's costume should've been that casual black long-sleeved t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, but I'm not complaining. And Mozart could've had the famous red outfit. Overall, great costumes, but next time try to stick more with what the character is iconic for wearing.
    8/10

    Announcer:
    I don't know what happens to the announcer at the end, but Skrillex fucked him up with dubstep. Somehow. Pete delivers a strong yelling and anger to the announcer this time, and really shows off his skills in, ahem, yelling in this battle.
    9/10

    Verse 1--"A-A-A-A-Amadeus"
    Skrillex is hard in this verse. He rhymes a lot about his success and Mozart's poor childhood. Aand let's give a round of applause for ERB's FOURTH Michael Jackson reference in the line "Your daddy issues make the Jackson 5 look like a family circus". Four times, wow! It feels like just yesterday Lady Gaga was saying "with a more dysfunctional family since the Jackson fucking 5". Ah, good times. Anyways, Skrillex was good.
    8.9/10

    Verse 2--"Reek of Dead Mouse"
    Two...er...THREE words: Dead. Mouse. Reference. I'm not a big dubsteppy kinda guy. I prefer the shit the ERB crew makes, the Beatles, Linkin Park, etc, but not dubstep. However, I got this reference right away. Mozart is truly the world's greatest composer, and god dammit does he show it in this verse. The ERB crew gets a cookie.
    9.4/10

    Verse 3--"With the Bass and Drop Ya"
    My friend, who loves Dubstep, likes to always say "D-d-d-d-d-drop the bass", and so obviously a "drop the bass" reference made me laugh. Skrillex's double tracking really goes KABOOM on Mozart, and this verse was the sole reason why I needed to see the video to decide who won. You'll find out my answer to that question later but as of now, I just wanna say that this verse ROCKED.
    9.4/10

    Verse 4--"Piano to Fortississimo"
    Lines in this verse stretch from mocking complexity to mocking smarts to mocking talent to mocking style. Mozart compares the complexity of dubstep to an IKEA couch (which is, as I'm guessing, easy to assemble), Skrillex's smarts by saying he doesn't know what piano and fortississimo mean, mocks talent by saying Mozart rocked harder at a young age, and mocks style by making fun of Skrillex's music, calling it diarrhea. Mozart DESTROYS Skrillex. Like, BOSS. Boom. YEAH. FUCK YEAH.
    9.8/10

    So, finally, the winner I have chosen for this battle is...
    Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
    You came close, Skrillex, you really did. But there's two reasons why Mozart won: 1) He's fucking Mozart, 2) He just owned you in the vid with the cello and shit. You got served, Skrillex. Up the FUCKING ASSHOLE WITH DAT SHIT.
    And the battle on a scale of 0 to 100 is...
    96.00/100
    The battle has been hinted at since around when Jobs vs Gates came out, same with Tesla vs Edison. We've just been waiting for it for a while and we've been even more waiting for it since Moses vs Santa Claus. Great job, ERB crew, you've outdone yourselves. But let's just see what battle you're finishing off the season with.
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